~ Go or Stay ~
The familiar sound of bubbling water roused me from sleep. “Kristine Con, answer,” I mumbled without bothering to open my eyes.
A few seconds later, I heard Connie’s voice say, “Good morning, North Haven High School students. The time is six a.m. Headmaster has asked that everyone meet in the dining hall in twenty minutes. Please don’t be late. Have a great day.”
“Six a.m.?” I moaned as I tried to reach up to rub my eyes. Something was wrapped around my front, holding my arms in place. I gasped as I fought to sit up, but the thing held me securely against a warm body.
“What’s the hurry?” Luke asked. He was lying on his stomach beside me, smiling as he watched me.
“I can’t believe I fell asleep. What if someone finds out I’m gone?”
“You only got here three hours ago. Everyone probably thinks you got up early.”
“Well, what if one of your people came in here and saw us together?”
“I was awake. If someone tried coming in here, I would have pulled the blanket over you and told them to get out.”
“You were awake all night?”
“Maybe.” He leaned up on his elbow and tucked my torso under him to kiss me. “I like watching you sleep.”
“Aw.” I was tempted to stay there beside him all day, but I knew Headmaster would wait for every student before he made the announcement. I leaned up to kiss him quickly before I scooted away from him and tried to climb out of bed.
Luke grabbed my arm and pulled me back down. “Stay a little longer. They won’t miss you.”
“My headmaster will—and don’t you want to know if I’m leaving today or not?”
He groaned and sat up. “I guess so...Why don’t we head downstairs together? It went well yesterday.”
“No, it didn’t. Everyone hated me.”
Luke went to turn on a lamp that sat on his dresser as I reached out to retrieve my con, still hovering in front of me.
“Bane’s on our side, and he’s one of the top six on the Cinder food chain,” he said.
“I don’t want everyone to know I have a shadow suit, though, and I need to brush my teeth and my hair and my bag’s in my room and—”
“All right, I get it. Girls have more stuff to do in the morning. I’ll just see you in there.”
I nodded and looked over at the poster of him on the wall. “Where can I get one of those?”
“You want one?”
“Yeah, it’s the best picture of you I’ve ever seen. Almost as gorgeous as the real thing.”
He smiled and came to hold me close. “You’re my fairytale come true, you know that?”
I reached up to run my fingers through his hair. It was incredibly soft when the gel wasn’t holding it all together. “This whole thing is a fairytale come true, a happily ever after.”
“I love you.”
“I lo—”
Someone knocked on the door. I drew away from Luke and turned my arms, disappearing into the shadows as someone opened the door. Spinner walked in. “Hey, Knight. Headmaster wants everyone in the dining hall.”
Luke grabbed a glass full of pens from off the dresser and threw the whole thing at him. Spinner ducked behind the door as glass shattered everywhere. “Did I tell you to come in?!” Luke shouted.
“I thought you’d be asleep. Just come downstairs when you’re dressed.” Spinner left the door open and turned to leave.
Luke shouted, “Don’t ever do that again!” before he slammed it shut.
He turned around and searched the seemingly empty room. “Kristine?” he whispered.
I opened my mouth to answer, but decided against it. I knew I should leave, but I wanted to stay and watch him. I wanted to watch him when he was completely unaware. The way he was watching me when I broke up with Roman. The way he was watching me sleep only minutes before.
Luke swore under his breath as he ripped the blanket from his bed and kicked it underneath. He went on aggressively kicking against the floor and the bed for another minute before he slumped down on the mattress. He rubbed his face and scratched the back his head before resting his mouth against his fist and staring at the ground for another minute.
Then he leaned back to pull my shirt out from under his pillow and hold it up in front of him. “Why couldn’t he have let you finish saying you love me?” he asked. He balled it up and pressed it against his face to inhale deeply. Next he held it against his cheek. His eyes closed as he pulled it so tight between his fists I was sure the fabric would rip.
