Date and time not noted
The caves had never looked so spectacularly alive. The whole family, both Chounan and Dupré, was gathered, their white dresses shrouding them like robes. I knew what was coming and every second I stood in the center of my family, I wanted to turn back. I looked at Seanmhair and she nodded at me. Be strong, her look seemed to say. Maybe she could sense how, every moment that passed, I was close to putting it to an end. All around me, the men and women began to chant, my aunt Kirret played her deep drum, and slowly the air began to crackle with power, like an electricity cable cut in half.
I could feel my arms and hands throbbing beneath the cotton wrappings that Seanmhair applied not more than an hour ago. Outside, I knew, the sun would be setting, the light fading away. She would be here soon.
I had to focus. I couldn’t look at Seanmhair, at Kirret, at Jarrah, or any of my cousins. I was apart now, or I would be soon. I knew what had to be done.
Jeanie came in smiling, apparently surprised by the sound of the song that echoed around the cave.
She laughed. “Naida?”
Naida Camera Footage
Ritual Caves
29 June 2005
Men and women in white clothing gather around the edges of the cave. Naida’s grandmother is among them, sitting on a rock shelf in the wall, her skirts sitting around her legs and draped over her head in a cascade. She takes up a song, the words a mixture of the island Gaelic and a local pidgin dialect. After the first verse, the others take up the song, aided in rhythm by Kirret’s large drum.
Naida stands in the center of the half ring they have created; she is facing the opening of the cave. Both arms are bandaged in white to her fingers, and the rest of her is draped, like the others, in white.
Naida stands still, staring at the cave. She turns her head once, to look at her grandmother, who nods without a smile, and then she focuses on the cave opening again. Her hair is still damp from her earlier perspiration, but she seems still and calm.
Jeanette “Jeanie” Stanner enters the cave after the song has been sung for three long minutes, the volume and pitch rising with every passing minute, echoing around the cave.
Jeanie pauses just in-frame. She laughs, frowning at the scene.
“Uh… Naida?”
I said nothing, just stood watching her. Her cheek twitched and she stepped closer, still smiling.
“A party just for me?” she joked, and I just stood there.
“What the hell, Naida?” she said after my silence went on without signal. I wasn’t fooled. I saw the serpent staring out at me from her eyes. The poison that had gotten into my friend was shining out at me through her eyes.
Yet it still tried to fool me. “Did you want to see me or what?”
I blinked, waiting for it to give up the game, as I assumed it would. Eventually, it would need to leave, and the moment it tried, it would find it couldn’t. The song kept it here.
I had to trust that my family, together, was strong enough to hold on for me. Long enough for me to do this.
As the minutes passed, I could see Jeanie getting more and more uncomfortable.
“I’m going to leave if you don’t stop this,” she said at last.
My gaze bored into hers. I could almost feel my power, unwillingly aided by the serpent, chipping away at hers as she rubbed at her arms, twitched in her face, began to breathe heavily and sweat.
“Stop it,” she said, looking at my family. As if sensing that it was working, they began to sing louder.
Naida Camera Footage: Continued
Naida remains motionless, staring at Jeanie, who seems uncomfortable. Her eyes dart to the singers and then she smiles again at Naida.
“A party just for little me?”
Naida says nothing, her form immobile. If the wounds she inflicted upon herself are bothering her, she gives no outward sign.
Jeanie, growing increasingly unsettled, snaps, “What the fuck, Naida?” She is twitchy, like a drug addict trying to act normal when experiencing withdrawal. Like an addict trying to score from a reluctant seller.
“Did you call me for something, or what?”
Her posture grows more agitated, and she begins to rub her arms and crack her neck. It is as though a deep anxiety has come over her.
“I’m not in the mood for games, Naida. I’m going to leave if you don’t stop!”
But the song grows louder, and Jeanie takes a step backward, but doesn’t leave.
The flames in the torches stir, affected by the rise in carbon dioxide and by the warmth in the cavern. Jeanie begins to perspire. She wipes her brow.
“Stop it,” she tells the singers, who continue, louder again. She covers her ears. “Stop it!”
I could feel myself settling into an accepting sense of calm, and when Seanmhair sprinkled the herbs into the torches and the smoke began to rise, I felt myself closing my eyes, hearing Seanmhair say the words she had taught me, and descending into the Dead House.
