Janine searches through her encrypted email in search of news from Neva. It’s been weeks since she helped Neva hide Michael and they’ve had no contact since. She doesn’t know where Neva is or if she is still with Michael.
At the thought of Michael, Janine feels a burst of intense anger and frustration. Neva has feelings for the man: it is obvious. If Michael hadn’t come along, if he wasn’t around, perhaps Neva would have been able to see another place her heart could lie.
Part of her now wishes that she’d let the Network take him. But despite how she feels, Janine knows it is irrational to hold it against Neva that she doesn’t feel the same: Neva was never hers. But on some level, she’d hoped that her loyalty and admiration would be noticed. It hadn’t been. The thought stirs something in her that she is unused to: anger, jealousy and an onslaught of grief.
Janine is about to close her email when she finds something in her junk mail that shouldn’t be there. It’s from Kady.
Despite believing she is over this period in her life, there is a tight lurch in Janine’s chest. Kady had been important once. They’d shared so much, and Janine had thought she loved her. She stares at the subject line, Hi Babe, for a short time and then out of curiosity she opens the email.
Thought I’d catch up with you, Kady’s email says. What are you up to these days? Heard you quit your job and moved away.
Janine reads the email again. It’s a simple enquiry that could mean nothing at all. It’s been over a year since they last spoke, and Janine found her with another girl. At the time she’d been devastated. She’d never expected Kady to betray her like that. Even now, the thought of it still hurts. For a time the whole affair had run around her brain until she short circuited, got drunk and then picked up a man on a one-night stand. The breakdown hadn’t lasted long, and Janine had regretted the drunken fumbling and had soon forgotten the name of the man in question.
She reads Kady’s message again. Without contact with Neva she feels isolated. What harm can it do?
I’m in London now, she replies. Have another job. What are you doing?
Kady answers almost immediately. I’m in London too. Want to meet for a drink?
Janine stares at the screen. Her mind goes over the good and the bad and the intense loneliness she’d felt when Neva had disappeared from her life before. Kady had once stepped in and filled the breach. Despite how that had turned out, Janine is still open to friendship with her. After all, Neva might not be in touch for months or even years. If ever again. She just doesn’t know. But one thing she does understand is that she will be thrown back into that empty void with no friends, no home and no lover once Neva uses her again for whatever intrigue she’s involved with. It is all more depressing than it should be to someone in her position.
She emails Kady her new phone number. Known only by Neva. Within seconds the phone rings.
‘Hey,’ Janine says.
‘Hi beautiful. I missed you. Can you forgive a stupid tart for her mistakes?’ Kady says.
Janine feels breathless as she hears Kady’s voice. Yes, she still is under her skin. Perhaps as much as Neva is. But Janine holds back her giddy emotions: she doesn’t want to be hurt again. Not by Neva and not by Kady. Even so, curiosity gets the better of her. What does Kady look like now? Maybe she won’t find her attractive anymore? Surely then she can put this part of her life aside for good?
‘I’m up for a drink,’ Janine says, hoping that she doesn’t sound too interested.
After arranging to meet, Janine puts her phone down and closes her laptop.
She dresses, making more effort than usual. Her hair is dyed Neva’s colour at the moment, just in case she needs to double for her. It’s longer than usual, and she wears it down, over her shoulders. After she applies make-up, she finds a short, sexy dress to wear. She holds the dress up against her body and looks at herself in the mirror.
‘What are you doing?’ she says to her reflection. ‘She cheated on you, remember?’
The thought of seeing Kady again is such a diversion that Janine pulls the dress on anyway, enjoying the feeling as it hugs her curves. She could do with some relaxation after the last job with Neva, and Kady was always good at helping her do that. What real harm could it do?