The dust that had settled over the land like a grey-brown blanket in the dust storm before Sam’s passing remained largely undisturbed for many weeks. The erratic breezes that came during September weren’t enough to dislodge the dull gritty layer that had cemented itself to the light dew on the leaves and grass of Redstone.
The last decent rain had been in early April, but the grass had hung on well, thanks to the good moisture that had remained in the ground from summer’s drenching. But now, at last, the pasture began to look spent and parched and the dust coating did nothing to improve the effect. The condition of the cows was also beginning to slip, and Alice and Jeremy had resurrected the molasses truck.
Since her grandfather’s death, Alice had thrown herself into her work with unrelenting determination. It seemed to Jeremy that she was continually moving, always on her way to the next job or preoccupied. When she sat, it was only to analyse lists of important figures. Her smoko breaks were more often than not held in front of the computer. This was hard on Jeremy, who was an essentially social being. He instinctively understood that she’d withdrawn into an inner world of grief and he tried repeatedly to draw her into conversation. But she continued to shut him out.
In an attempt to find some relief from the sombre atmosphere at Redstone, he started making more regular weekend trips to town again. However, he spent most of the time away thinking of Alice, all alone back at the station. He tried talking horses and dogs with her, and on one occasion he desperately resorted to Jane Austen. But even this topic failed to raise the slightest hint of a spark in Alice’s solemn dark eyes. Next Jeremy turned to his old standby of taunting and teasing, but Alice reacted only with a patient tolerance that made him feel like a naughty schoolboy.
Just when Jeremy thought things couldn’t get any grimmer, Alice got a call from the bank. The Redstone loan had come up for review. The new manager, Carl Trent, said he needed to arrange a meeting with her to discuss the future of the property. He confirmed with Alice that she’d taken up the station’s management since her grandfather’s death, and then checked her age and years of experience. After indicating that the bank had some new concerns about the size of the debt, he fixed a date for a visit the following week.
Alice’s scones weren’t nearly as good as her grandmother’s and she’d made them at dawn, so they were quite heavy and cold by the time Carl Trent arrived. He was younger and more serious than his predecessor, Phillip Kift, and to Alice’s disappointment he insisted on meeting with her in private; despite Jeremy’s tendency to be inappropriate, Alice would have drawn strength from his presence.
The anxiety she’d been suffering over the prospect of the visit had taken its toll, she looked tired and gaunt and she was unable to put on a show of confidence. Carl seemed to sense her uncertainty, and commented, not unkindly, on how alone she was in the world. Looking at the figures, he pointed out the way they’d been stretched by Kift in order to maintain the loan. Even with Alice’s grandparents at the helm, Redstone had barely been able to meet the repayments. He went on to suggest that, considering the circumstances, the only realistic course of action for Alice was to put the property on the market. The bright side, or so he said, was that even after the debt was cleared she’d walk away from the place a very wealthy young woman.
Alice quietly informed him that she had no intention of selling and assured him she’d continue to meet the repayments and oversee the improvements. ‘Mr Kift was confident that with all the changes we are making here, Redstone will become profitable again in the future,’ she explained. ‘The innovations he approved were mostly mine. They are costing money now, but it won’t be long before they start to pay off.’
‘Perhaps,’ Trent said doubtfully. ‘But it may reach the point where the decision is taken out of your hands, Alice. I’m certain that in a short time you’ll come around to my way of thinking. A station of this size is an enormous concern for someone like you to handle alone.’ He drained his cup before adding, ‘It’s not what I’d call feasible.’
Then, assuring her that he’d be in touch again soon, the bank manager departed. He had barely touched his scone.
Alice found that she couldn’t talk to Jeremy about the new problem with the bank. His ranting and raving over the loan would only make the threat seem more real. Instead she kept it to herself and became even more withdrawn and uncommunicative. She was aware that he was worried about her and becoming daily more frustrated by her silence. She also knew how dependent on his company she’d become, but somehow she couldn’t find the words or opportunity to tell him.
One day in early November, the pair were driving out to Hazelbrae paddock to ‘pull’ a windmill that had been failing to pump properly for some months. They took a detour on the way to check a troublesome new solar bore in Summerlea. In June this large paddock had been divided into three smaller paddocks. Unfortunately, the only watering point in Upper Summerlea was proving to be less than reliable.
With the bore in sight, Alice took a sip from her water bottle, only to discover that Jeremy had stealthily filled it with gin that morning. He looked sideways at her as he drove, obviously hoping for a reaction, but after a small splutter she merely emptied it out the window without saying a word. Jeremy turned away and glared at the track ahead.
