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Plantonio woke us before sunset. After a quick meal of dried meat and bread, which did not settle well in my already tight stomach, we all joined him for ferrum practice. It felt good to stretch my muscles and work out the kinks of sleeping on the ground. Also, the concentration on the physical helped me avoid dwelling on the more pressing matters of the next few days. I gave myself over to the smooth movements of lunging and blocking an opponent’s imaginary weapon.
Because I was focusing on my form and a particularly painful knot in my back, Plantonio’s orders to pair off didn’t register in my brain until Korneli tapped my exposed ribs with the blunt side of his ferrum.
“My point.” He withdrew into a defensive stance, and we began to circle. “So, have you decided on what to do about Zez yet?” he asked, feigning to the left. I blocked him with ease but was less prepared for the immediate attack that followed. “She knows something is wrong.”
“What?” I barely blocked his slash. “What are you talking about?” His right arm was slightly too high, I lunged at the opening, but he effortlessly pushed my blade aside. “How do you know?”
“She came to me this morning and asked me what she had done to offend you.”
I dropped my guard in surprise. Korneli’s tip bumped my chest, but I ignored it. “She hasn’t offended me.”
“I know. I told Zez that. Now, are we going to practice or not.”
Reluctantly, I took up a defensive posture. Barely waiting for Korneli to center himself, I attacked with a barrage of strikes. If he was going to bring up sensitive topics during a practice drill, he deserved any bruises I gave him.
Although initially off kilter under my assault, Korneli held his own defense. I did manage to deliver a sharp slap to his shin with the flat of my ferrum and felt a slight surge of adrenaline when he visibly flinched.
“What was that for?”
“Distracting me.”
“Why would I need to distract you? You are so rusty that I could disarm you in minutes.”
I grimaced. It was true. I had not been keeping up with my practice time. We resumed our circling.
“You should commisceo with her, you know.”
“This is hardly the time to discuss it,” I replied and tested his defense with a few blows.
“It is the perfect time.” He stepped back, ferrum raised in the classic pose of defeat, despite the fact he was a point ahead of me. “If you work with her now, you might have a chance to be ready by the time we join the recruits. You won’t have time later. Or is that your tactic, delay until it isn’t an option?”
Anger rose in my chest. He was striking too close to the truth. Even as I realized that he was only making me confront my underlying motives for inaction, I wanted to lash out in my own defense. I wasn’t so weak that I had to hide behind inaction because I couldn’t decide and act. I saluted him.
Sheathing my ferrum, I turned and headed for my gear. I ignored the puzzled looks and Renato’s sent query. I wasn’t in the mood to explain my actions.
Plantonio took my abrupt departure from the practice as a sign that we needed to move out. The sky, blood red in the west, promised a clear night with stars to guide us. Within a half hour, we were on the trail again with Plantonio in the lead. A native of this part of the country, he traveled this back trail before. I trusted him to get us to the meeting place with speed and safety. I purposefully guided my horse into the second position and tried to project my desire for solitude.
Almighty, what do I do? As I reached out for His presence, my chest tightened. I did know part of His answer already. But everything my upbringing rebelled against the thought. Surely, you do not mean for me to lead her into battle, Lord. I protested. She is of the weaker gender. Everything I have been taught has been centered on protecting her. Allowing her to ride by my side into the thick of the fray would hardly be serving that purpose.
“You have to decide.” Korneli’s voice cut through my conversation as his mount drew alongside mine.
“What do you want from me, Korneli. A decision? Fine, I have decided. She will not be joining the fray on the battlefield.” I heeled my horse’s flanks. He increased his pace for a few strides and then settled back into a walk. Korneli joined me again.
“I want you to talk to me, Ilias.” Frustration laced his sending. “You have been too contained for too long, and the strain of it is showing. You need someone to talk to, consult with before committing to decisions. Someone who is an equal.”
“Are you volunteering for the job? You aren’t technically my equal.”
“But I am your friend.”
He let the statement hang between us. He was right. I did need someone to tell me if I was wrong, someone to prod me or offer alternative ideas. I couldn’t use Renato, our values were too different. I was used to using Zez as a listening ear, but I couldn’t exactly ask her about these decisions that affected her life. I couldn’t trust her to be objective. Maybe Korneli’s offer to listen was the Almighty’s answer to my prayer. I sighed. One thing that Korneli was right about, though, was that I was running out of time.
“Alright. What do you want to know?”
“Tell me why commisceo with Zezilia is out of the question.”
“First of all, she is vulnerable. She has already been attacked three times and not able to resist the assault. I can’t allow her in my head if she is going to become a weaker conduit into my own mind for any Elitist to use.”
“What happened with those attacks? Remember, I haven’t been with her since before she left Errol’s instruction.”
