Books currently missing from Miss Josie’s inventory:
- The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by Frank Baum, a first edition.
- Dracula by Bram Stoker, a signed first edition.
- The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams, a first edition.
- The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien, a first edition.
- Little Women by Louisa May Alcott, a first edition.
- Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë, a first edition.
- Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen, a rare signed first edition.
“Holy moly,” said Ms. Anne early Monday morning when Miss Josie showed her the list. She’d come in to open the bookstore for us while we went to obedience training. “That’s quite the list.”
“It is,” said Miss Josie, chewing on her lower lip. “But it’s not about the money. Each of these books is a treasure. Something precious. Losing them would be tragic.”
Today Miss Josie had on flat shoes and a short dress in a pretty shade of blue. She’d pulled her curly blond hair into a low ponytail, but wisps had already escaped and curled around her face. For such a strait-laced person, Miss Josie had remarkably rebellious hair.
Ms. Anne looked at her watch. “Do you know what else would be tragic? Arriving late for your obedience lessons. Sexy Trainer Dude is probably already upset with you for emasculating him during the bear incident.”
“I did not emasculate him,” said Miss Josie. “He wet his pants. It had nothing to do with me. But you’re right. I don’t want to be late, especially because today is Capone’s first doggie daycare session. It’ll give us a chance to get the inventory done and look for the missing books. Capone can be distracting.”
Ms. Anne snorted. “A good word for it.” She bent down to pat me. “Be a good boy, Capone. Gracie will be waiting for you at doggie daycare. She has a grooming appointment this afternoon, so I dropped her off on my way over. The two of you will have fun together.”
It gave me something to look forward to, time with my pal Gracie. When we arrived at Misty Mountain, however, I was surprised to see the Grumpy Trainer waiting to teach our class. I’d been worried about dealing with Sexy Trainer Dude, and, of course, Hans, but this might be even worse.
Miss Josie seemed nervous, too. Things escalated when I got in a little tussle with a coonhound. We were messing around, but Grumpy Trainer scowled at us.
“Control your dog, please,” he said directly to Miss Josie. The coonhound’s owner gave her an apologetic look. Both of us had been equally guilty, but Miss Josie got blamed for it.
It ended up being a terrible class. I didn’t get called on to demonstrate, not even once. To make things worse, halfway through the course, Miss Josie realized she’d worn two different shoes today, one black and one blue. She was so embarrassed, but not as embarrassed as she became a few minutes later when I heaved and threw up all over the floor. As if vomiting weren’t bad enough, the contents of my stomach revealed something else.
“Is that a thong?” asked a woman with hair the same shade of red as the Irish setter puppy next to her. Did she choose her hair color based on her dog or her dog based on her hair color? I had no idea, but she reacted to the contents of my vomit with a combination of disgust and amazement. “Your dog threw up a pink thong.”
Miss Josie stared at the pile of vomit, which did indeed include a hot pink thong. In all honesty, I’d completely forgotten I’d eaten it. It had gone down so quickly. I pulled it out of her lingerie drawer as she showered this morning, and ate it, lickety-split, in one enormous gulp. It came out the way it went in, all in one piece, so no harm, no foul, right? I mean, technically, she could take the thong home, wash it, and wear it again. Other than eating it, and puking it up, I hadn’t harmed it at all.
Miss Josie, however, seemed disinclined to bring home a thong which had recently explored part of my digestive tract. Mortified, she grabbed a giant wad of paper towels and picked it up off the floor. She tossed everything into the garbage can, and as soon as the class ended, she took me straight up to doggie daycare to sign in.
“Hi, I’m Jenny,” said the girl at the desk. “And I’ll be taking care of Capone today. Don’t worry. He’s in good hands.”
“Thanks,” said Miss Josie, not looking worried at all as she handed over my leash to Jenny. I guess after the vomit and the thong she kind of needed time away from me.
As I nervously entered the doggie daycare room, the big dogs, including Hans, mocked me. They played in a separate area but jumped up to catch a glimpse of me through the plexiglass and barked at me from the door.
“Look at the puppy. Isn’t he cute? Guess what? I eat puppies for breakfast. I hate puppies.”
I highly doubted they actually ate puppies, but one could never be sure when dealing with Neanderthals. I refused to let them bait me into reacting. I marched past them, head held high.
Jenny slammed her fist on the door. “Shut up, you guys. Stop being jerks.”
Note to self: I love Jenny.
She brought me to a smaller area containing smaller dogs. Well, most were smaller. Only one dog was bigger than me, a giant, floppy, goldendoodle puppy named Townsend.
“Hi,” he said. “I’m Townsend. Do you want to be my friend? I want to be your friend. Let’s play. Playing is fun.”
“Please play with him,” moaned Gracie from her perch in the corner. She sat on top of a carpeted box. It looked almost like a throne, which suited Gracie well. “He’s driving us nuts.”
I played with Townsend for hours. We jumped and frolicked and tackled each other and licked parts that shouldn’t be licked by others. Even though Townsend tended to be a humper, it wasn’t a problem. We were young, wild, and free, and by the time Townsend’s owner came to pick him up, I knew I’d made a new friend.
I smelled Miss Josie’s arrival before I saw her. Her scent washed over me, a perfect mix of old books, and the honeysuckle and gardenia perfume she liked to wear. As I bounded out to meet her, led by the lovely Jenny, a growl coming from the big dog pen startled me.
“Watch your back, Capone.” I could barely see Hans through the crack in the door but knew it was him. I smelled his hot breath and caught a glimpse of the tip of his snout. “I’m going to get you. They’ll move you to the big dog room soon enough. When they do, I’ll get my revenge—I promise you. You humiliated my master and me, and now you’re going to pay.”
A shiver went over my body. Hans meant it, and he was psycho. Not majorly psycho, but psycho enough to be scary.
I cowered behind Jenny. As much as I’d enjoyed my time at doggie daycare today, and meeting my new buddy Townsend, I wasn’t sure if I ever wanted to come back. I also didn’t know if I’d have a choice in the matter.