Julian stepped into the doorway of Aida’s room as she lifted a sweater. Tilting her head, she examined it before folding it and placing it in her suitcase. With her back to him, she didn’t realize he was there, so he took the time to appreciate the slender curve of her back and the black hair falling to her waist in curls.
The sunlight streaming through the windows emphasized her ivory skin and curvaceous figure. With her heart-shaped face, she was a striking mix of beauty and innocence. Her fine-boned, delicate hands lifted a pair of jeans from the stack on the twin-sized bed and set them neatly in the suitcase.
She was beautiful, and she was his, she just didn’t know it, and he didn’t know how to tell her. As he watched her pack, he didn’t know if he could ever tell her.
She was leaving this world of vampires she’d been brutally tossed into and going back to her human world. For the past week, she’d talked endlessly about what college would be like, what she planned to do, and how she couldn’t wait to return to normal.
He loved seeing her so happy when she’d had such little happiness since her kidnapping and captivity on the island, but he didn’t know how to let her go. He’d just found her. They’d only had a couple of months together, and he craved an eternity with her.
He couldn’t ask that of her, not when she still bore the scars of what those bastards on the island did to her and not when her nightmares propelled her from bed almost every night. The idea of losing her made him want to tear everyone and everything in his path apart, but the idea of making her unhappy stopped all his destructive impulses.
She was his, and that meant he would do everything in his power to ensure her happiness, even if it destroyed him.
Unable to look at her anymore, he stared at the bare walls. There was something so un-teenager about the barren walls, and it had been like this before she started packing. The only personal thing she had in the room was a framed photo of her, Mollie, and their mom standing on a beach. Aida looked about fourteen or fifteen in the picture, Mollie was maybe twenty, and their mother wore a bandanna around her head.
Their mother died of breast cancer when she was sixteen, and this was their last family photo together. Aida told him it was from the week they took their mom to Cape Cod to walk the beaches, explore the shops, and stuff themselves on seafood. It was the last summer their mother saw.
When Aida told him this story, she had tears in her eyes as she gazed at the picture, but love made her face glow. He’d draped his arm around her shoulders, and she leaned into him in the way she often did.
He was aware she saw him as more of a friend or brother-like companion. He was happy to be what she needed because, after the island, she needed someone to lean on, and he would be there for her.
Aida didn’t turn to look at Julian, but she knew he was behind her. She hadn’t heard him approach, but the subtle smell of allspice gave him away. Smiling, she folded another sweater and placed it in the suitcase before glancing over her shoulder.
Tall and gangly, he leaned against the door as he watched her pack her suitcase for the thousandth time. For the past week, she’d packed and unpacked as she examined her selection of clothes and accessories over and over again.
She was an East Coast girl; outside of movies and Google, she had no idea what living in Arizona would entail, but she couldn’t wait to find out. When Mollie caught her going through her things for the five hundredth time, she reminded her that she could always buy things later, but Aida couldn’t stop herself from going over the contents multiple times a day.
It was anxiety more than anything. Before the island, she never dealt with anxiety, but it was a constant companion now. She was going back into a world that hadn’t treated her so kindly. Her chances of being kidnapped and hunted for sport by vamps again were pretty slim, but she was returning to the mortal world armed with the knowledge of the immortal one.
Things would never be the same for her again. She loved the Byrnes and that Mollie and Mike were so happy and in love with each other, but she was scared to resume life in a world where vampires existed, and she couldn’t tell if someone was one or not.
If one came after her again, they’d have a rude awakening, as she’d spent a fair amount of her summer learning self-defense from Julian. She’d also packed some pepper spray and knew how to use a weapon against a vamp. She would not go down without a fight.
When Julian shifted and rested his hand against the frame, her eyes were drawn to the muscles in his biceps. Younger than most of his brothers, he wasn’t as thickly muscled as them, but she suspected that would change in a few years.
She wasn’t sure if he was still growing or not; if he was, he would stop soon, and the rest of his body would catch up to his large hands and too big feet. His thin frame would fill out more, and he would start to look more like a man than a boy. Already, the scruff shadowing his jaw was getting thicker.
From their time spent walking the woods, fishing, swimming, and drifting on rafts, the sun had bronzed his skin. Mike said Julian used to spend most of his time with his computers, and he still did spend some time with them, but he also enjoyed being outside with her.
