As soon as I closed my shop on Wednesday, I drove out to the ranch and turned on the hot tub. The shop would be closed until after the wedding, and I wanted to enjoy a bit of quiet before the busyness of the next few days.
Garrett was working, and I didn’t want to bother him, so I didn’t mention my impromptu soak. But it wasn’t quite the same being here alone.
I dropped my bag on the bed. This cabin wouldn’t be a bad place to live. The place was furnished with basic pieces: a small table near the kitchenette, a couch and coffee table in the living room, and a bed and dresser in the bedroom. If I moved here, I’d either need to sell stuff or store it. As much as I wanted to live out here on the ranch, it would be so much harder to keep it friendly with Garrett. And any time a sprout of courage made me think dating Garrett wasn’t such a big risk, fear showed up and trampled everything.
While idyllic in one way, the relationship I had with him wasn’t fair to either of us. If I couldn’t embrace the idea of a relationship, I’d have to pull away. But just like I’d let myself enjoy our atypical friendship for that week at the house, I gave myself permission to enjoy things as they were until after the wedding.
I changed into my swimsuit and pulled on the robe. As I turned to walk out to the porch, I spotted fuzzy slippers sitting beside the bedroom door. They were decorated to look like doughnuts with pink icing and sprinkles. On top of them was a note that read: Saw these and thought of you.
As I stared at the slippers, for some completely irrational reason, my brain pictured those cute little slippers as a metaphor for a romantic relationship with Garrett. They might fit perfectly. They would probably be warm and comfortable, but there was also the possibility that I’d slide my foot inside and my toes would meet a nasty scorpion. In these parts, it wasn’t unusual to find a scorpion in your shoe.
Putting the slippers on included a risk, but by not putting them on, I’d never know which part was true.
After staring at them way too long, I padded outside in my bare feet and tossed my robe over the back of a chair, trying not to think about how much time and effort Garrett had put into my Christmas gift. In addition to the hot tub, there were several pieces of patio furniture and the screens. It was the perfect getaway.
Once I submerged in the warm water, I closed my eyes. The only thing left to do for the wedding was make the cakes, and I had all of tomorrow and part of Friday to make them. The cakes would be nothing short of fabulous because that was what my friends deserved.
My phone rang, and I answered the call on speaker. “Hi, Mom.”
“Tessa, any news?”
“About?”
“Oh, you know . . . anything.” She stayed quiet for almost a second. “Okay, fine. I’m asking about Garrett.”
I hadn’t mentioned to my mother that he’d given me a cabin and a hot tub because my parents would never buy the friendship story if they knew that.
“He’s working at the ranch. So far he really likes it.”
“Good. But I wanted to know more about the two of you.”
“We’re still friends.”
She sighed like a balloon being deflated. “I was afraid of that.”
“How are you and Dad? Sorry I haven’t called this week. It’s been all wedding and doughnuts.” I kept still so she wouldn’t hear the water splashing.
“We’re good. Your dad suggested that after Eli’s wedding we go away on a second honeymoon. Our neighbor said they’d feed the cats and look after the dogs.”
I looked at the phone as if that could in any way confirm that she’d actually said what I’d heard. “A second honeymoon?”
“Sounds romantic, doesn’t it? Your dad isn’t the gushy type, but sometimes he surprises me.” I could hear the smile in her voice. “We’ve been seeing a counselor, and things are going well. There were lies I believed that were keeping me from a happier life. I’m dealing with those things now.”
I needed my mom to get out of my head. This was not the time.
Boots sounded on the porch, and I turned and smiled up at Garrett.
“Hey, Tessa.” His voice was deep and smooth.
“Hi, Garrett. I’ll let you go, Tessa.” Mom ended the call before I could say goodbye.
He glanced around the porch, then dropped into a chair. “Rough day?”
“Not too bad. But I’m not sure how much downtime I’ll have until after the wedding is over. I almost texted you, but I figured you were out working.”
“I was. When I spotted your car, I thought I’d pop by and say hi.” He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees.
“Thank you for the slippers. They’re super cute.”
“Did they fit?”
Of course he would ask me that question.
“Not sure yet.”
He stood and propped his hands on his head with his fingers laced together. “I should run, but if you want anything, call me. Or text me.”
