Alice walked through the half-open door into one of the old timber bedrooms of the O’Donnell homestead. The French doors at the other end of the room were flung wide open, and a light breeze was playing with the curtains and an old cobwebby set of wind chimes outside on the veranda. Jeremy was stretched out on the bed, asleep on top of the covers, the bottom of his bare feet facing her.
She looked at his face. It was grey and drawn. There was no sign of the mirth that usually hung about the lines of his eyes and mouth. Instead, anxiety had carved new grooves in his forehead and his cheeks were hollow. Her first sensation was overwhelming guilt that he’d suffered so much and she hadn’t been there for him. But then, finding herself near him again after all this time, she felt an undeniable sense of rightness. He’d clearly been through the mill, but every detail of him was so familiar, so dear to her. How had she ever imagined that she could do without him?
She made no sound as she stood there, but Jeremy must have sensed her presence, as he stirred and opened his eyes. As he focused and realisation dawned, his face was transfigured. It reminded Alice of sunlight breaking through clouds onto a sombre colourless landscape, transforming it. They smiled at each other for a minute or so in silence. She could feel the tears on her cheeks but couldn’t remember shedding them.
Jeremy spoke first. ‘That angel’s here again, Lily. She’s just walked into my room.’ He brushed away tears of his own and reached out for her like a child wanting to be picked up. Alice went to him and, sitting herself on the bed beside him, held him for a long time. She tried not to tremble, but she was fighting to contain her happiness. She felt as though she’d just awoken from a long and dreary dream, the confusion was over and she was safe at last.
‘Are you going to be better soon, Jeremy?’ she said, her arms still around him. ‘I can see you’ve been terribly sick.’
‘That pancreatitis wasn’t much of a laugh. I really thought I was buggered for a while there.’ Jeremy pulled her a little closer. ‘Thought I was having a heart attack or some bloody thing. Could’ve died too, they reckoned. They said alcoholics get it. Alcoholics, Ali!’ Jeremy drew back and looked earnestly into her face. ‘Put the wind up me that did. I told ’em I was no damn soak. But then they told me I’d have to give it away for life and I couldn’t face it. Life without bloody booze.’ He sank back into Alice’s arms and stifled a deep sob. His voice cracked as he forced himself to go on. ‘Even a week without a drink seemed unthinkable. Then I knew I was in strife. A first-class bloody wino.’
Jeremy buried his face in Alice’s shirt. She stroked the back of his head gently. He lifted his face towards her again. ‘Do you understand what I’m telling you, Alice? That’s how bad I’d become out there in that stinking black hole. Couldn’t even sleep unless I was half cut.’ Tears were coursing down his face now. Tears of shame, sorrow, joy and relief – relief that he’d been given a second chance.
‘Come back to Redstone, Jeremy.’ It was a command.
‘What for? So I can be head stockman for you and Wingnut? Sorry, Ali, no go.’
‘No, because I love you and don’t want to be at Redstone without you any longer.’
Jeremy jerked free to sit up and examine her face, his blue eyes wide with astonishment and his eyelashes damp from tears. ‘You fair dinkum? You’re asking me to tie the knot?’
Alice felt a flicker of surprise, but she replied without hesitation, ‘If you’re willing.’
‘Willing? You’re bloody barking mad. Let’s quit all this small talk and get onto a serious matter. You’re being too light-hearted. Tell me about the weather or something, I haven’t seen you for a lifetime.’
‘Does that mean yes?’
‘Willing? I’ve been willing ever since the night we caught poddy-dodging Fuzz and I tried to wipe the dribble off your cheek.’
Alice laughed and shook her head. How she’d missed him. There would never be anyone else like him.
‘Heck, speaking of that . . .’ Jeremy quickly ran his fingers around his mouth. ‘Phew. Can’t accept a proposal of marriage with slobber on me gob.’
At this point Sue O’Donnell knocked quietly on the door frame and after a moment poked her head around the door. At the sight of the pair on the bed the worried tension evaporated from her face and it was flooded with relief. She quickly withdrew and hurried away.