And she needed to be outside. After her captivity, it was difficult to be indoors for long periods. She didn’t know how she would deal with that and her nightmares in Arizona—more things to heap onto her growing anxiety—but she would figure it out because she had to go, even if it meant leaving everyone she cared about behind, including Julian.
She tried not to think about it; otherwise, she might stay. So she focused on the way the sunlight brought out the lapis blue color of his eyes and the coal blackness of his hair. Boyish in so many ways, sometimes it was easy to forget he was technically a man, but he was eighteen like her.
However, whereas she was leaving for college in the morning, he would remain with his family, and she was going to miss him so much. They’d spent a lot of time together since her rescue from the island, and he’d become her best friend, which was something she never had before. She didn’t count Mollie; her sister was family, and they would do anything for each other, but she’d never had close friends outside of her family, until Julian.
She always had plenty of friends, but they were all in the same social circles, the popular girls. Some of them were great people, but some of the others were like sharks searching for the first sign of weakness. And when they saw the first drop of blood, they attacked.
They pretended to like her, but behind her back, they gossiped about her. She knew that, because whenever one of the other girls in their group turned their back, they talked about her too.
She wished she could say she wasn’t one of them, but that was a lie. She’d been as eager to hear about the latest downfall, who was doing who, and cheating on who, and fighting with who.
She’d oohed and ahhed and giggled behind her hand, all while thinking, please don’t let me be next. But she was no longer that silly, stupid teenager who watched her mom die, never really known her father, and had no idea what she was doing with her life.
Her time being held captive on an island and fed on by vampires changed her. She was never purposely cruel, but she’d been selfish. She could chalk it up to the fact most teens were selfish, but she knew the truth. She’d been afraid to go against the others, to stand out, to be different, because they would turn against her.
While there were times she missed high school, she didn’t miss the minefield of high school politics or any of the girls she once considered her friends. She hadn’t reached out to any of them since coming to live with the Byrnes. And she wasn’t going to contact them when she left here either.
Before her time on the island, she was going to attend college in Rhode Island, but plans changed. Some of the people she went to high school with were also going to the same college. Not wanting to run into any of them and have to come up with a reason why she never showed up for graduation or where she and Mollie abruptly moved to, she decided to attend college elsewhere.
Thanks to Julian’s talent with a computer, her new college was in Arizona, and she was excited to go somewhere else and explore something new. Mollie was not thrilled she was going so far away, but she was happy for her.
If Aida didn’t leave now, she might never leave, and though she’d never made a decision about her plans for when she grew up, she wanted to experience life and not become a hermit. Her knowledge of the supernatural and what she might encounter out there again petrified her, but she would not let fear rule her.
“What’s up, J man?” she asked.
“I came to see what you were doing,” he said.
“Packing.” She waved a hand at her suitcase and the small pile of clothes beside it. “Want to help?”
He covered the ten feet of space separating them in three strides. At six foot two, he was nine inches taller than her, and she tipped her head back to look at him. He smiled down at her, but she’d never seen the sadness in his eyes before.
“Are you still looking forward to leaving?” Julian asked.
“Yes, and I’m a little scared.” She’d never admit that to anyone else, but he was so easy to talk to, and he understood her.
“Of what?” he asked.
“Of… everything,” she admitted on a breath. “I always knew the world was big, but I didn’t realize how big until the island.”
Julian ignored the burning need tearing through him when he rested his hand over hers. “You don’t have to go.”
“Yes, I do. If I stay locked away here, I’ll never get the chance to experience all the things I’ve always dreamed about.”
“You could wait and go in the winter or next year when you’re feeling more confident about it.”
“If I don’t go now, I never will.”
He understood, but he’d hoped she would stay a little longer. It might only make it worse for him if she did, but he would give anything for more time with her.
“I’m being stupid,” she said as she moved her hand away from his and placed the jeans neatly in her suitcase. “I didn’t sleep well last night.”
“More nightmares?”
He hated the forlorn look in her eyes, the quiver in her lower lip, and the way her golden-brown eyes darted away from him. Those eyes, more gold than brown, were the most beautiful eyes he’d ever seen.
“Yes,” she whispered.
“I didn’t see you go outside.”