“I know.” There was no question in my mind that no matter why or when, I could call Garrett and he’d show up to help me.
Who wouldn’t want a friend like that?
Late Friday night after the pre-wedding festivities had ended, I eased into the warm water, the heat chasing away the cold. Staying at the cabin this weekend was a great choice. The rehearsal dinner and wedding were at the venue, and I had access to the hot tub.
“Knock, knock. Garrett’s wine delivery service.” He set two mugs down next to the hot tub, then shrugged off his coat and kicked off his flip flops. “I didn’t have any wine glasses, so we’re using mugs for our wine tonight.”
I laughed at the matching cups. “You bought another friend mug.”
“It just seems like the sort of mug there should be two of.” He sighed as he stepped into the water. “This feels amazing. I’m glad I added the footpath from my front porch to your back porch. It’s quite convenient.”
“That was a good idea.” I picked up a mug. “Thanks for the wine.”
He sat next to me. “Think Delaney is going to get any sleep tonight?”
“Probably not. She and Eli will probably spend all night on the phone. It was fun watching them tonight at the rehearsal.”
“All it takes is seeing them together for two minutes, and you know they love each other.” He sipped his wine.
“I remember the first time they were in the same room. Eli barely said a word. He always acted that way when he met someone attractive. But somehow, in spite of all of his quiet and her rules, they figured out that they love each other. And I’m so excited about tomorrow because this makes them happy. Truly happy.”
“And who doesn’t want to be happy?”
“Exactly. Speaking of happy . . . how are you? How’s life on the ranch? We haven’t talked much this week.” I worried the kiss at New Year’s had changed something forever. For him. I knew it had for me. Inside, at least.
“I’ve been up with the sun every morning and working my butt off until after sundown every night, trying to learn about ranching. I’ve fallen asleep on my couch so many times this week. The only night I slept in my bed was the night I skipped sitting on the couch altogether and crawled under the covers as soon as I got home. That’s why I hardly texted or called this week.”
“Adjusting to a completely different schedule can be brutal.” I knew that firsthand.
“How was your week?” He pulled one arm out of the water and stretched it out on the deck behind me.
“Good, but busy. I was closed Thursday and spent all day making the cakes for the wedding. Today, I’ve been helping Delaney stay calm. And thank you again for this amazing gift. Cami, Delaney, and I met here just before lunch and soaked in the hot tub while we discussed what things were left to be done. We were all more relaxed after that.”
That gorgeous smile stretched across his face. “I’m glad you like it.”
“Are you happy with your decision about changing careers?”
He nodded. “Very happy with my decision. I’m still kind of afraid I’ll make a fool of myself a time or two. And I know it won’t be easy. But the easiest things in life aren’t always what will make you the happiest.”
“I’ve never really thought about it that way.”
“I’ve had to remind myself of that every time I’ve fallen off a horse, picked hay out of my hair, or been snagged by a barbed-wire fence. But nothing risked; nothing gained.”
“I bet you’re sore.”
He nodded. “My muscles are adjusting.”
I tapped his shoulder. “Move in front of me.”
He shifted, and I set my mug on the edge, freeing up my hands. Slowly, I rubbed my thumbs into his shoulders, fighting through my hesitancy. Garrett and I had agreed we would finish the conversation after the wedding, and I knew he wouldn’t bring it up tonight.
But I needed him to know I was trying, that I wanted this. Him.
After several minutes of silence as I massaged his sore body, he pulled my arms around him. “That felt amazing. Are you free every night?”
I rested my chin on his shoulder. “I’ll check my calendar.”
A shooting star darted across the sky.
I tapped his arm. “Did you see that?”
“Make a wish, Tessa.” He moved behind me and pulled me into his lap.
I wished that in spite of my fear, I’d be brave enough to risk myself to gain . . . love. This wasn’t about dating anymore. I’d stupidly thought that not dating would mean never risking anything. Hogwash.
“Done. Did you make a wish?”
He pressed his cheek to mine, and I could feel his smile.
“I did, and maybe soon I’ll tell you about it.”
We sat snuggled in the hot tub as other stars streaked across the sky.
My fear wasn’t gone, but I was learning to tame it and shut it up. And right now, I was content wrapped in Garrett’s arms.