“First, right after we arrived at the high king’s palazzo in the goddess’ city, the sibley attacked her using a mental scream with a nasty backlash and tried to plant a directive in her thoughts.”
“They clearly underestimated her strength and abilities.”
“Not really. Errol hadn’t taught her about mental screams and her ConProp was what saved her.”
“I assume you educated her on how to deal with them in the future.”
I nodded. “But that was only the beginning. While in the Kings Council, an Elitist attacked her again. She had to ConProp to stop that one too, but not before he got past her outer defenses. Counting the attempt last night that is three times she has been compromised since joining my entourage. I cannot risk exposing her on the field of battle, let alone linking her to me.”
“Are you telling me that you haven’t taught her any new defense strategies since she has joined your aides?”
I glanced his way. There was very little light. I could barely make out the shadow of his form from the shifting shadows of the forest beyond. “What do you mean?”
“I am sure Neleck taught you more than Errol when he trained you and imparted the sacred secrets of the sept sonship to you. He wouldn’t have let you walk around with all the vital knowledge in your head without teaching you to defend it.”
I nodded. “He did teach me some permanent defenses; however, those are defenses that I can never remove from my mind. If I teach them to Zezilia, she would be able to hide an intention from me even in deep access.”
“Ah, but another couldn’t place an intention behind them. You would only be placing your trust in Zez, not in any assailant that tries to Sato her.”
He had a point. “But what about someone using her commisceo link to me to get into my mind?”
Korneli chuckled. “Just have her ConProp. It would effectively cut off anyone from her mind and the link.”
“Have you been in her mind when she ConPropped?” I asked.
“No, but from what Selwyn says, she can knock a man off his feet.”
“And he wasn’t commisceo-linked with her.”
“But you don’t know what will happen to you if she is commisceo-linked with you and ConProps. The only way you will know is if you try it.”
He had a point. “And my concerns about exposing her to battle?”
“Don’t.”
“It isn’t that easy.”
“It is. Look. You aren’t planning on being in the thick of the fight, right?” I felt his brief glance in my direction.
I bit my tongue regarding my premonitions that a deadly encounter loomed somewhere in my future. I wasn’t sure I wanted to express that even to him. It would make it seem too real. I didn’t want the extra protection. My defenders would increase my security if they found out that I was having dreams about dying in the battle to come.
“So, why would she be in harm’s way if she is going to be with you the whole time? I will say, though, that you really need to work on your ferrum skills until then if you plan on being prepared to defend her. I haven’t seen you this rusty in years.”
“I have been otherwise occupied,” I pointed out.
“Well, make it a priority or be ready to suffer the humility of Zez saving your life with her very capable ferrum. She is beginning to rival even Renato. They were really going at one another this evening.”
“How could you notice? You were humiliating me?”
Korneli laughed. “Let us just say you were really slow.” We rode in silence for a few moments. “So, have I convinced you?”
I reluctantly nodded. “I will teach her the defenses Neleck taught me.”
“And commisceo?”
I sighed. “I will ask her what she thinks about it.”
“Wise decision.”
As though sensing my desire to be alone, he eased back on the reins, guiding his horse to fall in behind. Dread gripped my stomach, twisting it. What had I committed to? I closed my eyes and reached out again to the Almighty. Perhaps He would soothe the anxiety in my heart.
––––––––
“He is avoiding me, Renato. I know I am not imagining things.” I frowned over at my brother, only a black shadow on a horse next to mine.
“He gets in these moods sometimes, especially right before making big decisions. It isn’t you, Sis. I am certain. He has been a bear for the past week. All that waiting back with the aegypti irritated him. Just give him a day or two to straighten things out in his head, and he will be back to normal. Well, at least he will be back to normal for him.”
I didn’t agree. “When was the last time he spoke to you?”
“Last night before I went to bed. Why?”
“The last words we exchanged were in the wagon when he examined my mind.”
Renato grunted. “That is hardly telling. He was giving orders, packing, and then leaving. We all were. And when we made camp, you were asleep before you even left the horse. This morning he barely spoke to any of us. Only Korneli has managed to get anything even close to resembling a conversation, and he is going to be limping for days because of it. You’re reading into things.”
We rode in silence for a while. My thoughts rushed through my head in a torrent, distracting me from every attempt at concentration. Then, just as I was trying for the third time to recite the passage I was memorizing from the Revelation, a rich, warm taste flooded my senses.
“Zez?” His sending was tentative and almost apologetic.
I responded with a welcome.
“I am sorry that I have been avoiding you.” He paused as though seeking the right words. “There was something crucial to decide, and I needed to pray.”
“Something about me?”
He hesitated. A brief struggle flickered across my senses. “Yes, it is concerning you. Can you join me up here?”
“Just a moment.”
