I….
The pain has stopped, my brain’s connection with my nerves having failed. Small consolation since all my other systems and organs are going right along with it, but at least I can concentrate on Kelly’s voice, take some small comfort from that despite the fact that I know this is destroying her. She’s safe behind the research facility’s shields. I won’t drag her into death with me.
And I’m heading there very soon.
The double ironies are not lost on me. A couple of hours ago, I would have welcomed this end. Now, listening to Kelly sob over our comm connection, I would give anything to stay. But I’ve already given everything I have.
Then there’s the fact that I’m the Storm’s premier soldier, and I’m about to die from being struck by lightning. I can’t even muster up a smile for that one.
I have no idea how much time has passed. With VC1, I could access my internal clock with a thought, but now, it could have been minutes or hours since the lightning struck.
I hope it’s not still Kelly’s birthday. I don’t want her to always associate my death with what should be a happy day for her. It’s got to be past midnight by now.
A pressure builds in my chest and head. It doesn’t hurt exactly, but I get the feeling it would hurt if my nerves were still connected to my brain. Tighter and tighter it grows, constricting my heart so that I feel its pounding against my rib cage and in my skull, a constant drumbeat getting louder and louder. It’s been hard to breathe since we crashed, but now it’s nearly impossible to force air through my lungs. I keep doing it because it’s what I’m supposed to do, because I no longer want to die, but it’s a losing battle.
It occurs to me that I haven’t heard Kelly for a while. Death is close. I’m alone.
“Kel?” I whisper, hoping the mics pick up my faint voice. “I’m scared, Kel.” I want to kick myself for saying that out loud, because I know what it will do to her, but I can’t help it. In these last moments, I know she’ll forgive me for thinking of myself.
“I’m here, Vick. I’m with you. Part of me will always be with you, and you with me.” A pause. “Vick?” she calls back. There’s a note of confusion in her tone. “Is this… an engagement ring?”
Oh.
My failed attempt to give her the ring at the party floods back to me. It seems like forever ago. And the ring was still in my dinner jacket pocket—the dinner jacket she’s wearing.
“Um, yeah,” I say. The pressure’s still building. I don’t have much time.
“It’s so beautiful. This is what… on the dance floor, when Rachelle pulled me away… were you going to ask me to marry you?”
“Yeah,” I say, straining to draw breath. One-syllable words. That’s about all I can manage.
“I wish you had,” Kel says in a small voice. “Could you…? Would you… ask me now?”
“Kel….” The drumbeat of my heart would deafen me if it were external. Every piece of my body screams this is bad, bad, so very bad.
“Please?”
She stayed with me, all the way to the end. I won’t deny her last request of me, even though I recognize it for the distraction it is. It works. In this moment, I’m not as focused on dying as I am on getting out the words she wants to hear. I take the deepest breath I can manage, which isn’t nearly deep enough. “Kel, would you mar—” Something in my chest bursts. The pounding drumming stops.
One more breath. I need one more breath to finish my proposal.
There are no more.