Three days later, Rebecca sat in Jeff’s office, perched on the edge of the chair, her leg bouncing nervously, as he finished a phone call. His message earlier had simply told her to report to his office immediately, and she couldn’t help but wonder what had gone wrong this time. She wasn’t sure she could take another setback or more bad news. He ended his call, and her throat dried up as she waited to see what he’d say.
“Thanks for coming in, Rebecca. I know you’re probably slammed right now, but I wanted to talk with you before the holiday.”
“Of course,” she managed to say. She held her breath as he flipped through the folders sitting on his desk before pulling one out and pushing it towards her.
“We’ve expected a lot from you since you developed the champagne lollipops, and you’ve really come through. For a while, I wasn’t sure you could top it, but you’ve hit the ball out of the park with the new candy.” Jeff smiled as Rebecca breathed a sigh of relief. “So, I’d like to offer you a promotion. Head of Development.”
“Wow, thank you, sir. I really appreciate it.”
“You earned it.” He handed her the folder. “Here are the offer details. Just look them over, and take everything down to human resources when you’re ready. They’ll take care of you.”
She took the folder and rose, still processing the news. “Thank you again.”
“Hey, we’re lucky to have you. Will I see you at the party tonight?”
Rebecca wasn’t sure she wanted to go to the party anymore, not if she couldn’t go with Ben. Her new position made her more visible, though, and she’d be expected to interact with other departments. “Sure. I’ll see you there.”
Holding the folder close to her chest, she strode down the hallway towards her office, her head spinning with excitement over the promotion. Her good mood fizzled when she realized that she couldn’t run across the building and share her news with Ben. He believed in her when she didn’t believe in herself. She’d been sure she’d fail, and not only had she succeeded, she’d been promoted. Ever since that time in high school when she was so publicly humiliated, she’d been afraid to go after what she wanted. She’d been sure that she’d end up falling short somehow or would be denied if she dared to strive for something. Thankfully, she’d proven herself wrong professionally. Personally, however, her fear of failure had become something of a self-fulfilling prophecy. Ben had been so angry, so hurt, when she left that surely it was too late for them. Every man had his limits, and she’d trampled all over his.
She stopped in the mailroom and saw the familiar beautiful wrapping paper covering a small package in her mailbox. With trembling hands and a pounding heart, Rebecca unwrapped the gift and gasped when she saw that it was a gorgeous gift edition of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. It had to be from Ben. After everything she’d put him through, she wouldn’t have blamed him one bit if he never spoke to her again. Instead, he was still thoughtful and kind, giving her the tiniest kernel of hope that maybe there was still a chance for them. Tonight, at the Christmas party, she’d lay it all out and hope that he’d forgive her. Rebecca was through letting fear stop her from going after what she wanted, finished with holding back just in case things didn’t work out. She wanted Ben, and she might have been stupid enough to let him go once, but she wouldn’t make the mistake again. If he turned her down tonight, then at least she tried.
• • •
Rebecca stood in the doorway of the ballroom rented for the company Christmas party and watched the people inside. Well-dressed men and women in festive, brightly colored cocktail dresses swirled around the room. But everything was grey to Rebecca now that Ben was gone.
Ben. Would he be here tonight? Would he bring a date? Was it too late? Rebecca couldn’t wait to see him again, to beg for forgiveness, and if things went well, to start their lives together. She’d avoided him at work and in their apartment building, too afraid to see him after she’d walked out. It was exhausting, but at least while they were apart she could tell herself that he’d forgive her indecision and still be willing to take a chance on their relationship. Tonight, she’d find out for sure. The thought that he might reject her, that it really was too late, gutted her, but she had to risk it. She’d been wrong to walk away from him that night, to be afraid to face her feelings, and her only hope was that he’d forgive her. She loved Ben, always had. She just never admitted it to herself. It was time to take a chance, to give herself the opportunity to be happy.
Rebecca took a fortifying breath and walked into the ballroom, scanning the crowd for faces from her department. A few girls from her team were chatting by the bar, so she wound her way through the crowd to join them.
“Hey girls, what’s everyone drinking?” She flashed a bright smile and put on a brave face. Nobody knew that her life had crumbled around her stilettos, and Rebecca was more than willing to keep her troubles a secret.
She exchanged greetings with everyone and accepted a sweet, fizzy, holiday-themed cocktail with a clever name that she promptly forgot. She sipped, enjoying the bubbles on her tongue and noting with relief that she could taste plenty of hard alcohol. Rebecca put a hand on Stephanie’s arm. “Mm,” she swallowed her sip. “I have a little something for you.” She produced a wrapped gift.
“Oh, you’re my Secret Santa? Thank you so much. I have loved all of my gifts.” Stephanie gave Rebecca a light hug, and then opened her gift. “Ooh, thanks! I can’t wait to watch!” Rebecca was sure that Stephanie would like the DVD of her celebrity crush’s latest romantic comedy.
“You’re welcome; I hope you’ll enjoy it.”
“Have you found out who yours is?”
“My Secret Santa? No, but I’m pretty sure I know who it is.” Nobody else would’ve been able to choose such perfect gifts for her, and the fact that he went to so much trouble made her even more certain that she was making the right choice. If only she knew that he would be here tonight, that there was the chance that it could still work out.
A shoulder nudged against hers, and she whipped around, coming face to face with Richard Morgan.
“Excuse me, Miss Sinclair. I didn’t mean to startle you.” Richard’s easy smile revealed a beautiful set of straight white teeth and a dimple in his cheek.
