Chapter Twelve

 

 

The way the guys went out about how unfair we were being by staying in my room was funny, to say the least. Especially once Dova and I finished our meals.

“Please?” Brandon begged from the other side of the door. “We can hang out on the bed too.”

“You need to go to work soon,” Dova reminded him.

“All the more reason to let us in.”

Dova shook her head, then threw a pillow at the door. “Go away.”

“Fine. But don’t do anything I would do.”

Dova waited until Brandon’s footsteps reached the bottom of the steps, then got up to retrieve the pillow she’d thrown. “It’ll get easier,” she said as she rejoined me on my bed. “I think he’s just lost on what to do.”

“Maybe you should’ve made breakfast after all,” I mused aloud. “It would’ve given him some time with you.”

“Our bond can survive a few days apart. He’ll be fine. He’s just a little needy, that’s all.”

“At least he has Zack.”

“Unfortunately, as deep as their bond goes, I know it isn’t enough. We’re safe to hang out in here now, but once they get home, I’ll have to go.”

I nodded my understanding, then lifted the covers so she could lay next to me. “Sounds like the shared custody is over you.”

Dova laughed at that. “You’re probably right. It’s been the three of us for so long, and while you’ve been our fourth, my attention has never been split like this.”

“Neither has mine. I know you told me not to worry about house rules and that they would change if you or Brandon found your one, but do you think we’ll be okay? The four of us the way we are?” Would Dova have to move out?

“Once the four of us are together, we’ll find something that can work for everyone involved. You’ll have more time with me, obviously, but I know I have to make time for them as well.”

“I wouldn’t expect any less.”

“But there will be times when you need me.”

“And you’ll be there for all of us.”

Dova looked like she was going to say something but thought better of it. “I think a new episode of Jill and Jack is coming on. Feel like watching it?”

Time with Dova and a cheesy sitcom? “Definitely?”

 

* * *

 

By mid-morning, we’d both gotten tired of my room and moved down into the lower level of the house. And as promised, Brandon and Zack had flipped everything upside down. Literally.

“They did this on purpose,” I said as I helped Dova with the couch.

“They’re pranksters when they want to be.” She finished putting the cushions where they belonged, then promptly sat down. “They did this one year while I was at work. I hadn’t even done anything wrong. According to Zack, they wanted to get a rise out of me.”

“And? Did it work?” I asked as I sat down beside her.

“Not really. I was coming off a long shift that had a really hard case, so I figured I’d lost my mind and left.”

“You left?”

“Just to my parents’ house. I needed a moment to breathe and to be taken care of for a few minutes.”

“You didn’t ask them?” I was sure if she’d asked, Brandon and Zack would’ve helped her in a heartbeat.

“I didn’t have the energy to. I wasn’t in a good mental state to even communicate with my mom. She just knew.”

“What happened?” Did this have to do with the animal she’d mentioned earlier?

“We lose animals sometimes.” Dova’s gaze grew distant as she spoke. “We lose people sometimes as well. It’s a part of life, you know? Problem is, my wolf can pick up on their grief, of those left behind. I’ve gotten good at compartmentalizing things over the years, but even knowing that we did the right thing, it still hurts.

That day was especially bad because I had three of them in a row. It’s days like those that really make you question how much you’re helping or if you’re just doing more harm.”

“What about your co-workers?” Couldn’t they have stepped in and helped?

“They felt it too. Even if you aren’t in the room or giving your condolences directly, we all feel it. I guess that’s the downside of being what we are. Humans are empathic and feel bad, sure, but shifters?” She shook her head, clearly at a loss for words. “It’s like someone is ripping at my heart every single time.”

“Then why keep doing it?” If caring for animals and having to help them cross to the other side hurt that much, why did she put herself through it?

“Because if I don’t do it, who will? Besides, there are good cases, bright ones that make up for it. Or, well, almost. The hard days never get any easier. I’d like to schedule those moments a few days apart, but life doesn’t work like that. If someone has an emergency, we have no choice but to help.”

“You care too much.” When she looked at me, I explained. “You care so badly for the ones you take care of that I can’t help wondering if you have enough time for yourself. You can’t be the one who holds everyone up all the time.”

