Ben stood in the lobby of their apartment building, humming along with the instrumental Christmas music that was pumped through the room’s speakers as he waited for Rebecca. He could picture her in the bedroom of her fifth floor apartment, five floors below his own, trying on and discarding accessories instead of realizing that she already looked perfect. Throughout their entire friendship, she had always kept him waiting, and he had never minded. Families and couples bustled in and out of the building; each time the door opened, a cold gust of air would whoosh into the building. Snow drifted softly through the air just outside the window, and foot traffic was picking up as the workday ended. It seemed that every person who passed was weighted down with shopping bags or stacks of festively wrapped gifts.
The elevators opened, and Rebecca came out with the crowd of residents. She caught his eyes and a smile lit up her face, giving his heart a squeeze at the sight of her. She wore a matching violet coat and hat, and bundled up for the snowy weather outside, she looked adorable. Ben strode towards her and met her halfway, careful to appear casual.
“Sorry it took me so long to get ready. I couldn’t find my scarf.” She apologized.
“No worries. You look great.” Ben offered his arm and she took it with a gloved hand. She squeezed his bicep as cool air hit their faces, and he looked down at her. She was beautiful, positively radiant.
They headed out of the building, both gasping as the cold air hit their faces, and walked the short distance to their favorite neighborhood bar, O’Reilly’s. Snowflakes melted on Rebecca’s hair and on the tips of her eyelashes as they shed their coats and settled into the warmth of a booth. Ben ordered a pitcher of beer for them and allowed himself a long look at Rebecca while she busied herself with taking off her gloves and scarf. Flushed from the cold, she looked vibrant and alive…and absolutely gorgeous. Her clear, cornflower blue eyes met his and she smiled, her full lips distracting him for a moment. She ran a hand through her long auburn hair and cringed.
“Yuck. How could so much snow get in my hair in such a short walk? I must look like a drowned rat.” She ran her fingers through her hair, combing it.
“Don’t be silly. You look beautiful, as usual.” Ben said softly. “Ah, thank you,” he said to the waitress who brought their drinks. He gave her a bright smile, glad for the distraction.
Rebecca took the glass he offered and enjoyed a long pull from her beer. “God, I needed that. This has been the week from hell.”
“Do you want to talk about it or shall we try to take your mind off your candy conundrums?”
“Please, no more talk about candy. I’ll take anything, even the Eagles.” She joked. He was a diehard Philadelphia Eagles fan, and she had always hated football.
“Oh, I wouldn’t do that to you. You’ve suffered enough.” He could think of several ways to comfort Rebecca, but for now, he settled for alcohol and light conversation.
“Speaking of the Eagles, I have a little something for you.” She fished an envelope out of her handbag and passed it to him.
He pulled out a pair of tickets to an upcoming Eagles game. “Wow, thanks! I didn’t think I’d get to go to a game this season.”
“You’re welcome. I hope you can get away. Jeff was selling them, so I grabbed them for you. Thought it might be nice to get you a little something, since you legal eagles don’t do Secret Santa in your department. Maybe you could stay with your parents or get a hotel in Philly?”
“Oh sure, I’ll bet I can get my dad to go with me if they’re in town. This is really cool, Becks. Thanks.”
“I’ll drive out there with you if want. We could make a weekend of it if you don’t want to go alone.”
He decided right then that his father wouldn’t be available for the game. Just imagining spending a few hours on the road with Rebecca made his heart pump harder. Surely, she’d go to the game too. And it would be cold, so she’d have to snuggle up to him for warmth. “Sounds like it’s a date.”
“So, what was Mr. Morgan doing in your office today?” She changed the subject, temporarily derailing his fantasy.
Ben laughed. Richard Morgan fascinated the women in the office, and Rebecca wasn’t immune. Hell, he could see it himself. He was a good-looking man, personable, powerful. “It was just a routine meeting with all of legal. I barely spoke to him.”
She feigned a swoon. “He’s just so gorgeous. I don’t know how you stand taking meetings with him so often.”
“Somehow I manage,” Ben deadpanned. The truth was that Richard Morgan was one in a long line of foolish crushes. Rebecca had a depressing habit of pining after unattainable or inappropriate men, always hoping to find “The One.” Throughout their friendship, he had stood aside while she dated many different guys, and it never got easier. He was only able to manage because nothing ever lasted longer than a few dates. The thought of her having a serious relationship with another man turned his stomach.
Luckily, Rebecca never picked anyone who she could actually have a satisfying relationship with. By the time he’d met her, she’d long outgrown her awkward high school science nerd phase, but according to her, the improvements came after a heartbreaking adolescence. Once, after pulling an all-nighter together, she’d shared a horrifying story from high school. She’d been elated to be asked out by a popular guy that she tutored in science, only to find out that it was all a joke. He’d lost a bet with his buddies and had asked her out on a dare. What followed was the most humiliating night of her life, and as far as Ben was concerned, was the beginning of her refusal to allow herself anything real for fear that it would be taken from her. She never talked about that incident again, but he could see the effects manifesting in her life, in everything from the guys she chose to the opportunities she let slip by at work.
“So are you bringing a date to the Christmas party?” Morgan Confectioners threw an elaborate holiday party for employees each year. In the three years that Ben and Rebecca had both been working for them, they had always attended the party together, but he knew better than to assume.
