‘I’m sorry, I can’t tell you what’s been going on. I’m not allowed to tell anyone,’ I whispered hoarsely. An hour after my fright in the fossil room, we were sitting next to the open front door. Robeen sat patiently beside me, looking confused but at the same time sympathetic.

‘Is it something to do with your celephet?’

I nodded. I could admit that much.

‘Wow. I’m glad mine didn’t work after all. Sorry. I mean, I’ve never seen anyone look so scared. You were petrified. Are you sure you’re all right now?’

I nodded but I was so cold that I couldn’t stop my teeth from chattering. Outside, the bright sunshine was marred by the masses of flies, a grey mist even on the sunniest days. I wanted to walk outside, fling back my head and soak up some of that sunshine, warm my bones and rid myself of the darkness, but of course, that was impossible.

After a while, she said, ‘It’s pointless my asking you any more, I suppose?’

I nodded.

‘Well, if Doc Carter’s putting you through this, I wish he’d stop.’

‘Thanks,’ I said. ‘But it’s something I have to do, you don’t understand.’ It was an odd echo of that fraught conversation we’d had about her cello practice on board the Byd, which seemed so long ago now.

Even at that moment I knew I would go back in there and carry on. Why? Because the worst fear of all was my fear of losing this new important sense of myself. I had travelled all those millions of miles to empathise with the unknown and get an answer to the biggest question facing our species, to further our Great Quest and Purpose. I had to succeed or I was nothing and didn’t deserve my place on board the mission.

‘You’re brave, Bree,’ said Robeen. ‘If I’d had the kind of fright you’ve just had, I wouldn’t want to do it, whatever “it” is.’

I felt suspicious. Was Robeen trying to put me off, jealous of my getting all the attention again? But no, her eyes were full of worry and she wasn’t that good an actress; with Robeen what you saw was what you got. The mission hadn’t been a success for her, but at least those endless hours she’d spent as Nisien’s sidekick seemed to have worn down her big-headedness. She’d changed for the better, it seemed.

‘Thank you,’ I said.

‘What for?’

‘Just what you said then. It helps.’

She smiled, sort of. It was still a bit of a non-committal, Robeenesque smile but it was genuine. There was a lovely person in there somewhere, all it needed was a bit of encouragement.

‘Oh, I’ve just remembered something.’ I hesitated, in case what I was about to say turned out to be stupid. In the end I couldn’t not tell her. ‘You haven’t done much cello practice in a while?’

‘The virtual cello’s worse than useless.’ She frowned. ‘I’ve stopped playing altogether.’

‘Well, I don’t know if this suggestion’s any good, but when I was here with Halley the other day, we found a room which has loads of ancient musical instruments in it and I’m sure I spotted a cello. I know I did because I grabbed it when I fell over. I nearly put my foot through it.’

‘Really?’ Her eyes lit up.

‘It’s very old,’ I said. ‘I don’t know if it actually works. We were in a rush so I couldn’t stop for much of a look. I don’t know a lot about cellos.’ Now I’d told her, I was certain there’d be something wrong with it.

‘Do you think … would you feel well enough to show me?’ she asked.

I couldn’t face going through the fossil room quite yet but there was another way to get to the rooms beyond. ‘Of course, let’s go now.’

Let’s go and get this over with, I thought, even though it meant stepping back into the dark.

Robeen was delighted. For the first time I could remember, a huge smile radiated across her face, impossible to miss even in the dark cluttered room. She’d dug the cello from the jumble of other instruments and amazingly, it still had all its strings intact, protected so Robeen assured me, by a special coating still used by cellists on Mars. She thought it was probably still playable. Rummaging around she found a bow then between us, we lugged the instrument through several adjacent rooms and back to the hall.

She sat on the edge of one of the statue plinths and used her tile to tune the strings. They were so old, I still expected them to snap when she turned the pegs but, they didn’t. The very first touches of the bow upon the strings, even when they weren’t fully in tune, were magical, like a voice from another age. The deep, rich notes echoed around the hall. Robeen was soon utterly absorbed in tuning the instrument. I retreated, sat on the floor and leant against a marble column. She began to play properly and the most beautiful, resonant music swirled around the hall, filling the entire space. It was a rich, glowing kind of sound, so beautiful it took my breath away and I marvelled how at one Robeen seemed with the instrument, as though they were old friends with a deep understanding between them. The magnificent sound of the real old cello was completely different to the flat and tinny virtual instrument she’d been forced to use on the Byd and for the first time I could appreciate her frustration. I sat there listening for a long, long time while Robeen played on and when she stopped, her face was wet with tears, yet she smiled. The music seemed to have unlocked some part of her, the human part.

