Luken said that the fourth work shift had been worse than the third. The mud from Lila had helped though, so had the bandages I’d wrapped around his torso. I tried to tell all that to Romi as we lay on our mat at sleep time. There was something different about her. I’d felt it since she came out of the tunnel. A different smell too, like her, but riper. “You’re not even listening to me,” I said to her.
“I am,” she sighed.
I knew Romi’s face and her smell and how her skin felt better than I knew my own. Since we were younguns, Romi and I fell asleep with our noses pressed together, breathing each other’s air. Knowing her as well as I did, I knew she was hiding something. “What’s wrong?” I asked.
Her voice came, thin as a ripple. “I started my bleeds.”
I sat up and rolled her over, so I was staring at her face. In the dark, all I could see were her eyes glistening. “When?”
“We were in the tunnels. My stomach started to ache, like it was being squeezed. I checked and then I knew why.”
I lay back down and stared up into the dark. My chest got heavy, like someone was sitting on it.
“What’s it like?” I whispered.
“Achy. Lila said the bleeds will get heavier next time.” It wasn’t the bleeding I was worried about. Now that they’d started, it meant Romi could be a mother. Krux could take her away. For the first time in our lives, we’d be apart. What if my bleeds never came? I reached out for Romi’s hand and laced my fingers through hers, like my grip could keep her close.
“I’m scared, Ama.”
I was too, but I didn’t want Romi to know that. “The tunnel is almost finished. Soon as it is, we’re leaving,” I promised.
“What if it’s too late?” she asked. “What if I’m already a mother?” None of us, not even Lila, knew where the mothers went. Us older Unders grilled the younguns trying to find out what they remembered about their time with them, but we never got much. The only one who knew where the mothers were was Krux.
“If Krux takes me, will you come find me?” Romi asked.
I hated hearing her talk like that. “He’s not going to—”
“Ama,” she said, as if I were a youngun, “we both know it’s gonna happen, sooner or later.”
I looked down at my chest. Flat. Hips still too narrow. Romi’s curves had started. Now that she had her bleeds, it was only a matter of time until Krux noticed. “I wish my bleeds would start. Then we’d be together.”
“Don’t say that. You have to stay. How are we gonna escape if you’re a mother?”
I took a deep breath, trying to keep my thoughts straight. I wished Jacob were here to make sense of things for me.
I stood up.
“Where are you going?”
“To dig,” I whispered.
“Without Jacob?” She couldn’t see me nod in the dark.
I bent down close to her. She opened her mouth to say something else, but I put my lips on hers and pressed them hard. We’d been together our whole lives, but the way I kissed her this time was different. I didn’t want to stop. The warmth of her kissing me back went right down into my belly. Finally, I pulled away.
Neither of us said anything. We didn’t need to. That was how it was with me and Romi. I kept that warmth from her mouth as I tiptoed along the cave wall towards the pool. My feet knew the way on their own. Almost every night for six years, I’d been meeting Jacob there; the two of us digging and waiting for the right moment to share our plan with the rest of the Unders.