Ava sat across from the desk in the study with her arms wrapped around her waist, the sleeves of her sweater clenched in her fists, trying to keep the stomach-turning emotions from showing on her face at the mention of Damien’s name. The same as she had six days ago.
“Ava, is everything okay? I asked if you were—”
“Sí, everything is fine. We’re serving spicy BLT bloody Marys, green velvet soup, chicken ravioli with a lemon basil pesto, and a green apple sorbet with homemade chocolate squares to finish.”
Sophie glanced at Dana and Lexi before saying, “Ava, you told us the menu a few minutes ago. I asked if you were going to be okay with the crew filming and Damien asking you a few questions while you guys were cooking?”
She’d been working out the scenarios in her head all week—how she’d avoid Damien, how she’d keep him from being alone with Griffin. Until now, she’d thought that would be the most difficult. “I don’t know how Helga and Theo will feel. It’s already stressful enough as it is.”
“Is that what’s wrong, Ava? You’re stressed?” Dana asked. Like her cousin, she was watching Ava with concern. Lexi wasn’t. Her arms were crossed, her jaw tight, blotches of pink on her cheeks.
Ava had to get out of there before she confronted her about what’s going on. As the day of Damien’s arrival drew closer, she’d done her best to avoid Lexi. “No, I’ve just had a lot on my plate with settling my father in at home and preparing for the competition,” Ava said, telling another lie. Her newly self-sufficient father had come home two days ago. He didn’t need or want her help anymore. She went to stand up. “I should get back to the kitchen. We have to—”
“Sit your ass in the chair now. Dana and Sophie, can you give us a minute alone, please?” Lexi said. She didn’t give them a chance to argue. Going to the door, she held it open.
“I don’t have time for this, Lexi. We have prep work to do before the competition,” Ava said. She wasn’t up for this, not now.
Dana and Sophie had barely made it out the door when Lexi slammed it shut behind them. “If I have to, I’ll tie you to the goddamn chair. So if you really have stuff to do, you better come clean now.”
She looked down at her hands in her lap. “I’m sorry I haven’t had much time for you. I’ve been busy.”
“You think this is about me? This is about Griffin. The man who you agreed to marry a week ago. The man who is worrying himself sick about you. He says you’re acting the same as you did right before you asked him for a divorce, and just like then, he can’t get you to open up.” Lexi sat down heavily in the chair beside Ava, looking at her as though she wanted to wring her neck. “How can you put him through this again? He’s gutted, Ava.”
She closed her eyes, a tear sliding down her cheek. She’d been avoiding Griffin too, using her father as an excuse. Brushing the tear away, she said, “I’ll talk to him. I’m just overwhelmed right now. I’m sorry.”
“You can’t keep doing this to him. He deserves better.”
“I know he does.” As the minutes ticked by, she glanced at Lexi, following the other woman’s gaze to Ava’s hands. Unconsciously she’d been plucking at a loose button. She tucked her hands in the sleeves of her gray sweater. “I should really—”
“Looks like hell. Nails bitten to the quick. Hasn’t eaten or slept in a week from the looks of it. Dressing like shit,” Lexi murmured as if talking to herself, then straightened in the chair. “Let me see your arms.”
“No. I’m not doing drugs if that’s what you’re thinking.”
Concern had replaced the anger on Lexi’s face. “Is your father hurting you again?”
“No, no, he never hurt me intentionally.” She pushed up her sleeves. “See? No bruises, no nothing.”
“Then I don’t understand. You’re not the woman I’ve come to care about. That woman would never, ever, knowingly hurt anyone, especially the man she loves. And I know you love him, Ava. I see it every time you look at him. Please, please tell me what’s going on. Tell me so I can help you like you’ve helped me.” She looked away and sniffed, wiping an arm across her eyes before turning back to her. “I need you to be that woman, Ava. Because that woman is the only one I trust to be the mother of my child when I’m gone.”
