Valentine’s Day came around again. While working on the Jeep, Jeremy had been giving it a lot of thought. Should he or shouldn’t he? His pride had taken quite a dent the year before when he’d chosen Alice as his valentine and been unexpectedly turned down. He wasn’t sure that he wanted to put himself through that again. He asked himself why he was even still thinking about Alice when there were any number of other, willing potential partners for the evening.
A few days before the fourteenth he decided he definitely wouldn’t ask her, and was immensely relieved by the resolution. But somehow he didn’t get around to making any alternative arrangements. No worries, he told himself, he’d just show up at the pub, same as last year. He’d have girls throwing themselves at him as usual, even the ones who had come with other partners.
But on the afternoon of Valentine’s Day, Jeremy found himself experiencing a sense of déjà-vu. Alice came rushing into the shed where he was tinkering to tell him that Carmen had cut her hind legs badly; Alice thought she must have been fighting other horses through the barbed-wire fence. Despite the seriousness of her tidings, Jeremy was temporarily distracted by how lovely she looked. Her hair was escaping loose from a low ponytail and her clothing was spattered with mud and blood, but her smooth skin and fit little form were glowing with health. In the relative darkness of the shed her agitated eyes seemed luminous.
Seeming frustrated by his lack of response, Alice grabbed Jeremy by both arms and looked up into his face. ‘Come on! I need some help. She won’t stand still for me!’
Jeremy smiled down at her stupidly and received a thump in the chest in return. She jogged to the old broken refrigerator that they used as mouse proof storage in the shed, and rummaged around for bandages and antiseptic.
‘We’ll need to give her a tetanus shot,’ she muttered, then, turning to Jeremy, added, ‘Get a tetanus needle from the fridge inside, please!’
Once the wounds had been cleaned, Jeremy and Alice were relieved to find that although messy, they weren’t very deep. They threw some lime powder onto the cuts and gave Carmen her needle. After being stubborn and difficult with Alice she behaved like a lady for Jeremy. He was tickled pink over this and explained that it was just his way with women. They let her out into the grassy holding yard where they would be able to keep an eye on her over the next few days. The pair stood shoulder to shoulder watching the big grey mare walk tentatively away.
Then, to his horror, Jeremy heard himself asking Alice if she knew what the date was. She gave him a wary sidelong look and didn’t reply. Yes, she had noted the date, he saw. There was no backing out now.
‘Are you busy tonight, Ali?’
‘Jeremy, I—’
‘Look, if another fella’s taking you out I’ll just—’
‘No. No one is taking me out. But Jeremy—’
‘Just a quiet night somewhere. By the river? Jeez, Alice, what’s the big deal?’ Jeremy looked at her imploringly.
She looked down at her muddy boots.
‘Don’t you trust me? I know I’m not Mr Perfect, but I’m not gonna force myself on you.’
Alice looked back up at him. ‘I do appreciate you asking me, Jeremy. But I know that neither of us would enjoy it. And of course I trust you! I spend half my life alone with you.’
Jeremy felt hot indignation flare inside him. Why had he given her the opportunity to humiliate him again? This Valentine’s Day refusal was becoming a ritual. He wasn’t going to beg this time, at least. ‘Righto then. Have a nice night. All alone. Hey, Ali, you should think about joining a convent. You’d make a great nun. Your skin would stay nice and pale under an old habit.’
‘Thank you.’ She was infuriatingly cheerful. ‘Some of the most amazing people who have ever lived were nuns. Ever heard of Mother Teresa? Saint Mary MacKillop?’
‘Reckon they still wanted someone to love ’em, but. Bet they were lonely in bed at night. Withered up. Craving love.’ Jeremy looked at Alice, whose features were unreadable. How could she be so cold?
She turned and started to walk away, but he caught her hand.
‘Please, Ali?’ Yep, now he was begging. What in hell was he thinking?
‘I’m sorry, Jeremy.’
Her expression was gentle. But now Jeremy was fuming. He dropped her hand. ‘I reckon you got tickets on yourself, Alice. You’re just a bloody snob. I dunno why I waste my time with you.’
Last year he’d made no impact. This time he could see he’d upset her, hopefully as much as she’d upset him. She was looking up at him, large dark eyes full of bewildered hurt.
‘I never asked for your attention, Jeremy. Do you think I don’t know that getting me to go out with you is just some sort of challenge for you?’ Alice spun around and walked away, but not before Jeremy had seen tears spring up in her eyes. Before he could prevent it, he experienced a sharp stab of regret over his cruel words. He tried not to wish them unsaid: she’d deserved it, he told himself. Was Alice anything more than just a challenge to him?
He stormed over to his cottage to change, and resolved to head off now before his anger could cool. All the way to town in his ute, Jeremy filled his mind with noisy thoughts and blasted his eardrums with AC/DC. He wouldn’t think about Alice. Impossible Alice.
That night he had a blast. He did everything that usually spelled a good time. And as always, he was the life of the party. But while his body drank and laughed, his mind drifted back to stately old Redstone and Alice. He found himself remembering her accusation and wondered if it was true. Jeremy didn’t leave the pub with any of the girls that asked him to. Instead he drove home alone in the early hours of the morning.
Just after dawn, he came and found Alice at the yards where she was working with Benji’s colt. He climbed through the rails and stood diffidently in front of her. She looked up at him, seeming surprised to see him up and about so early. As soon as he was sure he had her full attention, he started to speak.
‘Ali, I wanted to say I’m real sorry for upsetting you yesterday. And mostly for those crook things I said.’
Alice examined him with her most probing gaze. Then her expression softened and her eyes spoke compassion. Jeremy felt like a naughty child. In his hung-over state it was maddening.
‘Forget it, Jeremy. I wasn’t upset for long.’ Alice smiled encouragingly.
Jeremy looked at her serene countenance and saw that what she said was true. ‘Why not?’ All his guilt had evaporated and he spoke testily. ‘Why didn’t I upset ya? Am I so unimportant? Like some sort of annoying little kid? I s’pose you couldn’t care less what I think.’
‘That’s not it at all! I just knew you didn’t mean those things you said about me. I know why you said them. I knew that I hadn’t done anything wrong, so why be upset? I think a whole lot of you.’
He’d been expecting some kind of sulky, begrudging acceptance of his apology and had been prepared for a few weeks of making amends for the terrible offence he’d caused her. And here she was, feeling sorry for him. Worst of all, he’d needlessly caned himself with guilt for the last twelve hours. Even the rum had failed to anaesthetise the rotten feeling.
Alice reached out and touched his arm. He looked down into her earnest face and reconsidered what she’d just said. She thought ‘a whole lot of him’.
‘I hate arguing with you, Jeremy. Let’s be friends again now that Valentine’s Day is over for another year.’
‘Righto then, Miss Wilson.’ He gave her a quick, hard hug and she sighed in his arms, obviously relieved. He vowed to himself that he would never speak to her rudely like that again.