I had never woken up smiling to a hangover. But the pain in my head didn't even compare to the butterflies in my stomach. Just thinking about my lifeguard left me breathless. I ran my fingers across my lips where he had kissed me. I had never been so excited to see someone again in my life. And I couldn’t even contain my excitement. “Kristen!” I yelled as I sat up. “You won’t believe what happened last night!”
But there was no response. I glanced over to her empty bed. My smile couldn’t possibly get any bigger. If she hadn’t come back, that meant that she and Reggie had actually hit it off. Which meant…yesterday had kind of been the perfect day.
I grabbed my phone to see if she had texted me. I did have one waiting from…crap. Aiden. As I was staring at the unread message icon, debating whether or not to even open it, his name lit up on my screen. He was calling me. Again.
I dropped my phone on the bed and pulled my legs into my chest. Shit. I took a deep breath. The butterflies in my stomach were replaced by knots. Why was he still calling me? I closed my eyes until the buzzing stopped.
As soon as the silence returned, I opened my eyes again. I had finally given my number to J.J. and I was hoping he’d be the one calling me this morning. Part of me wanted to answer my phone when Aiden called so that I could tell him that I was seeing someone else. That would feel so satisfying. I wanted to tell him off. But I couldn't do that. My lifeguard and I hadn't talked about what we were now. All I knew was that we were more than friends. We were clearly more than friends. I smiled to myself.
My phone bleeped, letting me know I had a new unread text. I grabbed it and opened the texts from Aiden, ready to delete him out of my phone and my life.
It was just the two: “Are you up yet?” and "I really need to see you."
I deleted both messages and then found his name in my contact list. My finger hovered for a second. He wasn't allowed to need me. I wasn't his to need. He certainly hadn't needed me for the past few months. And he definitely hadn't wanted me. I was glad I was all the way across the country. If he had shown up to my dorm room, I'm sure I would have heard him out. I had been so weak for so long. I deleted him from my contacts and breathed a sigh of relief. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that I was better without him.
I jumped out of bed, grabbed two Tylenol, and downed them with a glass of water. Everything was different now. Just because Aiden didn't want me didn't mean there was anything wrong with me. He was just an asshole. The fight that my lifeguard and I had last night came back in my mind. I bit my lip. He had said I was pathetic for latching onto Aiden in the first place. Was he right? Honestly, he probably was. I left Cali for all the wrong reasons. Maybe I’d be staying in Delaware for all the right ones though. I glanced at my phone again. I hadn’t heard back from admissions yet, but I still needed to call my dad and tell him to hold off on tuition. But now was not that time. I wanted to just think about J.J. and how happy I was. All the crappy men in my life like my dad and Aiden could suck it.
I opened a drawer and pulled out a sports bra and shorts. I may have been pathetic freshman year of college. But now? Hell no. And I certainly wasn't going to wait around all day for a text from J.J. to come through. I needed to make sure I didn't make the same mistakes I had when I was with Aiden. And just because Kristen was out shagging her new lifeguard, it didn’t mean I couldn’t go for a run.
***
Even after my scalding hot shower, my body was still sore. I had run as far as I possibly could before collapsing in the sand. The walk home had taken forever, but it was relaxing staring out at the water. I wasn’t sure I had ever run so far in my life. Although, I was sore for more reasons than that. I felt my face flush, remembering last night. And I couldn’t help but wonder if we’d be repeating that anytime soon. Fingers crossed we would.
I pulled my towel around myself and walked out of the bathroom to see if Kristen was back. But after a quick glance, I knew she was still missing. I thought back to when she reprimanded me for not coming home one night and leaving her wondering if I was dead in a ditch. It was a two-way street. I picked up my phone to see if she’d messaged me and smiled. There was no word from her. But there was one from an unknown number. My lifeguard had finally texted me while I was in the shower. I added his number to my phone and then clicked on his message.
“I’ll be picking you up after work. And you better not be planning on pretending you’re busy and running away from me. Or changing up your schedule again to try to ditch me.”
I smiled. There was something sexy about him just telling me our plans instead of asking. And the fact that he didn’t even say it was J.J. He was just confident enough to know that he was the only man in my life. I typed out a response as I headed back into the bathroom. “I would never. What did you have in mind for tonight?” I grabbed my hairdryer and started to blow my hair dry. For some reason I was nervous to see him. I hoped he still felt the same way he had last night. When I switched the blow dryer off, I had another message from him.