Somehow, he always knew when she woke from her nightmares and fled her house. She’d never been alone on the nights when she roamed the property in search of some way to escape her past. She couldn’t escape, of course, but having Julian by her side made her feel safer.
“This is my third time repacking since 2:00 a.m. I don’t know what I’m going to do if I have a nightmare at college and I don’t have things to pack or you to walk with.”
“Study,” he suggested.
She laughed. “I’m eager to go back to school, but I doubt I’ll do much studying.”
She liked learning, but studying had never been her strong suit. She was more of a just wing it kind of girl, and as long as she passed, she didn’t care about her grades. Her GPA didn’t matter if she had a diploma in hand.
“Who knows, maybe once I’m away from here, the nightmares will stop,” she said.
“Why do you think that?”
She gave a small, sad laugh. “It’s impossible to forget being tortured by vampires while surrounded by them.”
Her words plunged a knife into his chest. “No one here would ever hurt you.”
“I know, but I also know you’re all vampires. It’s a double-edged sword. I care for all of you, and I love Mollie, but being around vampires is a constant reminder of what happened to me. Maybe being surrounded by humans again will make the nightmares stop. I want a normal human life again.”
“Aida,” he breathed and couldn’t resist brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. When she looked to him again, the misery in her eyes was like a punch to his gut. “I’m sure it will.”
He suspected they both knew he lied. She was eager to get on with her life and move forward, and he couldn’t blame her. She was young and beautiful, and there was so much out there for her to see and experience, but no matter how far she went, she would never escape what those assholes did to her.
“I’m going to miss everyone,” she said. “But I’m looking forward to starting new and being around people who have no idea about vampires.”
And one of those people might become the husband who gave her the normal life she sought. His jaw clenched as jealousy and anger churned like lava in his belly. He’d considered following her to Arizona, staying in the shadows, and making sure she stayed safe.
It would make him a full-on stalker if he did, but he’d be okay with that if she were safe. However, he didn’t know how he would react to seeing her with another man. If she fell in love with someone else, he might not be able to keep himself under control, and if he killed someone she loved, it would destroy her. And he could never do that to her.
No, he had to let her go live her life and her dreams. Vampires had already taken so much from her; he would not steal more. He’d planned to give her time to live her life before broaching the subject of being mates with her.
They tortured her on that island, and she was desperate to live as a human again. And he wanted to turn her into one of the things that gave her nightmares every night. She deserved better; she deserved the life she dreamed of, and that life didn’t include him.
“I should go.”
He went to turn away, but her hand on his arm stopped him. “I don’t mean anything bad by it. I’m going to miss everyone, especially you. Will you come and visit me?”
He stared at the hand on his arm as he resisted sliding his fingers through hers and drawing her into his arms.
“I don’t think so,” he said. When her face fell, he decided to try and tease a smile from her. “Arizona isn’t exactly the place for me. That’s a lot of daylight for a vamp.”
He succeeded in getting her to smile, but he sensed her sadness when she spoke. “The sun doesn’t bother you.”
“True, but you’ll be busy with the many new friends you’re going to make.”
“Not so busy I won’t have time for my old friends.”
She felt almost desperate to have him say yes, he would visit her, but she didn’t understand why. Even with all her apprehension about what was to come, she was still more excited to leave tomorrow than she’d been about anything since her mom died.
Still, the idea of not seeing Julian for weeks or months at a time made her eyes burn with tears. He was her best friend, and she was going to miss him so much when she left here. She wouldn’t have gotten through the past couple of months without him.
He’d sat beside her in the woods when she cried after one of her nightmares or when she couldn’t get her shit together. He never pressured her into revealing what happened to her while she was on the island, but he listened the few times she let it slip about how horrible it was to be the food supply for a bunch of monsters.
Thinking about it made her recall the smell, sounds, and terror filling the basement that was her prison. For the rest of her life, she would hear the whimpers of those who were imprisoned with her. She’d never forget shoving her fist in her mouth to suppress her sobs while she tried to find some hope in her hopeless situation.
She’d lay there, curled into the fetal position on her mattress, and pray Mollie would somehow get out of this mess. The worst part, for her, was not the captivity and not the torture of having those vamps draining her blood against her will; it was the not knowing where Mollie was and what happened to her.
