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Jason stood in the center of the large concrete cavern, flashbeam in hand as Mu-Monk sat on his shoulder chattering softly in his ear. He circled around, trying to convince himself that this wasn't where he had been held as Seattle's prisoner, that Mu-Monk had made a mistake, but he knew he was kidding himself.
As the light fell on the far wall, Jason located the two eyelets that had held his chain. Walking over to where Seattle's private area had been cornered off, he could see markings on the floor where the poles had rested. Mu-Monk had retraced their steps perfectly. He should have considered the possibility that they would have abandoned the area after his escape. It made sense now. Seattle would not have jeopardized the safety of her children by staying.
"Damn!" Jason shouted to the walls, the word reverberating throughout the passages. The blue funk cloud of depression enveloped him again, this time ten times worse than it had back on the surface. She's gone. The bitch up and left without so much as a hint where she'd gone. How dare she plant these wildly insane ideas in his mind, then disappear without a trace?
He'd find her; that's all there was to it. And when he did, he would give her a piece of his mind for abandoning him like this. But even as he had the thought, he knew how futile such a search would be. The Pipes were a nearly endless system that covered hundreds of square miles made up of passages, caves and tunnels. As far as he knew, they had never been mapped, or if they had, there was no telling where those maps were kept. Trying to find a small band of children in such a maze would be a ridiculously impossible task.
Jason's shoulders slumped as he realized there was nothing he could do. Life didn't matter; it is the way it is. As the thought reverberated through his mind, Jason cursed the level of resignation it represented. There must be something he could do, he argued with himself. He couldn't just give up like this, go back to his normal boring existence. Life might not matter to anyone else on this God-forsaken planet, but it sure as hell mattered to him.
"So, shut up about it not mattering. It matters to me!" he shouted to the walls of the cave. "Matters to me...to me...to me...” echoed back at him.
––––––––
JASON RETURNED TO HIS apartment, and after spending two days cleaning it, he decided to visit Casey's again. He had no idea whether he would be allowed back or not, but in the past, Casey had forgiven him when Jason had gone off on similar Blitzes, although none had been as long or as intense as this last one. Still, Jason was a large draw for Casey's since many people came to either watch the master gambler or, in some cases, to try their hand against him. Most of them left leaving much of their savings behind in Casey's coffers.
Casey welcomed him with open arms as soon as he realized that Jason was neither drunk nor flying high on drugs. Jason's seat at his favorite rumbuc table awaited him with a reserved sign on it. He sat down and within a few minutes was deeply engrossed in the game as though he had never left, never been kidnapped, never gone on a five-week Blitz and never read that damn book.
But it didn't last. Within a couple of days, Jason found he spent less and less time gambling and more time sitting at the bar, a glass of club soda with lime in front of him, talking to the other patrons. The questions started slowly, just one or two at first, usually deftly inserted into some conversation about gambling or drinking. He found he would be talking about a favorite hand of rumbuc, when suddenly he'd stop, look at the person sitting next to him and ask, "Have you ever stopped to wonder what's on the other side of the clouds?"
Most people would stare at him with a bewildered look on their face before answering with a simple, "No," before asking him to continue with his story. A few would pause for a moment, as though considering the question, before replying, "No, but let me tell you about a rumbuc hand I had last week."
During this time, Jason drank only club soda, preferring to keep his mind as clear as possible. Upon arriving home, he found himself staring at the ceiling, wondering what life on another planet might be like. Over the next week, he read the book three more times. He found himself reading it constantly, three or four pages at a sitting, then gazing off into space wondering about what it would be like to live in such a world.
On one of his frequent visits to Casey's, he was intercepted by Celeste, his Guardian Angel from the Universal Life Church. The young woman stuck out her praying bowl and smiled.
"Where you been?" Jason asked as he reached into his pocket for a few chips.
"I might ask you the same question," Celeste replied. "When you disappeared a few weeks ago, they put me on assignment with someone else whose Guardian Angel had come down sick. I heard reports that you were back at Casey's, so I asked to be reassigned."
Jason dropped several chips into her bowl. "Rather than a blessing, I'd like your response to a question."
"Sure, I can do that," Celeste replied as she jingled the chips in her bowl before scooping them up and placing them in her pocket.