Jeremy grabbed both of Alice’s hands and looked hard into her face. ‘Are you really fair dinkum, mate? Have you thought this through properly?’
‘I really haven’t thought about much else since you left.’ Alice’s face glowed as she smiled at him. Joy was flowing into all the corners of her small form. Jeremy swung his legs to the floor; wrapping his arms around her, he stood up, pulling her to her feet. He looked down into her face in wonderment. She looked into his blue, blue eyes and knew that she’d truly loved him for a very long time. Then he overwhelmed her by the passion of his kiss and the power of his arms holding her. She could feel his bones through his shirt and was overcome with sympathy and remorse. Reaching up, she put her arms around his neck, and suddenly, she was kissing him back.
With that one kiss, Alice and Jeremy made up for all the kisses they had never shared.
Then Jeremy buried his face in her hair and sagged a little in her arms, his legs shaking. She helped him back onto the bed and held his hands again. His face was serious while he rested for a moment. Then the grin returned.
‘Bloody women these days, the cheek of them. Can’t even wait for a fella to propose. Have to jump in first and catch him off his guard.’
Alice smiled, and he went on, ‘Was gonna come out to Redstone when I was a bit more presentable. But then I got back here yesterday and heard that it was all on with you and Wingnut, so I gave that idea away. I thought to myself, who’s she gonna choose, a cashed-up church boy, or a drunken clown? My chances weren’t looking too flash. Hell, I reckoned you’d probably even gone out with him on Valentine’s Day.’
Alice gave a teary laugh, shaking her head.
‘I felt bloody sorry for myself then, I tell ya. I even wished the pancreatitis had taken me out. But after a bit, I decided, what the hell, I had nothing to lose – I’d try my luck, Wingnut or no Wingnut. Was even prepared to lie in the dirt at your feet and grovel.’
‘Jeremy, stop!’ Alice interrupted. ‘What must you think of me? I can’t believe I made you feel like that about yourself.’ She hung her head.
‘Keep your shirt on! Was the best thing that ever happened to me, meeting a girl with the guts to boot me up the ar . . . backside. I’ll make it worth your while, Ali.’
Alice looked at Jeremy’s animated face. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes were a little too starry. She said firmly, ‘I’m going to go now so you can calm down and get some rest.’
‘Calm down!’ he exclaimed, clinging to her arm. ‘A snowflake has a better chance in hell! Where are you going, to break the news to Wingnut? Poor bugger – just think, I wanted to kill him a couple of days ago. Twist his top off. And now he’s out on his ear.’
‘Jeremy! You need to be quiet and rest now.’
‘No, seriously, makes me feel like a right bastard when I think of the poor fella.’ Jeremy was still gripping Alice’s hand.
She sat back down. ‘Walter will get over it.’
‘Jeez, Ali, that’s bloody heartless, that is.’
‘No, you misunderstand me. He doesn’t love me. He doesn’t even really know me. I just fitted the description of what he’s looking for. Almost. If he wasn’t so sure of himself, he’d have worked out long ago that I was in love with someone else.’
Jeremy went to speak again but she silenced him with a finger on his lips. ‘I’ll come and sit with you tomorrow. I’ll bring Henry and Banjo and even Jane if you want her.’
‘It’s you I want, not Jane blooming Austen.’
Alice gently unhooked Jeremy’s fingers and stood up.
‘Alice . . .’ His face was agitated again and his eyes were pleading. She had never seen him look so vulnerable. ‘Now that I’ve seen ya, I’m scared to let you go . . . in case you up and disappear on me again. Once you’re gone I’ll think I dreamed the whole bloody thing.’
Alice bent over and kissed him again. She put her hands on his cheeks and he became calmer. ‘It’s no dream, Jeremy. I’ll be back first thing. I promise.’
He smiled and settled back on his pillow. ‘Righto, beautiful. I’ll be waiting.’
Alice’s heart was singing as she turned and walked from the room.