The emotions from the past—the fear, guilt, and shame that had caused Ava to withdraw into herself the last few days—were replaced with anger. “Don’t talk foolish. You’re not dying. You’ll get the treatment, and you’ll be fine.”
“You don’t—”
“I know. I was almost a nurse. I would have been a good one, a great one if I…” Her shoulders sagged under the weight of the memories. “It’s Damien. It’s because of Damien I haven’t been myself.”
“Damien Gray, Griff’s best friend?”
Ava nodded, looking down at her hands twisting the loose button as though they were someone else’s. “I’d been stressing over term papers, over Griffin being deployed. I went to a party and cut loose and had too much to drink. Damien was there and offered to take me home. When we got to my room, he backed me against the door and started kissing me. I pushed him away and told him to leave. I thought he had, but when I came out of the bathroom and crawled into bed, he was still there. He held me down and ripped off my pajama bottoms, and then…and then he raped me.”
“Oh, Ava, no. All this time…That’s why you left school and divorced Griffin, isn’t it?”
“I couldn’t tell him, Lexi. Damien threatened to tell him I’d come on to him. That I’d been fooling around on Griffin the entire time I was at school. His friends…He said his friends would back him up.” She lifted a shoulder. “I liked to wear pretty clothes. I was friendly. Some people might say I was flirty. I was young, I liked to have fun. But I never looked at or wanted another man. Griffin was my first. He was my everything. I couldn’t stand the thought of him wondering if I was telling the truth about that night. Couldn’t stand the thought of him even picturing it in his head. I was disgusted with myself, ashamed, and guilt-ridden that I hadn’t been able to stop Damien.”
Lexi had moved out of the chair to crouch in front of Ava, taking her hands in hers. “It wasn’t your fault. Griffin adored you. He never would have doubted your side of the story. He would have stood by you.”
“I know that now. And maybe if my father hadn’t been in an accident six months later, I would have gotten to that place sooner. But that’s not what happened. I was depressed. I think I knew that even then. Sometimes knowing isn’t enough though. I didn’t think I’d be able to get past the fear and disgust when Griffin touched me. It got to the point where I felt like I was hurting him more by staying with him. And apart from worrying that his feelings for me would change if he ever found out, I was terrified he’d either seriously hurt Damien or kill him. Which would have jeopardized everything Griffin had worked so hard for.”
Lexi squeezed her hands. “You have to tell Griffin. I know it’ll be hard. But—”
She shook her head. “No good will come of dredging up the past. It happened more than a decade ago. There’s nothing we can do about it. I’ve dealt with it. All I have to do is get through tomorrow.”
“It’s your decision, and I’ll support you a hundred percent. Just like you’ve supported me. But, Ava, I think Griffin has spent years trying to figure out what he did wrong. I’m not trying to make you feel guilty. I hope you know, really know, deep down in your soul, that none of this was your fault.”
“I do. There was only one person at fault for the rape and that’s Damien. But I allowed what he did to ruin my marriage and hurt the man I love. I was the one who left school because I couldn’t face running into him on campus anymore.”
“Again, not your fault. You went into a depression because of what he did to you. He shouldn’t get off scot-free, not after all you’ve lost because of him.”
“I’ve got Griffin back. That’s all that really matters.” She smiled. “And I’ve got you too.”
“Yeah, you do. So what do you need me to do tomorrow to make this easier for you?”
“Don’t let him be alone with Griffin.”
“Done, and you’ve got yourself another sous chef. I’m not letting Damien anywhere near you without me by your side. So we better go to the kitchen and you can teach me to chop things.” She pulled Ava from the chair, and then, the woman who’d never initiated a hug before, hugged her.
The next day Ava didn’t know why she’d bothered to show Lexi how to chop vegetables. The only thing her friend had wielded the knife at was Damien when he came within three feet of Ava.
