Helen’s lips were a breath away from his. Mark wasn’t sure how they had gotten so close to his, but the desire to kiss her was a great weight pressing him closer still. It took every ounce of strength he had to hold himself that breath away.
He had nothing to offer her. Not even a plan for the future. How could he begin courting her when she thought he should go back to Angela? Rather than fight a losing battle, he moved slightly to the side and kissed her cheek. The softness of her skin beneath his lips startled him and begged him to explore the contours of her face. She turned away, leaving him bereft in a swirling sea of confusion.
It wasn’t friendship or a wish to comfort her that quickened his pulse and robbed the air from his lungs.
He didn’t understand the powerful attraction she held for him, but he was starting to believe it was love. He stepped back and let his arms fall to his sides. With a little more distance between them, he was able to think coherently. “It’s late. I should be getting home.”
She knelt and began picking up the broken pieces of the cup. “Please tell Anna and Rebecca that Charlotte and I will come by for a visit later this morning.”
“I will.” Should he apologize for kissing her? Maybe it was better to pretend the gesture was meant to comfort her. If she didn’t say anything, he wouldn’t, either.
“I won’t be into work. I don’t think Charlotte should be left alone. I hope you understand.” She didn’t look at him.
“Jessica can take care of anything that comes along. Let me know if you need something.”
“I’m okay. We’ll be okay. Clyde can sleep in my room for the rest of the night. You don’t need to worry about a return visit.”
“I was just getting used to him as my alarm clock.”
She didn’t smile as he hoped she would. She still hadn’t looked at him. Rising to her feet, she carried the debris to the wastebasket and dropped it in. “Danki, Mark, for everything.”
“I’ll see you later. Get some rest now, and try not to worry about Charlotte.”
She finally glanced his way and managed a shaky smile. “I’ll do my best. Good night.”
“Guten nacht.”
The urge to take her back in his arms sent him out the door, wishing he wasn’t quite so strong but thankful that he’d come to his senses in time. How would he avoid giving in to the temptation to kiss her when he saw her every day? As he climbed into his buggy, he realized the answer was simple. He couldn’t be alone with her. Or he had to convince her that she was the woman he wanted to court.
Everything he thought he knew about love had changed in the last few days. It wasn’t a frivolous feeling. It was a deep and profound emotion that made his heart ache with the need to be close to Helen. He’d never be the same after tonight. He’d never look at her the same way again.
What was he going to do about it?
He had no idea how she felt about him beyond her friendship, but she professed to want an independent life, not marriage. Could he change her mind? Should he try, or would that destroy the very real friendship they shared? He wasn’t sure what to do.
He had to have a plan.
Thunder rumbled in the distance as a sprinkle of rain began falling. He watched the light in the kitchen window until it grew dim and faded. The glow soon brightened the window near the back of the house, and he knew she had gone down the hall to her bedroom.
The wind rose, and the rain began in earnest, hitting the top of his buggy as the storm rolled in. He waited until Helen’s light went out before he started for home. He had a lot of thinking to do and new plans to make. He’d never courted a woman before, but he intended to court Helen Zook. And he was going to need help.
* * *
Charlotte was as cheerful as ever the next morning when Helen entered the kitchen. She was scrambling eggs. “I made some coffee, if you want it. What would you like to take for your lunch today? We have some leftover meatloaf that would make a good sandwich.”
“I’m not going to work today, so you don’t need to make my lunch. I thought we should visit Anna today. You owe her and Isaac an apology.”
“I guess I do, but Anna will understand. She knows about Clyde’s talent.” She carried the skillet to Clyde’s bowl and gave him a portion of eggs before moving to the table and dividing the rest between her plate and Helen’s. The two women ate in silence. Helen was glad for that. She couldn’t make idle chitchat if she wanted to.
She had been sure that Mark intended to kiss her. Why had he given her a peck on the cheek instead? Had she mistaken his intentions? Had the bold way she offered her lips to him disgusted him? It would be difficult to pretend she cared about him as a friend when he was so much more. The sensible thing was to avoid being alone with him in the future.
“What did you and Mark talk about for so long last night?” Charlotte asked, looking at Helen over the rim of her coffee cup.
“This and that. Nothing really. Chitchat mostly.”
“Strange. I was certain I heard you talking about me.”
Helen leveled a stern look at Charlotte. “Were you eavesdropping?”
