I had just arrived at work when Berthe, DeJ’s secretary, told me the Great Psychiatrist wanted to see me in his office.
‘Why are you glaring at me?’ I asked.
‘You’ll find out soon enough.’
‘Am I in trouble?’
She sniffed.
‘I’ll put on my uniform, then come down.’
‘I wouldn’t bother with the uniform,’ she said, turning her back and stalking off.
Berthe and I had never gotten along. She had worked at the clinic for many years, was in charge of the office when I first arrived. I found out later she’d had an affair with DeJ, one of many as he worked his way through the administrative and nursing staffs. She hated all the women DeJ slept with after he was finished with her, and we all hated her as well. Still, we all put on false fronts and pretended to get along. Today she didn’t bother to conceal her pleasure that DeJ was displeased and I was about to be subjected to one of his tongue-lashings.
All right, I thought, if he’s going to bawl me out, I might as well go to his office and get it over with.
‘What is this about Agnès meeting a visitor?’ he demanded, the moment I appeared at his door. His face was red. I could see he was furious. Somehow he’d found out about our meeting with Penny in Meilen.
There was no point denying it. ‘She met an old friend at the café there.’
‘So your little motorboat jaunt was a pretext.’
‘It was you who suggested it.’
He ignored that. ‘This meeting was prearranged?’
‘It was perfectly innocent, Herr Doktor. I wanted to help her. Johnny did, too. I didn’t see the harm.’
‘You didn’t tell me!’ His fury was mounting. Droplets of spittle were shooting out of his mouth.
‘As I said, it was innocent. I didn’t think you’d mind. It was up to Agnès to tell you if she wanted to. I didn’t think she needed permission—’
‘I’ve discussed this with Agnès. She tells me she didn’t know about the meeting before you arrived in Meilen. Someone got to you, didn’t they? I want to know who and what you’ve been up to behind my back.’
‘There was an American couple. They were tracking the Ragdoll Artist.’
He glared at me. ‘And you didn’t think you were obligated to report this?’
‘It wasn’t about clinic business. I did what I thought was best for the patient.’
‘You don’t make those kinds of decisions. That’s not your role. You betrayed me and you betrayed the clinic. You acted unprofessionally and, worse, betrayed one of our most troubled patients. I’m terminating you. You have one hour to pack up your stuff and get out. And don’t expect a recommendation. If anyone asks, I won’t hesitate to say I sacked you for dishonesty.’
We stared at one another for a full twenty seconds. I could see him savoring my distress.
‘I’d like to say goodbye to my patients.’
‘I forbid it.’
I moved closer to him, got right in his face. ‘How dare you deny me that!’
‘I’m in charge here. I make the rules.’
I stared into his eyes. ‘I’ve known for a long time that you’re a cruel, controlling man. Everyone on the lake knows about your affairs with staff. Some even know you’ve been selling Agnès’s dolls on the sly to a gallery in Lucerne, no doubt pocketing the money for yourself. Maybe the canton police would like to hear about that. Maybe family members who pay enormous fees to maintain their relatives here will be hearing about it too. Not to mention your dismissal from the Jung Institute for unwelcome touching and gross improprieties. Oh, yes! And your dispensing of unauthorized compounded drugs. Should I go on?’
He looked stricken. ‘What exactly do you want, Thérèse?’
‘Permission to say goodbye to my patients and a favorable letter of recommendation. I have no wish to destroy your reputation, Herr Doktor, and I expect you to refrain from harming mine.’
He nodded, retreated to the window and stared out at the lake. That was it. There was nothing more to be said. I gathered my things, then went around the clinic saying my goodbyes, wishing everyone well. Johnny wept when I told him I was leaving. We sobbed together as I held him in my arms.
When I told Agnès, she shook her head. ‘I know why you’re going,’ she said. ‘You did a special thing for me and I’m very grateful to you for it. I had to tell Doctor DeJ. He threatened to take away my art materials if I didn’t.’ She paused. ‘I’ll miss you terribly, Thérèse,’ she whispered as she hugged me close.
I found out later from Hannah that Agnès’s brothers heard about the meeting, phoned DeJ in a rage, demanded that Agnès not be permitted any further meetings with anyone, and that any dolls she made in the future were not to appear on the market, or they’d yank her out of his clinic and install her someplace else.
The following week I was hired to work at the Canton Psychiatric Clinic in Zurich. I was happy to begin a new phase of my life.
I still go back on occasional Saturday evenings to see my old friends at Schwarze Katzenbar. We laugh and sing and they pass on tidbits of gossip about the goings-on at the clinic, and, amidst much mutual laughter, I commiserate with them for still having to work in such a hellhole.
I still think often of Johnny and Agnès.