Neva looks at the book that Fracks gave her. It is a hardback copy of a historical romance. Not the sort of subject Neva would have expected Fracks to have found appealing. She opens the cover and looks now at the names Fracks had written on the blank first page. The penmanship is untidy, and Neva recalls the shaking of his hand as he wrote.
Kritta (Berlin); Banwick (Cardiff); Subra (Jerusalem); Petters (Oslo); Conor (Edinburgh); Drake (Venice); Armin (Kabul); Stanners (Loch Lomond); Ruddy (Florence); Aelen (Belfast); Cruik (Madrid).
She takes a pen out of the drawer in her small kitchen and crosses off the names that are no longer valid. She knows that Subra executed Armin and was then killed by Solomon Granger. As for Stanners (the real father of her assassin colleague and of the former head teacher at the Alderley Edge kill house, Olive Redding), Michael had confirmed that he was dead and suspected Olive of the deed. Revenge no doubt for his part in handing her over to the kill house when she was an innocent child. Neva understood that revenge more than most. She wanted the same thing herself. If Annalise was who they thought she was, Neva wanted her dead too. At least, thanks to Fracks, she has some direction in which to look.
Neva looks at the other names. Which of these did Vasquez take down in his pursuit of a place on the committee? Fracks had said Aelen and Ruddy were gone. Neva underlines these names rather than crossing them off. She will have to do her own research to confirm this is the case.
Neva opens her encrypted laptop and begins another search on onionland. Her contact Elbakitten may be able to shed some light on these characters and, so far, her intel has proved reliable. She sends an encoded message to Elbakitten and then waits for a response.
Half an hour later Elbakitten replies. They go into a private chat room.
I need anything you can find regarding the following names, Neva types.
These are codenames? Elbakitten replies.
Yes, Neva responds.
That information may be expensive, Elbakitten replies. Should I test one name first?
Try Kritta since it’s the first one on the list, Neva says.
I’ll get back to you in 24 hours, Elbakitten says. I’ll message you in the usual way.
Neva disconnects. Then she looks around the small apartment and frowns. She’s tired of hiding out in Amsterdam, but has no desire to go elsewhere. Travelling and crossing borders is still too risky. For this reason, the world no longer feels big and she experiences a claustrophobic resentment of Amsterdam. She wonders now why she came here. There were many other locations she could have chosen. Other identities she could have taken on. But Neva had chosen Amsterdam for another specific reason. She’d told Michael about her bolt-hole here and part of her hoped he would come and find her.
She finds herself thinking of Michael now, as she often does. She’s still grieving his loss and her heart feels like it’s shattered in pieces. She still wishes he’d given her a fair hearing and toys with the idea of making contact again, knowing she won’t: she can’t bear further rejection.
What if he doesn’t reject you? she thinks.
That scenario passes behind her eyes. She sees Michael now, caring, warm, persuasive.
‘Come in and talk,’ he’d say, expressing concern. ‘Tell us your side.’ But she has no side. She didn’t do what she was accused of.
Neva stalls again on this thought. Did she?
To reassure herself that she hasn’t been compromised, Neva looks at her security footage again. She skips through seeing only normal activity.
‘I didn’t do it,’ she says aloud. ‘I’m not a sleeper agent.’
But the doubt remains as she resets the recordings and, aware that her own cameras pick up her every move, Neva begins her regular exercise routine.
She runs a mantra – one of her own making and not from the conditioning of the past – over and over in her mind as she works out.
I am strong. I am Neva. I am in control. I’m death for those who deserve it.