Charlotte shook her head. “Absolutely not. I just happen to be in the hallway outside the kitchen doorway.”
“Why were you in the hallway?”
“That’s a silly question. I couldn’t hear a thing in my room.” She winked at Helen.
Helen had to smile at her confession. “Eavesdroppers rarely hear anything good about themselves.”
“They say that’s true, but I still don’t know who they are. What time are we going over to see Anna?”
“After I do these dishes and wash a load of clothes. I don’t have a single clean apron to wear. Everything is covered in flour.”
“You will have to invest in some material to make more white ones. Flour won’t show on them as much. I will go fill the washer for you. I think we are done with the rain, so you can hang them out on the line without a worry.”
It took about Helen an hour and a half to wash her aprons and dresses along with several of Charlotte’s in the surprisingly new wringer washer Charlotte had on her back porch. When the line of blue and mauve dresses and black aprons were fluttering on the clothesline at the side of the house, Helen hitched up the buggy and waited for her aunt to join her. She came out a few minutes later with Clyde trotting beside her.
It didn’t take long to reach the Bowman house. Paul was outside and offered to take care of the horse, and the two women went in. Anna greeted each of them with a holy kiss on the lips, surprising Helen. The gesture was normally used at baptisms in Helen’s congregation. It wasn’t common practice to do it outside of a special occasion.
“Come in the living room and sit down,” Anna said. “Rebecca and Lillian are here, too.”
“Where is Mark?” Charlotte asked, taking a seat.
“He and Isaac are trying to decide the best way to take that old tree down. A limb broke off and hit the roof in the storm last night. I’m sure he’ll be in soon.” Anna took a seat beside Charlotte.
The silence stretched for an uncomfortable long minute until Charlotte turned to Helen. “Aren’t you going to tell them how crazy I am?”
“You aren’t crazy, Aenti,” Helen rushed to reassure her. “But you have put this family through some uncomfortable nights by your actions. You need to apologize.”
Charlotte chuckled and smiled at Anna. “Clyde has been matchmaking again.”
“So I have noticed,” Anna replied with a grin. She patted the dog sitting beside her.
Charlotte cast a sidelong glance at Helen. “My niece doesn’t believe he has such a talent.”
“Dogs can’t be matchmakers. It’s not possible,” Mark said from the doorway. He entered the room and sat down across from Helen. She was glad to have him there.
“Actually, Clyde has something of a reputation for doing just that,” Rebecca said gently.
Helen couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “You can’t be serious.”
“Oh, she is,” Lillian added. “I’ve seen it myself.”
“You met Grace Yoder at the frolic, didn’t you?” Charlotte asked.
Helen combed her memory. “The elderly lady in the wheelchair?”
Charlotte nodded and leaned forward in her chair. “Last year she was attending a wedding for one of our nice young couples. She was Grace Troyer then. I needed my hands free, so she offered to hold Clyde’s leash. She tied it to the arm of her wheelchair. Clyde bolted across the lawn, pulling her behind him, and ran right into Silas Yoder. He ended up in Grace’s lap as Clyde raced down the lane, pulling both of them. When he stopped and people caught up with them, Grace and Silas were sharing a great laugh. She said it was the most fun she had had in years. It wasn’t two months before their banns were announced. Everyone was stunned except Clyde and me.”
“It was a coincidence,” Mark said with a dismissive gesture.
Rebecca gave a slight shake of her head. “We can name four other instances where Clyde’s activities brought couples together who wouldn’t normally have gone out with each other. They all married.”
Helen rose to her feet and paced across the room and back. “This is ridiculous. Mark and I aren’t meant to be a match.”
“Clyde thinks so,” Charlotte declared. “I might be a little crazy, but I usually understand what my boy is telling me.”
Mark rose to his feet. “This is food for thought.”
Helen spun to face him. “You can’t be serious.”
He headed for the door but paused to look back. “I have work to do. Since Charlotte is fine, perhaps you could come out to the shop and give us a hand, Helen?”
She caught the slight come-with-me nod he gave her as he opened the door. It was better than staying and listening to this nonsense. Besides, she wanted to hear his explanation of food for thought.
His aunt spoke up. “Helen, I wanted to ask you before you go if you would be able to work in the gift shop for a few hours a week from Wednesday? The family has been invited to a picnic with Fannie’s family. It’s her birthday, but I hate to close the shop. We have an Amish country tour bus scheduled to stop for refreshments that day.”