We stayed in the hall for the rest of the day, her playing and me listening. I was glad there was something to distract me from thinking about what awaited me back in Origins of Earth, but I also felt guilty for not going straight back in there. I decided I would speak to Doc Carter. I just needed some extra reassurance that there was no physical danger.

On the way back to Base, Robeen was, if anything, more quiet than usual, but she also seemed perfectly happy and at peace for the first time since I’d known her. I was glad.

I went straight to Doc Carter. He was exactly where I expected to find him, analysing my celephet’s data on the holoscreen. He spun around, delighted to see me.

‘Today has been the best!’ He grabbed me by the arms and for a moment I thought he was going to kiss me.

‘I couldn’t stay in the room very long,’ I said, catching my breath. ‘In the room where … the things happen.’

‘Doesn’t matter,’ he said. ‘I’ve actually managed to animate a short clip. We’re getting somewhere at last!’

‘Doc Carter,’ I began.

‘No, in a minute, just look…’ In his excitement, he’d forgotten how much I’d hated the face the day before. He tapped his tile and before I could offer any kind of protest, up it came again: the face, the one I’d seen that afternoon, hanging in the air right in front of me. This time its lips were moving slightly, forming themselves into an ‘o’. Presumably the ‘o’ in ‘Go away’. The animation was on a loop and the awful face kept forming the shape of the letter over and over again. What was this cruelty? Why was I being shown this again?

‘Stop it.’ I backed away. ‘I don’t want to see it! I saw it in the Museum. It was there, right in front of me. It said, “Go away.” That’s what it said. “Go away”.’

And if ‘Go away’ was the answer to the celephet’s question, how was that going to help us with our dragomansk problem?

Doc Carter was stunned. He tapped his tile hastily and the face reverted to flickering graphs. ‘It appeared to you this time? That face appeared… You’re certain you didn’t imagine it?’

‘Of course not!’ I was furious.

Doc Carter sat down heavily on his chair as though the breath had been knocked out of him. He ran his fingers through his hair then tipped his head back and swivelled this way and that with what I took to be joy. ‘This is just phenomenal. My celephet, my invention! It’s working better than, well, I could ever have imagined.’ He bit his lower lip and closed his eyes.

Wait a moment, I thought. It’s brilliant? The celephet is brilliant? What had happened to You’re brilliant, Bree?

‘I was scared. It appeared this close to me.’ I put my hand in front of my face to illustrate just how close. ‘Actually, no, I wasn’t just scared, I was terrified, nearly out of my wits. If Robeen hadn’t been there…’

‘You didn’t tell her?’

‘No! I mean, naturally she wondered why I was screaming my head off but I managed not to tell her.’

‘Good.’

‘Doc Carter, I need to know I’m not in any danger. It felt like I was. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to sleep again after seeing that … thing.’

‘Oh, Bree.’ He got up, took me by the arm and guided me to his seat. I eyed the graphs on the holoscreen dubiously as he leaned over me and practically purred like a domestic cat. ‘How many times do I have to tell you? You’re not in any danger. It’s an energy, that’s all, a residue in the air. It cannot hurt you. Now, you’ve been great and I just need you to carry on being great a little while longer. The celephet works so well on you.’

‘Because of…’

‘Because of your Empathy skills, yes, obviously.’

I just needed to hear him say it again.

‘At this rate, in a few days we’ll have it: the dragomansk’s genetic code and then these deadly creatures will be history. Think how famous we’ll be back home, Bree, think what we’ll have achieved.’

‘I really was terrified.’ I didn’t think he was taking my feelings into consideration at all.

‘But you’re a brave girl,’ he said. ‘I’m relying on you to keep the bravery up a little longer. Let the celephet do its work. You’re not in any danger, I promise. Go back to the Museum with Robeen tomorrow and do exactly what you did today. Exactly the same, right? I’ll make sure your poems get plastered all over the walls of Cardiff if that’s what you want. People will be reading your fine poems as they walk to work. Just hang on a little longer, Bree, that’s all I ask, a little longer!’

