“Boy, you’re in a rotten mood,” Felicity muttered.
“Yeah, well, I’m allowed to be!” Reiner groused. “Why didn’t you tell me about this before?”
“I did! This morning on the way to school, I specifically said I needed some lingerie. But you were cranky then, too. Guess I can run around without underpants or go fishing in the swimming pool. Who knows what I might find.”
He shot her a venomous look. “I'm goin’ to work on my book.”
“I need clothes.”
“Well, we can get them tomorrow! Nothin’s open now.”
“Because you waited too long.”
“Stick that lip out any farther—”
“Yah, yah, yah.” She made a face and slithered off to her bedroom.
He smacked his forehead against the refrigerator. Somewhere back in his gray matter, he vaguely remembered the conversation with Felicity this morning, but he’d been in no condition to listen when he’d picked her up for school.
Blowing out a breath, he resigned himself to the fact that, lately, he was a complete and utter failure at everything. He hadn’t even fed Felicity tonight.
He glanced toward the office where his manuscript waited. His overdue manuscript. The heck with it! He grabbed his car keys.
Twenty minutes later, he braked in front of his garage, armed with a four-topping pizza and a video the acne-faced clerk promised a thirteen-year-old girl would love. Time to repair what he could. They’d eat, watch a movie, and he’d write after she went to bed.
He reached the top step, and the door flew open. Felicity threw her arms around his waist. “I’m sorry, Uncle Reiner. I acted like a poop.”
He kissed the top of her head and handed her the pizza. “No, baby doll, I had a lot on my mind. I was the poop.”
She grinned. “Okay!”
Laughing, he tugged a strand of purple hair. “You’re bad.”
“What video did you get?”
Before he could answer, she said, “Why don’t we take this over to Ms. McMichaels? Share.”
“No way!”
“Uncle Reiner, you two are worse than kids. You had a fight, didn’t you?”
“No.”
“Did to.”
“We had a difference of opinion. I’m reasonable, and she’s insane.” He shrugged.
“Yep. A fight.” She took the pizza from him. “Let’s go. You can kiss and make up.”
“I don’t want to.”
“Yeah, right. That’s why you’ve been so ugly all day.”
He stood in the doorway and watched as she walked to his car and got in, waving for him to hurry up.
Fudge!
Danny’d just finished telling Katie Sara about how he and his best buddy Tommy hoped to be on the same football team in the fall when the doorbell rang. She glanced at the clock. Too soon for his parents to be here, unless they’d changed their minds and decided to come for him early, and too late for most people to visit.
Her heart thumped erratically in her chest. Only one person in Paradox made a habit of coming to her door late at night.
“You okay?” Danny asked.
“Absolutely.” She grinned at him. “Be back in a jiffy.” As she walked to the door, she caught a flash of red parked out front and knew she hadn’t caught a break. Panic set in. She couldn’t open the door, couldn’t let him walk in on Danny. Not like this. Both father and son deserved better.
The doorbell rang again.
“Katie Sara?” Danny called.
“Yeah. I’m getting it.” Shoot, her hand shook as she opened the door a crack. “Reiner, I’m busy. Go away.”
He didn’t look happy to be standing on her doorstep. “That’s what I told her, but she wouldn’t listen.”
Then she saw Felicity.
“Hi, Katie Sara.”
She swung the door open but caught Reiner’s arm. “I need to talk to you. Now. Outside. Felicity, why don’t you sit down in the living room for a minute, and—”
Too late.
Felicity, galumphing ahead of Reiner, had already headed into the kitchen. She stopped, reversed, then peeked around the door again. “Holy Toledo!”
Holy Toledo was right, Katie Sara thought. She couldn’t have said it better.
Felicity looked from Katie Sara to Reiner and back to Katie Sara. “Whoa, I guess this is one of those complications you taught us about in class, huh?”
Reiner frowned at Katie Sara, then started toward the kitchen.
“No!” She grabbed his arm. “Talk to me first!”
Two steps into the room, he came to a dead stop, then went white as a sheet.
“Oh, my God,” she whispered. Her eyes teared up and shot to his.
