Kiriana
My body shook. I was wearing the light linen gown Zarmina had given me. All the bowing and scraping I’d have to do made me nauseous. I bit the bullet and opened the door to the library where Nye was giving Gabriel his report of the week’s activities.
Gabriel glared, and I remembered I was supposed to knock. Shit. I closed the door and knocked three times.
“It’s a little late to stand on ceremony,” boomed a tenor voice muffled by the oak door.
“I’m sorry I was so rude…My Lord. I am asking for an audience with you.”
“Enter.”
Gabriel was about six feet tall. He had a light brown beard and hair that came to his shoulders and was parted in the middle. He wore a sage green linen tunic with black linen pants, and black sandals with thin straps.
He stood behind Nye, who was sitting at the desk. Nye stood when I entered and smiled.
“Speak.”
“Are you the angel Gabriel?”
It was a stupid thing to ask, but he appeared so laid back I couldn’t help myself.
“I’m sorry, were you expecting something else?” Gabriel asked as he cocked his left eyebrow. “Maybe this is more to your liking.”
Wings that had to have a wingspan of twelve feet burst from his back. The feathers were silver with gold tips.
“Holy crap,” I said under my breath.
For the first time in my life I knew what it was to quake in fear. Pressure built in my head and I didn’t know how much more I could take. But I didn’t dare remove my eyes from Gabriel’s.
“Gabriel,” Nye spat, causing Gabriel’s cold, hard stare to divert for a moment.
His wings retracted. My goose-pimpled skin tingled as it relaxed.
“My Lord.”
God, how I hated saying that. It was only going to get worse. With Kiyoshi and Zarmina, I had repeated the words a thousand times. Whoever the first jackass was that got sealed was on my shit list now. I wasn’t surprised the language was antiquated, but why’d it have to be so frickin’ fruity?
“Verily, My Lord…I…beseech…your…approval…” Damn it, I thought. “Your…blessing of my love.”
“Okay, you can do this”, the whispers assured. Nye was trying to mouth the words for me. “Just say it, dumbass.” Why was I shaking so bad?
“For my heart belongs…fuck it.”
Nye’s jaw dropped, but I couldn’t do it. This wasn’t me. I wasn’t afraid of being with Nye, I was afraid of asking it wrong and being denied. But I needed to ask my way.
“I am here to ask to be sealed to Nye, the man I love.”
Nye slumped in defeat. The air became cold as December. Biting my lip and rocking on the balls of my feet, I kept my eyes on Gabriel. Looking at Nye would’ve just upset me more.
“Do you know the reality of this request?”
Nye’s head shot up at Gabriel’s response. I was a little shaken too. The fear that ran through this house of warriors around the name Gabriel seemed unnatural to me.
“Yes. But I ask that part of this reality be adjusted. For the betterment of the whole.”
Nye’s body stiffened. I knew at this point in the ceremony Nye was not allowed to talk. If anything, the Frozen were afraid of Gabriel. Being ignorant of his rage was probably a good thing.
“Adjusted?”
“To allow the others who wish to fight to be allowed to.”
Nye was pleading with me without words. His eyes were begging me to stop.
“I also have reviewed with the other others. There are some patterns that could make it possible for all the Hell’s Mouths to be closed. Permanently.”
I had to keep myself focused on Gabriel. If I looked at Nye, I’d lose my nerve. Nye was pacing behind the desk. His fists were clenched, until he sat down in the chair, defeated.
Gabriel’s steel gray eyes were smiling at me even though his face wasn’t.
“What’s this theory?”
My hands started to shake, so I held them together. How could I think with a real live angel staring me in the eye? “He’s just like anyone else.” I call bullshit on that one. “Breathe in deep, prepare yourself, Kiriana. Feel Nye’s arms around you. Do you ever want to lose that feeling?” The whispers helped me focus enough and I laid out my plan.
“The Frozen who have others have a lower mortality rate. So do their partners. By pairing a single Frozen with a sealed one, you could increase their life expectancy. The longer they are alive, the more skilled they are. You are throwing untrained, unmotivated fighters at the wolves. The newly Frozen need training. They need a coach. They need a reason bigger than Hell to fight. That is the reason those with others fight so well.”
