Chapter Six

“He’s not gonna run again,” Andy muttered as he reached for his navy-blue suit. He’d showered earlier, ready to kick back and relax for the evening. Okay, I was going to brood. Over Kerry.

Now Kerry was there, waiting for him. Andy had to force himself not to rush…much. He needed to give Kerry a chance to prove himself, although he wondered if Kerry was less likely to bolt when they hadn’t just had sex.

That had been a blow to his ego. Andy had worried he’d screwed up, done something sexually repulsive to Kerry that had sent him off. Now he knew better. He’d worried for days over what he’d done wrong, and it was a relief to learn that he’d done everything right. Together, he and Kerry had been explosive, their chemistry off the charts. It had felt overwhelming, but Andy had wanted to explore that connection. He could see where it could have scared someone else…like Kerry.

But Kerry had come back, apologized, and he came across as sincere in his desire to grovel.

Andy didn’t need groveling. Trust, however, was something he’d have to pretend to have until it was a real thing. His heart was a tad bruised, not stomped on like his ego had been, but he still wanted to guard that precious organ for the time being.

He dressed with care, wanting to look his best. Maybe that was silly since Kerry had already seen him naked. Regardless, it was how he felt.

Andy kept one ear out for any noises coming from the living room at first. After ten minutes, he began to have a little faith in Kerry.

Just a little. Andy finished getting ready, then he left his bedroom. Kerry was still on the couch, rubbing his thumbs together, but he was staring at the shelves that held numerous photos of Andy’s friends, and a couple of his parents and grandparents, along with Maxine, his favorite aunt.

Audrey wasn’t in any of the pictures.

He paused just inside the living room and studied Kerry. Other than the twiddling with his thumbs, he didn’t appear to be nervous. His profile was perfect in Andy’s opinion—strong nose with a bump close to the middle of it, square jaw, firm chin, lips that begged to be kissed.

And that hair! Andy wanted to run his fingers through it, then grab hold and guide Kerry’s mouth down, down—

Kerry turned his head and opened his mouth as if he had been about to speak. Instead, he looked Andy up and down, then stood and walked to him. “You are so fucking handsome.”

“Thank you.” Andy held a hand out to Kerry. “Is there anything you’re allergic to or just don’t like to eat?”

Kerry slid his fingers between Andy’s. His palm was bigger than Andy’s, rougher, too. The contrast was perfect.

“No, I’m not allergic to anything, but I’m not a fan of seafood.” Kerry winced. “Makes me the odd one out in the family. When my mom was still alive, her and Dad would host these huge catfish fries and invite all the neighbors and extended family. Even the smell of frying fish makes me queasy.”

Andy walked with him to the door, then had to let go of his hand in order to deal with the door and locking it up. “Did you just not like the taste?”

Kerry shuddered. “I had pet fish. I couldn’t even—just the idea made me want to cry. Eating a fish? Nope.”

That was sweet, and it said something about Kerry’s heart. Andy would bet he had a tender one and it was easily hurt. There were people in the world who’d take advantage of someone like that, and just thinking about what Kerry had told him, Andy could understand better why Kerry had gotten scared and snuck off.

“What kind of fish did you have?” Andy asked, curious to know everything he could about Kerry.

“Goldfish, of course—that seems to be the childhood staple when it comes to pet fish,” Kerry said, lips curving in a smile that made Andy tingle all over. “Guppies, zebra fish and algae eaters for the most part. I had a betta once, but I felt so bad, having to keep it in its own little aquarium. I had the other fish in a fifty-five-gallon tank, but Boris the betta lived in a small hexagonal one and, I don’t know. I didn’t want to do that to another fish.”

Yup. A very tender heart. Andy was going to have to be careful with Kerry’s heart, and if Kerry ever fully trusted him with it, that would signify a commitment.

Andy needed to make sure he was ready for something like that.

He had time to figure it out. They weren’t going to be confessing their love for one another anytime soon.

But if they dated, and opened up to each other, this could become more than casual dating. While Andy might not have thought he’d want something like that a year ago, the fact that he hadn’t even dated in the last eight months wasn’t due to lack of offers. He’d grown weary of the fuck and duck thing.

“Then I tried a saltwater tank, too. Ugh, I can’t tell you how many fish I accidentally killed trying to learn to manage that thing. Well, I could tell you. I kept a list and buried them all. Now I’ve got two tanks that are kind of built into the house. I love having them there.”

“What size are they?” Andy asked, delighted by Kerry as a whole.

“They’re both two hundred gallons,” Kerry said. “I had them built special, and they were the best investments I’ve made. Maybe not in anyone else’s opinion, but in mine.”