He hadn’t changed. He was as handsome and charming as he’d always been. She supposed she shouldn’t be surprised. Before that long-ago night, she’d never seen that other side of him.
Ava hadn’t been left alone with him for a second. She’d barely responded to his questions, lapsing into Italian the one time that she did. At first Helga and Theo had seemed confused, and then, as though they’d picked up that something was wrong, they jumped in to fill the breach every time Damien asked another question.
When she forgot to add the dried split peas to the soup, Theo had covered for her, adding them himself. Same as when she forgot to add the lemon to the pesto. That time Helga had come to her rescue. As they mopped her sweaty brow, they complained about the heat. It was actually freezing. When the bell rang, signaling that their time was up, Ava’s legs went weak with relief.
She didn’t know how she managed to remain upright in front of the judges. She barely registered the crowd that had gathered in the dining room. All she knew was that Griffin, his father, and Liam weren’t there. They’d gone to the airport to pick up Finn and Aidan, who were arriving at nearly the same time.
“We won! We won!” Theo bounced up and down and then hugged her. “Thank you, thank you, I’m your slave for life.”
Because the Marquis had taken the slot earlier in the afternoon, the winner of the competition was announced at Greystone. “You more than proved yourself, Theo. Thank you, for today especially. We wouldn’t have won without you. Or you, Helga.” She pulled the older woman in for a group hug. The three of them went to the table to shake the judges’ hands. When Basil mentioned to Theo that he might have an opening at one of his restaurants, she was surprised to hear him say, “I appreciate the offer, sir, but I think this is where I’m meant to be.”
Sophie and Dana joined them, setting up a time to discuss Basil and his bride-to-be’s wedding plans. Looking at everyone’s happy, smiling faces, Ava was glad she hadn’t bailed upon learning Damien would be here. Admittedly, the thought had crossed her mind. And in that moment, she was proud of herself. Proud that she hadn’t allowed him to steal this from her too.
Sophie and Dana led the judges to the ballroom where the St. Patrick’s Day celebration was getting under way. Damien glanced from Ava to Helga and Theo, then he hailed down Basil’s fiancée for an interview.
“Go and enjoy yourselves. I’ll clean up the kitchen,” Ava said to Helga, Theo, and Erin, who’d just joined them. After the strain of the last hour, Ava could use a little time to herself.
“Oh. My. God, did you see how hot that Damien Gray is? I’m going to ask him—” Erin began before Ava cut her off.
“No,” she said forcefully at almost the same time as Theo and Helga. The three of them looked at one another.
“Trust me,” Theo said to Erin. “I’ve met his type before. That guy is bad news.”
“He was a lecher when he was young, and I don’t see any sign he’s changed. He was practically undressing Ava with his eyes.” Helga tapped her Coke-bottle lenses. “I don’t miss much with my new specs.”
Lexi pulled her in for a hug when the room cleared out. “It’s almost over. Will you be okay if I go to the ballroom to keep an eye on things? Griffin should be back anytime now.”
“Yes, please. I’d feel better if you were there.”
“You have to come to the party. At least for a few minutes for Griffin’s sake. I’ll pretend I’m not feeling well, and we can get out of there whenever you want to.”
“Okay. I just need some time to decompress.” After Lexi left, Ava thought about what she’d just said. She shouldn’t need to decompress. She should be celebrating the win with everyone, celebrating her and Griffin’s engagement. And beneath the worry and fear of earlier, something else bubbled up inside her, anger and resentment.
She slapped her hand on the kitchen door, pushing it open. Walking to the radio, she turned it up and kicked off her shoes in hopes the music would relax and calm her like it usually did. But when the song she’d downloaded for Lexi’s afternoon walks came on—“Fight Song” by Rachel Platten—it had the opposite effect.
In his own way, Damien had won again. He’d stolen her joy, and she’d let him. It was time. Time for her to take her life back. And as she thought of everything she’d say to him, she scrubbed the counters in time to the music.
“There’s the Ava I remember.”