Jeanie, with no choice but to follow, did.
Like a downward cadence of music, we dropped into the house, the light dimming significantly, like the sun dipping behind storm clouds. Shadows ruled in this place now.
“What are you doing? Where are we?” Jeanie asked. She was standing in front of me in the empty entrance hall. We weren’t alone.
This is my Dead House, I thought, loud enough for her to hear.
She stared at me. “Naida… your voice!”
The Dead House is my mind. Dead because of what’s inside it, and what I’ve seen and been through. It’s not really mine anymore.
Jeanie frowned. “Is this a dream?”
You’re going to wake up soon. But first we need to sort out a few things. You have something that belongs to me. I want it back.
I saw the poisonous thing inside her flinch back, and she stumbled.
“What… what was that?”
Naida Camera Footage: Continued
Naida and Jeanie face each other; Naida stands dead-faced and still, while Jeanie squirms and writhes where she stands. She is flushed, perspiring, and seemingly panicked.
She tries to back away, but something keeps her in the cavern. The singing continues, and has continued now for six long minutes.
From the side of the screen we can see the smallest movement as Naida’s grandmother reaches into her skirts, into some hidden pocket, and throws what looks like lavender flowers and a mixture of other herbs into the flames. As they burn, they give rise to plumes of light smoke.
Naida’s grandmother says a few words in Gaelic, and then both Naida and a struggling Jeanie close their eyes.
All movement ceases from both of the girls, while the song around them continues.
The serpent, I thought. Come out, Beast. Come out, Coward. Face me yourself.
Jeanie frowned, but the thing inside stirred again.
Too afraid?
And then it came. Jeanie bent forward, gagging as the serpent left her mind. It slithered out of her mouth, stretching so that it looked as though her mouth might split open.
It took a long time, endless coils of serpent body, until, at last, it slipped from her completely, landing on the hard floor with a slap.
It curled around itself defensively. I smiled.
Welcome back.
The snake, which I’d have thought monstrous if I’d encountered it out in the real world, was a pathetic little piece of the demon inside me. It slithered off to join the greater whole.
Jeanie coughed and coughed, unable to speak. I knew we didn’t have much time.
I was right. The house began to rumble and shake as the serpent that was my own demon came sliding through the hallways toward us.
“What—”
And there it was, as wide as the doorway and as thick. It came forward, sure of its own power, and stared down at us.
Naida Camera Footage: Continued
The song continues; Naida and Jeanie remain still.
Sssstupid girlssssss, it hissed.
I merely looked up at it. I was no longer afraid. Through the walls, I could hear the faintest sounds of the song out in the cave. I smiled.
I’ve got you, Demon.
The thing laughed, baring fangs the length of my spine. Ssssso confidenttttt. Butttt you broughtttt me my vessssssel. A nicccccce little presssssenttttttt.
The song grew louder in the house, and I focused on it, and as I did, the voices grew warmer, more real, so loud that the room was shivering with it.
Sssssstop!
I began to sing too, with the voice of my mind, adding to it the words Seanmhair had taught me, and the serpent flinched away, retreating into the house, but it had made itself too big and was simply stuck.
I looked at Jeanie. You have to go.
I shoved at her once, twice, a third time, until she was flung from the window, into a blackness I knew was the waking world.
Whatttt have you done? the thing screamed. Whatttt have yoooou done?
I glanced at the snake with a grim smile and followed her.
Naida Camera Footage: Continued
There is no movement for a long time, but Jeanie’s face twitches as though she is straining against a migraine or having a bad dream.
Eventually, Jeanie opens her mouth, screams, and stumbles back as though she has been struck. When she straightens, she is alert.
The song stops instantly, like a record cut off, and the silence is sudden and heavy.
Moments later, Naida opens her eyes. Something inside her seems to contract, because she flinches and bends slightly forward as though in pain. That is when she removes her bandages and long, thin overdress, revealing that into the flesh of her arms, hands, and legs, runic symbols have been cut. She closes her eyes, straightens and flexes her hands, spreading them wide. The spasm seems to have passed.
She looks at Jeanie, who stares at her with shock, her mouth wide, her whole body shaking. She turns and runs from the cavern without a word.