Charlotte huffed and crossed her arms. “Tourists. There are more every day.”
“They are goot for business, and we must show kindness to strangers,” Anna said with a stern look for Charlotte, who rolled her eyes without commenting.
“I’d be happy to help out,” Helen said, eager to be gone.
Anna smiled. “Danki, my dear.”
“We’ll see that Charlotte and Clyde get home later this morning,” Lillian added.
Helen went out the door with Mark, forgetting for the moment that she wasn’t going to be alone with him anymore. Once they were away from the house, she hurried to keep up with him. “You don’t believe any of that, do you?”
He kept walking. “That a dog knows who should marry? Of course not. But Charlotte believes it, so we will play along to keep her happy, and she’ll keep Clyde at home.”
Helen stopped. “What do you mean play along?”
He turned to face her and hooked his thumbs under his suspenders. “We do what we’ve been doing. I’ll come by for breakfast and give you a ride to work. I’ll even go to the market with you. The difference will be that I, and the whole house, can sleep until a decent hour.”
“I’m not sure about this.” Wasn’t spending time with him what she wanted to avoid?
“Let’s give it a try. If it doesn’t work out, we’ll try something else.”
“Okay. I guess I can do that for the few weeks you have left here.” She tugged nervously on the ribbons of her kapp. She could pretend they were still friends for that long, couldn’t she?
* * *
Mark almost shouted for joy when she agreed. He never would have believed his courting help would come from a dog. God had a wondrous sense of humor. Mark didn’t have a new plan for his business yet, but he was willing to give the problem over to God to solve for the first time in his life. A great weight lifted from his shoulders.
Inside the woodworking shop, Mark began carving the intricate detail along the edge of the reproduction dresser while Helen went to work in the office.
An hour later, Mark looked up to see his uncle watching him. He straightened. “Is there something you wanted?”
“I just like to watch a fine craftsman at work.” He moved closer and drew his hands around the surface. “This is goot work, Mark. You are getting better all the time.”
Mark took a step back. “I like to bring the beauty God put into the wood out for all to see.”
“The understanding and respect you have for the piece shows. If you weren’t so set on your own plan, I’d tell you to follow your heart and see where it leads you.”
Mark frowned at his uncle. “I don’t know what you mean.”
Isaac laid his hand on Mark’s shoulder. “You have a head for business, but you have the heart of an artist.”
Isaac left the work area, leaving Mark to stare after him and ponder his words.
It wasn’t until later in the afternoon that Helen left the office. He saw her coming his way and slipped her nearly complete spice rack beneath his table.
She turned her head first one way and then another to study the dresser top he had finished. “That’s goot, Mark.”
“I’m satisfied.”
The smile she pasted on her face looked as if it might crack. “Have you decided what you are going to do about Angela?”
He took a deep breath. “I’m not going home to see her.”
“Then you should write her a letter and explain how you feel,” Helen stated firmly.
“She doesn’t want to marry me.”
Helen kept her gazed fixed on the dresser, avoiding his eyes. “You haven’t even tried to change her mind. Have you told her you miss her and how much you look forward to the end of your time here? If you haven’t said it in so many words, she doesn’t know those things. A woman needs to know how a man truly feels about her in plain words. You can’t leave her guessing.”
What did Helen want to hear from a man who was falling in love with her? Who better to tell him than her? “What could I write that would change a woman’s mind? What would you want to hear?”
Helen stared down at his tabletop. “We aren’t talking about me.”
He picked up a pen and took a clean sheet of paper from his top drawer. “Where do I start? Dear or dearest?”
She looked at him. “How do you usually start your letters?”
“I just use her name. ‘To Angela, my sister in Christ.’”
“Then I would start with my dearest Angela.”
“My dearest. All right, what else could I say that might win her over?”
Helen straightened the tools on his desk and lined them up neatly. “Tell her what is in your heart.”
“Like what?”
“How do you feel when she isn’t with you?”
He bent over the paper. “Every day that I am not with you is like living inside a dark cloud. How is that?”
“Nice.”
“Just nice?”
“You can do better.”
“You bring light to my world, to my heart and soul. My heart smiles every time I close my eyes and imagine your face. I dream that one day your heart will smile back at mine.”
“That’s beautiful, Mark.”
“You like it?”
Helen cleared her throat. “I’m sure she will.”