“I’d love to see them sometime, just as I’d love to see you shifted.” Andy ghosted a hand over Kerry’s hip. “I bet you’re a beautiful buck.”

Kerry snickered. “I don’t know about that, but sure. If…” His amusement faded and he cleared his throat. “If you want, you can come over after dinner tonight. I’ll show you…everything.”

“Everything, hm.” Andy liked the sound of that. “I’m off tomorrow. Are you?”

“Yeah, I am. If, er, if—if—” Kerry groaned as they stopped at Andy’s car. “I suck at this! You’re welcome to spend the night. We could go hiking tomorrow. There’s this beautiful stream in the hill country that I’d love to show you. We could have lunch by it and spend the day outside—unless you hate that idea.”

Andy didn’t hate it. “I haven’t hiked for about fifteen years. Back when I was a kid, we trekked all over Enchanted Rock and Government Canyon.”

“Really?” Kerry asked. “Why’d you quit?”

Andy’s gut cramped but he ignored that dose of fear. “I don’t know. Just grew out of it, I guess. Got busy with school and trying to bring up my grades.”

“Bring up your grades? Did you have trouble in school?” Kerry frowned.

“I wasn’t the best student.” He’d had a lot of other things to deal with back then. “Tell me more about your fish.”

“Diverting. Interesting,” Kerry mused.

“Busted. I don’t like talking about my shady teenager past. I didn’t do anything horrible, but it was a rough time in my life. Your fish are way more interesting, too.” Andy got in the car.

Kerry gave him a look that had Andy wondering what Kerry was thinking. Before he could ask, Kerry resumed his fish tales.

For the duration of the short drive over to Pistiano’s Italian restaurant, Andy was charmed by Kerry’s recounting of his childhood pets and touched by the pain emanating off Kerry when he spoke of his fish that had passed away.

Andy had never considered fish to be pets, exactly, but more like living ornaments or decorations.

Listening to Kerry talk about the personalities some of his fish had, Andy decided he’d been very short-sighted in his own views on the creatures. “You know, I’m not sure I’ll ever eat fish again now.”

Kerry frowned. “Oh, no, no, I didn’t mean to make you—”

Andy waved one hand after he shut the ignition off. “I quit eating pork after seeing how smart pigs are. Watched a documentary on them. I refuse to watch one on cows or chickens, because I just don’t think I’ve got what it takes to be a vegetarian, and veganism? Impossible. So I might end up starving if I give up beef and chicken.”

Kerry chuckled. “Can’t have that. I’m not sure I could give up bacon, and steak or fried chicken? Nope. It’s weird how we all think of different animals, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it is. I’m still giving up fish, though.” Andy unbuckled, and when he and Kerry were both out of the car, he was delighted that Kerry held his hand. “Have you ever eaten here?”

“Nope. OG is my usual Italian food place,” Kerry replied.

Andy racked his brain but came up with nothing. “OG?”

“Olive Garden,” Kerry supplied, grinning at him. “And like everyone else, I always stuff myself on the salad and breadsticks. By the time my meal arrives, I’m not hungry.”

“That’s my favorite lunch place,” Andy agreed. “Which also leads to it being my dinner place, because I end up taking home most of my actual order and having it later.”

“Their breadsticks are addictive, though.” Kerry tipped his head up, and Andy guessed he was looking at the half-moon in the cloudless, dark sky. “It’s a beautiful night, isn’t it?”

The evening breeze had a hint of chill to it, something that was becoming rarer in San Antonio during late fall and even winter. “It is. Glad we have suits on. I didn’t expect it to be this nippy out.”

Kerry looked at him then. “I want to take you camping sometime. The city lights obscure the stars here, but out in the hill country, or if you’d be willing, at Big Bend, the stars will take your breath away.”

“Big Bend, huh?” Andy paused outside the restaurant doors. “You want to take me hiking and camping in a national park where there are big animals that can eat us? Actually, I’ve always wanted to go there.”

“Maybe we can put that on a to-do date list,” Kerry suggested.

Andy could picture them making love under the stars…and being pounced on by a hungry mountain lion or a bear. “I like the idea of a to-do date list,” he offered. He wasn’t going to agree to be bait for wild animals, though.

“It’s cool, isn’t it?” Kerry opened the door for him. “Not to be presumptuous. You may not want another date after tonight.”

Someone, or maybe more than one person, had done a number on Kerry’s self-esteem, at least when it came to dating. Andy was aware of a burgeoning need to help Kerry see that he was someone to be treasured, not used and forgotten.

He didn’t understand his need to do that any more than he grasped why he wanted Kerry so much. It wasn’t just a physical thing—he liked the way Kerry talked, the stories he told, the passion and love in his voice when he spoke of things he cared about. Most of the guys Andy had dated in the past were passionate about things, too—like keeping the perfect body, who they could screw to get ahead and how many guys they could bag. It was safe to say he hadn’t chosen the right kind of men to date.