Naida drops her head and takes a slow breath. Then she turns around and walks to where Seanmhair sits. At some point during the song, protected from view by the white clothing of the rest of the family, she had lain her head down on the rocks to her right and closed her eyes.
Naida sits next to her grandmother and takes her hands in her own. She stares at them for a long time, and then sits forward and kisses her cheek.
On the other side, I was cold. Empty of everything I once was. I could feel the thing inside me fighting to get away—to get out. Find Jeanie again, or someone else, a vessel it could use. But it was too late.
I shed my bandages and ripped free my ritual dress, leaving only the simple summer dress behind. I could feel the symbols throbbing with power, and I let them do their work. I stretched my hands, my arms, my legs wide, allowing the power of Mother Karrah and Father Gorro and the other Olen to act.
I was now what I would always be.
A living cage.
I knew she was gone, waiting for me to say my good-bye. To acknowledge the debt that was now paid to the Olen for my misdeeds.
The price for all I had done.
She looked like she was sleeping, except for the strange texture of her skin. I sat beside her, thinking I could die of such deep, unrelenting grief. But of course I didn’t. I had a purpose now. I took her hands and kissed her cheek, but then I lost myself completely in my despair, and I grasped at her robes, at her, hugged her to me, and we collapsed on the floor and I was screaming. The price was too high! Seanmhair should never have offered this. Should never have insisted.
I screamed for the inevitability of death. For my lost innocence. For a debt finally repaid. For the sacrifice she had made, because she loved me.
Naida Camera Footage: Continued
Naida stays next to her grandmother, head on her shoulder, her eyes glassy. But then she turns her face in to her grandmother’s body, and grasps her clothing, and then pulls her into a hug, both of them falling off the rock shelf and onto the floor in a heap. Naida’s grandmother’s head is flung back, her mouth opening like a tiny cavern of its own. Naida’s fists are bunched around her grandmother’s robes, and she screams. She screams and screams, shaking her grandmother, who does not respond.
The family watch her with mournful gazes, as though acknowledging what has been done this day. Allowing the dead to pass on, and giving the living left behind the time to react. None of them seem surprised by what has happened, only sad and accepting.
A commotion at the entrance causes a few surprised glances. Scott Fromley runs into the room, skidding to a stop when he sees Naida bent over her grandmother. She is no longer screaming.
“Naida,” he breathes. “Oh my God, what happened?”
Naida, breathing heavily, wipes her nose and face, and then gets to her feet. Taking a moment, it seems, to steady herself, she takes one deep breath, squaring her shoulders.
Then she turns around and walks calmly past Scott without a glance and out of the cave. She looks drained of everything she has.
Scott turns after her. “Naida!”
Do you want to know what Kaitie told me that day in the hospital, when she came to see me?
She told me that the demon was inside her, and that she needed to stop it. And the only way to do that was to destroy the vessel. She said she’d had a vision and that she had to burn the school. That the school had been connected to the thing inside her somehow.
As though, she said, it had been poisoned.
I finally know what she meant. I was poisoned the day it struck me. The day I mutilated myself. The day I learned the word. Jeanie was poisoned by my poison, and the demon within us grew and grew.
Like a person sucking on a snakebite, I drew the poison out of her, back into myself. Jeanie will go back to her life, but she’ll never forget. And maybe she’ll never figure out the truth of what happened. I hope, at least, she stays out of prison and out of care. The Silent Boys took her back the same afternoon. They were waiting for her when she went running to the docks. I doubt I’ll ever see or hear from her again, and that is well.
There was something else Kaitlyn told me that day in the hospital. She told me where she hid her journal. That I should read it, to understand, and then put it back.
So here I am, sitting in the ruins of Elmbridge, her journal on the floor in front of me, and mine in my lap. We’re together, she and I.
Even if she’s gone. I can almost feel her.
Naida Camera Footage: Continued
Kirret steps forward; she has also been crying.
“Scott, my lad. Naida is leaving. Tonight. Alone. She asked me to give you this—it explains everything. I’m afraid that you’re never going to see that lass again. But trust me when I say, she loves you. Deeper than a person should love. She wants you to be happy, to—”
Scott takes the letter, his face pale and panicked. “What is this? Never see her again?”
Kirret nods.
“No,” he says, shaking his head and balling his hands into fists. “No!”
He turns and runs from the cave, shouting Naida’s name.