Libby found herself in a bed with raised rails on either side. She was back in the United States in a modern hospital, watching doctors and nurses bustling about here and there going about their business with quiet efficiency. She looked down at her hospital-issued gown and wondered why she was there. What could be wrong with her? Libby examined her arms and legs and ran her hands over her stomach and face. There were no cuts or casts and no tubes hooked up to her, so she lay there puzzled for a moment trying to decide what to do next.
She felt amazing once she had gone through the cleanse, though the process had been more horrible than she could have ever anticipated. It had felt bleak and she had been extremely ill. Libby had cried and screamed and felt all kinds of horrible things coming out of her. Perhaps the worst part was the smell that came out of the pores in her skin, which just added to the overall sensation of sickness. But of all the horrible feelings, Libby remembered with a shudder, the sense of being unloved and alone was the worst. She laid there for what seemed like a month, though she had been assured by Etaina when she woke up that it had been only five days and she had never once been alone.
A nurse glanced her way and, noticing she was alert, turned to the nearest doctor and said, “Elizabeth is awake, Sir.”
The doctor glanced up from his clipboard and went toward Libby’s bed at once.
“Yes, wonderful! And it is about time,” he said cheerfully.
Something in his voice sounded familiar to Libby. As the doctor walked toward her bed, Libby noticed he had a white mask attached to each ear that covered his mouth and nose and that he had a typical surgeon’s cap on his head. When he neared her bed, his hand reached out to pull down one side of the mask, leaving it dangling from one ear.
An exuberant squeal flew out of Libby.
“Daddy, what are you doing here? You’re not a doctor . . . are you? Why am I here?”
Libby’s dad crawled right onto the bed, sat beside her, and wrapped his arms around her.
“Today I am, Libbs. You are here because I have broken your heart and I am here to try my best to heal it.”
Libby began to sob so loudly that several of the workers and other patients looked up for a split second. A nurse hurried over and pulled the curtain around the bed.
“Libby, I am so sorry that I left your mother and you. I know I have not been much of a father the last several years. I have been so busy trying to prove I am something special by working all of the time and I haven’t been there for you or your mom. I have felt like such a failure all these years because I am just a normal guy and not some high and mighty rich nobleman. No matter how hard I’ve tried, I just can’t become wealthy and successful like I’ve wanted to for you.”
“All I have ever wanted is you, Daddy. I have missed you so much,” Libby sniffed.
“I forgot what really matters in life. You matter to me. Your mom matters to me. It has been hard to love anyone when I had no idea how to accept myself just how I am. Will you forgive me Libby? Will you give me another chance to try again? You have every right to be angry with me and I know I won’t be perfect but I do love you.”
“Yes, Daddy,” Libby said through sobs that racked her whole body. She clung to him as though he might disappear any second.
“I thought you didn’t want me and that my being born was a mistake. How could you leave me if you wanted me? I’ve felt so alone.”
“Libbs, honey . . . this is one hundred percent about me failing as a father to love you the way you need to be loved. I have always wanted you. Every single day I’ve been gone I’ve missed you and thought of you. There is not anyone on the planet quite like you, Sweetie, and if I could choose any daughter from any who has ever lived, I’d choose you every time.” Tears came down his cheeks. It was the first time Libby had ever seen her father cry.
“I am only human, Libbs, and I know I will make mistakes, but I will do my best just to be your dad from now on.”
As Libby took in his words and as she let her heart truly forgive him, she felt joy all the way down to the tips of her toes and back again. The anger that had begun to turn her heart to stone melted as each of his tears fell. She opened her heart to receive the truth that she was indeed worthy of love and not alone.
She and her father cried and sat in silence together. She was too content to tell him about the adventure she had begun and somehow not finished. Nothing was on her mind but sitting in her father’s arms, receiving the affection and complete devotion that he was giving her. Her father allowed her to rest in the silence before he brought up how she came to be in a hospital bed in the United States.