“Are you offering your services?”
“For this compound? Yes,” I said, swallowing. “I have no problem with that.”
Gabriel’s jaw jutted to the side and I could see him considering my offer.
“We also need to increase the numbers before the closing,” I blurted. “We should have at least twelve to sixteen fighters in the house at all times. We need to eat meals together. Get to know each other. We need to divide the fighters up into day and night shifts, so they get enough sleep. You have people who were disillusioned with the world. Depressed. They felt they had no reason to live and you are separating them, making them feel more alone. We need to form a team. A group. A gang. Whatever you want to call it.”
Coaching theories were running through my head at a record pace. I didn’t even remember what I had said or promised. I just knew I needed to promise anything to be with Nye.
“So how would this permanently seal a Hell’s Mouth?”
“Kiyoshi has tracked the mouths that have sealed poorly. He has a theory, the riots and massacres were covers. What makes more sense than distracting the Frozen from seeing the trackers escaping the area to set up the next Hell’s Mouth? According to Kiyoshi, during the run in Rosewood, Sander saw the trackers standing by the hole and then reentered Hell at the end of the siege. If the trackers go back to Hell, how can they reopen the next one?”
“Maybe they come from below and not above.”
“If I’m wrong, than ours will be the only one we try. It’s the next one to close, isn’t it?”
“Yes. How many do you want here?”
“Well, with your permission, we should have six others here. Of which only five wish to fight. So we would need at least one more set if not three. And we would need six not sealed.”
“Why so many? This house will be overrun.”
“Doesn’t this house adjust to what is needed?”
“Well, yes.”
“Then that is the important part. You have run this for millennia your way. All I’m asking is for a few months or years, mine.”
Gabriel leaned on the desk. His striking features were accentuated when he turned and I saw his profile. He looked at Nye, who was now face down on the desk.
“The one who doesn’t want to fight, what of them?”
“She is a genius. She has created weapons that would increase our ability to slay without injury to us exponentially. I feel she would be great for onsite recon. Her computer skills are phenomenal and she can use her time to create weapons to fight more efficiently.”
“Now you want new weapons?”
“Yes.”
“Demanding, aren’t you?”
“Only for the betterment of the whole.”
A clicking sound was coming from Gabriel. I assume it was his tongue from the way his face was drawn out.
“Nye, please gather the household.”
Nye’s head shot up. He looked confused.
“Did I stutter?”
“No, sir.”
Nye shot across the room.
“Would you like Kiri to come with me?”
“No. We have more to discuss. Sit, Kiriana. Actually, Nye, before you leave, I need to honor her first request. To become your other. Kiriana, can you think of a reason why I should not grant this request?”
My heart was pounding. Gabriel knew something. Something bad. What could I have done that’d make me unworthy? Well, there’s a lot I guess.
“You have begged absolution for your sexual transgressions, if that’s what you are thinking of.”
“Then what is the problem?”
“If I allow you, a murderer, to follow this path, then what else shall I allow to pass through those doors?”
“What is he talking about, Kiri?” Nye asked, coming toward me. “Your mother? I thought you said she killed herself.”
“It’s what she wanted,” I said, pleading with Gabriel. “It was her choice. I didn’t put the drugs in her system. She did.”
“But you helped.”
“She was dying inside. She lost all her abilities.”
“You’re right, she did. Including her ability to end her life.”
“I didn’t murder her,” I snapped, tears streaming down my face. “I loved her. She begged me. I was all she had left in the world.”
“Have you ever sought forgiveness for your sin? Or do you not see what you have done as a sin?”
“Please don’t.”
My gut twisted at the thought of leaving Nye. I dropped to my knees before Gabriel and pleaded with him.
“Please. He’s everything to me. Everything. I was only doing what she wanted.”
“Was…it…a…sin?”
He was goading me. Well, I could swallow my pride.
“Yes.”
“That didn’t sound convincing,” he sneered.
“I should have talked her out of it. I should have let her live in pain and let God take his time punishing her for doing nothing wrong in life.”
A laugh came from deep inside Gabriel. “You and I shall have much fun. You’re unrepentant and obstinate. Ideal for Nye.”