“Bring a bathing suit.”
So much for drying my hair. But I didn’t even care. There was no better sight in the world than J.J. in his swim trunks.
“Deal,” I wrote back. “I’ll see you at five.” Now all that stood in between me and J.J. was a boring shift at work. I quickly put on some waterproof mascara that I hoped would withstand whatever we’d be doing tonight, and pulled on a pair of jean shorts and a tank top. After tossing a bathing suit into my bag, I was out the door in less than a minute.
The morning and afternoon did not go quite as quickly. First, I had been incredibly early for my shift because there was a pep in my step. And then I got paired up with Becca again who wouldn’t stop talking. I’d excused myself an hour ago to put my bathing suit on under my clothes. I was hoping J.J. might come save me early. But I knew his shift ended around the same time as mine. So no such luck. I never thought I’d miss my previous co-worker who liked to spend her whole shift talking to her boyfriend in the storage room.
“I can’t believe you got second place,” Becca said. “That was so cool!”
“Mhm.” I scrubbed down the counter for what felt like the millionth time.
“I tried to find you after to congratulate you, but you were gone. Did you go straight home?”
I felt my face flushing. “Yup.” Just thinking about J.J.’s hands and mouth made me start to feel all sweaty. God, I wanted him again.
“So, so awesome,” Becca said. “I don’t know how you had the confidence to go up on that stage. I never could have done it.”
I stopped scrubbing the counter and looked over at her. “Of course you could have.”
She shook her head.
I finally felt like there was something we actually had in common. “The only person that can hold you back is you, Becca.”
“I guess that’s true.”
“Trust me. I’ve been doing it my whole life.”
“And now?”
I finally saw my lifeguard approaching. “And now I’m on team me.”
She followed my gaze. “Or are you on team hot lifeguard?”
I smiled. “I think they might be the same team.”
“Really? You’re dating him?”
I didn’t really know what we were. But I’m sure we’d talk about it more tonight. “We haven’t really had that talk yet.”
“You’re so lucky.” It was like she hadn’t even heard my response.
A month ago I felt like the unluckiest girl in the world. But now my life had done a 180. I did feel lucky.
“Hey,” J.J. said as he leaned against the counter. His eyes traveled to my lips for the briefest moment. “Any chance you can skip out a few minutes early?”
“Yes!” Becca practically screamed next to me.
I glanced over at her and laughed. She was clearly as awestruck by J.J. as I was. “Thanks, Becca. Are you working tomorrow’s day shift too?”
She nodded.
“I’ll see you then.” I pulled off my apron and left as quickly as possible so that J.J. wouldn’t notice Becca drooling. But before I stepped out of the little shop, Keira and Rory walked in.
For a second I froze. I was about to skip out early and my bosses had caught me red-handed. But instead of reprimanding me, Keira just elbowed Rory in his side and then winked at me. Why was she winking at me?
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I was just…”
“It’s fine.” She waved her hand through the air. “Just for the record…I totally predicted this. Now go have fun with your lifeguard.” She winked again.
My lifeguard. I laughed. I guess there was no sense in making up some lame excuse. Keira didn’t seem to care that I was leaving a few minutes earlier. She just seemed happy for me. Which made me smile. “Thanks.”
As I pushed through the door, a bout of nerves hit me. Would J.J. kiss me hello? Would he hug me? Would he try to hold my hand? Would he not touch me at all?
"Hey," I said quietly as I stepped out into the sun.
He smiled brightly. Seeing his smile immediately calmed my nerves. It was proof that he had enjoyed last night as much as me. He didn't wake up regretting what had happened either.
Instead of giving myself an opportunity to do anything weird, I just started to walk. As I passed him, he immediately slipped his hand in mine. I tightened my fingers around his and swallowed all the words rolling around in my head. Especially the “I missed you” that kept threatening to spill out.
We walked in silence, hand in hand down the boardwalk. It was already pretty busy since the 4th of July crowd was mostly still in town. I was trying to look anywhere but at him when he started talking. And I swore he said he missed me, but I couldn’t be certain. I looked up at him. “What did you say?”
“I said I missed you today, Jellyfish Girl. I’m used to you being at the beach with me on Tuesdays.”