Her hand froze, and she slowly turned her head. It was Damien, leaning against the closed door with a glass of wine in his hand.
Simon yowled, and Colleen whipped her arms around, the movement sending the newspaper and half-full teacup off the nesting tables in Jasper’s room.
“Stop that. Stop that right now. I’ll get the memoirs,” Jasper finally relented, muttering under his breath as he crossed the room. He removed an oil painting from the far wall to reveal a safe.
Colleen gave her head a frustrated shake when he carefully lowered the painting to the floor. He didn’t understand the urgency of the matter. “Hurry up. Ava’s in danger and no one knows. He’s here. Damien Gray is here.”
Lexi had been hovering around Ava, but despite the two being thick as thieves, Colleen didn’t think Ava would share her secret. And it was killing the child. She was slipping back to her old ways. Colleen had seen her walking around with a hollow look on her face in that old, ratty sweater. Ava didn’t deserve this. She’d finally gotten her second chance with Griffin. Colleen would be damned if Damien Gray was going to get in their way.
“You have no idea what you’re up against, Damien Gray, but you’re about to find out,” Colleen said as Jasper removed the book from his safe. He sat on the edge of the bed, and she joined him. As soon as he opened the book, she blew on the pages toward the back of her memoirs. They didn’t have time to waste.
“No, no, not back that far,” she said, growing both impatient and nervous. She brought her finger to the page and focused on moving it. After all the energy she’d expended earlier, it wasn’t easy. Once she managed to flip the first few, it became easier. Finally, she turned the page to six years earlier where she’d recorded Ava’s story.
Jasper scanned the lines of the page, his angular face tightening as he read what Damien Gray had done to Ava. He briefly closed his eyes as he reached the bottom of the page and bowed his head. “You should have told Master Griffin, Madame. He deserved to know,” Jasper said, and rose to his feet.
“You’re not telling me anything I don’t already know. But Ava needs us now.”
He returned the book to the safe, removing an old Smith & Wesson revolver before shutting the door. “Don’t worry, Madame. Damien Gray will pay for what he’s done. I’ll see to that myself.”
Colleen gaped at him. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all. All it took was one look at Griffin to know he was a dangerous man. But what no one had realized, other than her, is how dangerous Jasper could be. She leaped from the bed and tugged on his arm. “You put that back.”
Either the slight movement of his sleeve didn’t register or he was ignoring her because he replaced the painting, stuck the revolver in the waistband of his trousers, and headed for the door. She’d seen the same coldly furious look on his face once before. Somehow she had to make him see reason. For the life of her, she didn’t know how.
But as she hurried after him, something caught her eye. It was a copy of the Harmony Harbor Gazette lying on the floor. They’d done a feature on today’s St. Paddy’s Day celebration at the manor. It was on the front page and accompanied by a photograph of Kitty. Colleen tried to pick the paper up but couldn’t make her fingers work. “Simon, come here. You need to bring this to Jasper, and you need to do it fast.”
Jasper would get the message. He’d understand the point Colleen was trying to make. He was in love with her daughter-in-law and had been for a very long time. If he did something stupid and ended up behind bars, he would no longer be there for Kitty. And that’s all the man lived for—Kitty and Greystone.
Simon picked up the paper and managed to slip through the door just before it closed. Jasper wasn’t wasting any time and was almost at the second-floor landing when Simon caught up to him. Simon dropped the paper at his feet. Jasper stared at it for a moment and then nodded. “I know, Madame. I won’t make that mistake again. But one way or another, Damien Gray will pay for what he did to Ava.”
There wasn’t much more Colleen could do. She hoped it had been enough to make him see reason. She walked beside him to the ballroom. If not for Damien, she could enjoy the spectacle of the celebration. She loved St. Paddy’s Day, and the girls had done a right-fine job. The room was filled to capacity with friends and townsfolk enjoying the food and music. Like Jasper, she moved throughout the packed room looking for Ava and Griffin.