What choice did I have? I had to agree. In a way I was like Robeen. She and her newly found cello were made for one another and it seemed as though me and my celephet were the same. Well, it wasn’t exactly my celephet, of course. It was Doc Carter’s invention.

I awoke in the night in the middle of a bad dream. It didn’t seem like one of my usual nightmares, although I couldn’t remember much about it, but it had left me with a horrible, lingering unease. I couldn’t get back to sleep and although I still felt drained by the day’s events, I couldn’t just lie there listening to Robeen’s steady breathing and envying her blissful sleep. I decided to go and wake Halley. Fair’s fair, I thought, he woke me that first night. I was desperate to talk and he was the only one I could talk to, the only one beside Doc Carter.

I crept along the corridor and as I approached, the door of Halley and Nisien’s bedroom drew back without a sound. Halley’s bed was nearer the door. It was empty, the bedclothes hanging off the edge of the bed as though he’d left in a hurry. If Halley couldn’t sleep either, that was perfect: the two of us could while away the hours chatting, maybe go up to the common room and gaze at the moonlit view.

There weren’t many places he could have gone so I began searching as quietly as possible with only the blue emergency lights for company. When I stepped into the third-floor corridor, I heard voices and recognised them as Halley and Doc Carter’s. They were coming from Doc Carter’s room. A light was showing but the door was closed. When I realised the two of them were in an argument I stopped. Doc Carter’s voice rose and fell sharply as though he was struggling to restrain himself. For an SSO scientist to be scrapping with a mere student was unheard of, but I guessed what it was about. Halley had miscalculated wildly, thinking he could plead his case to return to the Museum with me while Doc Carter was still furious about the canal incident. I couldn’t hear what they were saying from where I stood near the stairwell so I edged my way along the wall until I reached the door, taking care not to trigger the sensor to open it. They were speaking more softly now and I could only make out the occasional word.

‘…impossible, your behaviour … dangerous … no alternative…’ said Doc Carter.

‘Trust me … contribute … work on the dragomansk project…’ Halley countered.

Poor Halley, Doc Carter wasn’t budging. I would have more success in a couple of days’ time, especially if I promised to keep a close eye on Halley and make sure he didn’t get up to any more stupid stunts. Why hadn’t Halley left this to me? I was sure I could get the Doc to do anything now. I didn’t feel comfortable eavesdropping and was just about to head back to the stairwell when something Halley said stopped me.

‘…if I tell Bree the real reason?’

Alert now, I strained to hear more. I didn’t have to wait long before the argument escalated again. Before my perfect bubble of happiness burst.

‘So you’d tell her, would you?’ Doc Carter was enraged and trying in vain to keep a hold of himself. He sounded like a recording of someone shouting with the volume turned halfway down. ‘Tell her and jeopardise everything?’

‘Yes,’ Halley retorted. ‘If you don’t let me back out there, I’ll tell her.’

‘That’s blackmail,’ said Doc Carter.

‘Call it what you like.’

‘And how do you think she’ll take it, Halley? How do you think your friend is going to feel when you tell her she was chosen for this mission because she was just plain stupid? Because I required a lesser intellect that wouldn’t fight the celephet and block it? The weaker the brain the better for this particular job and hers has been perfect. Do you really think she’s going to thank you for telling her that?’

I didn’t hear Halley’s reply. My head was swimming. Here it was, the real truth at last; the awful worm of truth writhing around in the rotten apple of lies that they’d fed me. Hadn’t I always known it, deep down? Hadn’t I always known how fundamentally stupid I was? I felt faint. Doc Carter carried on and on, grinding home the truth almost as though he knew that I was standing outside and it was giving him some kind of sadistic pleasure.

‘At the moment, she’s willing to comply. We only need a few more days’ data, I’m absolutely sure of that. And it’s perfect. She’s perfect!’ He laughed unpleasantly. He’d obviously got the better of Halley and was enjoying the fact that he’d cut him down to size. ‘There’s no need to tell her any more than I have. She thinks these amazing “empathy skills” of hers are helping the celephet work. I mean really, she does. It’s priceless.’

‘You should see the poems she writes, they’re really good,’ protested Halley.

‘I don’t care about her damn poems, what have they got to do with it?’

‘She’s not as stupid as you think.’

