Gavin pressed kisses on the sides of her mouth, coming back to her upper lip, encouraging her to open to him.
Gently, their tongues met in slow, languid joining, and she moaned from the familiarity of his unique flavor. He tasted like sugar and whiskey and lust. She ran her hands up his hard torso, felt his pecs jump, and circled her arms around his neck. As he slid his mouth to her chin, trailing kisses down her jaw, he groaned, locking her body tight to his. Her head fell back and her eyes drifted close. Oh yes…she never felt more wanted than when Gavin held her and kissed her. She could never forget it; his passion transformed her. It was so potent and affecting, somehow managing to weaken yet revive her at the same time.
“Gavin...” She ached for his kiss again. In the back of her mind, a voice warned her, this could just be him proving a point. But another insisted she still wanted him, and he could take her anytime he wished. That one won out. If it was a game to him, well, she’d savor losing and regret it later.
He dragged his mouth over her neck and back to her lips, kissing her ardently, taking all he could, as if expecting her to push him away.
She wouldn’t—couldn’t—even if she wanted to.
He broke the kiss and lifted her up by her waist. She wrapped her legs around his hips while he carried her toward the fireplace. Slowly, he set her down on her back. They kissed again. This time gently, unrushed. Julia’s heart pounded in contrast with her slow caresses, her body aching with rapacious need, to lose herself with Gavin. From the moment he’d walked in the door, she’d been putting off the inevitable. She’d only been fooling herself, by thinking she could control this situation, and keep her dormant feelings locked.
As his hot mouth slid down her neck, his fingers slid the front of her sweater, tugged her lace bra away, and exposed her nipple. Julia arched while his mouth descended over the slope of her breast. He captured her peak; the tantalizing graze of his teeth and slide of his tongue shooting electrics sparks through her blood. She raked her fingers through his hair, and moaned his name. Lifting his head, he gave her a small, knowing smile, and planted a kiss between her small breasts. “I should stop before I get ahead of myself. We should talk, Julia. Before we go any further.”
Reality and shame hit her like a dash of cold water. She nodded as she moved her bra over her breast. “I know. I can’t believe this is happening…” She cast her eyes away from his steady look. “I’m such an idiot. I thought I could turn my feelings off.”
“We’re both fools. I should’ve fought for you a lot harder months ago. I let my pride get in the way when you left. It tore me up.”
With a sigh, he moved off, lying next to her.
She shifted so they could face one another and finally be honest. “Gavin, I want to apologize. About last year. Back then, I wanted too much from you. I know when we first got together I agreed to keep things casual and fun, but somewhere in between, I found myself…well, I was in love with you.” She lifted her head to rest on her hand. “It was the first time I’d ever really been in love, and it freaked me out. I should’ve waited for you to catch up to me. I guess I was afraid you never would.” Her brows came together at his strange look. “What?”
“Come here.” He grabbed her, pulling her to sit atop him as gripped her arms. “Did I hear you right? You were in love with me?”
She rolled her eyes, trying to move off him, but he held her in place. Sighing she said, “Don’t play dumb. You heard me say it that last night we were together.”
His hands squeezed tighter, his eyes flashing confusion. “No, I didn’t.”
“It’s pointless pretending otherwise now. I said it, and you didn’t say it back. You ignored me.”
He released his hold. She had to admit he was pulling off a pretty good genuine look of bewilderment. His arms pushed the floor as he sat up, keeping her in his lap. “Why in the name of—of Christmas, would I ever ignore something like that?”
Julia gave an empty laugh. “Because you weren’t ready? Because you didn’t want to say something you didn’t feel? Take your pick. It didn’t matter which one. Then when I saw an article online about you going on a date with some girl while we were together, I knew my feelings were not reciprocated.”
“Julia, I never heard you tell me you loved me.” His hands cupped her face. “I promise you.”
“Gavin—”
“As for the online tabloids you insist on trusting, I’m begging you to let my brief life as a reality “star” go, and start trusting me instead. That life is over. I’m thankful for the opportunity it gave me, but I want the spotlight off my life now. It’s taking a little longer than I thought, but the paparazzi will get bored with me. More importantly, they’ll get tired of making up stories once it’s clear I’m as normal and predictable as I was before the show.” Caressing her cheek, he continued, “The only girl I was with after that Halloween party, was you.”
Searching his face, etched with puzzlement, she was beginning to believe him.
“At what point during that night did you tell me you loved me?” he asked.
She bit her lip, shrugging. “While we were making love.”
Gavin closed his eyes on a sigh. “I swear, I didn’t hear you.”
She frowned. “I don’t believe you.”
“If I had heard you, Julia…I would’ve said it back. Immediately.”
Her stomach dropped with the statement. “What?” she breathed. “You would have?”
He nodded softly. “Why do you think I’m here right now? I want you back, Julia. I was in love with you, too.”
Was it true? Had he simply not heard her? Did she run away from what could’ve been because of a miscommunication? The despair of such a small, yet major, error grasped at her heart.
