When morning came, Stephen was up, dressed, and ready to leave well before eight o’clock. If he kept up a good pace, he could make it most of the way back to London today. An early start the following day, and he wouldn’t have wasted the best part of a week in travelling to the far-flung outreaches of Witley, Surrey.
He didn’t bother with breakfast. The sooner he was on the road, the quicker Moore Manor would be behind him. His day was well planned, and it was his to do with as he saw fit. He was the master of his own destiny.
After a cursory glance around the downstairs area, which failed to produce either Mister or Mrs. Granville, he found a piece of paper and left them a short note. With his satchel tucked under his arm, Stephen stepped out into the yard, his destination, the stables.
The stable boy was holding the reins of Stephen’s saddled horse, which pleased him greatly. The rest of the scene, however, had a frown set quickly to his face.
In the yard, Mister and Mrs. Granville were standing either side of Toby. His brother. Mrs. Granville had a small travel bag in her hand. Stephen took one look at the bag and figured it wouldn’t take a genius to guess its contents.
As he approached, Mister Granville came forward. “Before you go anywhere, Sir Stephen, may I have a word?”
There was a definite I’m not taking no for an answer edge to the steward’s voice. At the same time, Mrs. Granville straightened her back and glared at Stephen. These people meant business.
“Something tells me I don’t have a lot of choice,” grumbled Stephen.
He and Mister Granville moved to a distant corner of the yard, well out of earshot of anyone else. The moment they stopped and faced one another; the old man started in on him. “I know what you are going to say. That the boy is not your responsibility. That your father was a terrible parent, and if you take Toby on, there is every chance that you will transpire to be the same. You had no idea Toby even existed until yesterday, and you can hardly be expected to take on the role of his guardian.”
The list seemed endless.
Stephen desperately wracked his brains, seeking another good reason as to why he should leave the boy at Moore Manor and forget about him. Attempting to deny any familiar link with Toby seemed at best petulant. He wasn’t that cruel. The boy was obviously Sir Robert’s by-blow.
“I don’t have time for a child. I am a busy man,” replied Stephen.
It’s the truth. What am I to do with him while I am out on a job? I can’t possibly take him to France or Spain with me.
Mister Granville growled. The glint of a man well-prepared for battle shone in his eyes. Stephen didn’t want to know how long the steward had been practicing his speech. It was far too eloquent and well-thought-out for his liking.
“There are such things as nannies and housekeepers. You could engage one, Sir Stephen. Toby needs you, and dare I say . . . you need him,” said Granville.
Stephen gave a derisive snort.
That’s preposterous. I don’t need anyone. Let alone a child. That’s why I don’t ever intend to marry or have a family.
He was in a tight bind, but he was prepared to negotiate. Everyone had a price.
“I will pay for the boy’s upkeep and education. You and Mrs. Granville both seem perfectly capable of taking care of him. I can even look to increase your annual wage if that sweetens the deal.”
Granville stepped forward and smacked his hand against the front of Stephen’s jacket. “Sweetens the deal? This is your brother we are talking about, Sir Stephen, not a bloody horse you are seeking to trade,” he snapped.
He swore at me! Who the devil does he think he is?
Stephen raked his fingers through his hair and sighed. Clearly there was no point in trying to argue with the man. He had to quickly find a resolution that saw them meeting somewhere in the middle. He couldn’t afford to cave.
Then he had an idea.
“How is this for a compromise? I go back to London today and seek to make preparations for Toby’s eventual relocation. Over the next few months, I shall make inquiries as to a child’s nurse for him, along with a suitable school.”
Mister Granville slowly shook his head. “I know the lad’s existence has come as somewhat of a shock.”
“That’s an understatement if I ever heard one,” replied Stephen.
All five feet four of the steward stared him down, which considering the height difference between them was quite a feat. “But you are Toby’s only living relative. His mother and father are both dead. If you abandon him, he will be all alone in the world.”
Granville may not have meant to, but those words instantly shamed Stephen. And for a man who had spent many years living on the edge of the law, he was not accustomed to feeling anything like that emotion. Life was hard, and a man involved in his line of work couldn’t afford to be weak. Or to have much in the way of scruples.
“I’m not abandoning him. He will have a roof over his head and three hot meals a day. It’s more than many other bastards ever get.” He pushed past Granville and made straight for his horse. A brief nod was all he could manage in the direction of Mrs. Granville and Toby.
Taking hold of the reins and placing one foot in the stirrups, Stephen swung up and settled himself into the saddle. He glanced over toward Mister Granville.
“I will send word once I have selected a school.”
With the horse’s head turned toward the front gate, he dug in his heels. The horse leapt away. If Mister Granville called anything out to him in reply, Stephen didn’t hear it. He didn’t want to have anything to do with raising a child.
He made it as far as the end of the drive before he pulled on the reins and brought his racing steed to a halt. Head bowed, he wrestled with his guilty conscience.
“Oh, bloody bollocks,” he muttered.
He tossed the reins aside as he jumped down from the horse. His mount wandered away to nibble on some grass, leaving Stephen to grapple with his dilemma all on his own.
Granville’s words had struck deep, right to painful memories long buried. He had thought himself strong enough to withstand the steward’s pleas, but the look on Toby’s face as he passed him by had almost brought Stephen undone. He knew that look only too well; it was one he had also often worn as a young child.
It was the look of hope.
Before he realized what he was doing, Stephen was kicking up a stone with the toe of his boot. Just like the boy had done at the church. Nervous habits appeared to run in the Moore family blood.
My blood. My family. He is my family.
He had grown up without siblings or any real presence of his parents in his life. Toby was destined to walk the same lonely road that Stephen had done during his younger years.
“And look how that has turned out for you.”
Emotionally repressed. Cold and at times heartless, he was the creation of parental disinterest.
And if he left now, abandoned Toby when he needed him the most, all he would achieve would be to create his brother in his own image. He wasn’t sure of a lot of things, but of one he was certain—the world did not need another broken Moore.
“What am I going to do?”
It wouldn’t be easy, raising a boy on his own. He didn’t have a wife or female relatives to support him. But he did have friends.
I can give him the material things in life. He will never want. Perhaps if I can speak to Alice, she might be able to help.
Lady Alice Steele was warm-hearted and kind. She wouldn’t be the sort to turn her back on a young boy, especially not when he was in need of a mother. A friendly smile and the odd hug were all he would ask of her. It was more than he had ever received.
It’s better than nothing.
He wiped away the tears which had sprung up from nowhere. How many times had he walked this long, lonely drive from house to road weeping as a child? Too bloody many.
“If this all ends in a mess, at least no one can say I didn’t try.”
His horse lifted its head as Stephen approached and gave a friendly whinny in greeting.
Yes, I know. I am doing the right thing. Or at least I hope I am.
Five minutes later, with Toby seated in front of him and the boy’s things stuffed into his saddlebags, Sir Stephen Moore galloped out the front gate of Moore Manor.
He had just become a parent.