She gripped the pink sink as she leaned closer to the mirror. She felt like Julian had pulled her open and exposed her soul as well as every bit of the suffering she endured throughout her life. She wanted to scream at him to get out and leave her alone, and yet she yearned to feel his arms around her again.
For a moment, he’d shut out the rest of the world and allowed her to forget her past. If it hadn’t been for his fangs, she wouldn’t have stopped what was happening between them. However, it was their unexpected presence that propelled her into the past more than their existence. She knew not all vampires were evil, and that, if the person was willing, a vampire’s bite wasn’t painful.
Her hands trembled as she turned the water on and splashed her face. Inhaling deep breaths, she worked to get herself under control as she dried her face and inspected herself in the mirror again. The avocado tiling of the bathroom didn’t help the sallow tone of her skin, but at least she wasn’t trembling anymore.
Stepping away from the sink, she opened the bathroom door and glanced up and down the hall. She hadn’t heard Julian walk by and suspected he was still in her room. She didn’t know if she could face him again, but she didn’t have a choice.
She returned to her room to find him sitting on the edge of her bed with his hands clasped together, his elbows on his knees, and his head bent so his black hair fell forward. When he lifted his head to look at her, the torment in his eyes stole her breath.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
Aida wanted to tell him it was okay, but she wasn’t in the mood to forgive him; she was feeling bitchy and tired and sick of it all, but she wanted to hug him. However, she couldn’t do that; she had to protect her heart.
“I never meant to hurt you,” he said. “And I will prove to you that you can feel safe with me again.”
Aida gazed at the photo on the wall behind him. It was a picture of Mollie and Mike on the beach. She had her arm looped through his while her head rested against his shoulder. They’d known Aida was there, but they were so caught up in each other, they hadn’t realized she was taking their picture.
The photo captured their absolute love and trust in each other. It was one of Aida’s favorites and never failed to make her smile, but now it also made her heart ache. She wanted what they had, but her ability to trust had been severely damaged over the years, and she wasn’t sure she could repair it.
“Don’t worry about it,” she said with a dismissive wave. “I shouldn’t have hit you.”
Julian rubbed his jaw and smiled at her. “You have a good right hook.”
She didn’t smile back as her gaze remained locked on something over his shoulder. His smile faded. “I lost control; it won’t happen again,” he promised.
Aida didn’t know if he meant he would never lose control or would never kiss her again, and she didn’t have the energy to ask him to clarify.
“I would never do anything you don’t want me to do. I’m not like those vampires on the island,” he said.
“I know.”
She really wished he’d stop talking about this, but he seemed determined to continue.
“I would never allow anything like that to happen to you again,” he vowed.
Her freshly reawakened memories, exhaustion, and shock at having him back in her life were like lava building inside a volcano before it blew, and those words were her final straw.
“You haven’t been here. Those vamps kidnapped Mollie and me in less than a minute. Some other asshole vampire could have taken me again, and I would have been dead days before you got the news.”
Words failed him as guilt tore at his insides. She was right; he’d been convinced he was the one she needed protection from that he hadn’t considered she might run into danger again. He’d known Mollie and Mike would do everything they could to keep her safe, and he’d counted on that, but she’d been in Arizona, and they were in Maine.
Still, there hadn’t been any other choice.
“What was I going to do? Become your stalker in Arizona?” he asked. “Was I supposed to live in the shadows and watch over you while you made friends and dated other men?”
“I never asked you to live in the shadows; I never asked you for anything. You can’t sit here telling me you would never let anything like that happen to me again when you haven’t spoken to me in over four years. You can’t walk in here and tell me you want to be with me when you walked away without so much as a goodbye. You broke…”
She bit her lip to hold back her last two words—my heart. But he didn’t have to know that. “You broke my trust,” she finished.
Julian tugged at his hair as he smothered his urge to pummel something. Or better, to tear the throat out of something. Aida could calm the beast within him, but she could also set it off more than anyone else could.
“It will never happen again,” he told her.
“I’m sure my father said the same thing more than a time or two before he stopped pretending and left.”
He winced at the comparison to her father. “Unlike your father, I’m going to prove you can trust me again.”
Aida crossed her arms over her chest as she tapped her foot. “We’ll see.”