“I fell in love with you pretty hard and fast,” he admitted. “You and I felt good from the second you smiled at me in that sexy Chinese hot sauce costume.” She gave a light giggle and Gavin continued, “It was easy to be with you. I couldn’t remember being happier with anyone else. Yes, including Brooke,” he added at her skeptical look. “Especially Brooke. I didn’t have to be the reality star, the guy who said all the right things, or the happy jokester who never had a bad day. In other words, the Gavin they showed on TV. I could be myself, twenty-four hours a day, and that meant a lot to me.”
She blinked in confusion. “Why didn’t you tell me…any of this?”
“Because, well, it scared me too. We thought we were just having fun, enjoying the moment. But there were—” he squeezed his eyes shut, “so many moments when I would think, ‘God, I love this girl.’ And I didn’t know the right time to say it. I thought it was too soon to know if it was real or just hoping it was, and it occurred to me that maybe you didn’t feel the same. Then after you left, I thought it was confirmation I was right.”
Regretful tears gathered in her eyes. Grasping his face, she kissed him, wishing she could go back in time and just face her fear, instead of running at the first excuse. Her overwhelming feelings paralleled his as they kissed with hard, reckless passion, trying to make up for the time they’d lost—the time she’d given away.
She broke the kiss with breathless reluctance. “Gavin. This breaks my heart. We could’ve been together. If I just would’ve—”
“Don’t.” He silenced her with another kiss. “I wish we could go back, too. I really do. But what’s important is now.”
She gave him a weak smile. “To think if Ashley hadn’t invited us both in secret, we would’ve never had this talk.”
Gavin’s mouth twisted as his eyes cast down. “Well, actually…”
She tilted her head in questioning reproach. “Gavin?”
He reclined on his back with his hands behind his head. “Ashley asked me what I wanted for Christmas, what she could get the guy who seemingly had everything. I told her the only thing I wanted was for her to arrange a meeting with you. Alone, of course.”
Her mouth dropped, and she lightly hit his ribs. “You did set this up!”
He smiled shamelessly. “It didn’t take much to convince her. Once I told her how I felt, she said she knew you still had feelings for me too, and we set this up. I knew all along she would never say no. She’s a hopeless romantic, you know that.”
“You pretended you were as innocent as I was! So you were just going to keep me locked up with you until—until what?”
“I wasn’t going to lock you up,” he said with a chuckle, “All I asked for was a little time alone. I just wanted to see if it really was over between us.”
The laughter faded in his baby blues, as his expression turned serious. “I missed you, Julia. Even after all this time, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I had to know if there was anything left. Bruce said you weren’t seeing someone else and if I was going to go for it, I had to do it now.”
A little embarrassed at finding out she’d been set up by her friends, she pushed off him to stand up.
He rose up to catch her before she stormed off. “Are you angry?”
Resignation filled her voice. “Yes…and no. So this whole weekend was just for us?”
“Not just,” he said. “The plan was, I was going to be here early and wait for you. Then while they went to pick up Eli and Betsy, that would be the time for us to talk. I was lucky you even made it here in the cab. The fact there was a blizzard keeping us here and the others out there, was just…I don’t know…a Christmas miracle, I guess.”
The hairs on the back of her neck stood up at his words, and Julia’s lips quirked into a smile. Christmas miracle number two to get out of there didn’t manifest, but she was grateful for lucky number three. Her and Gavin back together. Third time’s the charm. “Well, I guess you couldn’t have possibly conjured a storm to give us all night alone together.”
“My powers aren’t quite that influential,” he admitted, eyes twinkling. “But if I could, I would’ve stopped time itself to make it happen.”
With a blinking whir, the house lit up. The radio snapped to life. The Christmas tree shined. The electricity hummed.
Julia looked around with a grin; it could be a coincidence, or it could be the mysterious magic of Christmas having its way once more. “What are we going to tell the others when they get here in the morning?”
“We won’t have to say a word. They’ll know.” Gazing down at her, he skimmed his knuckles down her cheek, and her pulse leaped. “I’m still in love with you, Julia,” he admitted, taking her hand and kissing her open palm. “All I want for us is a second chance. This time, do it right. Hold nothing back.”
Hold nothing back…she liked that: to be together with no assumptions, no gossip, no rumors.
No fear.
Her heart filled with joy, knowing she never stopped loving Gavin, and she was very fortunate she wouldn’t have to. “I’m still in love with you, too. I swear—” she choked on a little laugh, “I will always make that very clear.”
He gave a slow smile. “So will I.” His head dipped down, and brushed his lips over hers. “I’ll say it, and I’ll show it.”
Julia could barely suppress the shiver than rushed through her body, knowing what they would do next would have nothing to do with talking. As she leaned back, she wrapped her arms around his neck. “Starting now?”
He bit his lip and nodded, locking his arms tightly around her. “God, yes. Unless you plan to make me wait until morning?”
She gave a throaty laugh and kissed him, elated for a new beginning. “It’s Christmas Eve, Gavin, but you can open your present now.”