Shortly afterwards they arrived at the trough. The tank’s overflow pipe was dripping, which meant the bore was currently working well. There was no need to stop, but Jeremy had clearly lost his temper. He slammed on the brakes, got out and walked around to Alice’s door. After wrenching it open, he grabbed her arms and pulled her out of the vehicle. Looking up in bewildered surprise she met his stormy frown. She quickly looked away, twisting her wrists free of his grip. But Jeremy grabbed her again, this time by the shoulders, and shook her until she looked him in the eye.
‘Bloody hell, Alice!’ he exploded. ‘Even if you blubbered and whined every day for months it couldn’t be as bad as this silent caper.’
Alice winced a little at the frustration in his tone and tried to pull away again, but his grip was too firm.
‘Look at me, Ali. You can’t keep up this sulky act forever. What’s the matter with you anyway?’
Alice became haughty. ‘Let go of me.’
‘Haven’t seen you shed a single tear yet. Why can’t you just have a damn good bawl like a normal girl?’
‘You’re hurting my shoulders.’ Alice’s tone was icy now.
Jeremy released her immediately, then, grabbing a tin bucket from the ute, he filled it with sun-warmed trough water. Before she realised what he was intending he’d doused Alice with a heavy cascade. She stood bedraggled and gasping, strings of green algae draped across her head and shoulders and water dripping from the ends of the little curls on either side of her forehead. Jeremy looked at her expectantly, but still she said nothing.
He growled. ‘I can’t work you out at all. Never met another girl as cold as you are. Must have a hide like a bloody rhinoceros. Have you even cried at all for your old folks yet?’
Alice was angry now. She heard herself shouting, ‘I don’t see how it’s any of your business the manner in which I choose to grieve!’
‘Oh yeah, righto,’ Jeremy shouted back. ‘I’m just the bloody lackey. The paid hand.’ He spun around, flinging the bucket back into the ute in disgust. It made a satisfying clang. He began to pace back and forth. ‘Don’t think of me as a mate or anything, will ya? And whatever you do, don’t let on to me about how you’re feeling. I’ll just keep putting up with this bloody grim treatment then, will I? Maybe I should turn all quiet too.’ He halted and glared at Alice, waiting for a response, but she looked away.
He began to stride towards her again, his features taut with rage, but Alice ran at him and pushed him in the chest with both hands. ‘You don’t understand any of this!’ she screamed into his surprised face. Then her body crumpled and she squatted down, hugging her legs and burying her face in her knees. She began to sob uncontrollably. The dogs, who had scarpered when Jeremy threw the bucket, gathered around her in concern.
Jeremy kneeled down beside her and put his hand on her shoulder; however, she soon calmed herself, wiped her face and stood up.
‘Oh, Jeremy, I’m so sorry.’
‘C’mon, Ali, you were getting angry there a second ago. Having a good old yell. That was a big improvement.’ Jeremy’s tone was pleading. ‘Don’t go all quiet on me again.’ He poked her shoulder hopefully.
She sighed and reached for the ute door handle. ‘Oh no ya don’t, Ali Baba! Not so fast!’ Jeremy squeezed himself between Alice and the ute. ‘How do you know I wouldn’t understand? I might be a bit of a dull sod, but I have had a bit of rough luck myself on and off over the years. Plus I’m stronger than you and I’m not letting you back in there till you spill the beans.’
‘Jeremy, I wish I could explain myself.’ Alice looked into Jeremy’s bright blue eyes, willing him to understand.
‘I reckon you just need to slow down a bit, Alice. Let up on yourself, learn to relax. You shouldn’t have tipped out that gin. It would’ve done you the world of good.’
For the first time in weeks, Alice felt comforted. Jeremy’s face was so full of compassion. The tears spilled over again and began to course down her cheeks.
‘Will you let me give ya a bit of a cuddle? Just a matey one, you know the kind.’ When she didn’t demur he put his arms around her dripping, forlorn little form and held on firmly. Alice felt the tight ball in her stomach begin to loosen.
‘Heck, I had a soft spot for the old digger too,’ Jeremy said quietly. ‘But life goes on. It’s got to, otherwise we’d all better shut up shop here and now.’
Alice cried for several minutes more, her sobs muffled by Jeremy’s stained work shirt. At last she was still. She looked up and smiled at him, hoping that the relief she felt was showing on her face. He grinned back.
‘That’s more like it. But does that mean I have to let you go now? Bugger.’ He gave her a last squeeze before releasing her.