He bent over his paper again. “When I can’t sleep, I look up at the moon in the night sky, and I wonder if you are looking at it, too. It comforts me to know you and I share something so lovely.” He looked up. “What else should I say?”
“Tell her what she does that makes you happy”
“Everything you do makes me happy.”
“Specifics are better.”
He nodded. “I love the way you tap your foot when you are feeling impatient, and that cute pout on your lips makes me want to kiss you into a better mood.”
Helen stepped back and put her hands in her pockets. “You have the idea now. No point in my eavesdropping any longer.”
“Would those words make you come back to a man?”
She gazed at him. “Only if I knew that he loved me.”
“How could you be sure of that?”
“By the way he kissed me.” She looked away. “Go see her in person.”
“Did you know Joseph didn’t love you by the way he kissed you?”
“Maybe I did.” She marched out of the room, letting the door slam behind her.
Mark sighed. How could he convince Helen of his feelings if she thought he wanted a different woman? How could he make her believe the truth?
He turned back to his work and noticed Paul standing a few feet away. How much had he overheard?
“I wondered what was wrong with you. Now I know,” Paul said, coming to stand beside Mark.
“What do you think you know?”
“You’re in love with Helen. The moon in the night sky, I may use that line myself.”
“Helen was helping me write a letter to Angela.”
“That’s not who you were thinking of. I saw your face when you looked at Helen.”
“Okay, I wasn’t writing to Angela. I was trying to find out what Helen would want to hear from a man who’s falling in love with her.”
“Want some advice?”
“No. Yes.” Mark raked both hands through his hair. “I had everything figured out, Paul. I had a way to build a business with Angela’s father that would keep Daed working and provide security for our sisters so they would never have to be sent to live with strangers.”
“Whoa.” Paul leaned in to look Mark in the eyes. “Why would our sisters ever be sent to live with strangers?”
Mark shrugged. “Bad things happen.”
“Like your mother dying?”
“That’s right. And like your father.”
Paul took Mark by his shoulders and gave him a gentle shake. “I know your dad shuffled you off to different places when he couldn’t get work. Mamm told me about that, but you and I would never let that happen to our sisters. Would we?”
Paul slapped a hand to his chest. “I wouldn’t let that happen. We are a family. We’ll always be a family, and we’ll always look out for each other. Isaac and Anna, Noah and Fannie, Samuel and Rebecca and their children, Timothy and Lillian, Joshua, Mary and Hannah, Luke and Emma, my mother and all our sisters and your father and the members of our church, not to mention our God in heaven who looks after all His children. You aren’t alone, Mark. You aren’t the only one responsible for what happens to us.”
Mark wrestled with his need to be in control even as he realized how fruitless his attempt had been. “But I’m the oldest son.”
Paul straightened. “You might be the oldest, but you aren’t the only one who cares. Is that why you were going to marry Angela? So you could go into business with her father?”
“It seemed like a good plan at the time. Fortunately, Angela has decided she won’t marry me, but Helen thinks I can convince her otherwise.”
“Well, your letter-writing exercise didn’t help there.”
“Thanks for that bit of useless insight. Tell me, how can I convince Helen she is the one I want and not Angela?”
“Knowing how stubborn Helen can be when she sets her mind to a thing, you shouldn’t rush her. You two are friends. Continue to be her friend and pray her feelings grow into something more. I think she is already in love with you, but she isn’t ready to admit it.”
“I don’t know. I don’t have anything to offer her. No job, no business prospects. Nothing.”
“What do you mean no job? I’ve heard Onkel Isaac tell you many times that you can stay here and work with him.”
“It wouldn’t be my business.” Was that really so important anymore?
“That’s where you’re wrong. This is the family’s business. You and I are already a part of it. We have been since the day we arrived.”
Paul was right. God had been working on a plan for Mark’s life without him even realizing it. Mark reached out and ruffled his brother’s hair. “How did you get to be so smart?”
Paul playfully slapped his hand away. “Not because of anything my big brother taught me.”
* * *
Helen was amazed at how easily she and Mark slipped back into old habits. He showed up for breakfast at Charlotte’s three times the following week without Clyde bringing him. Sometimes she caught him staring at her with a look of longing on his face, but he would quickly look away and make a joke or tease Charlotte. On Friday, he accompanied her, along with her aunt and Clyde, to the farmers’ market. Clyde and his clowning drew a crowd again, and Helen sold out of the dog biscuits before the evening was half over and took orders for another dozen packages. She was happy to stay busy because it kept her mind off how much she wanted to tell Mark about her growing feelings for him.
