~ One-Sided? ~
With my new shadow suit, spending time with Luke was a cinch. Finding the time was the hard part. Like Roman, he had practice for the better part of every weekday and weekend evening. When we did get together, we explored the underground castle and took the secret passageway outside. Riding around on Luke’s Cyclone with him wasn’t so bad once I got used to it. Mostly because I got to press against him and feel his arms surround me.
The only bad thing was that every second was an internal battle. I was in seventh heaven being with Luke again, but this unexplainable sensation I felt inside for the first time made me want so much more.
Unfortunately, those Cyclone rides were the closest I ever got to him. He held my hand when we couldn’t see each other in the shadow suits, but we would have lost each other without that. I never knew where I was going. I began wondering if these feelings were one-sided.
Weeknights, I would meet him right inside the door of the dark gym and he would throw a black cloak over me before we made our way to the little snack room with all the two-person chairs. No one ever thought it strange when a dark, hooded figure entered the room and took a seat. It was nice to curl up by the fire with Luke and have dinner each night.
Avoiding Roman was an added bonus. Only my roommates knew what I was doing, and they kept telling him I was sick in bed. I just had to remember to tell my con to power down during these times.
Harmony bounced on my bed to wake me up Friday morning. “Your two boyfriends are competing today,” she said quietly.
“Neither of them’re my boyfriend,” I responded sleepily. I rolled over and pulled my pillow over my head.
“Whatever.” She gave it one more good bounce before she got up.
The anticipation began to set in as I climbed out of bed and did my morning thing. I would finally get to watch Winter Competitions from the stands. Last Saturday, the Tracers and I gathered in Rose’s hospital room to celebrate our victories and watch the academic competition on her con, so I missed out on it then.
And by the way, Sassy was right. Academics were definitely the most boring part.
All the way to breakfast, my roommates kept giving me advice about how best to let Roman down:
“Be gentle. Let him down easy.”
“Tell him you don’t want to be in a relationship right now, and you’d be happier as friends...”
Luke’s advice was the only one that mattered, though, because he’s a guy. He knew how their minds worked. Short and simple. That was the plan.
“Roman Armstrong, team captain of the North Haven Snow Riders, will be leading his team today,” Connie was saying as we entered the dining hall. I looked back at the projection and watched him glide with his snowmobile to the top of a hill and ram someone else’s hard enough to send its rider flying on the other side. His picture, which happened to be a really good one, appeared in an upper corner as Connie gave his stats.
I felt sad, as I took my seat, that I would be breaking his heart that night. At least I was giving him his big day first.
The rest of the team was briefly highlighted as we started eating, but Roman had obviously been given the spotlight.
As I was finishing my last piece of bacon, the room darkened. Purple flames glowed against the bottom of the wall and a picture of Luke leaning against a black wall with his arms crossed over his chest appeared. “Leading the Southland Cinder High Snow Riders this year is Knight,” a low voice said.
I set my glass down hallway to my mouth and leaned forward to drool. “Isn’t he gorgeous?” I said, forgetting everything else as I stared at him. Even his picture set me on fire.
A body leaned against mine from behind and Roman kissed my cheek. “Hey, sweetie.”
A totally different fire ignited inside me. “Don’t do that,” I said, leaning away.
He sat down beside me with his back against the table. “Come on, Kristine. I haven’t seen you all week. You look like you’re feeling better.”
I shrugged and turned back to Luke just before another Cinder came on the screen. Darn it. I’d have to sit there and wait for the whole thing to run through and replay to see him again.
The rest of the North Haven Snow Riders came in noisily and sat around their captain. Only one girl was on the team.
Roman reached out for my hand.
“Harmony and I have activities committee in a little bit,” I said, pulling it away as I stood up.
Roman grabbed it anyway and stood up, too. “Why don’t you skip it and spend the morning with me? Mr. Fielding won’t mind—” He used his other hand to pull me close to him. “—not if you’re with today’s head competitor. We’re like North Haven’s couple of the year. Captain of the Tracers and Snow Riders.”
