“I should apologize about barging in, but I’ve been dying to meet you.”
Pepper laughed, appreciating the woman’s candor. “These cinnamon rolls smell delicious.”
“Yeah, Winnie is a master in the kitchen.”
Pepper sat down across from Annabelle. Once Nolan had left—more like made tracks getting out of his house—Pepper had led Annabelle out into the enclosed patio room. The mouthwatering aroma of the fresh pastries had reminded Pepper just how hungry she truly was. Last night had...well, it had been nothing short of amazing and magical and all of those euphoric adjectives that came to mind when describing the best sexual experience of her life.
“And she didn’t want to bring these and check me out herself?”
Annabelle laughed as she tore apart a gooey roll. “She said she remembers you from when you and Nolan were together before. She said she always liked you and I could take a turn coming. But be warned. She’s preparing more food for tomorrow and will be here to pay you a visit.”
“I’ll be fat by the time this marriage is over.” She smoothed a hand down her swollen midsection. “Well, fatter.”
“You’re stunning.” Annabelle’s brows rose as she twisted the diamond engagement ring on her finger. “So you’re only married for the baby?”
Why lie? It wasn’t like they had to pretend to be in love. Love didn’t exist, not for them, anyway. No matter how much Pepper felt for Nolan, she knew better than to hope for a happily-ever-after with him. She was a grown woman, a realistic woman, and had her eyes wide-open.
“I just want to keep custody,” she explained, pulling apart her roll. “The father of my baby passed away, something I didn’t know until recently, because we had parted ways before I even found out I was expecting. He paid me a lump sum of money as his way of support and wanted to be left out of the upbringing.”
“Sounds like a jerk,” Annabelle muttered. “Sorry. Go on.”
Pepper put a bite in her mouth and nearly moaned as the flavors exploded on her tongue. This might be the best thing she’d ever tasted.
“They’re amazing, right?” Annabelle said around her own bite.
“I can’t even find words,” Pepper groaned. “Where was I?”
“Discussing why your marriage is going to end.”
Pepper took a sip of her juice and ripped off another bite. “Nolan and I have a history. I don’t know what all Colt has told you.”
“He pretty much gave me all the details of the past.”
That made this conversation a bit easier. “Then that brings you up to speed on why this is so awkward for us now. I mean, those old feelings are there, but then there’s so much going on and we definitely aren’t the same people we used to be.”
Annabelle reached across the table and patted Pepper’s hand. “Honey, life knocks us all down, but it’s those feelings deep down, those that you can’t ignore, that pull you through.”
Pepper drew in a shaky breath. She didn’t want to count on those feelings that lived deep inside her. Those were the ones that scared her, the ones that kept her up at night and made her wonder.
“Well, I’ve got so much going on right now I can’t even think about my feelings for Nolan.”
“You love him.” Annabelle’s matter-of-fact tone had Pepper stilling. “I saw it in the way you looked at him. He loves you, too, or you wouldn’t be here.”
“Oh, I’m not so sure about that,” Pepper laughed, trying to lighten the intense mood. “He’s a player. That much I know for sure.”
“Maybe so, but he’s never brought another woman here. Colt said he’s been very adamant about that. He thinks of this place as some type of sanctuary, someplace he can escape everything and be alone. His job is demanding and so is the ranch.”
Pepper waved a hand in the air before diving back into her roll. “He married me to help me out of a bind...that’s all. It would’ve looked rather silly for us to live separately. Besides, my apartment had a slight fire. It’s getting renovated now.”
Annabelle quirked a brow and smiled. “But he didn’t have to do anything, did he? He could’ve let you deal with everything on your own.”
No, no, he didn’t have to step in, but guilt often made people do things they otherwise wouldn’t. Pepper wasn’t going to keep defending her position, because she was exhausted and Annabelle clearly had stars in her eyes. Of course she was happy, engaged to an Elliott brother and raising twin babies. Her whole world was perfectly in place. Pepper wanted to visit there for just a bit. What she wouldn’t give to have just one day of pure bliss and no worries...
“Let’s not talk about my crazy life,” Pepper said. “I want to hear about your girls. Nolan said you have twin girls. I bet you’re tired.”
Annabelle laughed. “It’s challenging, for sure. But they’re so sweet and fun.”
“I’d love to meet them.”
“Of course.” Annabelle took a drink of her juice, holding on to her cup as she swirled the liquid. “They’re with my dad right now. I didn’t know if I should bombard you with my zoo for our first meeting. I didn’t want to scare you in case I liked you and wanted to be friends.”
With a laugh, Pepper leaned back in her seat and shook her head. “Please. I’d love to be bombarded by babies. I have no idea what to expect and I’m terrified.”
“That’s understandable,” the other woman told her with a sympathetic smile. “Why don’t you come down to the main house and you can meet them? Unless you have something else you’re doing this morning.”
Pepper smiled, feeling like she was making a new friend, and one she desperately needed. A female ally could quite possibly be the outlet she needed to get through.
Because in a few hours, Nolan would be back and they’d have to talk about last night. She wanted to know where they’d go from here. She didn’t want to play that female card and ask for a label on their relationship—this complicated mess was too chaotic to try to define. But she did feel that she deserved to know what he was thinking and feeling.
And she’d be sure to guard her own emotions until she knew. Getting a broken heart from Nolan Elliott once in her life was all she could handle.