Had they killed her sister? Why had they separated them? She’d clung to the hope she would somehow know if Mollie were dead, but the doubts constantly crept into her mind and nearly drove her insane.
She’d escaped the basement, but a piece of her soul remained trapped there forever. And somehow Julian made her better able to handle that.
Her hand tightened on his arm as she became almost frantic not to lose him. “They have a good computer program. You could always enroll and join me.”
He chuckled as he rested his hand over hers. Warmth seeped through her fingers and down her arm as the welcoming comfort he always brought washed through her.
“Tempting, but college isn’t for me,” he said.
He couldn’t picture possibly watching Aida flirt or date another without killing someone. He wasn’t a fully matured vampire yet, but he knew what his weakness would be once he stopped aging.
Her head spun, and she tried to think of a response. He didn't agree to visit her, and she couldn’t shake the feeling something was wrong. Why wouldn’t he visit?
Before he could see her melancholy, she turned to stare out the window. Hope and Dylan were laughing as they ran around on the grass. They laughed as Hope’s puppy, Dawg, chased after them.
Sensing her hurt, Julian clasped her chin and turned her head toward him. Her long black lashes fell to shadow her cheek before she opened her eyes again. Confusion emanated from her golden gaze as it ran over his face.
Before she could say anything, he bent his head and claimed her mouth in a tender kiss. The second his lips met hers, a sense of rightness stole through him. When he first saw her, he’d known she was special. She was the first girl he wanted to spend more than ten minutes with, and the first one who made him feel alive.
He’d pictured kissing her more times than he could recall, but none of those imaginings came close to the real thing. His heart raced as everything inside him became focused on her and the peace she brought him. He’d never felt anything as right as Aida.
Kissing her showed him exactly what he was losing by letting her go, but this moment would carry him through the dark days that would follow this one.
At first, Aida was so shocked she couldn’t react, and then, when his lips softened against hers and she felt his tongue, she melted into him. For the first time in months, she forgot about the island, forgot about the scars marring her body and soul, and focused on Julian and the joy he brought to her life.
The scent of him, the heat of his body against hers, and his arms enveloping her became the center of her world. Releasing her chin, he slid his hand up her back and through her hair to clasp the back of her head. She draped her arms around his neck and drew him closer as the kiss deepened.
Nestled within his embrace, she forgot all about her fear of the past and the future as he made her feel safer than she ever had before. She didn’t know how long they stood with their arms around each other while they shut out the rest of the world. It could have been hours or minutes, but it wasn’t enough time.
Julian broke the kiss and released her when a footfall sounded in the hall. He hastily stepped away from her a second before Mollie appeared in the doorway. Her sister grinned at them, but her smile fell away when she took in Aida’s open mouth.
“Everything okay?” she asked.
“Oh, ah… yeah,” Aida muttered and tossed a pair of socks into the suitcase. “Just rearranging again.”
“Again?” Mollie asked.
“I’m making sure everything is all set.”
“I think you made sure the first two hundred times. Now, it’s an obsession.” Mollie tempered her words with a kind smile. “Would you like some help?”
“No. I’ll be down in a few minutes.”
Mollie tore her gaze away from the suitcase to glance between her and Julian again. He focused on the far wall as he willed her to go away while trying to control the riotous beat of his heart.
“I’m going to miss you, kiddo,” Mollie said.
Aida forced a smile; she knew how difficult this was for Mollie, and she would desperately miss her sister, but she wished Mollie would go away.
“I’m going to miss you too. I’ll be downstairs soon,” Aida promised.
“Okay, okay.” Mollie held up her hands as she backed out of the room. “I can take a hint. I’ll see you downstairs.”
She waved to Julian before walking away. Aida opened her mouth to say… Well, she had no idea what to say. What could she possibly say after that kiss? She’d spent the past couple of months in a fog, and she’d never seen it coming. She always knew when a boy was interested and worked her magic over them, but flirting or teasing her way through this was not going to work.
Not after that kiss.
It took everything she had not to lift her hand to her mouth. She’d been kissed dozens of times over the years, been felt up, and rounded third base, but none of those experiences affected her as profoundly as that single kiss.
Julian wasn’t like the boys in her past who she’d wrapped around her finger with a smile and a touch on their arm. He wasn’t going to trip over himself to do what she asked in the hopes of getting laid. He was a vampire, but more, he was her friend. She couldn’t lose him, and she was so scared if she said or did the wrong thing right now, she would.
