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Dawn broke in a torrent of rain. Hammering the tents, drowning my cot, and swamping the mess tent, it overwhelmed our already soggy resources.
“We have to win the battle now,” Korneli declared as he surveyed our sagging tent. “Either we will sleep in the mud or in the city tonight.”
“Or eternally with Him who holds our all of our futures in the balance.”
“There you go weaving death into the conversation.” Korneli adjusted his ferrum belt beneath his oilskin cloak. “Must you always be so grim?”
“Surely on the morning of a battle is the perfect time to add a reminder to my speech. Each of us needs to make sure our accounts are short with the Almighty.”
“Done and done.” Korneli offered his hand to me. “May the Lord give grace that we will meet again this side of glory, my brother.”
I grabbed his forearm and pulled him into an awkward embrace around our weapons and armor. Then he was gone, pulling his hood down over his eyes as he strode off into the driving rain.
My chest ached and the day had barely begun. “Please spare us or make it swift so that we might step instantly into your waiting arms, Almighty. Guide us that we may glorify you, Creator of all.”
“Pardon for my tardiness.” Renato squelched to a stop next to me. He shook out his cloak and cursed. “If only this wretched rain would stop.”
“It might turn to snow by evening,” I observed as one of Cayphis’ aides approached.
“Esteemed Sept Son, I bring a change in plans.” The aide bowed deeply to me. “The high king wishes you to meet your men behind the southwestern hill. You are to be the surprise reserve.”
“What about the western assault?” Renato demanded.
“Clovis is commanding a group of new arrivals.”
“Manvel’s men?” Hope lightened Renato’s voice.
The man nodded enthusiastically. “Yes, they rode in last night. Your men have been notified of the change.” He bowed again and left.
“At least we know where he is.”
Renato’s relief swept over me.
I smiled warmly in an attempt to encourage him. Something nagged me as being wrong. I peered in the direction the man had left.
“Where are those horses?” Renato muttered and rubbed his hands together to warm them against the dropping temperatures.
As though summoned by his words, the jangle of the approaching horses reached our ears. Three defenders approached leading five horses. After exchanging greetings and rechecking our gear, harnesses, and saddles, we mounted. Renato mentioned the change of plans to our escort. They had already been informed.
Satisfied that all was in order, I mentally withdrew and began the process of preparing for battle. Erecting temporary barriers took concentration. After months of conflict, Renato knew my routine. The defenders’ energy shields hummed on the outer borders of my energy sight, protecting all of us.
“Something isn’t right.” Renato straightened in his saddle and craned around to look behind us. “We should be hearing the drums by now.”
He was correct. I could barely hear the distant rapping of other regiments sounding off orders. We, however, were riding into the silence of a disturbed forest. The animals fled ahead of us. They should have already been gone if our men waited there for us.
“They are just over the next ridge.” The defender to my right pointed to where the rise crested. I knew from our earlier survey a deep bowled meadow lay beyond. In spite of being the perfect place to gather a regiment, I doubted we would find one when we rode over the crest.
“Renato—” I turned to ask him what he thought, but a sharp sting in my arm followed by the cold rush of something entering my veins interrupted me. More than stracken entered my veins. Oblivion encroached on my physical senses faster than my energy sight faded. Regardless, I had mere breaths before I would have no defenses. Scrambling to protect my mind, I gave up fighting to control my body. The sensation of falling demanded I pay attention. Too late, I tried to raise my hands to catch myself, but they didn’t respond. Pain registered dimly as my body landed and rolled.
Someone above me laughed and said something. I couldn’t understand the words, but there was no mistaking the face that bent over me. Vander?
––––––––
A knock at the door interrupted my morning study time in the Revelation. I reluctantly turned my attention from the wisdom I sought and glanced at the morning sunlight outside my window. I expected Ariana to appear for a lesson this morning, but not this early. Perhaps she needed to discuss something she had read.
Whispering a quick apology to the Almighty, I rose and dressed. A second knock sounded, this one a bit more urgent. I hurried from my bedchamber to the front of the cottage.
“Is something wrong, Ari?” I asked as I opened the door, only to look up into a face that was far too masculine to be my student. “Emil?”
“Hi, beautiful.” He grinned and then winced when the skin pushed against the healing cut above his cheekbone.
“You should be in bed.”
“Nothing wrong with me aside from a few bruises. You saw to that.”
“You need rest.”
“I have had enough resting to not sleep for a month. What do you think I was doing while I was keeping away from those satoes?” He looked over my shoulder. “You going to ask me in?”
“No.” I grabbed my cloak from the hook just inside the doorway, stepped out onto the stoop, and pulled the door closed behind me. “Inviting a man inside would be completely inappropriate.” I thrust one arm beneath the cloak and struggled to slide the whole thing over my shoulders.