“I won’t let them take you away this time.” A tear rolled over his cheek as he stood up and went to open the bottom dresser door. He took out a small safe and began turning the knob back and forth.
Very slowly, I inched my way across the room to see what was inside. Luke opened the little door as I got just close enough to see an old picture of me, which also came up missing not long before my mother’s death, part of a picture of his mom, and stacks and stacks of hundred dollar bills.
My shirt was shoved into the safe and locked in before Luke put it back in the drawer and pulled out a pair of pants and a black wife-beater. I turned away and stared at the blank wall of stone as he changed. That wasn’t the sort of invasion of privacy I was there to make.
While I waited I thought about how he’d held onto my things all these years, obsessing over me, while I’d let him slip painfully away. If he could love me that way, when he had no reason to believe he would ever see me again, I could only imagine how he could love me now. I smiled as what he said the night before began to make sense. Here or at North Haven, he would love me the way he had for all those years, when the only part I played in his life was that of a memory. Still, I could hardly bear the thought of leaving him, but I knew he would always come for me. He would always love me, no matter what happened.
When I heard the door open I looked over as Luke walked through it, fully dressed with his hair firmly in place. I counted to twenty before I left his room, barely catching sight of him as he turned a corner in the hallway.
Then I ran back to the girls’ quarters, which was now empty. Not good. I got dressed, did my makeup and hair, and grabbed my bag before I ran for the door.
Remembering how sad Luke was that I didn’t get to finish what I was saying earlier, I decided to write him a note as I walked down the stairs and through the hallway. Taking my notebook from my bag, I scribbled down, “I love you, Luke Knight, now and forever,” before I tore the paper out and folded it twice.
Already, I had to fight back tears. I was so afraid of what Headmaster was about to say.
My cheeks burned when I walked into the dining hall. Everyone sat crammed into seats, silently staring at me. There was absolutely nowhere to sit, and I couldn’t give Luke the note with everyone watching.
But I didn’t want to wait, either. What if we were escorted right out of there to pack our bags and board the jets? Luckily, he was sitting at the edge of the second table, as usual. His black eyes flashed enticingly as he winked at me when I passed him and casually dropped the note, hoping he’d notice and catch on. I heard his heavy foot fall over it and knew it was safe with him.
Harmony scooted back in her seat and held an arm out for me when I reached her. I pressed my stomach against the table’s edge as I sat in her lap. “Where’ve you been?” she whispered.
“I got up early and went to find Luke. Connie gave me a hand.”
“Now that we’re all here,” Headmaster began from the other end of the room, confirming my fear that I was indeed the last person to get there, “my staff and I were up half the night, discussing your varied responses. We received a great many suggestions on how to best handle our current situation, many of which will be put into full force shortly. As far as the votes for whether or not we stay, it’s clear what North Haven prefers. An astounding ninety percent voted one way.” Headmaster paused to clear his throat.
I thought my heart would rip right out of my chest with how hard it was pounding. “Please, please, please,” I whispered.
“North Haven High School will be staying.” Immediately the room thundered and echoed with excited screaming.
My vision blurred as I was unable to keep from crying any longer. We were staying. I smiled and pressed my palms against my eyes, only picking up my head to look back when I felt Harmony leaning away.
Someone standing beside her was reaching out for me. He grabbed me under my arms and lifted me right up into the air. I squeezed away the tears and saw Luke as he set me down in front of him. Then he took me in his arms and dipped me back. Kids whistled and whooped and a few guys from the Cinder end of the hall shouted, “GO, KNI-EET,” as he kissed me with all that he had.
* * * *
It was on the way out of the dining hall that Nadine began acting strange. With the uncertainties of the day, all North Haven training and physical fitness was canceled. And the Cinders were being kept after breakfast by their headmaster. As we walked through the doors, she looked back and grabbed Sassy and me by the elbows, pulling us to the right.
“Where are you going?” I asked.