* * *
“If you slam one more thing, I’m going to make you leave.”
Nolan gripped the brush, ready to fling it back into the bucket, but caught himself. He’d been in a pissy mood since leaving his house. Probably right about now, he figured, the women were knee-deep in gossip, and he’d wager a bet that every topic had his name on it.
He scowled, wishing Annabelle had never shown up at his door with those damn cinnamon rolls. The last thing he’d wanted was to leave Pepper after their incredible night together. He’d wanted to stay, to take her upstairs, and do it all over again. But would she welcome this new twist in their relationship? Or would she put the brakes on because she didn’t want to get too attached? He knew Pepper well enough to know she led with her heart.
When he’d first left, he’d been in a great mood, thinking of last night and how happy Pepper had seemed. But then reality settled deep and now that devil on his shoulder was putting negative thoughts in his head.
He thought he’d grown since they’d been together last. He’d believed he could sleep with Pepper without getting more involved. But he’d been a fool. The daydreams he had about her, about this marriage, were all too real...and all too consuming.
Damn it. He didn’t want to hurt her, but he wasn’t about to turn back. He wanted his wife in the most basic, primal way a man wanted a woman. And now that he’d had her again, all that passion they’d shared before came rushing back and he refused to let it go after he’d had a taste.
“Bad night?” Colt asked, stepping into the doorway of the stall. “Or are you mad because Annabelle interrupted something?”
Nolan grunted. “Shut up.”
“You’re the one who got yourself into this mess. Don’t get grouchy with me.”
Nolan tossed the brush into the bucket anyway. “You think I don’t know how I got into this? I had little choice, though.”
Colt hooked his thumbs in his belt and shook his head. “You don’t believe that any more than I do.”
Nolan didn’t know what to believe. Right now he was too keyed up about last night to worry about too much more. Having Pepper back in his bed, so to speak, was all he’d wanted, a temptation he couldn’t resist. But now that he’d had her, he wasn’t so sure he wanted her to be anywhere else. Of course, then there was the whole issue that he didn’t want to be married with a family, yet here he was. He’d volunteered to put himself in that exact position.
Nolan patted Doc’s side. He needed a good ride, but he’d groomed his stallion instead. Doc needed some downtime today.
“All I know is she’s turning me inside out, but then I think, this is not my cross to bear.”
“Are you sure about that? Sounds like years of guilt have caught up with you.”
Nolan blew out a breath and turned to face his baby brother. “I can’t turn back the clock. I’m not the same young jerk I was, but I’m honest about what I can give. She knows I’m still not wanting a family. We’re taking it day by day, I guess.”
Colt merely raised his brows but Nolan didn’t care what his brother thought, or anyone else, for that matter. He had enough of his own turmoil to deal with.
“You’re playing house with a woman you were once in love with who’s pregnant and back in town for good, and you think you can be this calm about it?” Colt snorted and tipped his hat back on his head. “I’ll play along with your delusions if you want. Besides, I’ll get all the details from Annabelle when she comes home later.”
Growling, Nolan pushed passed his brother. He headed down the stone walkway between the stalls and ignored Colt’s obnoxious laughter. Surely Pepper wouldn’t spill everything. Of course, there was no hiding the fact Annabelle had gotten them out of bed, or off the couch, as the case may be. That would be enough fuel for Colt to assume that Nolan was falling into this whole married-bliss phase.
Nolan refused to let that happen. Yes, he might want to be physical with Pepper, he might be doing all of this to help her, and fine, he might be a tad jealous that she carried another man’s baby, but he didn’t want to settle down for real. Wasn’t his life busy enough? He was perfectly fulfilled without adding more. Being a doctor and a rancher was full-time. Adding a child into the mix would only spread him even thinner and that wouldn’t be fair to an innocent baby.
“You still picking Hayes up from the airport?” Nolan asked as he grabbed a blanket. He planned on taking out Lightning, Colt’s stallion.
“That’s my horse,” Colt stated. “Use your own.”
“Mine needs to rest and you haven’t taken Lightning out yet.” Nolan ignored his brother’s protest. “I need to get away and think. I’ll do a perimeter check of the fence line.”
“Running from your problems didn’t work so well the first time you were with Pepper. What makes you think it will this time?”
Nolan tossed the blanket over Lightning’s back and smoothed it out. “I didn’t come down here to ask your opinion. I came to work, to ride and to give the women time to talk about us and do their nails...or whatever the hell else they’re doing.”
Colt laughed. Bastard. Nolan wasn’t in the mood for jokes or laughter. He wanted to wallow in his dark mood because the more he thought about last night, the more he was conflicted. He wanted to go back to the house and take Pepper to his bed and forget the world existed.
Nolan fixed the saddle in place and threw a glance toward Colt. “I’ll bring him back in a few hours.”
“Why don’t you let me and my guys do the work and you go back home to Pepper?”
Nolan led Lightning outside. Colt followed behind. “Why don’t you focus on your own woman and leave mine to me.”
He mounted the stallion and kicked him into a gallop. Nolan could get work done and hopefully clear his head. By the time he got back home, maybe he’d have all the answers. Most likely he’d still be confused, but he was sure of one thing...he’d still want Pepper in his bed. That would never change. It was just what they would do outside the bedroom that he had to worry about.