Rehearsing with The Grands was like trying to herd a bunch of cats. Old, hung-over, cranky cats. But by the time we broke for lunch, I had them all dressed appropriately in their Army costumes and performing the "Gee I Wish I Was Back in the Army" dance number with enthusiasm if not accuracy. I even rigged a disguise for Aunt Pearl's walker by using brown tweed fabric over a square laundry basket to make it look like she was leaning on a crate. If the musician thing didn't work out, maybe I could go to work for Martha Stewart.
I was munching on a delicious turkey and Gouda cheese sandwich and watching the kids play on the hill behind the house with a sled. Max sat at my feet trying to hypnotize me into giving him a bite.
Ashley breezed in, saying, "I just got a text from Victoria saying something's come up, and they won't be back until later this evening."
"Probably on their way to Jamaica. Re-thinking the whole good ol' fashioned family Christmas." I stuffed the rest of my sandwich in my mouth. Max gave me a disgusted look and jumped up onto the window seat next to the kitchen table.
"I texted her back, asking if anything was wrong, and she replied that everything was fine and they'd see us around six." Ashley sighed. "I just don't want them missing the play. It would be a shame since they're really the reason we're even able to do it."
"So that means we're in charge of dinner," I said with a shudder. I was not the world's greatest cook. A few pasta dishes using sauce from a jar was about my limit. The thought of trying to make dinner for this crew was daunting.
Ashley put my fears to rest. "Like anybody'd ask you to cook." She made a face. "Mom and Anne are picking up lasagna, salad and bread from the Olive Garden on the highway after they're finished shopping."
Ah, saved by take-out.
"Your dog looks like he wants to go out," Ashley commented. "I'm not sure I've actually seen his tail wag before."
Sure enough Max's usually stationary curled up tail was wagging furiously. My first thought was he must have spied a squirrel. I followed his line of sight to the kids sledding down the hill.
"Do you want to go outside, boy?"
He barked and ran to the door, jumping up and almost touching the door knob. I opened it, and he raced over to the kids. Jason was pulling the sled back up the hill.
I stepped outside and cupped my hands over my mouth. "Jason!" I called. "Can Max have a ride on the sled?"
Max had reached the kids and was slogging his way up the hill behind them. "Sure," he called back. "But he ain't got hands, how we gonna keep him on the sled?"
He had a point. "Try holding him on your lap in front of you," I called back.
Jason shrugged and continued up the hill. I stepped back inside.
"This ought to be good," I said, joining Ashley at the bay window.
"If your dog bites one of my kids, I'm biting you," she warned.
"Wow, that's mature, Ashley."
"Just sayin'," she retorted. "I don't trust that dog. He's weird."
We watched as Jason sat down in the front of the oversized sled and positioned Max on his lap. Max put his paws on the curled up plastic edge in front of him. Tiffany climbed on next with Justin giving the sled a push as he jumped on last.
And they were off! Flying down the hill. Max looked like the captain at the front of a ship with his paws braced against the ledge. His long ears and hair were flying out behind him; his curled upper lip made him look like he was wearing a big crooked grin.
"Now I've seen everything," Ashley remarked.
They reached the bottom with a splash of snow and all toppled off. Jason leapt off the sled and raced to the door.
Ashley walked over and opened the kitchen door. "Did you see that Mom?" he shouted. "Max can ride a sled!"
"I saw. Really cool," Ashley responded in her mom voice. "Are you guys getting too cold?"
"No way!"
I pulled on a pair of boots next to the door and grabbed my cell phone. "Jason, see if Max will do it again, and I'll get a video." There was YouTube gold in them there hills!
"Will do, Aunt Di." He raced back outside and rounded up the troops. They started the climb back up the hill with Max following happily behind.
When I came back in from filming two trips down the hill, I found an audience huddled around the bay window.
"That's some dog ya got there," Granddaddy Hacker said. "Seems like he's done it before."
Granddad nodded in agreement. "Where'd he learn to sled?'
I shrugged. "No idea. I got him from the SPCA a couple of years ago. He was a stray."
"Bet that dog used to be in the pictures," Aunt Pearl said. "Got that look about him."
Everyone murmured their agreement. I guess that's an upgrade from circus dog.
A half hour later the gang came in looking for hot chocolate and cookies. Max got a treat and good rub down with a towel. And I was off to practice the "Sisters" act in full costume with Ashley. Ugh!
I was feeling pretty good about my routine with Ashley after an hour of surprisingly fun sister-togetherness. We might not be Rosemary Clooney and Vera-Ellen, but we weren't too shabby either.
I was still dressed in my costume when the doorbell rang. The final dress rehearsal was in fifteen minutes, and I was in charge of rounding up Grands while Ashley and Dan put the finishing touches on the stage.
