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KAYLA
We played at the beach until the moon reached high overhead. Finally, we couldn’t wait anymore and it was time to go inside to bed. He followed, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around his waist. I loved how in Hawaii I never got cold. Even when it rained it was still warm.
Not like in the North West when it looked sunny and beautiful, but was still frigid. Appearances could be deceiving.
I climbed into bed, and Dylan, true to his word, put himself into the sleeping area he’d created for himself.
Selfish. I was so selfish. I looked across the expanse of the King mattress and realized I was only on one side. What kind of a friend was I? Forcing him to sleep on the floor because I was suddenly nervous things might go somewhere. I didn’t want them to go anywhere. I didn’t want to give him a false impression.
Why did I feel disappointed that he hadn’t pushed it? I wasn’t allowed to think with my hormones. That was something I decided a long time ago.
Things were easy between us. I loved how comfortable we were around each other. But as soon as the idea came into my head that he might actually have expectations for me, I felt things become awkward. I hadn’t changed in front of him like I usually would, and I hadn’t wanted him to watch me brush my teeth or get ready for bed. In the past, it never really mattered because we were so comfortable with each other.
I couldn’t lose the easiness. I opened my mouth to tell him again that we would never work as a couple but the steady pattern of his breathing in the silence of the room assured me he was asleep. He was comforting to have around. He was so steady.
I needed steady.
Nothing could ruin that.
~~~
THE NEXT MORNING DAWNED bright and sunny as it always did in Hawaii. Dylan and I grabbed bagels and donuts from the continental breakfast buffet in the lobby.
“Let’s go to the Coconut Marketplace today. You always wanted to get a toe ring.” Dylan took a drink of his orange juice and then placed it on the table. I had always wanted to get a toe ring. They were different in Hawaii. They were sized to fit your toe and they didn’t come off. Other ones around the country were available as open rings that could be easily sized to fit anybody. The ones in Hawaii were the ones I always wanted.
Luckily for me, Dylan remembered the smallest things. I smiled at his thoughtfulness. “Okay, thank you. That sounds fun.”
We walked together toward the Coconut Marketplace which was an open mall. The jewelry shop had a sign that said closed for the holiday.
I looked at Dylan and cocked my head to the side. “Is it a holiday?”
“I’m not sure. We’ll have to ask.” We turned back toward the condos and held an easy pace as we walked. He bent down and picked up a stray palm frond and tossed it to the side of the sidewalk. “Is there anything else you want to do today?”
I shrugged. I was feeling a lot better and I was interested in getting the trip underway.
“Are you feeling up for anything adventurous? We could check out the Nepali coast and go snorkeling. Or we could go to the rope swing out by the cane fields. If you’d rather keep it more relaxed, we could walk around Princeville and get lunch up there or we can go to Waimea Falls. Obviously, we have a ton we could do.” Dylan turned and walked backwards with our slow pace.
I laughed, reaching out and pushing against his shoulder. “You sound like a tour guide. I’m fine with whatever. What do you want to do?” We both enjoyed similar things. Whatever he picked that day, I wouldn’t be disappointed.
“Let’s just go to the Nepali coast. It’ll be fun just to spend some time together.” He looked at me with hooded eyes and a tremor of anticipation shivered through me.
If I pretended that he understood we were just friends, everything would be fine. Everything would be normal. If I acted like friends and kept everything the way it was always supposed to be, then he would pick up on my hints and wouldn’t push this.
Maybe I could convince myself of that. But did I have enough time before my defenses crumbled underneath his pressure?