“Is that a yes?”
“If he still wants you.”
I looked at Nye.
“I didn’t lie. I crushed the pills into water for her. She knew what she was doing. I swear.”
“Is there anything else?”
I stayed on my knees, but sat back on my feet.
“There is nothing I have done. But the reason I came to this town was to be closer to my father. I haven’t visited him yet.”
“Where is he?”
“In the prison.”
“What did he do?”
Nye looked me in the eye.
“Rape. A lot of rape. Drugs.”
“He’s not repentant either,” Gabriel butted in.
“Shut up,” I snipped.
“You started out so nice. With the ‘My Lords’ and the gracious talk. Now that I’ve exposed you, you are rude. Nye, are you sure you would want such a vulgar, lying, murdering whore for your other?”
Nye leapt across the room and pinned Gabriel to the floor. I jumped up to pull Nye back, but he was like steel, unmovable.
“You will apologize to her. On your goddamn knees. I’ll put myself through anything, but she will not bow to you ever again. Do you hear me?”
Unfazed by Nye’s request, Gabriel looked at me.
“Again, I say that we shall have great fun together, Kiriana. Nye, you will remove yourself from this room.”
“Apologize. Now!”
“Kiriana, I was wrong to call you a vulgar whore. In truth, you are harder on yourself than you should be. Your number in your mind is larger than in reality. You are more upset about the result than the actions. Nye, again I must ask you to leave or, if nothing else, to get off me.”
Nye rose and took me in his arms. Kissing me passionately, he smiled.
“Never question my love for you, but I can’t have you fighting.”
He released me and went to gather the others.
“What else do you think should change?”
“Are you seriously asking me?”
“I don’t ask a question without a reason.”
“I think if we have therapy groups, we could make the Frozen grow into themselves. They are depressed when they enter. What do you do to change that?”
“I give them a cooling-off period. You’d be surprised how much a week of reflection can help them heal.”
“It’s not enough. They are separated from society. They need an outlet.”
“They separate by choice, not declaration.”
“Whatever the reason, they need to feel part of something. They chose to end their lives because they were frightened and alone. They need to feel needed. Wanted. A part of something that is bigger than themselves.”
“You will propose this to the others. I will then render a verdict,” Gabriel said as he drank from a glass that’d been sitting on the desk. “You know, I’ve been waiting for you.”
“Me?”
“Not you in particular, but someone to question and change. We were strict in the beginning, but I’ve known for years we needed a shift.”
“Then why didn’t you shift it yourself?”
“I have a dictate. You do not. I’m glad you came along. I just hope you’re right.”
“Why do you show the cruel you?”
“Survival. I’ll still fight with you at every turn.”
“For appearances?”
“What do you say down here? I plead the fife.”
“The fifth.”
“Ah yes. The fifth.”
* * * *
Nye
Kiri presented her plan to all of us. Just the thought of her fighting was too much for me. I snapped.
“I’m not having my other out fighting. Especially not with me as her partner. It would be suicide. She’d be killed the first night she crossed a demon. Or I’d be killed protecting her.”
“I think I handled the tracker pretty well without any training.”
“That was a fluke. You don’t know how hard it can be.”
I placed my hands on her shoulders, then let them glide down her arms.
“Kiri, the thought of one of them hurting you is too much for me. You’d only be a distraction. Not an asset.”
“Really,” Kiri growled, snatching my gun before I knew what’d happened. She fired off rounds as if my gun was an automatic. My ears rang from the concussion of the bullets discharging from the chamber. Kiri’s eyes stayed locked on mine and her right arm extended at a ninety-degree angle. Her arm barely moved from the kickback. It stayed strong. I couldn’t understand how her small body could handle the force of my forty-five.
Everyone but Kiri, Gabriel, and I were on the floor with their arms curled around their heads in protection as Kiri and I continued our stare-off.
With the last of the bullets emptied from the chamber, Kiri’s finger slid over the mark and released the magazine to the floor with a thud.
“You think I don’t know how to protect myself? Growing up how I did? I’m a fast study when it comes to self-preservation,” she stated, not dropping her hand.