“Oh, no, it’s fine. I’m fine. I mean, hello, Merry Christmas, sir.” She stammered, warmth flooding her cheeks. When she recovered from her flub, she realized that there was nothing, no jolt of excitement, no buzzing attraction. Nothing. Ben had taken up residence in her heart and there wasn’t room for anyone else.
An indescribably beautiful woman approached and kissed Richard on the cheek. Rebecca dropped her gaze and sipped her drink. The woman laid an elegant hand on Richard’s lapel, and the sparkles from her engagement ring threatened to blind Rebecca. She was distracted only long enough to miss the woman’s equally elegant baby bump for a moment. Why had she wasted any time on this silly crush? It was so obvious now that it was embarrassing. Everything she could ever want in a man had been right in front of her all along, but instead of taking it, she distracted herself with stupid fantasies. She was finished with that, and it was time to take a leap of faith—if Ben would still have her, of course. She wished the couple happy holidays and left the bar in search of her best friend.
As she wove between the rapidly filling dinner tables, her attention was caught by a figure in her peripheral vision, and without even focusing, she knew it was Ben. His brown hair was neat, probably freshly cut, and his silvery grey tie matched her dress nicely, as if they’d planned it. Her heart swelled when he turned his head and their eyes met.
She missed him. She needed him.
She didn’t deserve him, but hopefully that didn’t mean she couldn’t have him.
Before she could chicken out, Rebecca was on her feet and walking to Ben’s table. He sat up straight in his chair while she approached, but he didn’t rise.
“Hey.” His voice was husky, rough, and his eyes were wary.
“Hey. I didn’t know if—” she paused, swallowing against the lump forming in her throat, “if you would be here tonight.” She choked the last part out and clasped her hands together to still the shaking.
He took a sip from his wine glass. “Couldn’t resist those truffles,” he said dryly.
Awkwardly, Rebecca shifted, suddenly consciously aware of the hush that had fallen over his table. Six legal eagles were staring at them with avid interest.
“Can we talk? Somewhere private?”
Ben looked at her for a long moment, and then finally stood up with a curt nod to Rebecca’s relief. He was obviously still angry, but at least, he was willing to listen. She led him through the ballroom, weaving in and out of the crowd, until they made it out to the lobby. Rebecca headed for a relatively quiet corner, sinking down on a plush velvet sofa and Ben sat down beside her, leaving several careful inches between them. A pianist played softly on the other side of the reception area, couples came in from the cold, shaking snow off of their coats, and party guests filtered in and out of the ballrooms. Laughter, music, and chatter filled the air, but all Rebecca could hear was her heartbeat. Ben’s serious face and stoic silence had Rebecca’s nerves jumping. He was waiting for an answer, and it was her turn to face her fears. He’d laid everything out to her and was still willing to hear her out after she’d been unable to take a chance on him. Ben deserved better, and she was finally ready to give it to him.
Before, it was easy to ignore her feelings and tell herself that there would always be time and that he’d always be available. His refusal to be taken for granted forced her hand. It was time to either admit to herself that she wanted to be with him or be willing to lose him forever.
She inhaled with a deep, shuddering sound, overwhelmed with emotion. “I can’t stand not seeing you. I’ve missed you so much.” Tears threatened to spill over her lashes, and she cleared her throat.
“You’re the one who walked out.” Ben said softly, but not unkindly.
“I was wrong, so wrong, and I’m sorry. I took you for granted, and I’ve never regretted anything more in my life. I want you back. I need you.” She pleaded with him, so afraid that he would get up and walk away. She put her hand on his leg and looked into his eyes. Her future, her home, was sitting right beside her, and he had been there all along. She’d just been too scared to admit it to herself. “I love you, Ben. I just got scared and ran away, but I won’t run again. I’m here now, and if you’ll have me, I’ll stay.”
“So, are you saying that you’re ready to take a real chance on us?” Ben’s expression was cautiously optimistic, and it gave her courage to continue.
“If it’s not too late, yes,” she paused, waiting for a reaction. “Besides, Richard Morgan is apparently taken.”
He smiled at that, tentatively, but it was there and inwardly she sighed with relief. “I think I might have mentioned that.”
“Yeah, well I was stupid,” she smile sheepishly, then grew more serious. “Ben, I was really stupid. When I think of all the time I wasted…” she trailed off, shaking her head. “I think that the reason I haven’t found “The One” yet is because he’s been in front of me all along. Nobody else could ever be better for me than you. I want to be with you, because I’m in love with you.”
“Are you certain?”
She had never been surer of anything in her life. “Yes. One hundred percent.”
He smiled then, a real, genuine, deep smile. The kind that crinkled the corners of his eyes and lit up his face. “I love you too. I always have, and I always will.”
Ben took Rebecca’s face in his hands and she stared into his gorgeous blue eyes. She should have seen it years ago, but maybe it was best this way. Maybe she hadn’t been ready until right now. A few years ago she would’ve found a reason to push him away, would’ve sabotaged a good thing. She nearly had now. It was years in the making, but it was right. She knew it for sure.
She lifted her face to his and pressed a kiss to his mouth. Ben pulled her into his arms, embracing her tightly as he deepened the kiss. Rebecca’s heart sang out with pleasure. This is where she belonged, in the arms of the man she loved. Ben pulled back and took a small, beautifully wrapped gift from his jacket pocket. The telltale gold wrapping paper was the same as each holiday gift she’d received.
Rebecca read the tag aloud. “'Love, Your Secret Santa.' I knew it was you.”
Ben pressed another kiss to her lips. “It was me all along.”