LIAM MILLER
In my travels around Ooo, I had the opportunity to speak with many people on many subjects. My most memorable time was when I spent several days (many, many days) having lunch with Finn the Human and Jake the dog. Jake made one of his specialties, an Everything Burrito. Little did I know that a friendly lunch between friends (we’re friends, you see) could last as long as it did. The presence of the Everything Burrito should have been a sign. Long as it was, it did give me an opportunity to talk to the guys about many pressing matters.
We spoke of heroism, righteousness, and justice. We struggled with many notions, and some serious gas. In the end, though, we realized that almost every conversation we had was really about free will. . . . After all, can you really be a hero if you aren’t truly free? And doesn’t justice require that the guilty acted of their own free will? But here’s the problem. . . . The Cosmic Owl, as far as I can tell, is the only being who definitely has free will in the Land of Ooo. There could be others out there; maybe everyone has free will. All we can be certain of, though, is the Cosmic Owl.
When I pointed this out to them, Jake said that free will is an illusion anyway. Cinnamon Bun just laughed and said, “Hehe, what?” Finn was pretty quiet on the subject, but he’s pretty sure of his ability to choose his own fate. I think he was trying to figure out just what to say. Princess Bubblegum, or ‘Peebles’ as she totally said I could call her, found my methodology lacking in hard evidence and proceeded to run her own experiments. Apparently, this happens a lot with Peebles.
. . . But seriously, the longer we spoke, the more I realized that even everything they said was pre-determined. It was almost as if it was all written down for them, long before they ever said it. And then I realized it. I didn’t have free will either, . . . and I can prove it.
An Owl that Is Cosmic
Everyone knows about premonition dreams in Ooo. These are mysterious dreams that allow the dreamer to catch a glimpse into their future. There is usually some sort of message, warning or key piece of information in a premonition dream. And every premonition dream has the Cosmic Owl in it. Some premonition dreams are dire, dark, and a bit scary. Some depict the dreamer’s death; these are known as croak dreams. Some are very cryptic and it seems impossible to understand them. Others come in stages, often over several nights. But they all have one thing in common; the Cosmic Owl is in all of them. The presence of the Cosmic Owl proves the dreams’ authenticity.
The first thing we can take from this is there must be at least one future that exists now. It is widely thought that premonition dreams are unchangeable. The Cosmic Owl shows the dreamer a future that is unavoidable. If this is true, it would mean the future is set. An unavoidable future is a predetermined future—one that’s inescapable. This is what we call “Determinism”—the idea that the future is caused by the past. And the only way to make a different future would be to change the past. For example if the future is and has always been predetermined, Simon Petrikov was always destined to find his magical crown and become the Ice King. The only way he wouldn’t become the Ice King is if he didn’t find the crown, but he did, and we can’t change that, so there is no way to prevent him from becoming the Ice King. Determinism leaves very little room for the possibility of free will because free will requires the ability to choose between many different possible futures.
Jake has on several occasions advocated for Determinism. His philosophy is one of passive acceptance, especially about croak dreams. But how reliable is his information? If premonition dreams are set in stone, we have some pretty good evidence for an entirely predetermined Ooo. This would mean that every decision anyone makes in Ooo is not really their own, it was always going to be that way. When Finn and Jake go out adventuring, the outcome of their trials are already decided. They just live it. But here’s the thing about the Cosmic Owl. He shows the dreamer their future. And that makes all the difference.
Croak Dreams and You
When Jake had his croak dream, he was convinced of his fate. “No one can change a croak dream Finn. Not even you.” He saw himself floating in the blackness of space, surrounded by twinkling stars. In the distance, he saw a rocket ship and the Banana Man with a glass helmet on his head. Earth was a small blue marble, hanging in place as if suspended in fluid. Jake tried to stretch his arms out to the rocket, but it was too far. He exhaled the last of his air with a whoosh and turned blue. The last thing he saw before he woke up was the flash of the Cosmic Owl filling his vision, proving the validity of his croak dream.
We have to accept that whenever the Cosmic Owl is in a dream, it definitely is a premonition dream of some sort. Whenever Finn and Jake talk about these things, this detail is always just a given. It’s a part of Ooo. These things just are. But, Jake’s dream was set in motion not long after he woke up that day, yet he lived to tell the tale. Either Jake’s dream was not a real croak dream, or someone changed the future. But the dream was a real croak dream.