“Being able to fire a gun won’t do much good if it comes down to hand-to-hand combat. Don’t forget how you froze up when that tracker attacked.”
“Was that before or after I stabbed her?”
“You hesitated,” I growled. “One second…by yourself out there—”
“You can train me. I can learn.”
“I’ll be her partner,” Dilana interjected. “Any day of the week. Sorry, Nye. I’d rather have her. Especially if you’re gonna question her skill right before we go out. That was fucking cold-blooded. She didn’t even flinch. And now I know you can get your piece taken that easy. She’s mine.”
“Whose knife did she use?” I spat.
“That’s not really strengthening your case,” Dilana retorted.
“Maybe I’m underestimating all of your skills,” Gabriel interjected with his arms crossed and his eyebrow raised.
I shook my head in frustration and paced around the room, my fingers gliding over my head, finally stopping at the design on the wall. My fingers traced the holes made by Kiri’s straight shots.
With Dilana, I knew Kiri’d be safe. Kiri’s plan was something that made sense. I always worked with someone that had an other. I never knew if they chose me because they felt safer or if I felt safer because I was with them.
“Can you train me?” I asked with my back turned to the room. I was ashamed for having to ask, but impressed by her all the same.
“What else would we do all day long, if not learn to fight and shoot?”
“I’ve got a few other suggestions.”
“I bet you do.”
“I’m sorry, at what point did I approve this little scheme?” Gabriel asked, breaking the planning phase. “You made the suggestion, but I never approved.”
“You said if the others agreed—” Kiri began and Gabriel raised his hand to silence her.
“I said I would render a verdict. I never said when. You still wish to seal with Nye?” Gabriel asked. “Knowing you may just be another member of the household and not able to implement change?”
Kiri bit on her bottom lip and anger ran across her face. “Just know…I’ll be fighting you at every turn,” she warned.
* * * *
Damarion
I needed to get out, but I couldn’t leave Nemesio. Not in the state she was in. Clinging to my body so tightly, I didn’t even need to lift her and I would still be carrying her. Laying Nemi on my bed, she curled into herself.
“He killed her.”
“What?”
“Kanga was still so weak from her punishment she could barely stand up. Pivane might as well have sent Zuma out alone.”
Nemesio now sat on her knees and reached for my hands.
“She loves you.”
“Loves? Her ashes were released.”
“Yes, they floated on the wind. She will be able to be reborn.”
“Good.”
Zuma needed to be a tracker. How she was beaten was still a mystery. Maybe I had weakened her too much. I turned to Nemesio, her blue eyes lost. Zuma was as much a part of her as I had become. My fingers ran through her hair pulling her toward me when I reached the back of her head.
I gently touched her lips, closed my eyes, and tried to imagine the Princess. For the first time since I had died, I made love. Nemesio followed my lead, just as the Princess had done in the past. My hands explored her body, enjoying it for the first time. Her curves were that of a woman, with that small layer of soft cushion. I stroked her naked skin. She wasn’t sure how to react to the gentle touch, as my fingers danced along the line of her hip. I spread her legs apart and found myself admiring the view of her core calling to me before I took it. Dipping my head I let my tongue dance inside her and she moaned in response. No sharp grunts or groans. No clawing at me as my lips encircled her clit and sucked it into my mouth. I knew what I wanted to do and Nemesio was whom I wanted it from.
With a final deep lick inside her, I let my tongue travel up her body until I found a breast. Hungrily, I took it with the same softness I had with her core. My cock throbbed, wanting to be deep inside her. I teased her pussy, with small strokes, just letting the head pass into her. I heard her catch her breath. I let her slowly envelop me. With my lips on hers, I took my time.
The warmth of her sex took me to another place and time. My fingers ran through Nemi’s short locks, which for once did not seem stiff with dried product. Instead, her hair was soft, and I moaned from the pleasure I received from feeling her body beneath me. She nibbled at my shoulder, but wasn’t attacking. We were making love. Rolling in the bed, she was on top of me, but I held her close. I couldn’t lose her too. My arms wrapped around her body as her hips moved with the same rhythmic motion I had started.