“I’m not. As much as I might tease or complain about them, Zack and Brandon have done as much for me as I have for them. It’s just some days–”

“Like when you came home the other night and found me gone.” A knot of guilt tightened in my chest.

“No,” she said, caressing my cheek with the backs of her fingertips. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“You probably just wanted to come in, eat, and go to bed.”

“Maybe, but going out to find you was okay too. Like I said before, it’s okay to run. It allows us to think and to find a bit of clarity.”

“But what if it didn't work out like that?” What if I ran and didn’t want to come back? What then?

“If you felt the need to run for any other reason, I’m sure you would’ve said something a lot sooner than you did.”

“I…” I didn’t know what to say.

“I won’t claim to have all the answers, because I don’t.”

“But?” I asked as I lay against her.

“I’m going to do my best to make you feel safe here at home.”

Home.

Not her home. Ours. All of ours.

“Home.” I shivered as the word rolled off my tongue. “It feels weird.”

“Saying it or that it’s yours?”

“Both?” I sat up and met her worried gaze with one of my own. “I’ve had homes, places I’ve stayed, but they never held any meaning to me.”

“They were a shelter for you, then. Not a home.”

“But here is different. At first, I was happy to have my own room. But now, I…” I trailed off.

“You have a family who looks after you.” Dova smiled when I looked at her then. “Feels nice, huh?”

I paused and glanced at the front door. “Yeah, it really does.”

 

* * *

 

By the end of our second week together, Brandon and Zack had grown tired of their games. They still made googly eyes or kissing motions at us as we sat on the couch, but other than that, they’d calmed down. As for Dova and me, we were just getting started, owning the Monopoly board enough for Brandon to throw in the towel.

“You got lucky,” he said as he helped clean up the board, “but I’ll reclaim my victory next time.”

“Mm-hmm,” Dova said with a gentle bob of her head. “Sure you will.”

“So what are your plans for tomorrow?” Zack asked once we all settled down for the night.

“I was thinking we’d go into town,” Dova replied. “Lynn’s been so busy with moving in and settling in at work that she hasn’t had a proper look around.”

“I’ve looked,” I said. “But there isn’t that much to see, is there?” Aside from our places of work, there were a handful of boutiques, the gas station by the bridge, a lumber yard, and maybe two diners. That was it.

“You need to meet everyone,” Dova told me. “Without them standing on the other side of your till.”

“Do I have to?” I didn’t like meeting new people at the best of times, so the thought of having to walk around introducing myself felt wrong.

“We don’t have to,” Dova began, “but how else am I going to take you out.”

Oh. “So this is a date, right?”

Brandon laughed. “Now she gets it.”

“Hey, how was I supposed to know?” Dova made it sound so formal.

“I’ll communicate better the next time I want to take you into town,” Dova promised. “So, do you think you’d be up for it? Or would you rather eat in like we did the last time we both had off?”

I glanced at the guys, half-expecting them to tease us or for them to beg until Dova agreed to let them come along.

The guys never said a word.

“Sure,” I said after giving it some thought. “A walk around town sounds like it could be fun.”

“Great. Just wait until you meet Mr. Myer. He’s one of my favorites.”

“Really? How come?”

“Because of his dog,” Zack said before Dova could do the same. “He’s a massive beast but one of the kindest animals you’ll ever know.”

“Sounds like a certain wolf.” I gave Dova a pointed look, then stuck out my tongue when she glared. “Your wolf might look ragged and angry sometimes, but she’s the gentlest one in this house.” Not even my fox could compare to Dova’s ball of fluff.

“Don’t let that get around,” Dova said. “I have a reputation to keep, after all.”

“Oh? And which one is that?” Because I didn’t see it.

“I can be pretty tough when I want to be.”

“Until you warm up to someone,” I added. “You couldn’t even torment the ants behind your parents’ house.”

“I chose not to,” she corrected me. “In any case, I think taking a walk through town would do wonders for my wolf. It’s been a while since I’ve done it. Aside from picking up some pizzas on the way home, that is.”

“Then it’s settled. We’ll leave first thing in the morning. That way, we can spend our afternoon lounging at home.”

“I like the way you think.”