Let’s look at what changed, that way we’ll know who changed it. That morning the Banana Man came to Finn and Jake’s house. Apparently, he just wanted to borrow some sugar. The Banana Man left sugarless and Finn and Jake, suitably freaked out, followed him to his home. This is the first point of divergence. Talking to both Finn and Jake about this particular adventure, I think Jake would have gone to the Banana Man’s house alone if hadn’t dreamed about his death. Jake is pretty chatty and inquisitive. He could easily have gotten into a conversation about anything with the Banana Man (say, rockets?). It’s not hard to imagine a scenario where Jake casually turns to Finn and says,
“Hey Finn, I’m gonna go hang with this Banana Man, talk about space and rockets! You in?”
And Finn would reply, just as casually “Nah man, that stuff makes my brain fall asleep. I’m gonna stay here and play with Beemo.”
“Hehe, yea. Seeya later buddy!” Jake would say as he waved goodbye. . . .
See, it was because of the croak dream that Finn and Jake even knew of the Banana Man. Without the knowledge of the Croak dream, the boys would not have been freaked out by the Banana Man showing up. And Finn wouldn’t have felt the need to follow Jake.
Everything else that happened was a direct result of that initial point of divergence. If Jake hadn’t had the dream, Finn would not have joined him. But Jake did have the dream, so Finn did join him. The future shown in Jake’s croak dream (Future A) was altered into what actually happened (future B). Like a good murder mystery we are left with a tantalizing whodunnit, only instead of murder, it’s changing the future.
What Is This Singular Doing in This Realm?
In deciding who changed the future, Finn is the obvious choice. Because it is his presence that changes everything. The biggest bit of evidence for this can be found in Jake’s croak dream. He’s what he tells us about it, “There was a rocket ship, you weren’t there, and there was a Banana Man and I ran out of air and in outer space, and isn’t that great Finn!” But when the actual event happened there was a significant difference. As Jake put it, “Hey no wait, in the croak dream it was me and Banana Man, but this time you were here too.” So there is a difference. And that difference is Finn!
This doesn’t mean that Jake’s croak dream is in any way wrong. Certainly not. Jake’s croak dream was never in space; his dream was of that underground lake. The Earth in the croak dream is the same model Earth Jake saw when he was drowning. The point of all this is that the only difference between Jake’s croak dream and what actually happened was the presence of Finn the human. Finn was then able to save Jake by allowing Jake to save him from drowning. Pretty math, right? Well, it would be if it were correct.
Finn is the heroic sort, all saving princesses and conquering dungeons. When Jake told him about his croak dream, Finn’s natural instinct was to save Jake from his fate. “Jake, your croak dream just gave us the upper hand. We can cheat now! We can cheat Fate.” But this is the tricky thing about determinism. Finn believes he’s making a choice to save Jake; that he’s exercising his free will. But would Finn have ever done anything different? If Finn is all about being a hero (which he is) he would never choose to do something that’s not heroic! I’m not saying Finn will always do the right thing, because he doesn’t always know what the right thing is. But if he had a choice between saving Cinnamon Bun from an ice golem or helping an ice golem beat up Cinnamon Bun, Finn is definitely going to save CB. Under these conditions, it appears meaningless to talk about Finn’s decision to save Cinnamon Bun. We all know he was going to do it all along.
Let’s try another example. The Lich is the embodiment of evil in Ooo. He makes Hunson Abadeer look all sweet and cuddly (Don’t tell him I said that). Given what we know about him, could the Lich fall in love with Hotdog Princess and settle down to raise a dozen or so Hotdog Knights?
Can you imagine, the Lich and Hotdog Princess, living in that doghouse? No way. That’s just something that the Lich could never choose . . . because it just isn’t who he is! But if this is the case, it seems like there are at least some things that the Lich is incapable of choosing. All we need now, in order to predict the future perfectly, is exact knowledge of everyone and everything everywhere. A perfectly predictable universe like this doesn’t leave very much room for free will at all, not even for great evil like the Lich or great stupidity like the Hotdog Knights.
Even if there’s no way of knowing everything, the fact that it’s possible to predict the future is enough to question everyone’s actions. There is no way to tell if anyone is truly acting freely, or if they’re just doing what they always were going to do. This is why I don’t think it was Finn who changed the future. Finn was doing exactly what Finn would do when he found out his friend was in danger. Given who Finn is, he couldn’t do otherwise. AND we know, because of the croak dream, that if Jake didn’t tell Finn about the dream, Finn wouldn’t have gone with Jake to the ship! Isn’t that proof of just more determinism? Finn went to the ship because of what he knew about the dream. A future where Finn doesn’t follow Jake requires changing the past. But the past happened, Jake did tell Finn and so Finn followed Jake.
