I was about to protest, but I stopped. No one had ever looked at me the way that my lifeguard was looking at me right now. He wanted to see me naked. And I definitely wanted to see him naked, even though I was trying really hard to not want that. Friends were supposed to hang out in clothes. But I never had a friend who looked like J.J. How much could it hurt to see him completely naked just once? Probably not much. Honestly, I was more concerned about the fact that he’d see me naked. Bathing suits were revealing but…not as revealing as no clothing.
I bit my lip and glanced at Clint. He and his girlfriend were probably too drunk to ever remember this. Besides, I was really good at ping pong. There was no way I'd actually have to get naked. J.J. would be the one stripping. So in my case…no harm no foul.
"What are the rules?" I asked. I can’t believe I’m even asking this. Yesterday I had sworn off all men and now I was standing here with a ping pong paddle weighing the odds of how likely I was to see two dicks. So much for my diet.
"How about every time a team scores five points, each person on the opposite side has to lose one article of clothing?" My lifeguard smiled at me. "And once one person on a team gets fully naked, the other team wins."
I didn't know why he was smiling. He was about to lose horribly. Like the worst loss in the history of losses. I was about to put him to shame. I gripped my paddle a little tighter and picked up the ball. "Game on," I said. I tossed the ball toward them and we began to volley for the serve. Clint and I won easily. This was going to be fantastic.
I served first. It hit the table and sailed between the two of them. My second serve was just as good but my lifeguard effortlessly returned it and Clint missed. I looked up at my lifeguard and he shrugged.
"I told you not to be so cocky, Jellyfish Girl."
I laughed. It was one lucky shot. He was the cocky one. "But..."
"Oh, did I forget to tell you that I'm actually really good at ping pong?"
Seriously? Oh fudgesicles! I shook my head and tried to ignore him. He was just trying to get in my head. He sucked at ping pong, I knew it for a fact. I took a deep breath and served again. Clint flubbed the shot. "Clint, what the hell?"
He laughed. "I don't have any body issues. Besides, everyone here has already seen me naked."
"Well I haven't."
"Maybe it's your lucky day then."
Fuck. I picked the ball up off the ground. “Just because you like running around naked doesn’t mean we have to lose. Don’t you like winning?”
Clint shrugged. “After this game I’m getting naked either way.” He winked at his girlfriend.
Good God. I was going to have to steal all the balls that came his way. He was completely off his rocker. And I couldn’t send it over to J.J. anymore. The whole left side of the table was off limits now. I served it at Clint's girlfriend. She wasn't as bad as I was hoping. Clint lost us the next two points as well.
I picked up the ball and threw it at my lifeguard. They had gotten their first five points.
"Take it off!" he yelled and high fived Clint's girlfriend.
Clint pulled off his shirt. Of course he didn't have any body issues. He was a lifeguard. He was fit and tan and almost had as nice of a six pack as my lifeguard. Stop staring at him, you’re being so awkward.
"Hey, Stalker Girl," Clint whispered to me. "We got this. They're both going to be incredibly distracted now. It's all part of the plan."
"Well, we could just beat them." Ass hat.
"But where's the fun in that?" He winked at me and turned back to the table.
I grabbed the hem of my shirt and slowly lifted it over my head. My lifeguard had seen me in a bikini. This wasn't any worse. And I always wore nice pushup bras to work because it usually got me better tips. Since Clint had zero desire to help me win this game, maybe taking his advice wasn’t such a bad idea. J.J. was in dire need of a distraction. I tossed my shirt as seductively as possible to the side, leaned down, and picked up the ball off the floor.
J.J.’s eyes were locked on my breasts. And Clint's girlfriend was certainly staring at him. Maybe Clint was right. I took a deep breath. This was going to be more fun than I realized. Now that we had the upper hand, I’d be winning in no time. I was already prepping my victory lap…which included me putting my shirt on first. Maybe after I shoved it in J.J.’s face.
It was his turn to serve. He served it toward me. It was a good serve, but not too good that I couldn't return it. Because I’m awesome like that! We got the next four points so that we were tied five to five.
"Your turn," I said and folded my arms across my chest. Take that.
My lifeguard shrugged. He grabbed his shirt by the collar and pulled it off. I should have been desensitized to his sculpted torso from seeing him at the beach all the time, but I wasn't. I was practically salivating. And he aced his next serve.
"You okay there, Jellyfish Girl?" He flashed me his smile that made my knees weak.
"Yes, I'm fine." I wasn't. I was clearly way more distracted by him than he was by me. Stupid perfect lifeguard body. It was Clint's serve and he was clearly distracted by his girlfriend too. We lost the next four points in record time.