“Good point.” He lifted the cloak and draped it over my shoulders. “Hadrian would have my skin if I did anything unsuitable.”
“What are you doing here?” I swatted his hands away from the catch when he tried to close it beneath my chin.
“I am just trying to figure out how to say thank you to the woman who saved my life.”
I rolled my eyes and straightened to my full height. Unfortunately, Hadrian’s brothers, including Emil, shared his trait of being abnormally tall. The thought of Hadrian sent a jolt of longing through me. I missed him.
“Waking her at an extremely early hour is such a grand gesture.”
He laughed. “Are you always this pleasant in the morning?”
“Only when a patient of mine doesn’t follow orders.”
“Oh, so that is what made you grumpy. You worry about my health.” He softened the lines of his face, slipping into an obviously practiced look of innocence. “If you walk me back to my room, I will stay there like a good boy.”
“Can’t.” I pulled the heavy wool material closer about me as the wind picked up again.
“Nonsense.”
“Truth. My student is due here in an hour and I need to fix and eat a meal before then.”
He brightened. “I haven’t eaten breakfast. Perhaps—”
“No.”
He started to pout, but I looked away. “Go back to your room. I am sure the nurse on duty will bring you a hot breakfast to rival your wildest dreams.” Defenders tended to be admired by everyone, and injured veterans were spoiled by the young female nurses.
“But—”
I opened the door without turning around. Backing up, I slid halfway inside. “Now go, before I summon someone.”
“Fine.” He stepped back. “Promise I will see you later today?”
“No promises.” I slipped the rest of the way inside and closed the door with a sharp click.
––––––––
A half hour later, Ariana arrived. She breezed in the door with a happy greeting and swept off her cloak. Joining me at the work table, she placed her books at her usual place and sat down. “There is a handsome man sitting right outside your door.”
I lifted my attention from the passage I was reading on teaching mass-moving. Her face glowed, but that could have been from the chill in the air. “Did he introduce himself?”
“He said something about being a patient of yours and needing to have a promise before he left. I couldn’t make heads or tails of it, but he did look very chilled.”
I groaned. “I told him to go back to the healing wards.” Shoving away from the table, I stood to my feet.
“Be nice to him, Zez. He is awfully handsome, despite the nasty bruises and that cut.” She opened her Code book and started reading with much more intensity than necessary.
“I am not interested in him.”
“I know.” She met my gaze with eyes that nearly danced with amusement. “But the sept son isn’t here. He would never know. Besides, he is—”
“Handsome, you said.” I frowned. “And you are married.”
“It is hard not to notice things sometimes.”
I headed toward the door into the gardens. Upon opening it, I didn’t even wait for Emil to acknowledge me. “You need to leave.”
He did look cold huddled there. “I want a promise that I will see you later today.”
“I have a shift this afternoon. I check on all my patients then.”
“Promise.” He smiled slightly.
Despite it all being an act, he did have a way about him. “I will come and see you. Now go.”
He stood slowly and started off down the path. I waited until he turned the corner onto the main way before closing my door and returning to my lesson with Ariana.
An hour later, after we reviewed all of her memory work, Ariana interrupted our lesson.
“Why aren’t you interested in that man?” She regarded me with complete honesty.
“What do you mean?” My thoughts were still full of my plans for how to introduce her to mass-moving. I held out hope that she would be particularly talented at it considering her sensitivity my energy use.
“He holds good standing in the community. Defenders aren’t allowed to do anything else. From what I have heard, the ranks of the defenders are best picks for husband material. Do you wish to marry someday?”
“The job is stressful with a lot of time away from family. The risk of death alone should disqualify them.” I slid my books aside to make room for the wad of paper I intended to use for her next lesson.
Ariana didn’t immediately respond. Only when I had arranged everything the way I wanted it did I look up to find her studying me.
“But that isn’t it.” She frowned as she scanned my face. “No. There is someone else. Is he a defender too? Is he at the front?”
I closed my eyes to hold back the unexpected tears that pressed at my eyes. News from the front the day before had indicated a massive and decisive battle. The healing wards were preparing for an influx of injured, but all I could think about was Hadrian. Was he taking care of himself? Was he safe? Would he be in the middle of the fighting or off at a distance? I sent a quick and silent pray on his behalf to the Almighty.
“Oh, how could I be so blind?” Ariana’s cry of dismay jolted me. She grabbed my hands across the table. “You are in love with the sept son.”
“I—”
“No. There is no use denying it. I have seen your face when someone says his name.” She grinned. “That explains it! You aren’t interested in that young man because you—”
“Love his brother.” I stated it flatly.