It seems as if we’re right back where we started from. We know the future was altered. We know this because the future Jake saw (Which was accurate based on the presence of the Cosmic Owl) and the actual events that happened were different. So who changed things? Whoooo, indeed. As I’ve said, the Cosmic Owl is the only being who definitely has free will in the Land of Ooo. Let me tell you why.
Anatomy of an Immortal Bird
The point of divergence, the bit where the timeline changed was when Jake was shown his croak dream. That was the difference. In Jake’s croak dream, he had no idea what was going on. When Jake fell into the lake, however, Jake seemed happy and excited. Which I bet messed Finn up. A lot.
So in the vision of the future that Jake saw, he must not have originally seen his croak dream. That’s the difference. Jake saw his croak dream, because he saw it, he told Finn and Finn didn’t leave his side. And it was the Cosmic Owl who showed Jake his croak dream.
The Cosmic Owl’s the only person who could have changed the future, so he must have free will. He doesn’t seem to be able to physically change it. In fact, he doesn’t seem to be able to physically appear at all. The only time we see the Cosmic Owl outside of a dream is in the Time Room. This may be because he exists outside of time, but I can’t be sure. This would make sense; it would mean the Cosmic Owl is viewing all of time and space like a giant rug, or map, or dungeon layout. He can see all the events of everything laid out in front of him, where all the treasure is, and he can see potential points where he could change things. Why the Cosmic Owl changes things is a topic for another day, but he does seem to have good intentions.
The other thing we can say about the Cosmic Owl is that he might be all-knowing. Yes, he (as far as I can tell) lives outside of time, has free will and is capable of altering the timeline, but I don’t think he could change the future without knowing a lot about everyone. Maybe everything. For instance, Jake’s croak dream successfully altered the timeline for the better. There have been other times when the interference of the Cosmic Owl has seemed to either fail to stop something or actually caused the thing to happen, but maybe that was the plan all along.
For example, Finn had a series of premonition dreams about Flame Princess and the Ice King. In order to have the dream several times (to decipher its cryptic messages) Finn repeatedly put Flame Princess and the Ice King in situations where they would fight each other. This inevitably backfired and ended his relationship with Flame Princess. But the message the Cosmic Owl was trying to tell Finn was, “You blew it.” three words, signifying the near cataclysmic end of Finn’s and Flame Princess’s courtship (not to mention the destruction of the Ice Kingdom).
There are two possible reasons for this action. Either the Cosmic Owl tried to warn Finn about doing something stupid, and in doing so accidentally made Finn do something stupid. Or his plan succeeded, and our resident owl is just a bit cruel when it comes to breaking people up. (I would think there are easier ways to end a relationship). Or maybe, just maybe, there was a good reason for Cosmic Owl to want that event to happen . . . like helping the Ice King make friends. After all, when his kingdom is destroyed the boys let him stay with them (out of pretty justifiable guilt). Maybe the Cosmic Owl can see our actions the way we can see a series of dominos. If you knock this one over, a whole series of events will occur!
But, then again, when I told Jake of my thoughts on this matter he pointed out to me (with a mouthful of burrito) that the Cosmic Owl was trying to say the same thing in all three dreams. He was telling Finn he ‘blew it’ before he blew it. Maybe the Cosmic Owl is all-knowing, but just not very good at giving bad news. But here’s the deal, if the Cosmic Owl knows the future, doesn’t that mean Finn and everyone in Ooo doesn’t have free will?
As Jake points out, we can’t prevent what the Cosmic Owl knows will happen! So if the Cosmic Owl knows that Finn is going to follow Jake, . . . then Finn will follow Jake. Even though Finn feels like it’s his choice (and it is) he can’t do other than what the Cosmic Owl knows he’s going to do. And the Cosmic Owl knows he’s going to do it, likely for two reasons 1. He can see the future and 2. The future is caused by the past! So how is Finn really free? And don’t we have the same problem if God, . . . I mean Glob . . . knows the future? How can you be free to make choices if the future is already determined?
Something we know about Ooo is that the future, or some future, is already set. We know this because of the various beings and objects that can accurately predict or show the future. What we’re dealing with here is a world that has a future that is predetermined. But, there is also at least one being capable of changing the future. Generally speaking, determinism and free will aren’t that compatible. They’re like Abracadaniel and Lumpy Space Princess, you never see them together. There is, however, a compatible type of determinism: soft determinism. This would mean that the future is predetermined, but it also allows for instances of free will because free will is more about our ability to cause the future we want than it is about changing the future.