My heart felt like it was going to explode. He had said no more games last night. So why was I keeping what I wanted to say locked up? “I missed you too. I’d spend every second with you if I could.” Oh crap, too honest?
But he just smiled.
God, I wanted to kiss his perfect lips again.
When we turned down the street that his apartment was on, I was relieved to get away from the crowds. But then with each step closer to his apartment, my heart started to beat faster. J.J. had told me to bring a swimsuit. Which meant we were either heading down to the beach in a bit, or his pool. He did not say we were going to have super hot sex again. But I couldn't help but think we'd be doing that too.
He didn't say a word to me as we walked into his building. Or as the elevator doors slid open. Or when we stepped on.
But soon as the doors closed, he leaned against the side of the elevator and pulled me against him. His hands trailed down my back and stopped just above my ass. "Hey," he said. His voice sounded so sexy. Maybe he had no intention of swimming or going to the beach. I could feel his erection through his swim trunks. Maybe we were just going to have mind-blowing sex all night instead.
I smiled up at him. I wasn't going to protest that at all. I closed my eyes and tilted my head up so that he'd kiss me.
Instead he ran the tip of his nose down the length of mine. For some reason it felt even more intimate than a kiss. I opened my eyes. He was staring at me so intently, our noses a fraction of an inch away from touching again. I was completely lost in his blue eyes.
"Everyone's already up at the pool," he said. "I'm glad I have a new chicken fighting partner. We're going to crush them."
It took me a second to process what he was saying. "Oh, fun." All I wanted to do was press the button to stop the elevator and jump his bones. But he had told me what he was inviting me over for. I just hadn't realized his friends would be a part of it. He lived with his friends, though. Of course they'd be here.
But they were all at the pool. Which meant his apartment was currently empty.
"Actually, I need to use the bathroom real quick," he said and pressed the button for his floor.
"Yeah, me too." I wasn't sure why I said it. I didn't have to use the restroom. But really I just wanted to be alone with him in his apartment. Apparently that was what he wanted too. Or maybe he actually had to pee.
The elevator doors opened a second later, so I didn't have time to analyze the way he was looking at me. I watched him unlock his door. I wanted to be forward. But if he actually had to take a piss, he'd make fun of me. I bit my lip and walked into his apartment. The lights were off, but the sun was streaming in through the closed curtains.
I heard the door lock behind me. I gulped. He flipped the switch and the room was flooded in light.
"I don't actually need to go to the bathroom," I said. It was easier to be bold when I wasn't staring directly at him.
J.J. wrapped his arms around me from behind and kissed the side of my neck. "Me either." And I knew he wasn't lying. I could feel his erection pressing against the small of my back now. He pushed the bottom of my tank top up, pressing his palms against my skin.
"Aren't your friends waiting for us?"
He continued to push my tank top up until his hands reached my bikini top. He massaged my breasts through the thin fabric. "Would you be mad if I told you I was just trying to get you alone?"
I laughed, but my laugh quickly turned to a moan as his fingers found my nipples.
He untied my bikini top and pushed it and my tank top up. I lifted my arms and let him trace my skin with his fingertips as he pulled them both off. They fell to the floor. Last time I had lost my top in his apartment, I had covered myself. This time, I kept my arms to my side. I wanted him to see me. And I wanted to see him.
"You could have just come to my place if you wanted to be alone with me," I said as his fingers ran down my stomach. My whole body felt alive.
"Ever since I saw you in my room, I can't stop thinking about having you naked on my bed."
I gulped.
"And I'm barely ever alone here. I wanted to take advantage of this opportunity." He undid the button on my jeans shorts and pushed them and my bathing suit bottoms down over my hips. They fell down my legs. His fingers trailed back up the insides of my thighs. One hand continued up to my breast, but the other stayed between my thighs, inching closer and closer to where I was aching for his touch.
I moaned when his fingers brushed across my wetness.
"You're so wet for me, Mila." His breath was hot against my neck. His finger encircled me, teasing me.
I moaned at his dirty words. But my moan quickly turned into a squeal when he lifted me over his shoulder and carried me to his room. There were so many things we still needed to talk about. But for just a few moments, I wanted to feel instead of think. He placed me on the edge of his bed. I wasn’t sure where he’d lost his swim trunks, but he thrust deep inside of me, my name on his lips.
Maybe I’d just feel instead of think for the rest of my life.