There was no point in denying it any longer. She was in love with him, but she couldn’t say anything. She wouldn’t. She had come between two people who belonged together once before and hurt them deeply in the process. She would never do anything to hurt Mark. She knew how much his plans and his family’s security meant to him.
Charlotte still spent hours searching for Juliet each day. Helen had given up all hope of finding the raccoon, but Charlotte wouldn’t. Clyde remained in her room all through the night and didn’t bother the Bowmans again.
On Saturday, Mark helped Helen stock her unsold items in Anna’s gift shop. He carried in two large boxes for her and then stood looking around. “Where do you want these?”
“I’ve been putting some of the breads and rolls beside the honey and jams Anna has for sale. I put the rest of the baked goods on the table at the back.”
He removed several packages of bread from her box and handed them to her to arrange to her satisfaction. “I think you should display the cookies, cake pops and dog treats beside the checkout counter. You’ll get more impulse buys that way.”
“You might be right.” She set out the bread and headed toward the table Anna had set up for Helen’s display. She moved behind the table to put a little more distance between Mark and herself.
Mark chuckled, and Helen dipped her head. She loved the sound of his laughter. “What’s so funny?”
“You should have Clyde in here to point toward the dog biscuits and clown for people.”
She shook her head as she put more of the goods on the table. “I don’t think that’s a wise idea. How many of Anna’s customers would enjoy being knocked down by him?”
He planted his hands on the table and leaned toward her. She looked up and met his gaze. “Some fellas might enjoy having a pretty girl pushed into their arms. I did.”
Helen felt the heat rush to her face. “I don’t remember it that way.”
Mark walked around the table and stood close beside her. Too close, but she couldn’t move away. Every moment, it became harder to keep her feelings hidden and pretend she didn’t love him. More than anything, she wanted to be held in his arms and feel the touch of his lips on hers.
“It was the loss of your cream horns that upset me.” He picked up a package of them and began to unwrap it.
“Those are for sale,” she said, but her voice cracked. She hoped he didn’t notice.
“I’ll pay for them.” He took out one and bit into it but he made a sour face. “There’s something wrong with these. They aren’t sweet enough.”
Had she made a mistake in the recipe? “Really?”
“Try a bite and see what you think.” He turned the pastry around so she could sample the other end but he still held it between his fingers.
She was forced to lean forward slightly. She took a quick nibble, then pulled away. “It tastes okay to me.”
He used his thumb to brush away some crumbs at the corner of her mouth. She licked her lips to remove the tingle, but it didn’t help.
“I remember them being much sweeter,” Mark said softly as he cupped his hand beneath her chin and leaned toward her.
Helen closed her eyes as his lips touched hers ever so softly. Her heart soared with joy. Nothing could be sweeter than this. It was everything she dreamed of and more.
The next second, he drew away. She wanted to pull him back, to know that happiness again, but the bell over the door jingled as a customer came in, forcing her return to reality. She pressed her fingers to her lips as she stared at Mark. “I’m sorry I let that happen,” she whispered hoarsely.
“I’m not.” The tender look in his eyes was more than she could bear.
Helen fled, leaving the rest of her goods in the boxes.
* * *
Thankfully, she was able to avoid seeing Mark on Sunday except for brief glances during the church service. She didn’t stay for the lunch, giving him no opportunity to seek her out. All afternoon and evening, she waited for him to come see her at home, but he didn’t. In her mind, it was proof that the kiss had been a mistake.
When Mark didn’t show up for breakfast the next morning, Helen was deeply relieved. She still had no idea how she could face him or what she would say. Taking a clue from his absence, she decided the best thing to do was to pretend it never happened.
When she reached the office, she learned he would be away on business for the next several days, and she breathed a sigh of relief. She wasn’t at all certain she could pull off such a pretense.
On Tuesday, the mail carrier brought Helen the letter she had been both dreading and praying to receive. It was from her family. She carried the letter down to the bank of the river to read in private. Tearing open the envelope, she pulled out a single sheet of paper. There was one line written on it.
Helen, Come home for we all love and miss you. Olivia.
