Eighteen.

Crazy Jamie

 

Jens eventually passed out on the bed next to me while I slept in Jamie’s possessive grip. When Jamie awoke, it was with an animalistic clawing at the IV in his hand again. He ripped it out, chest heaving and eyes wild as he fought to once again make sense of his surroundings.

Poor Jens would never get a full night’s sleep with the two of us around. He woke up and talked Jamie down to reason, reminding him that we were safe, and he was real.

But if Jens is real, where’s Britta? Jamie asked me, lying back down so I could hold him while he fought with his demons for tranquility.

I mouthed my girlfriend’s name to Jens, who nodded. “She’s here. She’s downstairs. When you’re ready, she can’t wait to see you both. But you have to get a little better first.”

Both Jamie and I grimaced at that reasoning. Why shouldn’t Jamie be allowed to see his wife right away? What could possibly keep Britta away from Jamie?

Jens understood my confusion. Jens always understood me. “When you first got here, you attacked me, Foss and Grace a few times. Britt’s dying to see you, but we can’t have you trying to strangle her. It’s just not safe.”

Jamie’s mouth fell open. I listened to his thoughts that were similar to mine. Neither of us recalled attacking Jens or the others. I didn’t even remember seeing Foss except briefly in the car on the way here. Most everything was a blur between reality and our dream life, so it was hard to tell what was actually going on. Jamie closed his mouth and nodded.

Jens called Grace back in to fix Jamie’s IV again, and this time Jamie didn’t fight her. I could tell he wanted to attack anyone who wore scrubs, but he remained motionless because it got him one step closer to Britta.

Jens laid back down on my other side and stretched his arms toward the headboard. Then he dipped his hand to run it through my hair. The touch caught me off-guard because I hadn’t seen it coming, so I flinched and clung harder to Jamie.

 

“I’m sorry! Man, that really wasn’t supposed to scare you.” Jens sat up. “I’ve got to know what happened, guys. Why aren’t either of you talking? Worse than that, you two haven’t made a single noise the entire time since we found you. What did they do? Grace said there wasn’t too much damage to your vocal chords, but the black marks around your neck when we first saw you were like a ring or something. What was it?”

I mimed a collar around my neck and then acted out a dumbed down version of the shock running through my body.

“You got choked?” Jens guessed, his thick eyebrows furrowed. “Someone choked you?”

I shook my head and motioned for him to get me something to write with.

“Duh. Of course. One second.” Jens hopped off the bed and came back twenty seconds later, ready for me to write down some concrete answers. Colonel Mustard in the Library with the electrocuting collar.

With the utmost care, Jens helped me to sit up against the headboard so I could write on the spiral notebook he slid across my lap. Jamie was still lying down, but his cheek was pressed to my hip and his arm was wrapped around my thighs as I tried to master the mechanics of properly holding a pen.

I wasn’t sure where to start. There really was no beginning anymore.

Jens sensed my confusion and guided me with an even tone. “Let’s start with who had you.”

That was easy. Sirens, I scribbled.

To his credit, Jens only yelled once. “Sirens?! Are you sure? How is that possible?”

I scribbled with untidy, angry letters, not bothering to anchor my words to the lines on the page. Tucker drugged and abducted us when we were trying to escape the attack on his Pearl house. He handed us over to a crapload of sirens, which is where we’ve been. Underground somewhere, imprisoned by the psychotic sirens.

“Tucker did what?!” Jens grabbed at the paper to make sure he was reading my scrawl correctly.

Jamie was unbalanced. We both were, really, but I only flinched when Jens’s hand moved too quickly for my liking to take the notebook from me. Jamie’s hand flung out in a claw and tore at Jens’s arm like a tiger who had his food snatched at. He clutched me to him, eyes wide with anger that had a note of fear to them.

Jens held his hands up and flipped his legs off the bed, standing so Jamie could see he meant us no harm. “Jamie, it’s me.” Though he was trying to be understanding of something he couldn’t begin to grasp the depths of, the hurt was clear. “Brother, what did they do that you don’t trust me?”

Jamie watched his best friend with caution, his cagey glances darting from Jens to the door to the IV in his hand. They would have given us Britta if it was real. It’s not real! It’s not Jens!

I let Jamie’s arms tighten around my ribs because he needed the comfort. I motioned for the pen and paper, and Jens handed it over slowly, making sure not to touch me so as not to upset Jamie.

I scribbled out, Jamie won’t believe it’s you until he sees Britta. The sirens messed us up, but I know it’s you now. Then I paused, the doubt flooding me at making such a bold declaration. It is you, isn’t it?

Jens nodded, softening. “It’s me. Who else would I be? And I’ll bring Britta up just as soon as Jamie’s under control. Brother, you just attacked me. Britta’s pregnant. I won’t have you doing something you’ll regret.”

Jamie yelled in my head. Jens doesn’t have a beard! Even when his parents left for Be, he still shaved! It’s not Jens!

I motioned to Jens’s beard, which obscured the face I’d grown to love.

Jens scratched his chin. “My beard? Yeah, I haven’t shaved in a while. Shoot, I haven’t showered in a while.” He knelt down at the bedside, careful not to touch either of us so Jamie didn’t get spooked again. His hands clasped in supplication. “I haven’t done anything that wasn’t directly related to getting you back here in months. I only ate to keep myself sharp for the task. Everything, and I still failed. I didn’t even find you. You found me. I’d love to hear how that all came about, when you’re up for it.”

I nodded and wrote, My mom found you.

Jens’s eyebrows puckered in confusion. “Your mom found me?” Then he closed his eyes, pained at the revelation that I’d finally cracked. “Okay, baby. That’s nice.”

I didn’t bother to correct his assumption that I wasn’t nuts and bolts. I probably was permanently beyond what would pass for normal.

Grace knocked lightly twice on the door before letting herself in. She carried a tray with two bowls on it and a pitcher of water. Jens moved slowly, meeting Jamie’s trepidacious gaze as my boyfriend reached forward to help resituate my slumped torso. “I’m just trying to help her up so she can eat, okay? I’m not taking her anywhere, and no one’s going to hurt either of you.”

I tried to calm Jamie down, but I had precious little assurances for my own self, let alone to spare on him. Everyone breathed with relief when Jamie held his cool as I was straightened against the many pillows that cushioned my aching joints. I felt marginally stronger than the day before. I guessed the IV was giving me back some of the things I’d been lacking. Though the tube scared me, it seemed to be helping, so I gave it the benefit of the doubt.

Jamie’s peace only lasted so far. When Grace tried to spoon-feed him some broth from the green ceramic bowl, Jamie snapped. He smacked it out of her hands and shoved her across the room with more force than he’d had a few days ago. He was getting stronger, too, but his lucidity was questionable.

Poor Grace was disheveled, but thankfully, not hurt. It was almost as if she expected this and had braced herself for it. I wondered how much of our haze between fear and comfort had we actually been coherent for.

Don’t eat the food! They’ll separate us again! We can’t disappear from each other, Lucy! We have to get home!

I felt half a step ahead of Jamie, as far as lucidity went, and the difference was Jens. As much as I understood that Britta couldn’t be put in danger, I knew Jamie wouldn’t eat or get better until he saw her.

My hand shook from disuse as I gripped the pen again while the nurse and Jens tried to calm Jamie down. He was strong enough to stand, but only just, so they overpowered him gently and sat him down.

Jamie was crazy.

I was crazy.

I shook my head, determined the loony bin would not be my home. I’d waited long enough for a real place to belong to. I wouldn’t belong in Crazy Town.

No more, I decided. No more.