‘Then why’s the celephet working as well as it is, eh? The channels through her mind are like a clear highway. The celephet’s working because it’s unimpeded by the slightest intellect. A trained monkey might have done just as well.’

I slid down the wall, silent tears slipping down my cheeks.

‘You’re afraid if I tell her, she won’t help you anymore,’ said Halley.

‘Now, look!’ Doc Carter switched to sounding angry again. ‘Let me remind you why you’re on this mission. You’re no grade A mega-starred student yourself. It was only the fact that you were willing to befriend Bree and spy on her for me that earned you your place. And the girl just does as she’s asked so you’ve actually had a very easy job. She won’t like finding out about that either, will she? More to the point, you ruin my experiment now and I will ruin your life, Halley. Not just here but back at school too. You’d better stop and think about that.’

Something slammed into something, maybe a fist against a table, and I scrambled to my feet and made it round the corner before the door to Carter’s room opened and Halley came storming past. He didn’t see me but for a split second I saw him in profile. His features were so strained, he didn’t look like himself at all. But why would that surprise me? The Halley I knew was gone forever. The Halley I knew had never really existed.

I had to get away but where could I go? I didn’t want to risk meeting Halley on the stairs. After checking that Carter wasn’t about to emerge from his room, I crossed the corridor and headed for the back stairwell. I made it down to our corridor and was thankful to find it empty.

I dressed quickly, feeling as though I was going to be sick. I didn’t know what time it was but outside the moon and stars glittered in the space-black sky. All I knew was that I had to get out of the building and away from everyone before I cracked up completely.

How many rules was I breaking, taking a class one and going off by myself in the middle of the night? Did it matter? Before starting off, I saw that the dim light was still on in the Doc’s room on the third floor. He’d forgive me whatever I did, there’d be no punishments for me. He’d act a bit annoyed, then pat me on the head and tell me what a clever girl I was. What had he said? A trained monkey could have done just as well?

I set off, driving fast. When a single dragomansk appeared overhead I didn’t stop, I simply ignored it and fortunately it ignored me. I was heading for the only place I could go where I could be alone and let go of the feelings that were boiling inside me. I headed for the canals.

I cruised along until I found the cul-de-sac where Robeen and I had sat that afternoon watching butterflies. I retracted the roof and pulled off my visor and hood. Then I let go, unable to hold on any longer. I could howl my head off, there was no one to hear besides the canal’s watchful, hidden inhabitants. They wouldn’t tell.

I didn’t know which was worse: knowing the real reason I’d been chosen for the mission or the knowledge that Halley had betrayed me. All that time, his friendship had been nothing but an act. I’d fallen for it so easily. I was stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

As my crying subsided into heaving sobs, I became more aware of my surroundings. The canal was very different at night. I turned the amphibical 180 degrees so I was facing the junction, with the giant tree root blockade behind me. The air was cooler than in the daytime and there were fewer insects on the wing but the sound of chirruping bugs echoed loudly in the enclosed space. The moon was bright and a few silvery shards of light broke through the canopy and reflected on the dark wavelets slapping against the roots and walls of the buildings. Every so often a gust of wind swept down the passageway.

My insides feeling completely hollowed out, I climbed shakily from the vehicle and balanced on one of the roots, something I’d never attempted before. I was still crying, not really knowing what I was doing. As I stood there, gripping the tree with my fingertips and with my boots slithering about on the moss, I wished Doc Carter could see me. I could break as many rules as I liked, couldn’t I? I jumped into the water and waded out into the middle of the canal. It was hard work but I got a long way, as far as the main Queen Street junction. I sat on another root and thought about my situation, or tried to.

The only small thing I had on my side was that Carter and Halley didn’t know I knew the truth. I’d have to return to Base and get back into bed before anyone realised I was gone. I lifted my hair and ran my finger over the hated celephet which was thoroughly embedded in my skin. When I pressed down hard I could just feel the flimsy edge of it. With my thumbnail, I picked at the bottom. I sat there picking for a good, long time until it felt sore, but to my awful delight, a small area did feel looser. I could snag my thumbnail under it ever so slightly. When I pulled the nail away, it was sticky with blood.

Even as upset as I was, I didn’t underestimate the seriousness of what I’d just done. Covering the celephet with my hair, I decided it was time I returned to Base.