I could feel the release building in me and loosened my grip just enough so she could pull back and I could find her lips. Coming hard, I used my tongue to bring hers into my mouth. She groaned when I came, then I felt the barb of her tail nip at my neck. We held the embrace long after the moment had passed.
“Is that how normals lay with one another?” she asked, lying in my arms, her body wrapped tightly in the sheet.
“Yes,” I said, kissing the top of her head.
“You will lay with the Princess like this?”
“I hope to.”
I turned to my side and Nemesio started kissing my back.
“She knows you need this to survive.”
“It doesn’t make it right.”
“Only if you love me.”
I left the bed and crossed the room to find my clothes.
“I need to discuss something with you.”
“Already? Could we not repeat this once more?”
“No. We can never repeat this.”
“Yes, Yahweh,” Nemesio’s voice softened.
I had shown her something she now wanted but couldn’t have again. Ironically, with all the violent and rough sex I’d had with her, this time turned out to be the most painful for her. Maybe I was turning into a worthy demon after all.
Pulling out a pair of warm-ups and a T-shirt, I crossed to the door. I turned back to see Nemesio, her cheeks now wet with her tears.
“I have found a blade. Do you know of it?”
“White handle?”
“Yes.”
“I know of it, but…but…I will try, Yahweh. I must try to channel the spirit of Zuma before she travels too far on the wind. If I can then…”
She finally turned to look at me.
“I will do it.”
* * * *
Kiriana
Zarmina was so delicate when she brushed through my hair, pulling it up into a cascading French Twist. I didn’t even know that was possible. Somehow my hair was pulled up from my neck, but ringlets framed my face.
My fingers brushed over the flowers she had chosen—beautiful white tulips in a tight bunch and three black orchids, all tied together with a strip of linen.
“This is so exciting. I love sealing ceremonies. It’s been so long since I have been able to witness one.”
“What was yours like?” Nye asked “I just need to follow his lead.”
“The story of sealing is so beautiful. I cried as Gabriel described how I’d be one with Lars. Did Nye tell you about the blade?”
“We cut our arms and then link them together.”
“Yes. It can be scary, but don’t worry. It is only for a moment. A little pain that is taken away by the mixture your other has made to soothe you. It was so funny. Lars was sneezing by the time we were separated. We sealed so quickly.”
“You sneeze from sealing?”
“No. Lars had given me a cold the night before. His temperature dropped so quickly, but he didn’t notice and, well, even with the cold, I didn’t want him to let go.”
“But I thought the Frozen don’t get sick.”
“They don’t. But I was human when I caught the cold. So when we sealed, he got it too. We just had to suffer through a cold for two days. The last of my human side leaving my body.”
“So any human ailment has to run its course,” I asked, a chill tearing through my body.
“I believe so. It goes faster, though, and you have a partner to share in it.”
“Z, can I have a few minutes?”
“Of course. Are you sure?”
The door clicked shut, and the flood-gates were released. If I became sealed, Nye and I would die. Becoming cosmic dust lost forever. No reincarnation. He didn’t deserve that, to pay for my sins.
I stood up and looked in the full-length mirror. I was a vision. My mother would’ve been so happy to see me like this. I reached for my bouquet to see the complete vision of what could have been.
I took it all in. The soft lightweight cotton, which if there weren’t three layers, would be see-through. I looked like a Roman Goddess. The white, sleeveless stola and gold satin palla draped my body well.
I took off the palla and attempted to fold it just as it was when Zarmina had brought it to me. Then I folded the stola.
I pulled a T-shirt and shorts out of my bag I hadn’t unpacked yet. I put on my Chucks and I looked at my flowers. My tears had turned into a river. I held the flowers to my chest, breathed in their wondrous fragrance, then laid them on top of my gown.
Throwing my bag over my shoulder, I peeked out the door. Everyone must be in the greenhouse. Good. I crept toward the door. Placing my hand on the security scanner, I felt relieved that the door opened for me.
It’d take the ten miles or more to get back to town for me to stop crying. I was doing what was best for Nye. That was what mattered.
* * * *
Nye
“So you’re really ready to give it all up? The chance for eternal salvation. The chance for reincarnation.”
“Yeah, Schmitty. I am. She’s worth it all. Everything.”
