-11-

 

 

Robin sprinkled more baking soda on the edges of her kitchen sink and scrubbed, scrubbed, scrubbed. She’d already deep cleaned both bathrooms that morning and dusted every ceiling fan in the house. She’d read an article that said you should rub your light switches with a cotton ball soaked in alcohol to kill any lingering germs, so that was next on her list. If she had time she figured she could tackle the fridge and freezer, too.

But none of it was helping. She couldn’t stop thinking about poor Kelsey and how much she and Eric must be worrying right now, waiting for their news in the doctor’s office.

The sound of feet climbing steps caught her attention, and she opened the side door in the kitchen, the one only her friends used. Matt stood on the tiny deck with a worried expression on his face and a plastic grocery bag in his hand. Wind whipped the crepe myrtle behind him near the studio, indicating the front was moving in quickly. Maybe quick enough to clear out before their performance tomorrow.

But if she had to spend luck on anything, it would be on Kelsey. The weather and the festival were the least of her concerns right now.

“You shaved,” she said at the sight of his smooth face. As much as she’d liked the beard, he looked like himself again. “It looks nice.”

“Thanks.” He rubbed a hand along his jaw line. “Got tired of it. Figured it was time for my spring look.”

“You didn’t have to come all the way over here,” she said, noticing his dark blue dress shirt, gray striped tie, and gray slacks. “You look like you had a busy day.”

“Meeting was this morning. Cleared the rest of my schedule, and I can finish anything I need to from home later tonight.” His eyes softened into even darker pools of compassion. “I’m here for as long as you want me to be.”

Every doubt, every insecurity she’d had all week disappeared in that cloud of words. All that was left was gratitude for this man and his friendship. For his presence in her life.

“Thank you.”

He held up the bag. “Plate lunches. Crawfish étouffée.”

“I don’t know if I can eat anything,” she said, opening the door wide and gesturing for him to enter.

“You need to eat something, and this is peak comfort food.”

He placed the bag on the dinette table and removed the Styrofoam containers, while she grabbed a couple forks and placed them beside the plate lunches. When he opened the lids, the spicy smell of crawfish and onions and steamy rice filled the kitchen. Even the canned green beans made her mouth water. She was definitely hungrier than she’d realized.

“Listen,” he said, as he dug a fork in to mix his rice and sauce, “you can sit and worry about everything you need to worry about—Kelsey, the weather, the gig, whatever. I’m here to worry over you. To make sure you take care of yourself today, okay?”

She felt her mouth stretch into a smile, despite her attempt to contain her emotions in front of him. He wasn’t asking her to stop worrying, to stop caring about things, to stop being her. He was just asking to be there with her through it. And her heart could barely stand it.

“Deal.” She stirred her own rice mixture, then stopped and stared at him. He was focused on his food, and his expression held nothing but compassion and patience. “Matthew Blanchard, I do not deserve you.”

His hand froze with his fork just in front of his mouth. He put it down and stared at her with more sincerity than she’d ever been on the receiving end of before in her life. “You deserve everything you want. All the good things.”

Heat rose to her cheeks. She looked down. Ashamed. “So are we just going to ignore everything else?”

He shifted uncomfortably in his chair and cleared his throat softly. “Listen, we don’t have any commitments. I’d like to be exclusive, but we didn’t have any agreements. If you want to see other people, that’s your right.”

Robin’s head shot up and her brain swam in a sea of confusion. “What the heck are you talking about?”

“I saw you…with that guy. The other day when I dropped off your coffee.” He cleared his throat again and loosened his tie a little. “The two of you were coming back from lunch. After you’d told me you didn’t have time to leave.”

“Riiiiight,” she said. “I didn’t have time for lunch with you because I had to meet with a drummer. Our possible sit-in for Kelsey.”

“Oh.” His face turned red. “I just assumed you were blowing me off. I mean, I get it.”

“You get what?”

“I get that he’s more your type. And I’m…not. Like I said, you deserve everything you want. I meant that. Even if what you want isn’t me. Because I understand. I’m not creative or interesting or whatever. I’m just boring media guy. I’ll never be a Dustin or that drummer or some other flashy musician who catches your interest.”

Robin flinched. “Is that really what you think of me? That I’m just interested in shiny dude-objects like a dang raccoon?” She felt a deep stabbing in her chest. “I thought you knew me better than that. I thought you were one of the few people in this world who really did know me.”

He was silent for a moment. “That’s not at all how I think of you. I just think you deserve the best of everything. Even if that means you end up with someone who isn’t me.”

She blinked back the tears threatening to spill out over her neglected lunch. “That’s exactly how I feel about you. I want you to be happy. I want you to have everything you want, even if that means you’re with someone else because I can’t give those things to you.”

His face scrunched with confusion. “What is it that you think I want that you can’t give me?”

“More that I won’t. Not even for you,” she said. “Everything Heidi has. The kids and the dog and the whole shebang.”