“Harmony,” she hissed, and nodded for her to come that way, too.
“Do you need to go to the hospital wing?” Harmony asked her.
“Sure.”
Harmony and I raised an eyebrow at each other, but followed her through the long corridor to the stairs leading up and down. Nadine went up one flight before she turned left and pressed herself against the wall beside the stairway.
She motioned for us to do the same behind her. So we lined up and waited. Nadine stared at the landing until we saw someone—a short, freckled kid. It was Henry Lancaster, the boy we’d discovered on Harmony’s con who’d been stalking me at North Haven.
As Nadine grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, he began squirming around. He was small enough he almost looked like a little kid, except for the peach fuzz forming above his lips and his squeaky just-hit-puberty voice. “Why are you following Kristine?” Nadine demanded.
With everything that had been going on with Luke, I’d completely forgotten about him.
“I’m not following her. Let me go.”
“You’ve been following her since we got here. Tell me why!”
“I don’t even know who Kristine is. I was going to get some aspirin, I swear.”
“Everyone knows who Kristine is—Don’t make me hurt you.”
“But you’re a Havener. You wouldn’t hurt anybody.”
“I would if it meant protecting one of my friends—Tell me!” She twisted the fabric in her hand tighter—until it began pressing against his neck.
“Nadine,” I said, wishing she would stop.
“Okay,” Henry said. “But don’t tell him I told you, all right?”
“Tell me first; then we can talk.”
Henry stared at me as he answered. “Roman asked me to follow you around. He said he’d get me on the Snow Riders next year if I did it.” Clearly, Roman was no ordinary jealous boyfriend.
“Why would he do that?” I asked him in alarm.
“It was driving him crazy not knowing where you were and who you were with since he has training all the time. I know it’s weird, but I want on that team. I’m not out to hurt you, Kristine. Just please don’t tell him I told you. He won’t let me on if he finds out.” He seemed pathetic with his broken, teenage voice.
“The Cinder Snow Riders would murder you,” Nadine said, letting him go.
“Why? Because I’m small? You and Coach Rolland are wrong. I’ll be the best Snow Rider North Haven’s ever seen. You’ll see.”
Henry turned away and ran down the stairs, leaving my three friends to stare at me.
“You should tell Headmaster,” Sassy said. “This whole Roman thing is way out of control.”
“I don’t know...” I kind of figured it would end on its own, since Roman and I had officially broken up. Going to Headmaster about it now seemed silly, like I was a tattletale.
“So, we’ve got a whole day free. What should we do with it?” Harmony said cheerfully, breaking the tension, because I think we were all feeling pretty uneasy after what Henry said.
“We could go outside and make snow angels and a snowman,” I said.
“Then we could come back in for hot cocoa and apple cider and go climb in Kristine’s bed so she can tell us everything about her new boyfriend,” Sassy said excitedly.
“Yeah,” Harmony said. “It looked pretty serious this morning. And now you’ll have plenty of time with him.”
“Thank goodness,” I said.
“He is your boyfriend, right?” Sassy asked, as we started down the stairs. “This isn’t another he thinks he’s your boyfriend when you really aren’t into him kind of thing?”
“Nope, this time he’s definitely my boyfriend, and I would love to tell you guys all about it.”
Nadine put her arm around me. “If Henry keeps following you, I’ll take care of him.”
“Thanks, Nadine.”
As we began down the hallway, I wondered...What if it was all Nadine? The attack on Rose. Knight’s snowmobile. She could have set it all up to give me a boost into the competition and to keep me away from a Cinder. She was the only one who still didn’t seem happy for me and Luke. And it kind of sounded like she’d offered to do something similar to Henry.
I quickly pushed the idea away and scolded myself for even thinking it. Nadine was one of my best friends in the whole world. She was wonderful, a little rough at times, but absolutely wonderful. She wouldn’t do something like that.
But the thought would still haunt me, I knew, just like the one about Coach Beckham still did.