“Roman—there’s something really important I need to talk to you about, and I’d rather do it after your competition. So let’s wait for tonight, okay?” Placing my hands on his chest, I tried to push him away, but he held fast, looking positively elated.
“Tell me now.”
“No, I want to do it after the game.”
“Whatever you say.” He kept his death grip around me as he leaned forward to kiss me and I fought to get away.
The sound of glass breaking filled the air. Everyone turned to stare at a guy sitting at the second Cinder table with two halves of a plate in his hands. In the dark room at the darkest end of the table, it was impossible to see his face.
“Are you crazy? I’ll get you sick,” I said to Roman.
“I don’t care. I want a good luck kiss.” He tried to kiss me again, but I finally broke free.
“I don’t want you to get sick. Just find me after the competition’s over, okay?”
“Sorry, Roman.” Harmony grabbed my hand. “We’ve gotta go.”
Relief. Pure relief. “What took you so long?” I asked, hooking my arm in hers and power walking away.
“You were squirmin’ like a worm back there. He’s so oblivious.”
“I’m glad it’ll all be over tonight.”
A hand shot out and grabbed my arm. The giant shadow that’d broken the plate with his bare hands stood up and leaned close to me. “Lu—Knight!” Seeing his face and feeling his hand on my arm was so much better than a picture on the screen.
“Meet me in the gym at eleven-thirty,” he whispered.
“But you compete at noon.” Competitions started earlier than usual so the Riders would have enough daylight. He’d never have enough time to get dressed and pull his snowmobile out.
“Hey, Knight,” Roman shouted from across the room, still standing where I’d left him. “Hands off.”
The volume in the dinner hall lowered as Luke gave him a wicked grin and let go. “Tonight,” he muttered.
And then Harmony and I were out the door.
* * * *
We didn’t actually have a committee meeting. It was a free day with the early competition. But Harmony and I did work on creating standing armor suits for the dance, using thin cardboard and silver spray paint. That was our weekend project. Different members of the activities committee had different responsibilities. I envied Miss Rivers getting to make the life-size pictures of an evil dragon circling a maiden trapped in a tower.
At eleven-thirty, when Harmony and Sassy started talking about heading to the arena, I realized I was supposed to meet Luke and made my way across the second floor and down to the Cinder gym as quickly as I could. He was already leaning against the wall next to the door inside.
He reached out for my arm when he saw me and let his hand slide down until he was holding mine. “You’re still going through with it tonight?”
“Yeah.”
“Where can I find you when you’re finished with Armstrong?”
“I don’t know. Where do Snow Riders go after the competition?”
“We go to the competitors’ rooms, if we’re still in one piece.”
“Don’t try to scare me.” Somehow, until that moment, I hadn’t thought about the possibility of Luke getting hurt. “You’ll be careful, won’t you?”
“There’s no careful for Snow Riders. I’ll be fine, though.”
“Well...I guess I’ll wait for him outside the boys’ competitors’ room. It’s right next to the girls’.”
“Or you could follow the hallway around. There’s a storage room just after you get on our side. If you tell him in there, no one’ll have to see him cry like a little baby. Then you could wait for me in the hall.”
“What am I supposed to do if he cries?”
“Nothing.” Still, I really hoped he wouldn’t cry. “So, will you wait for me there?”
“Yes.”
I held my wrist up and struggled to read my watch. “It’s eleven-forty, Luke. I don’t want to leave you, but I don’t want you to miss the match either.”
“I know.”
He put his free hand behind my neck and began rubbing it. In that moment, as I rested my hand on his elbow, I felt so close to him. The line between best friends and something more was so fine. I wanted to know. I wanted him.
“Try to be careful—for me—please,” I said. Unable to restrain myself any longer, I turned my head enough to kiss his arm.
His hand became still as he drew in a breath. His eyes looked angry and surprised at the same time. I’d never seen him look that way before.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
His stiff hands drew away as he turned to leave.
“Good luck, Luke,” I said.
He looked back at me. His eyes, somehow darker than usual, were pained. Something was very wrong.
“Did I—”
He turned away and left me all alone.