There she met ice-cold fury.
“Reiner—” Her hand went to her throat as his eyes devoured the boy from where they stood in the hallway.
A quiet curse ripped the air as his face turned to granite. Thankfully, Danny’d turned on the TV and hadn’t heard them.
Katie Sara felt everything inside her die. Her fault. Totally.
“Felicity.” His voice was steel. “Go into the kitchen with the pizza. Don’t say a word about me. You hear?”
“Do I ever!”
Keeping his back to Katie Sara, he stepped further away from the kitchen.
They heard Felicity introduce herself to Danny as one of Katie Sara’s students and offer him pizza.
“Reiner—”
“Do you have any idea how I’m feelin’ right now?”
“I can only guess.” Katie Sara walked outside with him following, around back, away from the house to have the talk she’d put off too long. Rhonda had warned her.
A blow straight to his solar plexus.
Fury swept through him. As she walked ahead of him, he could barely keep his hands off that sweet little neck of hers. If he so much as touched her, they might have to lock him up. For murder!
Felicity thought he’d been in a rotten mood before. Hah! Tip of the iceberg!
To think that a few weeks ago, he’d left Hilton Head figuring he’d be bored senseless inside of twenty-four hours. What a joke. His life had been turned inside-out and upside-down.
“Reiner, I know what you’re thinking, but if you’ll—”
Rage gushed from every pore. “You have no idea what I’m thinkin’, so don’t feed me that. Believe me, I don’t need it. Not now. And especially not from you, of all people!” He practically spit out the words. “Always so above and beyond the rest of us.”
She collapsed onto her old swing, her knees pulled up to her chest, forehead resting on them. He leaned against a tree and crossed his arms.
“For the first couple years, I stared at every baby, every toddler wondering if he was ours.” She drew a shaky breath. “One day, a young mother with a little boy actually asked to be moved to a different table at a restaurant, and I realized how obsessive I’d become.”
She swiped at her eyes. “I tucked the memory away kind of like a mother does with the outfit her baby wears home from the hospital. To be taken out once in a while and stroked longingly, reaching for a past she can’t reclaim.”
In the soft evening light, Katie Sara turned her tear-streaked face to his. “What mother hasn’t longed to hold her child as he’d once been, an infant safe in her arms? Innocent of all the world’s injustices, unhurt by life.”
A sob tore from her. “I never got to experience that with our son, but he’s always been with me.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” His voice was rough.
She buried her face in her hands.
“Katie Sara, look at me.” He yanked her hands away from her face. “Didn’t you think I had the right to know?”
She opened her mouth to blame her mother, then closed it again. She couldn’t. The blame was hers. She stared out into her yard at the sweet-smelling flowers, at the large shade trees that threw shadows over the lawn.
An early firefly sparked. Magic, she’d always thought when she’d seen one. But tonight didn’t feel magical.
Then she laughed.
Reiner growled.
“I’m sorry.” She rubbed her forehead. “I was thinking about fireflies.”
“You’ve gone crazy.”
“No. Actually, I’ve never felt saner. I’ve always believed fireflies were magic, and now they’ve brought my son to me.”
“Our son.” A muscle ticked in his jaw. “Brought our son to us.”
“Yes. I’m sorry. Our son.”
“I’m not surprised you didn’t remember that. Obviously, you never did figure I had any right to him, and I seriously doubt a firefly brought him.”
“No. A bus did. An eleven-year-old kid on a bus by himself.”
His whole body ached—with the need to rage, with a desperation to understand, with a desire to know and be part of his son’s life. Despair overwhelmed him. This drove the final nail in the coffin of his doomed relationship with Katie Sara.
The path had been strewn with hurdles, but he thought he’d done a pretty commendable job of clearing them. True, there hadn’t been a lot of air between himself and some of those barriers, but with enough persistence, he’d eventually made it over every one.
This, though? He really didn’t see how he could leap over this. Worse. He wasn’t sure he wanted to.
Maybe Katie Sara had been right. Maybe they needed to get on with getting on.
Then she patted the swing beside her. “Sit down, Reiner. Please. I owe you an apology. Don’t make me break my neck staring up at you.”
