1. “Stop thinking of your own needs” is taught by sincere, well-intentioned Christians. The problem is that it’s not a biblical message. It sounds true, but it’s not an accurate interpretation of the Scriptures (Matt. 7:12).
—What have your life experiences taught you about how to get your needs met, when to get your needs met, and whether it’s okay to get your needs met?
—Do you balk at needing people and asking for help and support? Why or why not?
2. The idea that “Its selfish to have my needs met” fails to distinguish between selfishness and stewardship, the God-given responsibility to meet your own needs (Gal. 6:5).
—Explain how getting your needs met can indeed be good stewardship rather than selfishness.
—Why would God build dependency into all of us (1 Cor. 12:21)? What can we experience and learn from that dependency that we might not experience and learn otherwise?
3. Our needs are God-given and intended to propel us to growth and to God.
—Explain why “one of the most spiritual activities you can perform is to need other people” (18*) (Eccl. 4:10).
—Each of us is to be functionally independent and, at the same time, relationally dependent. Explain this statement and evaluate how you’re doing on both counts.
4. The Bible teaches that having our needs met frees us to meet the needs of others without resentment. God’s Word teaches that the most comforting people in the world are those who have been comforted; the most understanding people are those who have been understood; and the most loving people are those who have been loved (Luke 7:47; 2 Cor. 1:3–4; 2 Cor. 9:6–7).
—When have you seen this principle in real life? When have you seen someone able to give because they had let themselves receive that very thing they were now giving?
—What do you struggle to give freely and generously because you yourself need to receive it?
Are you asking for what you need? You may need support in a crisis, advice about a problem, or comfort in a loss. Know that your heavenly Father welcomes all your needs. Remember, too, that “every good and perfect gift is from above” (James 1:17), and these gifts often come to us through other people (Acts 9:6–19).
* The numbers in parentheses refer you to the page on which this point was made.