It’s Speculation Time!
Finn the Human has no free will. No Singular, as the Cosmic Owl puts it, has free will. This is where we must start if we are to truly get to the bottom of this. Determinism, which is the situation we find ourselves in in Ooo, is the idea that the universe is predetermined. All the decisions anybody makes have already been decided. There is no way to tell if, when we act, we’re acting of our own free will or not.
Maybe it doesn’t even matter. There is no apparent difference between Jake making the perfect sandwich because he really wanted to or because he was always destined too. Either way Jake wakes up one morning and decides to make a sandwich. Either way, due to his amazing sandwich-making ability he creates something that transcends mere bread and fillings.
But it does matter, to some of us. If Finn defeats all evil in Ooo and becomes the greatest hero of them all, even greater than BILLY (wicked guitar solo), he wants to know if it was his doing or if he was just always destined to be the greatest hero. Our successes (and failures) are more truly ours if we possess a free will. Every dungeon we overcome, every piece of loot we find, even every battle we lose, is worth more when it is because of a decision we made. Yes, even our failures are important in this instance. When we own all our actions, we see we are fully responsible for them. Praise and punishment are no longer dished out at the will of Grod, but because we truly deserve to be praised or punished.
Think about it like this. . . . A close examination of Finn the Human reveals that it was inevitable that Finn would lose his arm. You might think this is trivial, but I believe it is one of the most important aspects of our hero at this point in his life. For reasons unknown even to the most bearded of wizards, Finn keeps being shown different versions of himself, all missing his right arm. In daydreams and worm dreams, alternate realities, parallel dimensions, past lives and in the future—all other versions of Finn the Human are missing their right arm.
It wasn’t until recently that Finn began making the connection between all these visions. During our great lunch of the everything burrito, this topic came up, ironically. We had this conversation before he lost his arm trying to stop his father! We started talking about Shoko, a past life of Finn’s that he recently found out about. Shoko was a one-armed thief who stole something very precious long ago. For the next couple of days Jake and I helped Finn piece together several other distinct occasions where he either had lost his arm or he was shown a version of himself with only one arm. Between, of course, mouthfuls of burrito . . .
When Finn got lost in Jake’s pillow fort and ended up in pillow world, he claimed to have lived an entire life. Finn himself has only just recently remembered the experience. He can only ever recall pieces, fragments as if from a dream. But he definitely remembers having lived a long and full life and, at some point, losing his right arm and constructing a prosthetic out of pillows.
The nature of the pillow world is shrouded in a duvet of mystery. Is it an alternate reality, or a world that only existed in Finn’s head? What we do know is that it was definitely Finn who lived a life there. Unlike Fiona, Finn cannot meet pillow world Finn because he is pillow world Finn.
A somewhat more ambiguous example is Farmworld Finn. When Finn and Jake chased the Lich through a portal to the Time Room, Finn made a wish that the Lich never existed. The result was Farmworld; a world where the mushroom wars never occurred, but where an ice age had covered the planet for four hundred years. In this alternate reality, Finn lived with his parents and younger sibling on the outskirts of a small rural community. Jake in Farmworld was just a normal dog and Finn just a normal boy, with one slight difference. He was missing his right arm and had a crude mechanical one that was little more than a claw.
Finn has no recollection of Farmworld, because Jake ended up changing the world back with his wish. But it’s interesting to know that Finn has seen his Farmworld self before. Finn and Jake had a bit of a worm problem at the treehouse at one point. At first the worms were small and cute and only did things like crowd around on Finn’s bed, but then things got out of hand. When the King Worm trapped the boys in their own dream to feed off their life energies, Finn saw some pretty weird stuff. The weirdest by far (WAY weirder than the two-mouthed Lady Rainicorn) was a reflection of himself in the mirror that was slightly off. He had a strange face, slightly different clothes and, where his right arm should have been, was a crude mechanical arm that was little more than a claw.
And again we see Finn without his right arm on a train, . . . a dungeon train. From car to car they went, fighting crystal ants, blob monsters, and level bosses. Finn, having recently gone through some “stuff” (girlfriend stuff) lost himself a little in the simple pleasures of dungeon crawling. Much time passed, and Jake got hungry and bored. He stumbled upon a future crystal and was shocked to see a vision of Finn, far into the future, still fighting on the train they were on. And poor Jake? He was there also, old and still hungry and still bored. And guess what Finn Looked like? He looked bad ass, all clad in armor and weapons, . . . and missing his right arm. Eventually Finn realized the folly of living in a dungeon train for the rest of his life. When he saw what it was doing to Jake, he changed his fate, and the future crystal reflected that.