I tried to think of what underwear I was wearing. I was pretty sure it was a thong. Not just pretty sure, positive. I had to wear a thong with these shorts or else I’d have a visible underwear line. Fuck my life. Clint dropped his shorts. I looked down at the floor. I didn't want to see him in his boxers. This isn't a big deal. We've all seen people naked of the opposite sex. This is normal. How is this normal again? I unbuttoned my shorts while my brain started having a panic attack of its own.
Because I was wrong. This was mortifying. And humiliating. And awkward as all get out. Why couldn't I have worn a normal pair of underwear? Stupid underwear lines. Underwear lines deserved a slow and painful death. I slowly lowered my shorts to the floor. I couldn't make eye contact with my lifeguard. Or anyone for that matter.
Clint picked up the ball. "Your face is bright red, Stalker Girl," he whispered. "Chill, you have a great ass."
Holy fucking shit. My face probably turned five shades redder. My lifeguard cleared his throat. I finally looked up. He was smiling at me.
That smile did something to my heart, because it was beating so fast I felt faint. I couldn't lose any more clothes or I might have a heart attack. We needed to score the next five points to tie it up. I tried hard to focus on the ball. We won the last serve Clint made. Luckily his girlfriend was bad at serving and we won four out of the five points that she served.
My lifeguard quickly took off his shorts and kicked them to the side. He wasn't embarrassed at all. Granted, I had already seen him in just his boxers. He’d flaunted himself around that changing room like it was no big deal. So why did all of this feel like a big deal to me?
He didn't glance at all at Clint's girlfriend. His eyes stayed locked on me. I wasn't sure if he actually liked what he saw, or if he was just trying to embarrass me. My eyes drifted down his torso. There was definitely a big bulge in his boxers. If we got five points I'd get to see him naked. And if they got four more, he'd see me topless. That couldn't happen. It was not a possibility. I needed to step up my game or live the rest of my life under an actual rock.
I grabbed the ball. I did one of my best serves and my lifeguard returned it. The volleys were long. Just like his penis probably was. Shit, focus! My lifeguard and I had taken over so that we were hitting the majority of the balls while Clint and his girlfriend barely got to hit any. Even though Clint wasn't screwing me up, I was still distracted and we lost three out of five of my serves. No, no, no. This wasn’t happening.
"We just need one more point and then we win," my lifeguard said. It was really more of a taunt.
"Stop gloating. You haven't won yet," I snapped. This can't be real. Maybe I was having a really awkward vivid dream. I pinched myself. Nope, I’m living this nightmare.
I tried to reach over to return a shot, but Clint hit it instead. The ball missed my lifeguard's side of the table by a fraction of an inch.
"You've got to be kidding me!" I threw my paddle down on the table.
"Sorry, Stalker Girl," Clint said. He grabbed the waistline of his boxers and pulled them down. I quickly looked away. “Your turn,” I heard him say.
Why didn’t I wear more layers today? Fuck. I can't believe I'm doing this. I reached behind my back and unhinged my bra. I turned around and let my bra straps slide down my arms. Before I turned back around I strategically folded my arms across my chest. At least my nipples were covered. My very hard nipples, thanks to my stupid lifeguard.
"Now, if you'll excuse me," Clint said and walked over to his girlfriend.
"Clint!" she screamed as he lifted her over his shoulder. The two of them laughed as they disappeared into J.J.’s bedroom, which I was hoping was their shared bedroom. Or else that was super weird.
"Well that was fun," my lifeguard said.
"Okay, can I put my clothes back on now?" I kept my arms folded across my chest.
"Hmmm." My lifeguard walked over to me.
"I can't believe you lied to me about being good at ping pong."
"I didn't lie. The first time we played I was too distracted to play well."
"By what?"
"You."
I swallowed hard. He put his hand down on the table and leaned toward me. His face was only a few inches away from mine.
"Close your eyes," he said.
I immediately shut my eyes. Partially out of embarrassment, and partially because I was hoping something was about to happen. God, he's going to kiss me. I'd wanted another kiss ever since our first one. A second later he slapped my ass.
"What the hell?" I opened my eyes. My lifeguard was holding all my clothes. "Oh my God, give those back!"
"Clint was right, you know."
"About what?"
"You have a great ass."
"Damn it, give me back my clothes, J.J."
"I kind of prefer you without clothes."
"J.J.!"
"I'll give you back your clothes if you put your hands down."
"I'm not doing that."
"But I won the game."
"I don't care if you won,” I said.
"You agreed to play."
"I did play. And I took off everything but my thong, just like I had to. Now give me back my clothes." I kept one arm across my chest and reached toward my clothes.
He took a step back. "I feel like I should be allowed to see."
I laughed, but it wasn’t an “I’m having a great time,” laugh. It was more of a “tortured soul” kind of laugh. "Why?"