‘Thank you, Jeremy,’ she said, wiping away the last of her tears. ‘I’m so sorry for being difficult. I wouldn’t blame you if you packed up and left me at Redstone by myself.’
‘Yeah, well, no need to harp on about it. Good thing I’m big and tough. If that’s all the hugging I’m getting for today, we’d better go and start on this mill.’
During the days that followed, Alice made an effort to be brighter, more positive and talkative. But thoughts of the bank plagued her night and day. She began to feel swamped by all the tasks that needed to be done, and the idea of losing Redstone was becoming more real by the day.
Then comfort arrived from a most unexpected source. Lara began to telephone, not regularly, but often enough to let Alice know she wasn’t forgotten. One of these phone calls followed hot on the heels of a conversation with Carl Trent, who’d indicated that he intended to visit Redstone again in the next week. To her own surprise, Alice found herself confiding in Lara, who listened quietly.
A few days later, Carl Trent called back. But rather than arranging a meeting, he told her that the bank was prepared to renew the loan. Alice was taken by complete surprise, no less so when he explained that the loan had been re-evaluated because she now had the backing of the Harradines.
In amazement, Alice rang Lara immediately. She discovered that her mother, furious about the bank’s treatment of Alice, had told Conrad, who was even more indignant that someone could have so little faith in his stepdaughter’s capability merely because of her age. He’d wasted no time in contacting Carl Trent and severely dressing him down. He accused the bank manager of discrimination and insisted that he himself had so much faith in Alice’s ability to run Redstone that he wouldn’t hesitate for one moment to go guarantor for the loan. (This measure of support had come as a surprise even to Lara.) The bank had taken up the offer, and Conrad and Lara were now officially behind Redstone.
Alice was overjoyed: Redstone was safe for the moment, but the act of love and support from her mother and Conrad was what moved her most. She told Jeremy the whole story when he came in for smoko.
‘Holy hell!’ He shook his head in disbelief. ‘You’re a good one for keeping a fella in the dark. But Lara – Jeez! And old Con . . . Who’d have thought it? You could knock me down with a feather.’
‘You just never know what’s under a hat.’ Alice laughed, and had a sudden notion that her grandparents were sharing her joy.
After that, Alice began to sleep soundly again at night and her appetite returned. In the first week of December the rain arrived and the land was renewed. The regeneration of the landscape boosted Alice’s own healing, and as Christmas approached, she found that she was able to savour once more some of the simple joys of life.
Midway through December, she made a suggestion to Jeremy at dinner. ‘Now that it’s rained, there’s no need for you to be here over Christmas, Jeremy. You missed out on going home last year because of the dry. You deserve to take a break and spend some time with your family.’
‘Thanks, Ali. I haven’t been home for Christmas in years.’
‘Really?’
‘Must be nearly ten years since I first left home, to work at Sandy Hills. I’d dropped out of school and came home, see, but found out pretty quick that I wasn’t welcome there.’
‘And you haven’t been home for Christmas in all that time?’ she asked, struggling to take it in.
‘I think there was one year I went back. But there weren’t too many laughs that day, so after that I opted for the pub again. Mum was at me about the same thing a few days ago – you remember she rang. But I don’t wanna leave you here by yourself. How about coming with me?’
‘Does that mean you’ll introduce me properly to all your lovely brothers?’ Alice quickly stopped laughing when she saw the look of distaste on Jeremy’s face. Perhaps he’d misunderstood her. Was he worried about his ruthless brothers assuming they were a couple? She decided to let him off the hook. ‘You’re not obliged to look after me, Jeremy. I’ll be fine here, honestly. It’ll be very peaceful.’
‘You don’t wanna come, then?’ Jeremy asked, a little aggressively.
‘Oh . . . it’s just that you seemed a bit . . . reluctant. If I came, I suppose you could always explain to them that we’re not, you know, a couple. That way we can make sure none of your brothers get the wrong idea.’
She’d been trying to reassure him but he looked crestfallen.
‘Yeah, be a bloody disaster if anyone thought we were together,’ he snapped. Alice looked at him in dismay, unsure what she’d said to upset him.
‘Well, I already told Mum you’re coming,’ he went on, huffily. ‘Like a duffer I assumed you’d want to. I guess I’ll just have to tell her you’d rather be here alone for Christmas than with my family.’
Alice bit her lip. ‘Oh Jeremy, of course I’ll come if you’d really like me to.’
‘Only come if you want to. Let me know what you decide.’ He finished his last few mouthfuls in silence, then disappeared sulkily out the door. Baffled, Alice watched him stride across the yard to his cottage.