I stood there in the midst of Zarmina’s flower garden, heather surrounding my feet, and thought I had to be the luckiest man alive. Lars’ phone went off and he excused himself.
Dread started to seep in. The dread I had when Louise didn’t come home at dusk. Where was Zarmina? Something wasn’t right. I could tell by the way Lars was standing by the greenhouse door.
Stalking over to Lars, he quickly closed his phone and put his hands up.
“All right, Nye, just calm down or we’ll have an early frost in here. We both know what that means.”
“Where is she?”
“Nye.”
“Where is she?”
“Not in her room. Z just needed me to give her a few ideas. She’s probably roaming the house for a few minutes.”
“Where is she? Zarmina can read minds. Don’t tell me she has no idea where she is.”
“Nye. Man. I, I don’t know.”
I pushed past him and ran down the hallway. My bare feet made a slapping sound. As I reached the foyer, I came to a halt. Dilana was standing with Kiri, her eyes red with tears.
“Kiri. Baby. What’s going on?”
She wasn’t dressed for our wedding and her backpack was strapped on.
“He deserves a goddamn explanation,” D growled at Kiri.
“I can’t marry you.”
“Excuse me?”
Kiri reached for the lock panel, but D grabbed Kiri’s hand and twisted it behind her back.
“Stop it, D. Let her go.”
Kiri slipped through the door.
“Nye, what the hell? You’re just gonna let her leave without demanding to know why?”
“D. Please, go drive her home. I don’t want her walking all that way.”
“No. Unless she explains why the hell she left.”
“D, last time a woman explained why she left I killed myself. Not knowing gives me solace.”
“Last time the woman disappeared you didn’t know what happened to her. Right now I could drag her skinny ass back in here and make her explain.”
“It’s not going to change her choice. Take her home. For me, please.”
I headed to my room. I was so calm. Calmer than I thought I should be. I understood. Sure, I was giving up something, but she…she actually had a chance for more from life. A family, job, a nice home that wasn’t hidden from society.
I ignored the soft knock at my door. Sympathy wasn’t high on my needs list.
“Nye.”
Z’s voice was softer than the knock.
“Nye, please let me in, or at least let me know you are okay.”
“I’m fine, Z. Just…I’ll be out for the next hunt. Let D know she won’t have to go out on her own.”
“I don’t understand what her thoughts were. They were garbled and flashy. I called Lars as soon as Kiri kicked me out.”
“Zarmina. Please. I don’t need you to interpret her thoughts. I’m sure she was just realizing what marrying me would mean.”
“But her thoughts were of the future…”
I opened the door and looked at her. “Zarmina, it was a great couple of days, but that’s not enough for a person to throw away their life.”
“I don’t think she thought she was throwing away her life. She seemed to think she’d be throwing away…yours? It didn’t make any sense. Go to her, Nye. It’s more than cold toes.”
“I’ll think about it.”
Zarmina clutched my hand and held it to her chest.
“She loves you.”
“Maybe love isn’t enough.” I pulled my hand away and closed the door. What was I to do? I lay on my bed and looked at the empty pillow beside me. I could feel my throat getting sore.
“You can’t lock me out.”
It was Gabriel.
I didn’t answer. What could I say? I’m sure he was only here to give me my punishment. Twenty, fifty, a hundred years. Who cares?
“I will give you an option,” he paused, and I could hear us both breathing. If the pounding in my head would stop, maybe I could process whatever his punishment was.
“Reassignment.”
Another long pause.
“I don’t want to leave.”
“I thought you’d say that.”
“I’d like to see this town through the closing.”
“Is that the only reason?”
“What other would there be?”
I felt the bed shift as he sat at the end. “Nye, you have had a trauma. I shall let you stay home tonight.”
“No.”
“You cannot go out to hunt, but you may go see her one more time. Then you are to never see her again. Would you like to rethink reassignment?”
“Why would I go see her?”
“Why indeed. Why did she leave?”
“What does it matter?”
“She’s not like the other one.”
“How many years?”
He was usually so quick with punishments, tacking on the decades like tails on a donkey.
“When you have seen her again, I will give you your sentence.”
“I won’t see her again.”
“It’s your choice.”