All of these stories have a common thread. As Shoko, Finn was a thief who betrayed Princess Bubblegum; Farmworld Finn had the unfortunate fate of becoming the Ice King instead of Simon; pillow world Finn had a quiet and peaceful life, but one where he constantly searched for an exit back to his old life; and dungeon train Finn (from the future) had no real kind of life at all. As Jake said, “Man, this whole train is just butter!” In all of these instances, Finn was shown a version of himself where he was missing his right arm.
Heck, it even happens in Finn’s imagination! One time when Finn was meditating with Bubblegum all he could think about was how cool he’d look as a grown-up hero. He imagined he was big and muscular, he wore a legendary sword strapped to his back, a huge white flowing cloak around his neck, and he had one huge mechanical arm where his right arm used to be. But this was no ordinary day. Shortly after this, Finn was given a legendary Gauntlet that once belonged to BILLY!!! (wicked guitar solo). Princess Bubblegum gave Finn this sacred weapon to defeat the greatest evil in Ooo, the Lich. For those playing at home, the gauntlet was right handed. While it was ultimately his sweater and not the gauntlet that defeated the Lich, arguably Finn could not have done what he did without the gauntlet. . . . Finn never daydreamed about having only one arm again.
Do You Think I’ve Got the Goods, Bubblegum? ’Cause I Am into This Stuff!
There’s definitely a connection between all these adventures, but as yet this does not add up to Finn having free will. The dungeon train case is an interesting one because this is the only time where Finn directly sees his future outside of a premonition dream. Premonition dreams don’t help us here because the Cosmic Owl is involved, and we already know he has free will. When Finn first saw himself as an old man still battling away on the train, all armor clad and missing an arm, he was genuinely excited that that was his future. But eventually, when he saw what would become of Jake he changed his mind and the image in the future crystal changed as well.
An avid determinist, like Jake, would say Finn was always going to change his mind and leave the train; that this example in no way signifies any sort of free will on the part of Finn. But an avid determinist like Jake can’t explain objects like the future crystal. Finn was definitely shown a future. Then, as a direct result of seeing that future (specifically the future of Jake), Finn changed his mind and the future crystal changed as well.
Soft determinism is the theory that there is a predetermined universe; that the future is set. But, that set future is less like a rock golem and more like a snow golem—it’s kind of squishy and malleable. The future can be changed. I think we can definitively say the Land of Ooo is a place ruled by soft determinism. We can say this because the future is something we can see through certain objects or be shown by certain people. But this future can be altered.
Whether or not anyone other than the Cosmic Owl has a free will is still a mysterious mystery. While we can say that Finn changed his mind in that dungeon train and that changed the future, we can’t say for sure if he was always going to. Soft determinism allows for a changeable future, and allows for free will, but it doesn’t guarantee anything.
Consider this. If Finn had not been shown the future crystal, would he have changed his future? Showing Finn the future crystal is what set him on the path to leaving the dungeon train. Yes, the future can be changed. But I just cannot say that Finn chose to do so freely.
The final piece of the puzzle is the right arm of Finn. Possibly the most important appendage in all of Ooo, maybe even of all time. There is no way to know. The one-armed Finns may be unrelated; it might all be coincidence. Or they might be signposts; warnings to Finn to not deviate from his destiny. Can he deviate from his destiny? And that brings us back to Jake’s croak dream. Everything the boys do, they do because of something. If Finn follows Jake it’s because he knows about the dream, and if he doesn’t follow him, it’s because he doesn’t know about it. But just like us, everything Finn does he does for a reason, because of the past (like Jake telling Finn about his dream).
I do think Finn has a destiny; an epic fate meant only for him. But will he choose such a fate freely or will it be thrust upon him? Really, that’s the difference between hard determinism and soft determinism. Either way, Finn is determined to do as he does, but can we still say he is kind of free if he chooses his fate . . . even if the Cosmic Owl knew what choice he would make? That’s the problem we all must face.
Are we free because we make choices? Or are we determined because the choices are caused by forces we can’t control or change. Even if we can’t see the future, like the Cosmic Owl, our choices are predictable based on the past. Perhaps they aren’t known by Glob, the Cosmic Owl, or Prismo in our world, but we make our choices because of our past . . . and none of us can change the past.
. . . damn burritos.