Gabriel
“What is that doing here?” Sir Jeremiah swung his long sword in an arc over his head and pointed it at Cassia.
We had just arrived in Jerusalem, at the hospital run by the Order of Saint John. The journey had taken longer than I’d liked because Cassia insisted on traveling on our own. She didn’t have money for the trip, so she exchanged services for lodging on every step of the journey. I observed that we could travel with the ships full of Crusaders heading to the Holy Lands, but she refused. I didn’t mind the journey, especially not spending it in her company, but performing tasks solely to secure our own comfort, rather than to benefit humanity, chafed at me.
I had assumed we would be welcomed with open arms at the hospital, especially given the Knight Hospitaller garb I had created for myself, but I had overestimated their need for assistance, if the response of Sir Jeremiah, the tall, broad knight in charge of duty allocation, was any indication.
Cassia, for her part, seemed to be taking the weapon aimed at her chest in stride. In fact, given her serene face, she seemed to have expected it.
“Put down your weapon!” I placed my hand atop the blade and pushed with enough weight to lower the sword, should Sir Jeremiah give way. He did, but his sword hand remained grasped on the hilt. “She’s here to help! Her name is—”
“Kalijah. My name is Kalijah.” She raised her hands in the universal symbol for innocence. “I met Sir Gabriel a few days back. He had lost his way, and, as you can see, I am native to these parts.”
I felt as though someone had punched me in the gut. In all my excitement of coming here, I had forgotten that Cassia was native to the Holy Lands, long before they were holy. Her dusky skin and shining black hair marked her not as an aid to the Knights, but as an enemy combatant. No wonder she didn’t want to travel with the Europeans. I couldn’t believe I had led her into the territory of people who might well want to kill her.
As I stood there, flummoxed, she continued her story. “Sir Gabriel told me about the wonderful building you created here, this hospital, this house of healing. I wanted to see it for myself. For all my life, I have wanted to heal, and he told me if I came to assist, I could learn.”
I listened to the lies roll off her tongue and realized she must have prepared for this. She knew what her reception would be, and she had come up with a story. I had long since reconciled myself to her lies—she could hardly tell the world who she really was—but I couldn’t believe she would knowingly put herself in danger. And for what? To come with me?
I looked down at her, and my breath caught. She looked up at me as if I were the sun she was seeing for the first time after living a life underground. For a moment, I almost believed she was the local village girl who had met a beautiful stranger who’d offered her life’s wish.
“I’m supposed to believe this?” Sir Jeremiah still held his sword at the ready. “That you’re willing to jump in and help the enemy in a war…”
Cassia’s expression darkened. “Am I happy you are here? No. I’m not pleased that you Christians have come to destroy my home on the word of some God you claim is just and good. But both sides are hurt in these battles, and I don’t want anyone to suffer. Christian or Muslim, I don’t care. I will help the wounded.”
Sir Jeremiah’s scowl abated just a bit, as if her candor convinced him. If only he knew how little truth it held. “I don’t know—”
A buxom woman with long hair a tad too dark to be called blond scurried into the room. She glanced at Cassia and me, took a few more steps, then stopped and stared at us. “Is this all we have in the way of new recruits? I thought we were guaranteed another ten knights at least.”
Sir Jeremiah rubbed his forehead, and his sword arm relaxed. “They may still be on their way. Sir Gabriel here got separated from his party. He ran into Miss…”
“Kalijah,” Cassia supplied.
“…Kalijah here, and she claims she wants to help us, too. I’m trying to decide whether I believe her.”
“What’s to believe?” The woman picked up a pile of bandages from the table. “Our beds are nearly full, and we could get more soldiers from the front any hour now. If she says she wants to help, let her help. You said Sir Gabriel vouched for her.”
“Yes, well, I’m not sure I trust Sir Gabriel, either.” Sir Jeremiah sighed and sheathed his long sword. “And where will the woman stay? The barracks are for men only.”
“Pish.” The woman stood in front of Cassia and looked her up and down. “You look like a good type. I’m sure Sir John—my husband, dear—will let you stay with us. We could use more women around here.”
Sir Jeremiah’s face reddened. “Fine. You want to help, you can help. But know I’ll be watching you. Both of you.”
I hated how little emotional reaction I had to his mistrust. Almost everywhere I went, humans doubted my altruism. I had come to almost expect it.
Sir Jeremiah nodded toward the woman. “Josephine here will tell you where to get settled. I’ll give you your assignments come morning.”
Josephine clucked her tongue. “Don’t mind Sir Jeremiah. Overworked, he is. Now, I’ve got to get these bandages over to Sir Charles, but then I’ll be right back to get you settled.”
Josephine bustled out of the room, and as soon as the last of her skirts swished out the door, I grabbed Cassia’s arm and whirled her around to face me. “You knew they would see you as an enemy here!” A hot and tempestuous feeling I had suppressed during the interview with Sir Jeremiah boiled up in my chest. “You knew, and you didn’t say anything.”
Cassia didn’t meet my eyes, a difficult task, considering how close we were. She muttered something I couldn’t make out.
“What?” I shook her arm a bit. “I didn’t hear you.” Anger. That’s what I’m feeling. Anger. I hate being angry.
Cassia jerked her head up to look at me, a glint in her eyes. “You wouldn’t have brought me if you knew, and I wanted to come.”
She’s angry. I couldn’t see why. She was the one who had kept secrets from me and put herself in danger. “Of course I would have told you to stay home! It’s not safe for you here!”
I took a deep breath, picturing the air flowing through me, relaxing my tensed muscles and slowing my pounding heart.
“I’m here now.” Her voice had relaxed into its usual calm alto. “And they’re going to let me stay, so let’s go ahead as we planned. Save the world and all that.”
“Okay.” I felt my jaw unclench. “Okay. We’ll stay. It’ll be fine. We’ll be together.” Together. I could already feel the joy of my nature flooding back into me.
Cassia smiled in return, but the lift of her mouth seemed forced, and I noticed a few tension lines around her eyes. My gaze followed hers to where my hand still held her arm, and I realized my grip was harder than I intended. I tore my hand away, and her expression softened, though it still appeared pained.
“Together,” she repeated. “That’s all I want.”