I opened the door to find a tall, handsome man dressed in a dark suit custom tailored to fit his large frame. My first thought was, Wow, now we're talkin'! But then I recognized the twinkling blue eyes.
"Kyle?"
He laughed. "I knew you wouldn't recognize me without the beard. And judging from the look on your face, it's a good thing I didn't look like this the first time you opened the door or I'da had a hard time explainin' things to Lindsey."
He was probably right, but I wasn't going to let on. "You clean up nice," was all I said.
Ashley clapped her hands in excitement when we walked into the living room. "OMG! You look fantastic! I was so worried you wouldn't make it over." Ashley rushed over and gave him a hug.
Kyle leaned down to return it, saying, "Wouldn't have missed it. Lindsey will be here for the play too." His broad smile said more than any words could.
"I'm so glad it worked out." I patted his arm.
"I've got you to thank," he said turning towards me. "If it wasn't for her bein' jealous, she might still be pouting in Philly, waiting for me to get a clue and come get her." He shook his head at the fickleness of women.
On this point, I had to agree. Lindsey was one of the more stubborn examples of womankind I'd seen.
"I'm just glad you're happy."
Kyle glanced around the room and whistled. "Nice. Who did all this?"
"Elves," I replied.
"You don't say?" he looked around in wonder.
Talk about gullible. "It wasn't actually elves. It was Ashley's husband Dan." Which, come to think of it, was more amazing than elves.
"Didn't really think so, but you never know around this place. Things have been pretty strange around here." Kyle raised his eyes to the ceiling and pointed up.
I nodded. "Can't argue with that."
* * * * *
We had just finished stuffing ourselves with lasagna when my mom commented on Victoria and Jake's absence. The snow had started again, and even in their four-wheel drive truck it wasn't easy to navigate the steep driveway in the dark.
"Hope they didn't run out on us." She was joking, but we all secretly wondered if the joke wasn't on us. We certainly hadn't been model houseguests.
"Two hours before show time," Ashley said. "They sure are cutting it close." She glanced nervously in the direction of the make-shift stage on the other side of the enormous dining room.
"Well, it's been quite a day for them," Mammaw said softly. "I wish we could have had everything ready."
We all looked over at her. "Why do you say that, Mother?" Dave asked.
She smiled. "Why it's not every day you get—" she paused.
"Get what, Mother?" Dave prodded. My mom raised her eyes heavenward and took a gulp of wine. I think she'd had it with all the communications with the dead.
Mammaw stood and tottered over to the door to the hallway. She held up a finger and seemed to listen for something down the hallway. She turned to us and said, "It's time!" She clapped her hands together excitedly.
"Time for what?" I asked.
"Please don't encourage her," Ashley warned.
"The second miracle is here," she said and headed for the front door.
We looked at each other. "I thought this would've made it the third," Dan said rubbing his chin and counting on his fingers. "Granddad not havin' cancer and Kyle getting his wife back."
"No, dear," Mammaw replied, "Kyle isn't our kin."
"Oh, good grief," Ashley said and followed her. A few seconds later, she called, "It's just Jake and Victoria."
"Thank the Lord," Aunt Pearl cried, standing up and heading for the hallway. "I've been in a fit worrying about those two. I've got half a mind to give them the rough side of my tongue. Who goes tramping off all day on Christmas Eve?"
The rest of us were clearing the table when Ashley's voice rang out, "Oh, my God!"
Mammaw said clearly, "I tried to tell you, dear."
We all raced down the hallway. Ashley was staring out the window, saying, "Oh, my God," over and over.
"What now?" my father demanded.
Ashley snapped out of it. "Don't just stand there, Diana. Get the door."
Why was I always the one getting the door? I liked a miracle as much as the next person, but I was starting to feel like a doorman for the dearly departed. And frankly, I was getting a little freaked out by it all.
The wind came in with a rush as I opened the door. The lights flickered, and the fire flared in the living room. Everyone gasped as the door flew open.
Standing in the doorway was Victoria and Jake and in their arms, wrapped in a light blue blanket, was miracle number two.
* * * * *
It took nearly an hour for things to calm down. The couple who were supposed to adopt baby Matthew had backed out suddenly, leaving the social worker assigned to the case scrambling for a suitable couple on Christmas Eve. Luckily for Victoria and Jake, their lawyer was a former classmate of the social worker and had helped her in emergency situations in the past. When he'd called Jake and Victoria while they were having lunch and asked them to come down to his office, they'd been stunned. After all the time they'd spent waiting, they were caught off guard and had to scramble for supplies on their way to meet the social worker.
"You should've seen us racing through the baby store. We each grabbed a cart and just threw in everything we saw." Victoria laughed.
"The clerk said, 'Looks like someone's having a baby.' And Victoria says, 'We just found out we got one for Christmas.'" Jake shook his head.