Tears poured down Helen’s cheeks as she clutched the letter to her chest. She loved them and missed them, too. Her shame and her pride had kept her away, but her sister’s words bound up the wounds of her heart. She could go home. Maybe there, she could eventually forget about Mark and the love she didn’t dare admit.
* * *
The next morning, Helen was putting out packages of cookies and cake pops to replace the ones that had sold in the gift shop. The entire Bowman family, including Mark, had gone to a picnic with Fannie’s parents to celebrate Fannie’s birthday, making one more day that Helen didn’t have to face him. She hadn’t told anyone about her plans to return home, but she would have to do so soon.
The bell over the door jingled. Helen looked up to see who had entered. It was a tall Amish woman with a wary expression on her face.
Helen smiled. “Welcome to our gift store. Feel free to look around. Be sure to ask me for help if you need it. Are you looking for something special?”
“I’m not shopping. I hoped you could tell me where I might find Mark Bowman. I’ve been to the house, but no one is there, and the business seems to be closed until later today.”
“Mark and his family have gone on a picnic with the Erb family. It’s a birthday party for their daughter, but he should back before long. Is he expecting you? I can give you directions to the Erb farm.”
“Mark isn’t expecting me. In fact, I’m sure he’ll be shocked to see me. I’ll just wait, if that’s okay.” She carried a small suitcase in one hand, and Helen wondered who she was.
“Of course. You are welcome to wait here, or you can go over to the house and wait there. The Bowmans won’t mind. I’m Helen Zook. I’m a neighbor.”
The woman smiled. “It’s nice to meet you, Helen. I’m Angela Yoder.”
Helen stared at her in shock. “From Pennsylvania?”
“I take it Mark has mentioned me.”
“He has.” What did Angela want? Why had she come all this way to see Mark when he was returning to Pennsylvania in another few weeks?
“I’m on my way to a cousin’s wedding in Millersburg, and I had my driver stop here since I was this close. I wasn’t expecting to wait. I can’t stay long.”
“I’m sure Mark will be delighted to see you.”
“I hope so. I sure do hope so,” Angela muttered more to herself than to Helen. “What has he said about me?”
“That you and he had an understanding but that you changed your mind.”
Angela’s laugh sounded flat. “I guess he has told you quite a bit. You must know him well.”
“We’re friends.”
“That’s more than I can say, and I’m going to marry him.”
Helen’s heart plunged to her feet. She should be glad for him, but all she felt was heartbreak. “Mark is a fine man. He is honest and hardworking. He will make a loving and comforting husband. He deserves to be happy, and so do you.”
“I hope what I have to tell him will make us both happy.”
Mark’s letter must have convinced her to give him another chance. “His dream of a business back home means everything to him.”
“I’m glad to know that.”
Helen noticed the Bowmans’ buggy turn in and stop. Mark and Anna got out, but Isaac and the others drove on. “Here he comes now.”
The bell over the door jangled as Mark and his aunt entered. Anna pulled off her black traveling bonnet. “I’m ever so grateful that you kept an eye on things here, Helen, but you are free to go now.” She went behind the counter and hung up her bonnet.
Mark had seen Angela. He looked frozen in place. Angela walked toward him. “Hello, Mark.”
“Angela! What are you doing here?”
Angela glanced around nervously. “I wanted to see you. I’ve made a mistake. Is there somewhere private that we can talk?”
He glanced at Helen. She turned away to finish filling the shelf and to hide the tears pricking the backs of her eyes.
“Angela, if you will step across to the woodworking shop, I’ll be over in a few minutes and we can talk in my office. I need to speak to Helen first.”
“Okay.” Angela glanced between them but went out the door.
“Don’t keep her waiting, Mark. She came a long way. Your letter convinced her to change her mind.” Helen moved farther down the counter.
“Helen, please. I want to tell you how much you have come to mean to me.”
She turned around with a bright smile frozen in place. “Your friendship has meant the world to me, too.”
“I think we both know this is more than friendship between us, Helen. I haven’t forgotten our kiss.”
Neither had she. She drew a deep breath and faced him. “I’ve had a letter from my sister asking me to come home. I’m going.”
He frowned. “When did you decide this?”
“After I read my sister’s letter. I’ve been very selfish. I didn’t realize how much my leaving hurt everyone. I need to reconcile with her and the rest of my family.”
“Then you’ll come back?”