“Who needs a dog? I’ve got Apollo now.”

“We are not talking about that thing you call a fish. And I’m serious.”

“I’m serious, too.” He scooted his chair closer to hers and took both of her hands in his own. “And I was serious the last time we had this conversation. I love my extended family, and I love being Uncle Matt. But I also like coming home to a quiet house and doing a whole lot of nothing. Just because I have fun with my nieces and nephews doesn’t mean I want to fill a house with my own kids. I want to have lazy Sundays in bed, take vacations to boring but beautiful, peaceful places, never ever watch cartoons that don’t include cursing. And the only person I want to do those things with is you.”

She’d never heard him say any of those things. They’d never really talked about what they wanted from life. That hadn’t been the nature of their relationship before now. But looking back on all of the things he had said to her, all of this made sense. She just hadn’t believed it.

“I just want you to be happy.”

“That’s all I want for you, too.” With a sad little smile of surrender, he said, “Sounds like we both need to stop trying to decide what’s best for each other.”

“Sounds like it.” With a heavy sigh, she asked, “Have we ruined this?”

He shook his head. “I am and will always be Team Robin.” He raised her hands to his lips and kissed each, sending heat radiating to every part of her body. “And for the record, I love you. I’ve always loved you. And I want to be by your side, loving you, for as long as you’ll have me.”

Her breath caught in her chest at the idea of being loved this way. Fully. Forever. Completely blown away by the idea that she didn’t have to change a single thing about herself to be worthy of this man. It was almost too much for her heart to bear.

She leaned in and kissed him—before she could second-guess any of this. He froze with the sudden shock of her move, then returned the kiss. He slid his hand up her arm until his fingers reached her neck as they kissed softly. The taste of spices and butter and garlic on his tongue ignited a hunger inside her even though she’d long abandoned any thoughts of lunch.

Her fingers went to work on the tie, loosening it then sliding it free. She left it dangling around his neck and held the free ends in each of her hands. Then she stood and lifted one leg over his lap to straddle him in his chair, scooting forward along his pants until she felt his erection beneath her.

He grabbed her wrists gently. “Are you sure?” He looked deeply into her eyes, judging more than her physical response. “I don’t want to be just a distraction for you.”

She touched her forehead to his. “I’m positive. Let’s burn this friendship to the ground like a phoenix and see what comes to life next.”

His pupils flashed with desire and he met her lips again, this time crashing passionately against her. She welcomed his tongue, inhaling him, her hands gripping the soft, satiny fabric at his chest. His hands wrapped behind her back, holding her tightly. She grabbed his shoulders and moved against him.

He moaned into her mouth then held her tighter. “Oh my God, you’re going to have to stop that.”

She pulled back. “Changed your mind?”

“Not on your life.” He grinned, devilish and delicious. Then he slid his hands up beneath her shirt, tracing her ribs with his thumbs as he leaned closer and nibbled her bottom lip. “I just needed a second. You feel too damn good.”

She smiled. “I plan on feeling even better.”

He kissed her hard as he slid his hands around to unhook her bra. He grabbed one of her breasts and said, “Good. Because I plan on helping out with that.”

He helped first by sliding her shirt over her head and tossing it across the kitchen. A second later, his mouth kissed the top of her right breast, while his thumb grazed the nipple of her left. She struggled to sneak her hands between their bodies, fiercely removing each button until his shirt hung loosely. Her hands glided along his smooth chest and up to his shoulders, then slid the garment down his arms. He released her for just a moment, long enough to drop the shirt behind him onto the seat of the dining chair they shared.

His mouth was on her breast again, and his tongue sent tiny shock waves from her nipple through her entire nervous system. Every cell in her body was alert, ready for whatever came next. And for the first time in as long as she could remember, she didn’t care that she didn’t know exactly what each next step would be. She couldn’t control Matt’s actions, his family’s reactions, or their fate as a couple any more than she could control the weather. And she was finally one thousand percent okay with riding this wherever it took her.

Wherever it took them.

He lifted his head to place a long, hungry kiss on her mouth, which she ate up greedily as she squirmed on top of him again.

He moaned against her mouth and said, “I need to have you.”

She grinned with satisfaction and stood, her legs still straddling the chair and his lap. She nodded toward the hallway. “Bedroom’s that way.”

“Don’t know if I want to wait that long.” He grabbed the waist of her jeans and pulled her close against him, unbuttoning and unzipping, then pushing the denim down her legs to the floor. “I feel like we’ve waited long enough for this.”

She couldn’t agree more.

He wrapped his arms around her and lifted her onto the dinette table. She was naked except for her underwear, yet she’d never felt so comfortable with another person in her life. She’d never felt so seen. So exactly where she was meant to be.

He grabbed the two plate lunch containers and moved them to the counter a couple feet away. When he returned, she wasted no time removing his pants and boxers, then ran her hand along the length of his erection.