Uncertain of how to stop that from happening, she found her tongue glued to the roof of her mouth while she stared at him.
“I should go,” Julian said when the awkward silence stretched on.
She almost shouted no when she lurched forward to grasp his wrist. She opened her mouth to speak, but that glue still had her tongue rooted like a tree. She’d never lacked for confidence, never been tripped up by a boy, and she’d never had words fail her, but he’d rocked her world.
Was he trying to be more than a friend? Was the kiss an experiment? What did he want from her?
She should be asking him these questions, but all she managed was an inarticulate noise.
“It’s okay,” he assured her.
He couldn’t stand the confusion and uncertainty in her eyes as they ran over his face. The kiss was his goodbye to her, and he wasn’t expecting anything from her. She deserved to live every one of her dreams, and he would not stand in her way.
He clasped her face in his palms and kissed her forehead. “Have a safe trip, Aida. Enjoy yourself and live your dreams.”
He was sentencing himself to a life of loneliness and probably death by walking away, but he wouldn’t put his burdens on her.
“Goodbye,” he said.
Before she could unglue her tongue, he left the room. Stunned into immobility, Aida tried to call him back, but what would happen then? She was leaving tomorrow. She couldn’t stay here, and he didn’t want to come with her. Besides, what would they do, become a couple? And what if things didn’t work out between them and she lost him?
Tears burned her eyes; she couldn’t stand losing him. He meant so much to her. But what if things did work out? Would she become a vampire? Did he think she was his mate? Or was this his goodbye?
Again, these were all questions she should have asked him when he was still here, but only now was her tongue starting to work again. She took a step to follow him but froze when she recalled her half-packed suitcase.
Damn it! She had a feeling this discussion might take a little time, and she couldn’t leave her things unpacked. Turning back, she took the stuff she’d neatly stacked within before and started tossing them inside.
She had no idea what she’d say to him, but she couldn’t leave things like this between them. When she finished shoving her things inside, she had to sit on her suitcase to shut it. It closed perfectly before, but now she was sweating and cursing by the time she got the zipper all the way around.
A sense of urgency filled her as she finally got it closed and rushed downstairs, only to be waylaid by Mollie and a stack of pancakes. Aida’s single-minded determination to find Julian eased when she realized the source of the delicious aroma filling the house.
“Remember when we used to do pancake Sundays with Mom?” Mollie asked as she waved the plate under Aida’s nose.
Her stomach rumbled in response, and though her gaze went longingly toward the door, she couldn’t bolt out of here and leave Mollie behind. Not when her sister had that hopeful look on her face while Mike stood behind her mouthing, “I’m sorry,” to Aida.
Aida smiled at him as she pulled out a chair. “It’s not as much fun when it’s just me eating them.”
Mollie set down another plate and sat across from her. “I’m joining you.”
“You’re eating pancakes?”
Mollie grinned at her as she shoved a forkful into her mouth. “I did consider using blood instead of maple syrup, but I’ll make do.”
“Gross,” Aida told her, and Mollie laughed.
She glanced at the door again but dug into her breakfast as Mike joined them. Aida smiled while she listened to Mollie prattle on about their flight tomorrow. She’d tried to convince her sister she didn’t have to go all the way to Arizona with her, but Mollie insisted on seeing the college, and Mike was along for the ride. Mollie also insisted on making sure Aida was settled and comfortable staying before they left.
Every time she caught Mike’s eye, he would mouth, “I’m sorry,” to her.
On the third time, Mollie caught him and kicked him under the table. “Ow,” he said as he rubbed his shin and grinned at her.
Aida laughed and choked, causing pancake to shoot out of her mouth. It was an unusual family, but it was hers, and she loved everything about it. Mike made Mollie happier than Aida had ever seen her. He was a wonderful guy, and he loved her too, just as she loved him.
She got caught up in the kitchen for longer than she anticipated, and by the time she left, it was almost noon. She searched the property for Julian but couldn’t find him anywhere, and no one knew where he’d gone.
Settling in at their favorite place, she leaned against the large boulder on the shoreline and watched the waves rolling across the shore while she waited for him to return.
He never did.