“Hadrian wants to speak with me,” I informed my brother.
“See, he isn’t avoiding you.”
I debated telling him that Hadrian had just apologized to me for just that, but I decided not to. “He wants me to join him in front. I will be moving up.”
“Good luck. Hopefully, he has worked his way out of his mood.”
I didn’t bother to reply. Instead, I reached out for Korneli’s mind. Once his nutty taste lingered on the edges of my thoughts, I sent. “Hadrian wishes to speak with me.”
“Good.” He edged his horse off to the side of the trail to let mine pass. “Don’t let him avoid you again,” he sent and then abruptly withdrew his connection.
Using energy sight and the strange sensitivity I had to his presence, I brought my horse parallel to Hadrian’s. He turned his head to acknowledge my arrival but didn’t say anything. We rode this way for a few moments. I knew he wasn’t sending, but he was emoting on a level that I couldn’t ignore. I also couldn’t really identify the emotions as they washed over me. They were in such a jumble. Remembering Korneli’s words, I took a deep breath and reached out for his mind. “You wanted to speak with me?”
“Have you ever heard of commisceo?” He was nervous. The sensation came over our connection so strongly that I almost thought it was my own nerves.
“No.”
“It is the linking of two Talent minds in such a way that they can function as one and individually at the same time. Until two days ago, I thought that the practice was impossible in the modern times. It has been so long since it has been practiced that it has become a myth among the Talented. I wondered if your brothers or Errol had mentioned its existence to you.”
I shook my head. “Does this have something to do with what happened two nights ago?” I asked.
Surprise flickered across him. “Why do you ask that?”
I took a deep breath. “Well, something happened, or you wouldn’t have reacted the way you did.”
“Did you sense something different about the deep access?”
I tried to remember back. “It was more intense than the first time. I sensed that if I wanted to, I could have touched your thoughts.” I debated telling him about the intense feeling of isolation that had followed his break from my mind.
He nodded. “I brushed your angulus accidentally. Commisceo is basically the melding of two Talents’ anguli. When joined like this, the two can easily access each other’s thoughts, feelings, sensations, and sometimes manipulate the other’s physical movements. Because of the intimacy of the joining, Commisceo requires both Talents have a great deal of training and concentration.”
I frowned. My concentration was my weakest ability.
“The advantage of this technique is that the Talents can offset each other’s weakness. If you and I should commisceo, your increased power would be added to my years of experience and concentration training. However, it will also make us more vulnerable. If an enemy should attack and gain control of one of us, the other would follow. You are uniquely capable of dealing with this problem, though. You can willingly ConProp and break the connection without going through the elaborate steps need to do it the conventional way.”
“But what would happen to you? Selwyn was only in my externus, and I threw him quite a ways.”
“That is what we will have to work out if we decide to do this. I have no first-hand experience with this technique. No one living does.”
I nodded. “So, we will be forging new ground.” Something I should be familiar with.
“I want you to understand the risks before you make a decision. There are records of Commisceo driving men mad. Also, this is a deep intrusion into the Talent’s innermost being. All the records I have seen warn that commisceo changes those who use it. It isn’t clear if it is for the better or worse.”
Memories of the complete and devastating isolation I experienced two nights before were warning enough. What would I feel after a complete commisceo? I shivered. Could I handle it?
On the other hand, what if this was what I was here for? Was my purpose to be Hadrian’s hands and defense against the Elitist? I closed my eyes and reached for the Almighty. What should I do?
“Also,” Hadrian sent, “before we do this...if we do this, I am going to have to teach you a permanent defense to protect our connection and your knowledge of this skill. Once it is in place, you will never be able to remove it without damage to your brain and mental skills. Creating this kind of defense comes with its own inconveniences. And dangers. I know they seem small compared with the larger issue of commisceo, but I wanted to warn you. Neleck warned me.”
My eyes widened. “This defense would be something that Neleck taught you as part of your training as the sept son?”
“Yes. The knowledge of it would be stowed behind the defense as well should we decide to do this.”
Again I sought the Almighty. Is this it, Father? Is this my purpose?
Knowing the will of God was sometimes difficult. Everything pointed to Him having a purpose for me. I was doing as I was taught, “seek His will at every turn, keep your heart close to His with study and prayer, and He will show you the way.” I closed my eyes. Father, I want only Your will. An enveloping wave of peace fell over me. I was surprised by the intensity and the feeling of rightness.
“I understand if you want to pray about this before...”
I cut him off. “I am ready. It seems to be what the Almighty wishes. Where do we start?”
Relief mixed with apprehension flooded our connection. A bit confused, I turned to look at his face. His head was bent as though in prayer. I withdrew mentally to give him space, but I didn’t move my mount farther from his side. After a few moments, he lifted his head.
“We will begin with the defenses.”’