She found her family at a table at the far end. Griffin took a swig of beer, obviously angry at something his brother Finn said. Colin and Liam shared a worried glance. No doubt seeing what Colleen herself did. Griffin was hurting.
“I’m just saying what you’re all thinking,” Finn said. “What? Am I the only one who recognizes that look in his eyes? For Chrissakes, Griffin, cut her loose before it’s too—”
Lexi, who’d been scanning the ballroom, got up from the chair beside Griffin. “You have no idea what you’re talking about, so shut the hell up. You say one more word about Ava, and you’ll be wearing your beer.”
“Whoa, since when did you become her—”
Griffin slammed his beer bottle on the table. “Not another word out of you, Finn.” He twisted in his chair. “Lexi, babe, calm down.”
She pushed her hand through her hair, frantically searching the ballroom. “Where’s Gray? He was at Basil’s table a few minutes ago.”
“I think he headed out—” Liam began.
“Ava,” Lexi said on a panicked whisper, pushing past the chairs.
“What about…Dammit, Lex.” Griffin shot out of his chair to go after her. Colin and Liam did the same.
“What the hell’s going on?” Aidan said as he approached the table.
“I don’t know, but I think we better find out. Push this damn thing, will you?” Finn said, gesturing to the handles of his wheelchair.
Cluing in to why Lexi had said Ava’s name, Colleen stopped searching the ballroom and rushed after them. Jasper must have figured it out before her and was running toward the kitchen. By the time Colleen caught up to them, they were all standing, stunned, in the dining room. At the sound of Ava’s raised voice, Colleen understood why.
“I said no! I told you to leave when you shoved me up against the door and kissed me. Wanted you? Wanted you! The only man I have ever wanted is Griffin, and you knew it. You stole that from me, you violated me, you raped me!”
There was a low growl, and then Griffin said in a cold, menacing voice, “I’m going to kill him.”
Lexi moved to stand in front of him and wrapped her arms around his waist, tears streaming down her face. Kitty was there now, too, crying. So were Sophie and Dana. “No, let her do this. She needs to do this. Please,” Lexi begged him.
Jasper, who’d taken a step toward the door, stopped and bowed his head, drawing in slow, measured breaths.
Colin and Liam moved to Griffin. Colin placed a hand on his son’s shoulder. “Lexi’s right, Ava’s been carrying this around for far too long. Let her get it out.”
Griffin looked away, overcome with emotion, his shoulders shaking.
Colleen couldn’t take it anymore and strode through the kitchen door. Her family’s hands might be tied, but hers weren’t. It wasn’t as if the police could charge a ghost.
“You won’t tell Griffin. He won’t believe you even if you do. He knows what you were like back then, the good-time party girl in her short skirts and low-cut tops.” Damien’s lip curled, his eyes moving over Ava.
“And you were a good-time party boy in your skintight jeans who thought the world revolved around him. So tell me, Gray, if you had too much to drink and Becky Waters tore your clothes off you, climbed on top of you, and—”
“Shut up, it wasn’t like that. It—”
“Was exactly like that. You knew I would never cheat on Griffin. You knew I had no interest in you. But no one ever said no to star quarterback Damien Gray, did they? You just took what you wanted. Well, no more. You’re not going to get away—”
He snarled and grabbed Ava by the upper arms. “You say one word about this to anyone, and I’ll make you—”
Overcome with fury, Colleen grabbed the frying pan off the stove.
Ava lifted her hands and placed her palms on his chest. “Don’t ever threaten or touch me again,” she said, and shoved him.
He stumbled backward, and his head hit the frying pan that was hanging midair. He went down with a loud thud. Ava stared at the frying pan, her eyes wide. Colleen dropped it just as the kitchen door burst open. Griffin stood there. “Ava…”
Ava’s gaze flew past him to the people crowded in the doorway behind him. Her hand went to her mouth, muffling a sob. “No, no,” she whispered, shaking her head. She frantically pushed past everyone, running from the dining room.