“Libbs, you are having a dream right now. Actually, I was told I am having this dream, too, though I don’t get how any of this works. I just know this time with you is the greatest gift I could ask for. You need to know, though, that the words I have said to you are real and true. I promise you that. There is someone else you must meet. I had the pleasure of meeting him before I was sent in here to see you.”
“Daddy, I don’t want you to leave again,” Libby said.
“Libby, you don’t need to worry. I’ve been told that if everything goes right, I won’t remember this dream, but you will. I’ve also been told that everything is different now and that you are going to be okay.”
Libby remembered how Chwillen had told her and the boys that they would remember each detail of their encounter with the otherworld, but that their parents would not. She squeezed her eyes tight to savor the moment she had just had with her father.
“Libby I will say, “See you soon,” instead of goodbye. Remember, whatever happens, I love you.”
In that instance her father was gone and the nurse who had shut the curtain popped in with a smile.
She simply said, “Close your eyes now, Child, and your adventure will continue.”
Libby did.
***
Libby knew she was dreaming this time. She felt inwardly alert but her eyes were so heavy that she did not open them. Her entire body felt warm and wonderful.
A glow entered the room that she could sense through her eyelids. It reminded her of times when she had laid on the beach with her eyes closed and could still see a bit of the light of the sun because it shown so brightly.
“Hello, Elizabeth.”
“Are you the Swift Sure Hand we’ve heard about?” Libby asked without speaking, knowing somehow that she would be heard.
“You may call me that.”
His words were like the comforting babbling of a brook and she felt sunshine stir in her insides.
“Elizabeth, you have a choice to make today. You may go back to life as you know it and that will be enough. I will not be disappointed in you. I will still give you the gift of your father’s changed heart no matter what you decide. It is a free gift and you will never need to earn it or give it back.
However, you have not yet completed your mission, and Ian and Reese need you in order to complete theirs. It is your decision if you want to receive the Awen and finish what you were brought here to do or not. But if you do receive it, you will be forever changed.“
“It really doesn’t seem like I have much of a choice if you say they need me. Why did you let me see my father for such a short time if I have to stay in Mag Mell and fight this darkness?”
Libby was a little embarrassed. She knew it couldn’t possibly be proper to talk to the Lord of the otherworld in this manner.
“First, you always will have a choice,” said the voice like liquid honey. “Secondly, you could not go on and grow up to be the young lady that you were meant to be without first knowing your father’s love for you. Something would always be slightly broken, and if you receive the fullness of the Awen with such brokenness it would be more of a burden than a gift, not only to others but also to you.
“Should you choose to accept the Awen here, you will be given the ability to know and to see things that others do not. Sure, you will not be able to see everything, but it will be a very great gift all the same. It is an ability that you will come into the fullness of right away, but it will take a lifetime to learn fully. Now that you have met with your father you will be able to use the information for the good of yourself and others and not for harm,“ spoke the Sure Hand.
“You’re saying that all of that comes from one meeting with my father?” Libby asked.
“It was no mere meeting, Elizabeth. It was everything.”
Libby grinned and her eyelids danced slightly. She knew it was true.
“What is your decision, Libby?”
“I choose to receive the Awen and to help Ian and Reese,” came her reply.
“Then receive, Elizabeth Catherine Mueller.”
With that a song burst forth from his being into hers—a swirling, twirling song that did indeed feel like a hand placing something inside of her chest. It was as though a garden was springing into existence where there had been none. Her emotions began to change and she took note that she was beginning to think less as a child and more as a woman, though it would have been hard to explain to anyone what that meant.
It felt like it was at once instantaneous and an eternity. Her very soul felt full, like it had consumed a fabulous feast, yet she was ravenous for more.
“Elizabeth, I am pleased with you,” was the last ring of the song and the only piece she could remember when she woke up once again in Caer Pren somehow not quite herself.
She rose and gazed in the mirror, receiving quite a surprise.