Matt took her face in his palms and tilted her head upward, so he could look her in the eye. He stared at her like that for a moment, and she stared right back into those deep gray eyes. Staring at this man she’d known for so long, yet felt like she was only really seeing now for the first time.

He kissed her softly, the most tender kiss, and every muscle she had dissolved into a puddle of goo. She realized, in that moment, that she was absolutely a goner. She belonged to Matt, heart, body, and soul, for as long as he would have her.

“For the record,” she said, “I love you, too.”

He smiled and gave her a small kiss laced with heat. “Noted.”

His hands slid down her torso and rested on her hips. He gave them a squeeze, then wiggled off her underwear, throwing it somewhere near where her shirt had been discarded. With a hand on her stomach, he gently nudged her backward onto the table and pulled her legs closer to the edge as they straddled his standing body. His palms rubbed at her hips and inner thighs, lighting the sensitive skin there on fire. He slipped a finger between her legs and rubbed back and forth until every inch of her was slick and swollen, then he slipped his finger inside her.

Robin’s head fell back against the table top. The room spun as she rolled with desire, climbing fast and hard. She propped herself on the table and grabbed his wrist with one hand to stop him. Then she reached for his cock and pulled him closer.

“Wait.” He looked around until he found his jeans draped across the chair. He dug inside his wallet, pulled out a condom, then dropped the wallet unceremoniously on the floor.

Thank goodness. She trusted the man with all her heart, but she hadn’t been on the pill in decades. Side effects messed her up.

He rolled the condom on, then rubbed his fingers against her again until she was good and ready for him. As if there was any doubt about that.

A moment later he was inside her, and her head dropped to the table once again, overcome with a sense of fullness—physical and so much more.

He bent over top of her to kiss her breast and leave a trail of eager kisses up to her neck while he moved inside of her, the full length of him exploring her with long, slow strokes. He propped himself with one arm on the table, his other hand caressing the hair around her face as he stared at her. She was surprised by how comfortable his stares were, how they didn’t make her want to hide. How she wanted nothing more than to be seen by this man.

His thrusts became more insistent, then he slowed again and placed a finger on her clit, circling it gently at first. She squirmed and clenched around him, and the speed of her climb took her breath away. When she reached the top, tightening against him and spasming with waves of pure pleasure and release, he leaned over her again and thrust hard and fast. She reached her arms up to hold the edges of the table until he finished and collapsed onto her chest, the weight of him warm and oh so welcome there.

They both breathed heavily, chests rising and falling in unison. She released the table and wrapped her arms around his back, holding him, reveling in the two of them together this way. He lifted himself slightly to kiss her, a hunger still in those lips. A hunger for a lifetime of this. A lifetime of this she was more than willing to give him.

“That was new,” he said, kissing her nose.

“New and delicious.”

“Speaking of delicious.” He nodded toward the counter. “I guess we’re going to have to reheat those.”

She propped herself on her elbows and gave him a quick kiss. “More than worth it.”

 

* * * * *

 

Matt emerged from the hall bathroom and found Robin in the kitchen, preparing to reheat their abandoned lunch. She looked gorgeous, standing barefoot in her jeans and oversized T-shirt with no bra, the back of her hair a mussed mess of waves. She was always gorgeous, but she looked relaxed for the first time in…well, he couldn’t remember the last time she’d looked this comfortable. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d ever felt this loose either. Maybe never.

As she opened an upper cabinet door, revealing stacks of plates, he wrapped his arms around her waist and nuzzled his face against her hair, inhaling her scent. He couldn’t get enough of it.

She let out a tiny moan of satisfaction as he held her. “I can’t reach the plates if you hold me like this.”

“Then I guess we’ll just have to live on love.”

She laughed as he kissed the side of her neck. When he reached her ear with his kisses, a phone rang beside him, and her whole body tensed. He loosened his arms so Robin could reach for it. She let out the tiniest of gasps.

“Is it Kelsey?” he asked.

She nodded and stared at the ringing phone, then shook herself into action and answered the call. “Hello.” Her eyes drifted to Matt. “Both of you?”

He reached out and held her free hand while his own heart raced. He didn’t even really know this woman on the other line, but he knew how much she meant to Robin, and it was killing him to catch only half of their conversation.

She squeezed his hand in return and exhaled. “I’m not worried about that. We’ll handle everything. I’m just glad you’re okay.” She was quiet for a moment, listening, then said, “Okay, I’ll call and check on you later this evening. You get some rest.”

She ended the call, a smile stretched wide across her face, her eyes dancing with delight and relief.

“I guess that means she and the baby are all good.”

“Yup. All good,” Robin echoed. “We need to set up her rig for her, and she needs to go straight to the gig then straight home to rest, but the doctor said that should be fine. She just has to take it easy, but not strict bed rest.”

“That’s great news.”

“It is.”

He slipped his arms around her waist again and grinned. “Want to celebrate?”

She returned his sly smile and closed the kitchen cabinet. “You’d better believe it.”