Unsure of what else to say, Julian glanced around her room. It was the first time he’d really taken notice of the small room with the scarred wooden bureau across the way and the photographs hanging on the pale lavender walls. Almost half the photos were black and white, and he couldn’t decide if they were more eye-catching than the color ones.
Most of the pictures were of places around the city. He recognized the Common and the Make Way for Ducklings statues. There were park benches, a photo of the Prudential building, and one of the harbor.
Some of the photos were of strangers sitting on benches and staring off into the distance. One was a woman gazing at her daughter with so much love Julian could feel it. A photo of the moon rising behind a bridge showed it reflecting perfectly off the water beneath it.
But not all the pictures were of people he didn’t know. A couple were taken at Fenway with Aida, Kyle, and Cassidy holding beers as they all leaned in together. The field and players were behind them. Another was taken at the Garden and had the three of them standing close together against the glass while the Bruins skated behind them.
“Who took these photos?” he asked as he pointed to one of an old man sitting on a bench and tossing food to some ducks.
“I did.”
He lifted an eyebrow as he turned to study her. “I didn’t know you were into photography.”
“A lot can change in four years.”
“That it can,” he agreed. “When did you start taking them?”
Aida stared at the photos on her walls. Like she was at the gallery, she’d given each one a specific place meant to make it stand out while also complimenting the pictures closest to it.
“I had to take an art class in college and decided on photography during my freshman year,” she said. “I figured it would be easier than sculpting or painting as I already knew I had no artistic talent in either of those areas, but it turned out I enjoyed it. Photography was the first thing that ever really clicked for me. When I picked up a camera, that wasn’t my phone, and saw the lives of others through its lens, I finally found something I loved doing.”
Before then, she had no idea. Her college plan was to take as many classes as she could and hope something stuck. She loved learning, but she also loved everything she learned, which meant she wanted to do everything.
At various times in her life, she planned to be a veterinarian, sociologist, anthropologist, firefighter, FBI agent, psychologist, chef, writer, journalist, and a dozen other careers that stopped appealing to her months later.
Photography was different; it gave her an outlet for her creative side but also challenged her way of thinking. A lot of her photos were candid, but there were some where she plotted out the perfect timing of things. In more than a few pictures, she had to learn when the stars and moon would align so she could get it just right.
If she’d gotten into photography before the island, she suspected her pictures would have mostly consisted of people, but now there were more nature scenes. She still took pictures of people, and they were some of her favorites, but she preferred nature. She’d never be as outgoing or innocent as the day before her kidnapping, but she still found more beauty than ugliness in the world.
“You’re very talented,” he said.
“Thank you. I love doing it. Nicolette has let me show a few of them in her gallery. I’ve even sold some.”
She’d sold more than some, but her art was private, and Julian was no longer someone she opened up to about things. No, you just make out with him like a horny teenager and an idiot.
She felt like slapping herself upside the head, but she couldn’t undo the past, and on the list of things she would change, this one ranked near the bottom.
“I’d like to take a nap. I have to return to the gallery at four,” she said.
Julian glanced at her bed, and for a second, she didn’t think he was going to move, but then he nodded and rose. She was acutely aware of how big he’d gotten as he prowled toward her. Every bit of him was a predator, but she’d never felt like the prey around him, until now.
Aida shuddered, but she didn’t know if it was with fear or desire as his eyes slid leisurely over her. She almost jerked away when he rested his hand on her cheek, but like a plant seeking the sun, she craved his touch.
“I’m going to prove you can trust me again, Aida,” he vowed.
“We’ll see,” she said.
Stepping away from him, she wrapped her arms around her waist. Julian hesitated before lowering his hand and leaving the room. Aida closed the door behind him and trudged over to her bed. She plopped onto it before falling back onto her pillows.
Julian’s scent of allspice lingered on her sheets, and she cursed before grabbing one of the pillows and throwing it off her bed. When she lay back down, she realized she missed his scent and swore again.
She sat up, retrieved the pillow, and clutched it against her chest as she lay back down. Call her a glutton for punishment, but she nestled deeper into the scent while trying not to think about the way he made her feel so alive.
However, it was all her mind could focus on, and with the kiss came the reminder of his fangs, and with his fangs came the bleak memories.