Ariana’s mouth fell open. “That man was the sept son’s brother?”
If my own heart wasn’t aching, I might have been amused by her surprise.
“That was Emil, one of the sept son’s older brothers.”
“How many of them have you met?”
“Two, and both of them are defenders.” Selwyn’s re-entry into the ranks of defenders was a point of contention between Errol and I. Selwyn hadn’t wanted to rejoin, but Errol had pressed until he got his way.
Her eyes widened. “You are well connected.”
Part of me wanted to point out that I was the daughter of a kingly house and one-time personal defender to Hadrian himself, but that didn’t seem right to throw such qualifications around.
“There is no family ranking among the Talented.”
“Of course.” She paled slightly and lowered her eyes.
I instantly regretted my comment. Her background as an Elitist would make her highly sensitive to rank. I gathered the books to finish clearing the table, then settled the last of them in their places on the shelf as she spoke.
“I miss him, my husband.”
I turned to find her rubbing her distended abdomen. She hid her condition so well with layers of loosely draped clothing that I forgot at times that she was pregnant.
“Lorrium promised to come for me before this one was born. But now, I am here and he has no way of knowing where I am. I don’t even know if he is alive.” Tears gathered in her eyes. “Lotus says he is probably dead.”
“Lotus can have a cruel tongue.”
“But she is right.” Lifting a tear-drenched gaze to meet mine, she visibly tried to control her trembling chin.
I crossed the room to pull her into a tight hug. “Do you have a friend among the other women at least?”
She shook her head. “They don’t speak with me. I am not like them. They were stolen, but I was not. I fell in love. When I came here after the great battle, my parents visited. The Talent officials let them take away my children. I married my husband willingly without my parents’ permission and without being mind-altered. My parents fear I will raise my boys to be Elitists. They would have taken this little one too, if they could have.”
She caressed her stomach and looked up at me pleadingly. “My husband is not the monster they say. He loves me and our children and would never took a second wife. His father tried to make him, but he refused.” Tears filled her eyes again. “He never did those terrible things that they say the others did.” Quiet sobs shook her shoulders as she hid her face in her hands.
I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t think of anything appropriate. She searched for something I couldn’t give her. All I could do was rub her back gently and try to be comforting.
“I will be your friend,” I offered. The hope in her eyes reassured me that I had helped a bit. “I will speak to Errol. Perhaps there is some way we could get your children back.”
“You think so?”
Her instant joy made me panic. “I will ask him if there is a way.”
“Thank you!” She threw her arms around me and hugged fiercely.
Considering her emotional state, I decided that we would skip the mass-moving lesson for that day. Neither one of us were mentally prepared for that much concentration. Instead, I asked her if she would join me in visiting Emil. “You can act as chaperone,” I suggested.
She laughed at the suggestion, but agreed readily enough. So we set off toward the healing wards.
Madame Arnata passed us as we entered by the main double doors.
“You’re early.” She nodded to Ariana. “Good. We have three new arrivals and all of them need your attention. Plus, Defender Aleron has been asking about you.” Her forehead wrinkled. “I thought you cleared him.”
“I did. No remaining satoes as far as I detected, and he is fully in control of his talent abilities as well.”
She pursed her lips briefly. “Run him through his paces. If he is whole and fit, I want him out of the ward. We need the space for the injured. The high king’s forces should be marching on the goddess’ city as we speak. The first casualties will probably arrive in three days’ time. We still have to stock up on our supplies and empty as many beds as we can.” She shouldered her way through the doors and disappeared outside.
My stomach dropped.
Ariana caught my hand in a gentle squeeze. “I’m sure he will be fine.”
Almighty, please protect him.
“Defender Ilar.” A familiar voice called out from the far end of the long corridor. I turned to find Anonto Aleron striding toward me. “Madame Arnata said I should speak to you.”
“Oh?”
“As acting head of the mind-healers department you are the one who would decide whether or not I can join the staff of healers.”
I stared up at him for a full minute, digesting the title I didn’t even know I had. While I tried to process this new information, he continued on as though I had asked him for his credentials.
“I served as a defender for twelve years before retiring. My service as the sept son’s personal defender required I have extensive background in the mind-warfare you are battling. I know how to identify satoes and if you just teach me how to remove them, I am certain I can be of great use to you, especially considering the current need.”
I managed a nod. “We do need help.” With three new patients and four I had done nothing but observe and stabilize over the past few days, I felt overwhelmed.. “Madame Arnata said I was head of the mind-healing department?”
He smiled. “Necessity can bring all kinds of changes.”