Until now. It was quite possible Kerry was everything he’d ever wanted, even if he’d never known he wanted anything.

He was willing to take a risk on Kerry, and that meant shaking things up when it came to his usual dating practices.

He didn’t have a clue what he was doing.

“Good evening and welcome to Pistiano’s. Will I be seating two, sirs?” asked the host.

“Yes, please,” Andy answered. “As private a table as you can manage.”

“Certainly. Right this way.” The host picked up menus and strode into the seating area. “There is a Spurs game tonight, or else it might be more difficult to fit y’all in, though we’d have found a way to do it.”

“Thanks. I want to impress my guy on our first day together,” Andy said, winking at Kerry.

The host beamed at them both. “Ah, the magic of a new relationship. You two make a gorgeous couple, although…” He narrowed his eyes at Andy, then widened them. “Oh my gosh! I know why you look familiar—you’re Mr. November! I saw the calendar photos online, and I just have to tell you, you’re way too hot to be plonked up as Mr. November. Whoever cast your month needs a smack upside the head.”

Andy was more amused than anything else. “I wouldn’t suggest smacking Perry upside the head. She’d be likely to reach down your throat and turn you inside out. Literally, maybe even.”

“Hmph. I doubt that. But anyway, here’s a nice table where you two can have some privacy. Henrietta will be your server tonight, and she will be right with you in a moment. The specials are on the insert inside the menus. Enjoy!” The host left them alone.

“Sheesh. That was uncomfortable.” Andy sat when Kerry did. “The first time I get recognized for being in the calendar—probably the only time it will happen—and I kind of threaten him with violence through Perry.”

“I haven’t met her, but I don’t think choosing you for November was a horrible thing to do. It’s a month that’s about more than food,” Kerry pointed out as he opened his menu. “It’s about gratitude, and blessings. In fact, we all know that the traditional Thanksgiving celebration was based on fallacies. My family didn’t celebrate it, not the way others do. It was about family, and we often listened as the older people, like our grandparents, told us stories. Kind of a verbal family history. It was… I liked it.”

Andy’s own Thanksgiving memories weren’t so touching and he didn’t want to talk about them. He didn’t want to discuss his family at all. But he wanted to know everything about Kerry. “Your family doesn’t do that anymore?”

Kerry shrugged. “No, not anymore. The only ones here in the area now are Kingston and me. Dad’s living in Dover, Maryland, with our sister Barbara, her husband Ian, and their three kids. Can’t blame him for wanting to be around them and the kids. We’re supposed to try to get together after Christmas, maybe for New Year’s.”

Before Andy could ask why Kerry didn’t spend Thanksgiving in Maryland, the server arrived.

“Hi, I’m Henrietta, and I’ll be your server tonight. Have you had the opportunity to look at the wine list?”

Andy hadn’t. He’d been too interested in Kerry. “Would you like wine with dinner?”

Kerry nodded. “Yes, but I don’t know which one.”

Henrietta pointed at a wine on the list. “If I may, I’d suggest the house wine. It’s made exclusively for Pistiano’s and goes well with most of the dishes. If you order meals that won’t pair with it, I’ll bring you a wine that will.”

“Sound good, Kerry?” Andy asked.

“Yeah, and could I get a glass of water, too?” Kerry ran his finger over the coaster.

“Hm. Cory should have brought some out to you right away. He must be off his game. I’ll be right back with the water and the wine.” Henrietta turned and left them alone.

“Cory was too busy drooling over you,” Kerry teased, grinning at Andy. “He has a crush. Should I be worried?”

Andy could tell that Kerry wasn’t serious, which was good. Chest-thumping guys had never been Andy’s thing. “Not at all. I’ve got the sexiest, most interesting man around sitting at the table with me. Why would I screw that up?”

“Flattery will get ya,” Kerry replied after he chuckled.

Andy leaned back and stared at Kerry. “And what will it get me?”

Kerry gave him a smoldering look in return. “Anything you want.”

At that moment, Andy wanted everything, even though he knew Kerry was joking. He was saved from having to think up a witty rejoinder by the return of Henrietta, who presented their wine.

As they talked, Andy thought about Kerry. He was hooked on the man, and the why for that didn’t matter. But it meant he needed to do things differently than he had in the past, with other men. None of them had mattered to him like he suspected Kerry could.

He hoped he didn’t do anything to chase Kerry off. Andy might even be willing to camp out in the middle of what might be bear and mountain lion country for a chance to build something with Kerry.

Yes, he was falling fast and, rather than be scared, Andy decided he was going to enjoy the rush of the fall.