He dropped down, instantly sorry as her perfume wrapped itself around him. Scooting away from her, he ignored her wounded eyes.
“I don’t expect you to forgive me, Reiner, but I’m sorrier than I can ever say. You must hate me.”
It was as if somebody had crawled inside his body and drawn a chalk line down the center. Half of him ached for Katie Sara, for what she’d gone through, was going through now. The other half despised her for crawling off like a goddamn thief and stealing both his heart and his baby without a word.
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde had taken up residence inside his head. Inside his heart. Inside his body.
He stared at this woman who sat beside him, this woman he had loved. Still loved? He honestly didn’t know.
When they went back inside, Katie Sara said, “Danny, there’s someone I’d like you to meet.”
Reiner didn’t miss the hitch in her voice or the light in Danny’s eyes.
The boy swallowed. “You’re Reiner Broderick, aren’t you?”
“Yeah.” He cleared his throat and looked into a face that was the mirror image of his own at that age.
“Me and my dad used to watch you play football every week.” The kid’s face lit up. “You were awesome!”
The smile slid. “Too bad ’bout your shoulder.”
“Yeah, things happen.”
Felicity had gone upstairs to the restroom, so Katie Sara drew a deep breath and jumped in. The time would never be better.
“Danny, there’s something else you need to know. I already spoke with your mom and dad, and they’ve given me permission to share this with you.” She looked at Reiner, who stared at her through hooded lids, his expression giving away nothing. “Danny, Reiner’s your birth father.”
“Oh, boy.” Felicity dropped onto the floor just inside the room.
If he was the kid’s father—and no doubt he was—shouldn’t he throw his arms around him or something, Reiner thought? Say something.
Instead, he and the kid stared at each other, neither blinking.
“You’re my birth father?” Danny finally asked.
“Yeah.”
He nodded toward Felicity. “Is she my sister? You kept her, but not me?” Hurt filled his huge green eyes.
“No,” Felicity answered quickly. “I’m his niece. My folks are overseas.”
“Oh, yeah, there was an interview in Sports Illustrated about you taking care of your niece because your brother was going back to the army, but...” He shrugged. “I didn’t think...I mean...” His lower lip trembled. “You don’t want me here, do you?”
“Danny, that’s not it at all.” Reiner jumped to his feet. “I just... That is... This is kind of a surprise to me.” He turned toward Felicity.
“Don’t look at me. I’m just a kid.”
“You must be hungry,” Reiner said, grasping at straws.
“Actually, Felicity and I already ate most of your pizza.”
“Oh, well, good. Katie Sara.” He glared at her. “Do you want a piece?”
He pulled up to the counter and bit into a slice of what could have been cardboard.
Reiner imagined the scene, Katie Sara’s reaction when she went to the door to find Danny standing there. But then, it wouldn’t have been quite the surprise for her, would it? After all, she knew they’d had a baby, a baby she’d never told him about.
Anger, spiked with hurt and bewilderment, stormed through him. Why hadn’t she told him? He’d have loved their baby. Danny might look like him, but he had Katie Sara’s green eyes, and from the set of his jaw, her stubbornness.
He opened his mouth.
Felicity was quick, read the intent in his eyes. “Fudge?” she asked.
“Yeah. Double fudge,” he grumbled.
Danny frowned at the two of them.
“Kind of a private joke. At my expense.” Reiner tipped his head back and pinched the bridge of his nose.
“She’s pretty, isn’t she?” Danny asked.
Reiner opened one eye, then the other to stare at the young boy. His son. “Who?”
“Katie Sara.”
“Oh, yeah, she is one beautiful woman.”
“Why aren’t you two married?”
The ’Vette’s top down, wind blowing through their hair, Reiner and Felicity drove home. The twilight deepened, and he turned off the radio. Too many thoughts swirled in his head. Danny’s parents had picked him up and he, Katie Sara, and Felicity had stood on the walk, waving good-bye for the night.
He’d listened in amazement tonight as his son—his son!—filled him in on his young life. He played football as a wide receiver. He’d have to see what he could do about that. The kid needed to be a quarterback. That’s where the power and glory were.