"She thought we were crazy, of course," Victoria added. "Isn't he beautiful?"
He was adorable with dark brown hair and big blue eyes. He even had a little cleft in his chin. He was sleeping peacefully in a portable bouncy chair after having a bottle. The rest of us were in a mad dash to get our costumes on and start the play. Ashley loved a baby as much as the next person, but nothing was getting in the way of her Christmas play. Kyle and Lindsey showed up promptly at quarter to eight and were brought up to speed on the most recent miracle.
"Maybe we'll have a miracle of our own this time next year," Kyle hinted after hearing the tale.
"Your grandmother said she's counting on it, dear," chimed in Mammaw.
We all groaned.
"Yeah, it's a darn shame we didn't find Diana a feller. What the haints got to say about that?" Granddaddy Hacker demanded.
Mammaw had tilted her head slightly. Her Army hat was just barely staying out of her eyes. She put her finger to her lips.
"Nothing more important than a good man." Aunt Pearl gave a sly look at Granddad.
I rolled my eyes as I manned the stage entrance, waiting for Ashley to finish lining up The Grands, Dan, and Kyle. "I have a good man," I hollered.
"Urmph! That so, then where's he at?" Granddaddy Hacker demanded.
Ashley interrupted the discussion. "It's go time." Her face was flushed with excitement.
I had to smile. "You've done a great job, Ashley. And you look fab in that dress." She actually looked a little like Vera-Ellen with her blond hair pulled up in a pony tail and wearing the perfectly fitting blue satin dress.
My dress didn't fit quite so well, and it was a darker shade of blue. But hey, I was just a bridesmaid here. This was Ashley's big day. Besides, the matching red velvet gowns Ashley had found for the Grand Finale scene were stunning. I glanced around at the motley crew behind me. I was in charge of helping The Grands get dressed in their Christmas finery during our one costume change. The dress rehearsal had not gone well. Even though I loved the red gown, I wasn't sure it was worth the trouble of a costume change. But there'd been no talking Ashley out of it. It wouldn't be a play without a costume change, she reasoned. Yeah, right.
The lights flickered and dimmed three times. "Oh, no! Not a power outage now," Ashley cried.
"Don't worry, dear, that's just the signal that the show's starting," Mammaw said.
"Like at the Opry," Granddaddy Hacker added.
"When have you ever been to the Opera?" Uncle Grover asked haughtily.
"I seen it on the boob tube," Granddaddy insisted.
"How fitting!" Uncle Grover shot back.
"Hush, you two," Ashley scolded. "So you're saying you dimmed the lights?"
"Weren't us," Aunt Pearl insisted.
Mammaw pointed up; we all looked up.
"Just tell them not to mess with the lights during the show," Ashley huffed.
"Oh, they won't. They promised to sit quietly," Mammaw replied.
Ashley put her hand to her forehead. "Let's just start."
I leaned out of the curtain to give my dad the signal to cue the music. The audience included The Parents, Granddad, Victoria, Jake, and baby Matthew, and Lindsey. And four empty chairs. I didn't even bother to ask Mammaw how many ghosts she'd been talking to or to ask Dan why he put out a dozen chairs when there were only eight of us. It was Christmas, and all things were possible.
The play went as well as could be expected. Suffice it to say, we weren't being called up to Broadway anytime soon. But, during the last scene, as the whole family sang "White Christmas" together with Granddad plucking out the notes I'd taught him on his Gibson, I realized that of all the miracles I'd seen this Christmas, the change in my heart was by far the greatest. I had found my Christmas spirit again. No easy task for a Grinch like me. Don't get me wrong, you won't find me recommending a good ol' fashioned family Christmas vacation to anyone. Really, there has to be an easier way to get in the Christmas spirit than to spend four days with my family. But if you happen to find yourself in similar straits, here's a tip for you: be sure to bring plenty of eggnog.
The lights flashed again as we sang the last few words. "Guess the haints are showing their appreciation," Granddaddy Hacker cackled.
There was quiet as we all paused to consider this and soak in the Christmas spirits.
Then the doorbell rang.
"Who could that be?" Victoria said as she rose.
"No, dear," Mammaw called. "Diana should answer it."
Everyone turned to look at me. I stepped off the stage, my long red velvet Christmas dress with three-layers of crinoline peaking from beneath, trailed behind me. Feeling like I was dreaming, I walked towards the door. Everyone hurried after me. As I neared the door, my apprehension faded. I grasped the knob, somehow knowing what I'd find when I opened it.
Cold air and snow flew through the doorway. My family gasped behind me.
"You didn't really think I'd let you spend our first Christmas together alone, did you?" Mark asked, grabbing me around the waist and pulling me towards him.
"I never doubted you for a second," I whispered against his lips, drinking in his delicious smell.