He continued to back away from me around the table. "You've seen me topless a bunch of times."
"That's different!" I started to chase him around the table. The victory lap I had pictured in my head was not anything like this humiliating moment.
He stopped when we were back where we started and held up my clothes out of reach. "It's not that different. You're acting like no one has ever seen you naked before."
"I am not. I'm just acting like you've never seen me naked before. Which you haven't."
"Well how many guys have seen you naked?"
"J.J., I'd rather not play 20 questions right now."
"I think it's the perfect time to play 20 questions."
"J.J."
"Mila." He raised his eyebrow at me.
"Oh, come on! How would you feel if I pantsed you right now and saw you completely naked?"
"I'd feel like it would be hard to control myself."
I gulped. I stopped trying to reach for my clothes. Whatever friendship he’d proposed had just been thrown out the window. He couldn’t control himself around me. And I didn’t want him to try. I was just about to tell him to stop trying to control himself when the front door to his apartment creaked. Shit. I quickly kneeled down so that the ping pong table would hide me. He put his hand on the top of my head.
"J.J.!" Someone yelled when they walked in. "Whoa, sorry, man."
"Oh." J.J. cleared his throat. "We're not..."
"Dude, I didn't mean to cock block you."
Shit. Does J.J.’s roommate seriously think I'm giving him head in the middle of their living room? I scrunched up my face. That was worse than the real story. I stood up, keeping my arms across my chest. "We were just playing strip ping pong." I recognized the guy as J.J.'s ping pong partner from Grottos the other night.
The boy's eyes drifted down my body. I had never felt so exposed in my life. I looked over at J.J.
He stepped in front of me to block the guy’s view of me. "Get the fuck out of here, Logan."
"Right, sorry." Logan disappeared into the room I hadn't been in.
J.J. started laughing as he turned around to face me. "I'm so, so sorry," he said between bouts of laughter.
"J.J. give me my clothes before someone else walks in."
"Okay, okay. Here, catch." He tossed my clothes at me.
I instinctively moved my arms away from my breasts so I could catch the clothes. Shit. Balls! I’m a nudist! I pulled the clothes against my naked torso. I looked up at J.J. He looked so satisfied with himself.
"You're such a smug ass," I said and turned away from him. I quickly put my clothes back on. When I turned back around he was still staring at me. But I wasn’t really focused on his eyes. I swore the bulge in his boxers had grown significantly. Stop staring at his dick, you gave those up! My eyes gravitated back to his face.
I thought about what he had said a second before Logan had walked in. He was having a hard time controlling himself around me. I didn't want him to control himself. Maybe I should have played his game a little longer. My eyes wandered down his body again. The bulge in his boxers definitely looked even bigger than it had been before. There was no denying it. I should have pantsed him! If I had played that differently, he might be kissing me right now.
He cleared his throat, drawing my attention away from his boxers.
"Are you happy with yourself?" I asked, putting my hands on my hips. God, it was nice to be wearing clothes again.
"I'm very happy with myself." He sat down on the arm of the couch. "Did you want to watch a movie or something?"
My first instinct was to ask what time it was. But even if it was 3 a.m. I'd still rather stay. And even though he’d just seen me almost completely naked, it didn’t feel awkward between us. It felt like we’d known each other forever. Like we’re besties? No, definitely more than besties. "Sure."
"Awesome." He walked over to his clothes and pulled his shorts back on. His shirt remained on the ground as he grabbed our beers off the counter.
I looked away and sat down on the couch to one side. I silently cursed myself. I should have sat in the middle so he'd have to sit directly next to me. When he walked back over, he handed me my beer and sat down in the middle of the couch. For some reason I held my breath. I didn't care what we had talked about. Clearly neither of us wanted to be just friends. He turned on the TV and put his arm behind me on the couch without touching me.
"Oh, I love this movie," he said. "Have you ever seen it?"
"The Internship? Yeah, I love Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson." I smiled at him.
"Yeah, they're freaking hilarious together. This movie was so underrated. I can't believe people didn't find it funny."
"I know!"
He put his feet up on the coffee table in front of the couch. It was hard to focus on the TV when all I wanted to do was look at him. I wished that Logan hadn't interrupted us. I began to wonder what would have happened. It had been so tempting to pants him. And if I was being honest with myself…do way more after said pants were gone. Way, way more. My diet was over. I was craving his dick more than I’d crave ice cream if I ever gave it up. Well, maybe. Either way, it was a lot of craving and a lot of diet cheating going on in my head.
I yawned and leaned back so that my head was resting on his arm. He didn't flinch at all. Maybe he was hoping I'd do that. His intoxicating smell of saltwater and sweat made me want to kiss him even more. I closed my eyes and pretended that Logan had never shown up.