"What do you think is on the other side of the clouds?" Jason asked with a straight face.
The question seemed to throw the young woman off for a moment. Jason studied her face carefully. They stared at each other for a long moment before she smiled and answered in a soft voice, "Why, God, of course, in all His glory."
Surprised by the answer and at someone actually taking the question seriously, Jason reached into his pocket and pulled out several more chips, this time of the life-chip kind. He dropped them into her bowl.
"Good answer," he replied.
Celeste smiled back at him. "Good question," then slipped back into the shadows.
As the days passed, Jason began to notice people avoiding him especially if he wasn't sitting at a rumbuc table. Suddenly, no one seemed to have time to sit down and just talk. Finally, after three of four days of such treatment, Emerald Eyes motioned to him to join her at the bar.
"Hi, Jason. How's life?" Emerald Eyes greeted him in a warm voice but with a look of concern on her face.
"It's an interesting question you pose there, Emerald Eyes," Jason started, but stopped when she placed her hands in front of her face.
"Stop, Jason. I wasn't posing any question. I was just greeting you. I need to talk to you about something, as a friend. Okay?"
Jason nodded. "Sure. What is it?"
Emerald Eyes suddenly appeared uncomfortable, as though unsure how to begin. Finally she said, "Well Jason, I was just wondering if you feel okay these days."
Jason nodded a second time. "Yeah, I suppose so. Why do you ask?"
Emerald Eyes hesitated again before answering. "Well, it's just that I've been hearing rumors that you aren't gambling much these days, and well...people have been noticing you've been asking some pretty strange questions.
"Oh, people are concerned about the questions I've been asking. I find that interesting as well. Why should anyone care what kind of questions I ask?"
"It's not so much that anyone cares about the questions, it's just that...well, the questions are so strange. People wonder, that's all."
"Wonder what?" Jason asked, noticing his irritation mounting from the conversation. "As far as I can tell, the problem is that people don't wonder. They don't wonder about anything, at least nothing of any significance. They're just like little automatons. Good little citizens or bad little citizens, but no one is questioning anything, except maybe my sanity, merely because I'm asking a few questions that a lot more people should be asking."
"Not so loud," Emerald Eyes warned, looking nervously around. "You're drawing attention to yourself."
"So what?" Jason yelled as he stood up, kicking the chair away as he did and drawing all eyes to him. "No one seems to mind if I draw attention to myself at the rumbuc table or at the Sucker's Wheel. That's okay, just don't ask questions. Don't wonder about whether life matters or not. Don't speculate about what might be possible. Be a good citizen. Well, no thank you. What you may be noticing that you're describing as strange is what I would call awakening. I'm awake, maybe for the first time in my life, and I'll be damned if I'll simply fall back asleep. Something is going on in this world. We're all being conned, and most don't even realize it. It's time we woke the fuck up."
Jason stopped to catch his breath. He continued to stare at Emerald Eyes, but he noticed out of the corner of his eyes people moving away from him, as though he had some contagious disease, and being too close to him would expose them to it. He supposed the analogy wasn't far off. He did have a disease, one that was eating his insides out. A disease that was dissolving years of resignation. But unlike most diseases that killed or shortened life, this disease did the opposite; it gave life.
Emerald Eyes stood up and took a couple steps towards him, encircling him in her arms. As she hugged him, she whispered in his ear. "Just be careful, darling. The Patriarch has big ears and a firm hand against his children who misbehave.
She kissed him on the cheek before turning to walk away, leaving Jason to finish his drink alone.
The next morning the bleeping of his message board awoke him. Most messages that came into the system were simply held for him to check at his convenience. Only the most important ones would trigger the audio notice. Jason climbed out of bed and walked over to the computer console.
"What's the message?" he asked into the microphone. The beeping stopped, and the message appeared on the screen:
Your presence is requested in room 1414, Government Plaza Building 3A, today at 11 a.m. to speak to Senior Security Director, Isaac Romanof. Failure to comply will initiate an immediate warrant for your arrest.
Jason pressed the delete button. Interesting, he thought as he walked into the auto wash. Apparently what Emerald Eyes had said was true. His questions were touching some sensitive chords. Life was suddenly becoming interesting again.