Danny also played the sax. Imagine that. He got decent grades, too. It sounded as though Barbara and Bryce Wellner had done one heck of a job raising him.
But it should have been him and Katie Sara bringing up this boy, watching him grow. They should have been there when he ripped into packages on Christmas morning. When he blew out his first birthday candle, took his first steps, tossed his first football. Reiner’s hands tightened on the steering wheel.
He had an eleven-year-old son. He and Katie Sara. An intelligent, beautiful boy.
In that instant, Reiner realized his life would never, ever be the same. Forever, a piece of his heart would belong to Danny. He’d root for his successes, cry for his failures, and worry about him during times of trouble.
Damn! He was a father.
Sleep eluded Katie Sara. She played the video in her head over and over, rewound it and played it yet again, changing the way she and her mother had handled things nearly twelve years ago. At two in the morning she got up and reorganized her kitchen cupboards. She had to stay busy.
What would she say to Danny when they met again this morning? How did you spend the one day you had in this lifetime with your child? How did you make sure he understood that, while you’d never interfere or call or get in touch, you would always, always be there if he needed you? Could an eleven-year-old comprehend that? Not see it as abandonment?
As the sun crept in through the newly repaired French doors off the kitchen, she curled up on the family room loveseat. Chia tucked himself into the crook of her arm.
“Just for a couple of minutes, baby. Then we need to get up and shower.” She yawned. “We have to look our best today. Our little boy’s coming to breakfast.”
Someone was shaking her shoulder. Katie Sara struggled out of a deep sleep. Her eyes flickered open to see Reiner standing over her.
“Gosh, I must’ve drifted off.”
As she pushed herself to a sitting position, Chia waved his tail and hopped onto the back of the loveseat, out of harm’s way.
“How’d you—”
“You’re still not careful about hidin’ this key.” He held it up. “After what happened the other night, I’d think you’d have learned.”
“You’re right.” Her mouth tasted like two-day old coffee, her clothes were wrinkled within an inch of their lives, and her hair... She raked her fingers through the wild mass, trying to restore some semblance of order to it.
Turning to the counter, he rummaged through her cabinets till he found coffee. He measured it and water into her pot.
His back to her, he said, “Let’s get this straight, right up front. I didn’t come here today for you. I came for the boy.”
His words stung. Cold eyes met hers, and she nodded.
“He’s leavin’ tomorrow. I think we can manage to play nice that long, don’t you?”
Again, she nodded.
“For Christ’s sake, Katie Sara, can’t you talk?”
“Yes,” she croaked. She cleared her sleep-heavy voice and picked at a button on her blouse. “Reiner, I don’t know what to say to you. Sorry is so inadequate. I—”
“Damn right it’s inadequate!” He moved closer. “I don’t think you get it, Ace.”
Reiner towered over her. His voice hadn’t risen in volume. But the tone, the expression on his face, in his eyes all spelled danger. This was the Reiner she’d seen on Monday Night Football. The crazy man who ranted and raved till everyone on the team got the job done. The man who made sports-page headlines with his escapades on the field and off.
All this anger, this outrage he now directed at her. And rightly so.
“Here I was, dumb and stupid, thinking about you and me having a forever together.”
She blinked and stood up.
“When Pammie showed up yesterday—”
“Pammie?”
“Yeah, Pammie!” He crawled in her face. “Another woman. Imagine that. I wasn’t a monk, so sue me. Make me a horse-hair shirt!”
“I never expected you to—”
“Good.” He jabbed a finger at the middle of her wrinkled blouse. “I sent Pammie packin’ without so much as a how-do-you-do because nobody else can hold a candle to you. I’d realized you were the only one for me.”
Her throat ached with unshed tears.
“And then this.” He stepped so close she felt his heat.
She took a step back. His hand shot out, snaked around her waist. “Don’t run away. Don’t you dare run away. You already did that, Katie Sara.”
She flinched at the truth.
“You ran away with our baby growin’ inside you. You gave me no say in the matter. Then you waltzed back into my life, and let me hold you, let me make love with you again.” His voice quieted. “Let me think we had a chance.”