“Griffin, go after her,” Lexi said.
Colleen watched as her great-grandson battled for control—his big hands balled into fists, the muscles in his chest and arms flexing. “Lexi’s right, my boy. He’s not worth it. Ava needs you now more than ever.”
“I’ll take care of him, Master Griffin,” Jasper said.
There was a groan from the floor, and Damien slowly pushed himself to his hands and knees. “Bitch, I’m going to sue—”
Jasper lifted Damien to his feet and held him against the wall. He glanced over his shoulder. “Anyone mind if I take the first shot?”
“I do,” Lexi said, and walked over to Damien, kneeing him hard in the groin.
“Don’t put one foot on that bridge, Ava,” Griffin called out to her, his voice ragged from holding back his emotions, his fury. It’d taken everything he had not to kill Damien with his bare hands.
“I’m sorry,” he heard her say on a broken whisper as she turned from the bridge and walked past him with her head bowed, the edges of her sweater fisted in her hands.
He reached for her. “Sweet face, where are you going? I’m right here.”
“You told me not to go over the bridge. I thought you didn’t want me anymore.”
“Jesus, God, no.” He pulled her into his arms. “I’ll always want you, baby. I never stopped wanting you, loving you. Even when I wanted to stop, I couldn’t.” He drew back and framed her face with his hands. “We made a promise the other night, remember? Nothing crosses that bridge but us. He doesn’t get to come between us, and he sure as hell doesn’t get to taint our special place.”
She covered his hands with hers. “I’m sorry. I should have told you, but I was so afraid, so ashamed.”
“I’m not going to lie to you. Even if it’s difficult for you to hear, I’ll always tell you the truth. So you listen to me now. The hardest thing I’ve ever done is stand outside that door and hear what happened to you. What he did to you. What he took from you, from us. I wish you had come to me too. But you had nothing to be ashamed of back then or now. You did nothing wrong. This is all on him.” He kissed the tears from her face. “We’ll get past this. I’ve waited too long to get you back to have anything come between us. You need to talk about this, we’ll talk. You want us to see someone to work through this together, I’m there. But we don’t walk back across Starlight Bridge until both of us have made our peace with this. Got it?”
“Got it.” She reached up on her toes and kissed him. “I love you.”
“I’ve never loved you more or been more proud of you.” He held her tight and then drew back to take her hand.
“Griffin, I can’t go back to the manor. They all heard. They all know…”
“It was long past time they did. And, honey, I know it’ll be tough, but tomorrow, you and I are going to see your dad. He needs to hear it from you.”
She nodded and looked up at him. “I’ll have to tell my Auntie Rosa, Marco, and Dorothy too.”
“Yeah, but not right now. We have something else we need to do.”
“I don’t know if I can go to the police, Griffin. I never told anyone, and…”
“If it was up to me, you’d be pressing charges. But I’ll support whatever you decide to do. Right now, though, you and I have a date with a bonfire to burn your ugly-ass sweater. And I hope when we do, we burn up some of those memories too.”
An hour later, Griffin sat with Ava in his arms on the beach at Kismet Cove, the flames flickering and dancing in the black velvet night sky, waves rolling onto shore, wood smoke scenting the air. “You cold? You ready to go up?” He wrapped his jacket around her.
“No, I could stay here all night and look at the stars.”
“Do you remember how to find Polaris?”
She pointed to the sky. “There’s the Big Dipper.” She moved her finger down. “Dubhe and Merak.” Then she drew a line straight across. “And there’s Polaris.” Turning in his arms, she smiled and trailed her finger down his jaw and neck to place her hand over his heart. “This is my North Star.”
He lowered his head to kiss her. “And you’re my—”
“Griffin, Ava, it’s Lexi. She’s in labor and losing it,” Liam called out. “She thinks she’s dying.”