“Nope. You?”
“Well, Heidi Klum isn’t returning my calls, so I guess I’m going stag again.”
She grinned. “Good, because I don’t think I could face standing awkwardly by the dessert table alone.”
“You won’t have to.” Ben assured her, relieved and happy to be her date, even if he was just a trusty standby. “I’m prepared to make the supreme sacrifice of eating my weight in chocolate truffles. Because that’s just the kind of friend I am.” Rebecca laughed, and he felt stupidly pleased that he could make her crack up. She’d been way too serious lately, stressed about Jeff riding her at work. He clapped his hands together and looked around the bar, his gaze settling on a man alone at one end of the counter. “All right, so what’s that guy’s story?”
She squinted her eyes as she thought, and her mouth turned a bit to the side. If he thought playing their game would help get his mind off of the way she’d look in a party dress, he was wrong. When she concentrated, he wanted to lean over and kiss those twisty lips. “Hmm. Look at his shifty eyes and the way he’s cradling that briefcase. He’s definitely hiding something.” She sipped her beer and tapped her fingertips on the table. “Oh! I’ve got it. He’s meeting her.” She pointed to a blonde sitting alone with a glass of wine. “He works for a cosmetics company, and he stole a new mascara formula to impress her. She’s just using him, but he doesn’t realize it yet. He thinks if he gets the formula for her, she’ll start to see him as a man of mystery. He’s in for a big disappointment.”
“How sad for him.”
By the time they’d polished off the pitcher of beer, Rebecca seemed happier and more relaxed. They bundled up and made their way back to their apartment building, trudging through the snow, weaving through the holiday shopping crowds, and laughing together.
“Want to come up? We can order Chinese, play a little Scrabble?” Ben asked as he pressed the elevator button for the tenth floor.
“Sure. That’s probably better than wallowing alone in my apartment with the pint of ice cream that’s waiting for me and worrying about work.”
Ben unlocked his apartment and let Rebecca in, watching with amusement as she carelessly dropped her gloves, scarf, and coat in a heap on a chair. He hung his coat up in the front closet and handed her a takeout menu. “Your choice tonight.”
She took the menu. “Hmm, free drinks, now dinner. I have to say, I am really enjoying this. I should have horrible weeks more often.” She grinned up at him and he found himself grinning back, certain there was a goofy look on his face.
Ben pulled himself together and made his way through the apartment to his kitchen while she settled down on his couch with the menu. The truth was it was just an excuse for him to pamper her. If Ben had his way, he would treat her like this every day for the rest of her life. He had entertained crushes on Rebecca several times throughout their friendship, but nothing ever came of them. Any time he got close to confessing his feelings, she would say or do something to stop him, almost as though she knew it was coming and was afraid.
If history was any indication, he could expect to suffer through unrequited love for a while, and when it passed, their friendship would become bearable again. He just had to wait it out. The thought of losing her altogether was enough to make him keep his romantic feelings secret, no matter how painful it became. Surely, it would pass.
Rebecca sat curled up on his couch, her feet tucked under her, and she reached out as he approached. She took the diet soda he offered, but for a fleeting moment he imagined that she was holding out her arms for him. He sank into the couch next to her and passed the stereo remote control to her. “Find something good.”
She took the remote and began flipping through the stations, finally settling on classic rock, and he set up the Scrabble board on the coffee table in front of them. She put her feet in Ben’s lap, and he rubbed them through her soft socks, falling into their routine without thinking.
“It’s decided. From now on, I’m coming straight over whenever I have a bad day. I feel better already.” She flexed her feet and relaxed. A contented sigh escaped her lips and landed straight in his gut.
They set up their racks of letter tiles in companionable silence, but Ben was acutely aware of Rebecca. He could hear her breath, smell her fragrance, and feel the heat from her body. It was torturous, and when the takeout delivery guy arrived, Ben welcomed him with more enthusiasm than was necessary. If she noticed that he was jumping at any chance to distract himself when they got close, she didn’t say anything. He served her at his coffee table so they could settle in and play while they ate dinner, and he excused himself to wash his hands. When he came back, she was sitting cross-legged on the floor, already tucked into her plate of noodles. She looked up at him as she slurped a noodle through her pursed lips and grinned.
“Sorry, I couldn’t wait. Hope you don’t find my garlic breath too offensive tonight.”
You’re perfect to me. If you only knew. Ben joined her on the floor and served himself. “I’m just glad you saved some for me.”
“Hey!” She punched his shoulder lightly, and he thought to himself that he could very happily spend the rest of his life like this, sitting beside her, eating Chinese food. When they finished dinner, they each took a fortune cookie and cracked them open.
Rebecca unfurled her fortune and read aloud. “’Someone is secretly in love with you.’ Hmm…maybe it’s Richard!”
Ben rolled his eyes. “Probably. I’m sure he’s thinking of ways to let his fiancée down easy as we speak,” he teased. He read his own fortune and thought to himself how true the words were. “Good things take time.” He only wished it didn’t take so much time. Of course, he had no intention of sharing his developing feelings with her. Not yet anyway, not while he could still bear to keep his secret. Their friendship was everything to him, and if keeping her in his life as nothing more than a friend meant that he didn’t get everything he wanted, that’s how it had to be.