“No, Reiner. I’m guilty of everything else, but I told you we had no future.”
“Oh, yeah. That’s right. You did. A couple of times.” His voice took on a contemptuous quality. One she hadn’t heard before, one she didn’t like. “But you couldn’t quite find the time to tell me why.”
“What was I supposed to do, Reiner? Stand in the middle of the parking lot outside city hall that first night while we were fighting and say, oh, by the way, we have a son?”
“Yeah.” He hesitated. “Well, no. Not right then.”
“So maybe at the fair?” Her brows shot up. “I could have tapped Gina on the shoulder, asked to borrow you for a minute so I could tell you we’d had a child.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
“Then how about—”
“How about the night I came to your house? Asked if you’d had an abortion?”
“Yes,” she answered softly. “That would have been the right time. I failed you that night.”
Her unexpected words stopped him.
“I just—” She wrung her hands. “That day—the funeral—It’s no excuse, but—”
“Stop.”
“No, I was wrong. I did try. Several times. I finally told Rhonda the other night.”
His head snapped up. “She didn’t know?”
“No one did. My mother kept everything under wraps. Rhonda was furious with me.”
“That makes two of us.”
“I know.” Her eyes closed, then reopened. “It happened so long ago, Reiner. Nothing could be undone. Sometimes it’s better—”
“To what? Let sleepin’ dogs lie?” His open palm slapped down on the table. “I have a right to decide what’s best for me.”
“Stop that!”
“Oh, yeah. Our son might come to the door and hear us fightin’. Real concerned about him, aren’t you? Guess that slipped my mind.” His eyes traveled her disheveled form. “Go get cleaned up. I’d hate for Danny to see his mama lookin’ like you do.”
Blindly, she rushed upstairs, away from him and his hurtful words.
After her shower, she found a note in the middle of her bed. Reiner had gone home. He’d collect Felicity and feed her, then they’d be over.
With a heavy heart, she dressed.
It rose like the phoenix, however, when Danny showed up for the day. The way she figured it, his parents might be the most wonderful people on Earth to share him with Reiner and herself today. She’d bless them forever for this.
Because now, right at this moment, her son sat in her cheerful kitchen, a smile as big as Texas on his face.
“Where’s...”
“Reiner?”
“Yeah.”
“He came by this morning but went back home to pick up Felicity.”
He nodded. “I like her.”
“Me, too. They’ll be here soon. Would you like some breakfast?”
“I’m starved!”
And he proved it. Katie Sara had forgotten what bottomless pits young boys were. He had a thousand questions, and, while he ate, she tried to answer them all as honestly as possible.
“Anything else?”
“Can you tell me about my real grandparents?”
“Sure. In fact, I’ll give you a few pictures to take with you if you want.” She thought of the box on the top shelf of her closet. Maybe the time had come to open it.
Danny jumped up and grabbed the backpack he’d brought downstairs with him. “Felicity gave me a picture last night. She had it in her purse.” Digging out the prom photo of Katie Sara and Reiner, he held it out.
Katie Sara gaped. Taking it, she laughed. “Where did she get this?”
“She said she found it in a box in Auntie somebody’s attic.”
“Auntie Belham’s.”
“Yeah. She figured it—” He stopped, red-faced.
“What?”
“Felicity figured somebody took this right about the time that I was, ah, made.” His blush deepened.
Oh, Felicity. “She’s right, Danny.”
Before they could say more, a knock sounded at the door, and Katie Sara handed the photo back to Danny. He tucked it away quickly as Felicity and Reiner announced themselves and walked on back to the kitchen.
Reiner and Katie Sara exchanged glances over the kids’ heads, a silent promise of truce. Today they’d fight on the same side; no one would go down under friendly fire.
“You two want breakfast?”
“No, thanks,” Felicity answered sweetly. “We’ve had our daily charcoal allotment for the day.”
“Reiner cooked again?”
“Yep. Burned bacon and toast.”
“How were the eggs?” Katie Sara asked.
Felicity snickered.