She saw the hope in his eyes and couldn’t bear it. If he gave up his dream for her, she would always regret causing that. “Nee. Nappanee is my home. That’s where I belong.”
“What about Charlotte?”
“She is tired of having me in the house. She’ll do fine. She has friends and the church to look after her.”
“When are you leaving?”
“The soonest I can get a bus home is Saturday.”
“What about us?” he asked softly.
She sighed deeply and turned to him. “You and I will always be friends. I hope you’ll write and tell me how the business is doing and if your father is enjoying working with you.”
He stepped up to grasp her shoulders. “I thought we had something special.”
“We had a special friendship. I’m sorry if you thought it was something more. Go to Angela. You have everything you’ve dreamed of now.” She pulled away and fled out the door before she could blurt out that she loved him.
* * *
Mark watched Helen leave as a wave of sorrow nearly brought him to his knees. He should have found a way to make her stay and listen to him. He should have told her sooner how much he loved her and how much he wanted her to be a part of his life. How could she not love him in return? How could she walk away? Bereft as much now as he had been as a child, he blinked back tears.
Maybe he shouldn’t have kissed her.
No, if nothing else, he would have that one sweet memory to carry with him forever.
“I’m sorry, Mark.” He’d forgotten Anna was still there until she spoke.
“She doesn’t love me. Am I so hard to love? What’s wrong with me?”
Anna came and put her arms around him, pulling him close to comfort him as she had when he was a small scared boy. “Many people love you. Gott loves you. Never doubt that.”
“What should I do?”
“Give Helen some time and then go speak her, and tell her how you feel.”
“How much time? You heard her. She’s leaving on Saturday.” What if she didn’t love him? How could he face that?
Anna held him at arm’s length. “Silly boy. You can always buy a ticket to Indiana, too. These things happen in Gott’s time. Have faith.”
He closed his eyes. Please, Lord, show me how to make her see that I love her.
He gave his aunt a weak smile. “I reckon I should go speak with Angela.”
“You do that. Close one door and perhaps a new door will open more easily.”
Mark left his aunt’s gift shop and crossed the parking lot to the woodworking shop. He found Angela seated in his small office. A faint frown creased her brow. She didn’t look happy to see him. How had he ever imagined being married to her? “I’m sorry I took so long.”
“I should have let you know I was coming.”
“If you had, I might have been able to save you the trip. I won’t marry you, Angela. Your father may keep his land and the money I have paid him if he feels I have broken our contract, but I love someone else.”
Angela closed her eyes, clasped her hands to her chest and lifted her face to the ceiling. “Thank you, dearest Lord, for hearing my prayers.”
Mark wasn’t sure what to make of her words. “I thought you had come to tell me you would marry me.”
She drew a deep breath and looked at him. “I did.”
“Then I’m confused.”
“Father has been pressuring me to accept you ever since I told you I had changed my mind. I finally gave in only to learn his insistence wasn’t because he wanted me to be happy. He didn’t want to return your money.”
“Let him keep it.”
She smiled. “Nee, for it is yours. This has been a lesson to my father on the sin of greed. We have not spent a penny of it. I have brought the full amount with me in case you did not wish to marry me.”
She opened her purse, pulled out a bank draft and held it toward him. “Father wasn’t happy to write this check, but he has seen the error of his ways.”
Mark slowly took it from her. “Won’t your father be upset?”
She grinned, giving him a glimpse of a woman he hadn’t seen before. “I’m sure he will be, but I’m his only child. He’ll forgive me in time. I’m on my way to my cousin’s wedding and since you won’t have me, I will be able to have a wedding of my own soon. My late husband’s best friend, Anthony, has offered for me. Now I’m free to say yes. My father can’t interfere or forbid it. Anthony is a good man, but he isn’t fond of my father. He wants us to move to Colorado.”
“Will you go?”
“Happily. Daed will be free to visit us whenever he likes.”
Mark shook his head. “What would you have done if I had agreed to marry you?”
“Spent my life being a good wife to you.”
“We would have both been miserable.”
“Maybe, maybe not. Only God knows that, but He had a better plan for us. I have to get going. I have a driver waiting for me.”
Mark stood and held out his hand. “I wish you every happiness.”
She leaned in and kissed his cheek. “I pray the same for you. What will you do now?”
He would give Helen some time, but he was going to speak to her before she left Bowmans Crossing. “I’m going to follow my heart and see where it and God lead me.”