“I am not sure I am able to keep pace with this rate of change, though.” I motioned toward where I usually picked up my uniform. “Let me prepare and pick up my patient board and I will meet you in your son’s room.”
“That is the other thing I mentioned to her. Emil is healing and well. We would like to move him to our guest quarters where we can take care of him. It would free up a bed.”
“I was planning on discharging him this afternoon.” I chose not to mention his early morning antics. “The satoes were the only issues and, now that they are removed, he should be all set.”
“I will go speak to him and Honora.” Without another word, Anonto started back the way he had come.
I turned, intending to start my routine. Ariana blocked my way. She had been standing behind me, whether to shield herself from Anonto or just because she hadn’t moved I couldn’t tell.
“I can see the family resemblance. Are they all that tall?”
“All the Alerons I have met have been.”
She seemed to chew on this as she followed me back to the cloak room. “Do they know you are in love with the sept son?” she asked when we were once again alone.
Panic stole my breath. “No. They can’t know! Hadrian doesn’t even know.” I caught her shoulder. “Please don’t mention it to anyone.”
“You haven’t even confessed to him?” Her eyes widened. “No wonder you are struggling so.”
I already regretted telling her. Speaking with Hadrian was the least of my concerns.
“Don’t worry so much.” She smiled. “Your secret is safe with me.”
I prayed it would be. I needed to discuss the new change in my feelings with Hadrian before anyone else, but it wasn’t something I could confess in a letter that my older brother might be reading out loud to who knew how many strangers. Suddenly, all I wanted to do was go back to my room, climb into bed, and not come out until Thermea, when the plants turn green again.
One of the nurses rushed through the room, shedding a soiled apron as she went. “One of your new patients just started screaming; Madame is in a snit. I would get on that before she hears him.” Grabbing a fresh apron from the pile, she swept back out the door again.
I pulled my uniform over my head and grabbed my board from its nail. “Come, Ariana, I think you will be able to help more than I thought.” We dashed out into the corridor and followed the shouts to my incoming patient.
Emil greeted Ariana and me with a grin as we entered his room an hour or more behind schedule.
I tucked the stray hairs back into my braids and smiled at his mother. “Sorry to keep you waiting, Honora. We have been waylaid a few times.”
Emil’s mother waved away my apology. “It isn’t as though he really needs this visit. He has already proven himself well enough to discharge, especially considering his escape this morning.”
“Mother!” Emil’s protest struck me as half-hearted at best. “I was half-starved by the time I returned.”
I didn’t look his way, focusing on his chart on my board instead.
“It is your own fault.” She patted his knee. “You should have had sense to wait until after breakfast before sneaking off to visit your sweetheart.”
“I wish she was my girl, mother. The lady won’t even acknowledge that I am alive.” “Will you?” He sent the last bit at me.
Ariana nudged my elbow.
Ignoring the both of them, I smiled at Honora. “I will just have to check him one more time for any changes before I send you both on your way.”
Pulling a small ball from my pocket, I tossed it at Emil. I kept the motion gentle though I felt like whipping it at his head. “Catch.”
The ball stopped at the highest point of its arc. I could sense his energy field holding it in place.
“Return it to my hand.”
He complied.
“Why won’t you look at me?” he asked. Even his sending sounded a bit like a whining child.
I pocketed the ball. “Open your mind, please. I need one last look around.”
“Of course.”
“Why don’t you like me?” he sent the moment I passed into the outer layers of his mind.
“It isn’t that I don’t like you.” I slipped into his medius, the oppressive sensation of otherness growing at the back of my head along with the overwhelming taste of oranges. “You make me uncomfortable.”
His surprise was palatable. “I do tend to come on strong at times.”
I pushed at one of his defenses. He opened it for me without hesitation. All signs indicated his skills were functioning normally. I retreated promptly.
“You appear to be fully recovered.”
“See, I told you it would be okay, Mother.” Emil offered her a lopsided grin. “Won’t give up.”
“I figured.” I signed off on the bottom of his chart and smiled at his mother. “He is all yours, Honora.”
I offered my hand, but she by passed it to wrap me in a warm hug. “Thank you again, Zezilia, for everything.” Her embrace made me feel accepted and appreciated. My arms came up and returned the hug with a hunger that I hadn’t realized was there. After months of isolation, this sudden connection via touch shook me to my core. I missed being part of a family, being loved. In the middle of a crowded compound community, I was lonely. I didn’t want the hug to end, but it had to.
After squeezing my shoulders gently, she leaned back and smiled warmly. “You have done so much for our family. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” It seemed so inadequate and awkward, but I could think of nothing else to say.
I left her and Emil in the process of preparing him to leave. Ariana followed after me in blessed silence, giving me the opportunity to regain my equilibrium.