“There’s no rule says you have to have eggs with bacon,” he said.
“No, I guess not.”
Danny, who’d been listening intently asked, “Why wouldn’t you, though?”
Picking up several pens from the counter, Felicity tossed them in the air, juggling, dropping, and tossing again.
Reiner’s scowl deepened.
“You juggled the eggs and broke them?” Katie Sara asked.
“Bar trick I learned.” He glanced at Danny and grimaced. “I was doin’ fine till Smarty-Pants turned that rat loose, and he ran straight at me.”
“Should have heard him.” She giggled. “Big brave football player screamed like a woman, and eggs flew all over the place. I don’t know how we’ll clean them off the ceiling.”
“I did not scream like a woman.”
“Believe me, you did. I was there.”
“You’re not even goin’ to get charred bacon and toast tomorrow. It’ll be dry bread and water for you.”
Her eyes grew wide, and she put her hand dramatically to her throat. “I am so afraid. Whatever shall I do?” She looked toward Danny, whose head had been swiveling back and forth, following the conversation. “Will you help me? Can I run away with you?”
His laughter rolled over the grown-ups, a balm to injured souls.
“And there are no eggs on the ceilin’, either,” Reiner said. “If you’re smart, Danny, you won’t believe a word this one says.” He walked to the counter to touch the coffee pot. “Still warm?”
She nodded. “Just made a fresh pot.”
“Hey, kids, while I’m drinkin’ my coffee, why don’t you take Chia for a walk in the backyard?”
Felicity sneered. “You can’t walk a cat.”
“Oh. Then take him out and pretend he’s a floor mat and lay on him or somethin’.”
Katie Sara gasped.
“Just kiddin’.”
Danny grinned. “Come on, Chia.” He opened the door and stepped outside. The cat, purring and wrapping himself around Danny’s legs till the boy nearly tripped, sauntered into the yard with the two kids.
Reiner crossed the room and shut the door. “I left this mornin’ not sure whether or not I could come back here today.”
She held her breath. “I can appreciate that.”
“I had to, though. I couldn’t let Danny down.”
She nodded. What could she say?
“You’re lookin’ better,” he said. “A lot better.”
“Thanks. Amazing what a shower will do. Seeing my—our son for the first time last night really threw me for a loop.”
“You saw him before.”
“No. They thought it best that I not see him.” She couldn’t read the expression on his face. “If you’re disgusted with what I did, if you don’t like what you see, then don’t look at me.”
Glaring at her, he dropped his hands to the table so hard the breakfast dishes rattled. “I have every right to feel this way.”
“Yes,” she said softly. “We’ve already agreed on that.”
“Sit down, Ace. We’re goin’ to have a busy day, and we need to set up a game plan before the kids come back.”
She dropped onto a chair across from him.
“You’ve known for eleven years, almost twelve, that you’re a mother. I’ve known for less than a day I’m a dad. Big difference.”
“Right again. It’s a huge difference.”
“The whole idea takes a little gettin’ used to.”
She nodded.
“We have to decide how we’re goin’ to handle this today. At play practice.”
“His parents will drive him over. They’ll come in with him to watch, maybe even help a little. I explained that we’re raising money for the Senior Citizens. They’re good people, Reiner.”
“They are.” His gaze fixed on hers. “If we could tell the world—I mean, I know we can’t. There’s the legal contract you signed stating you wouldn’t, but even more important, it would hurt Danny and his parents, and they don’t deserve that. That aside, though, if we could come clean about the whole thing right here, right now, what would you do, Katie Sara?”
“It’s something that would impact us both, Reiner, along with Danny and the Wellners. You’d have to be concerned with the publicity. If the tabloids got hold of this—”
He turned the air blue.
Shocked by his language, she sputtered, “Reiner!”
“I don’t care! Understand? Screw the public. This is my life, my son.” He frowned at her. “I’m askin’ what you would do, Ace, if it was up to you? If you only had to consider you and Danny.”
She lifted her chin. “I’d tell the whole world he’s ours. At seventeen, I was forced to hide that fact. I wouldn’t make that choice today.”
“My feelings exactly.”