He laughed. "I'm sure." His lips touched mine and my family "awwed" and then started to clap. The lights flashed several times, and the door slammed shut behind him.
"What's going on here?" he asked as our kiss ended and he looked around the room.
I smiled. "Why don't I get you some eggnog before we get into all that?"
* * * * *
* * * * *
FREE QUEENIE BABY STORY!
I hope you enjoyed following Diana’s adventures as much as I enjoyed writing about them! If you would like to find out more about Diana’s first brush with fame and the kooky characters she met along the way, just click below and I will send you the FREE short story prelude Queenie Baby: On Location.
CLICK HERE FOR FREE SHORT STORY
* * * * *
About the Author
Christina wrote her first novel, a time-travel romance, more than twenty years ago. Writing fell by the wayside as family and career obligations took over. She earned advanced degrees in business, taught for colleges, managed staffing agencies, and started several entrepreneurial ventures, until she found her way back to fiction writing through the unlikely avenue of metastatic breast cancer. She believes laughter is the best medicine and hopes her readers find a cure for what ails them following the wacky antics of the characters she creates. Christina, her husband, Jim, and their two children live in Dover, Delaware with the family sidekick, a shih tzu-poodle mix named Max.
To learn more about Christina, visit her online at caburke.com
* * * * *
OTHER BOOKS BY CHRISTINA A. BURKE
Queenie Baby novels:
Queenie Baby: On Assignment
Queenie Baby: Out of Office
Queenie Baby: Pass the Eggnog (a holiday novella)
Queenie Baby: On Tour (coming soon!)
* * * * *
ABOUT THE MUSIC
The original music performed by our heroine, Diana Hudson, is based on the real-life songs of singer/songwriter Tad Jones. You can find Tad and his music at tadjonesmusic.com.
Download my favorite Tad Jones’ song "Do They Have Rum" (a.k.a. "The Rum Song") on iTunes!
If you enjoyed the Queenie Baby books, check out these other funny, romantic mysteries from Gemma Halliday Publishing:
Calamity Jayne (Calamity Jayne book #1)
How does a blonde spell "Farm"?
E-I-E-I-O
Tressa Jayne Turner has had it up to here with the dumb-blonde jokes and a childhood nickname that's harder to get rid of than her favorite pair of cowboy boots. Thanks to one Rick Townsend, Iowa Department of Natural Resources officer, local hottie, and general pain in Tressa's behind, everyone knows her as "Calamity Jayne". Just because she may be a little accident prone and trouble seems to sometimes find her, Tressa can't get anyone in her small town to take her seriously. That is, until Tressa finds a seriously dead body and an opportunity to get "Ranger Rick" and a skeptical citizenry to see that she's no longer that skinny kid with scraped knees. How? By resurrecting her job as a reporter for the hometown paper and solving a murder no one else believes happened... no one, that is, except the killer. Now Tressa is one not-so-dumb blonde who's out to gain a little hometown respect—or die trying.
Nearly Departed
Victoria Spring hates her job. The last career a reluctant medium should pursue is crime scene clean up; it would have been nice to know she could talk to ghosts before taking the job.
As the co-founder of SPRING CLEANING, most of the hard work should be covered by her business partner & brother, Jerry. And it was...until he was shipped off to Afghanistan and declared missing in action over two years ago. Determined not to disappoint her parents, Vicky keeps the business afloat "just until Jerry gets back." But when she agrees to clean up the murder-suicide of three college students, she knows she'll need help. Ex-cop Smoke Barclay is more than a little mysterious, but he has great references, passed the puke test, and has a decent hand shake, so he's hired. Smoke's help should make this job a breeze, but when the ghosts of the three victims show up at the scene claiming all three were murdered by someone still on the loose; Vicky knows nothing about this job is going to be easy.
Helping the ghosts move on means finding out what really happened to happened to them...even if it means Vicky may be the next victim.
Fashion, Lies, and Murder (Amber Fox Mysteries book #1)
Amber Fox has been making too many mistakes, and something's got to give...
For starters, Amber accidentally shoots Chief Inspector Janice Skipper and gets thrown off the police force. Oops! Then, she accepts a job as an insurance investigator from her ex-fiancé, Brad Beckett. Only Brad thinks they've still got unfinished business in the romance department, making for a steamier working environment than Amber counted on. And when fashion designer, Umberto Fandango, goes missing, Amber's investigative skills are put to the ultimate test. Nothing about the case is what it seems, and to make matters worse Amber's arch-enemy, Chief Inspector Skipper, is also investigating the disappearance. If Amber wants her old job back, she's in a race against time to solve the mystery before Skipper does... all the while dodging her ex-fiancé, her own mixed up feelings, and a couple of crazy mobsters.
Who is Umberto Fandango? Is he dead? And can Amber stay one step ahead to stay alive?