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I decide to call my mom on my way home. I go back to visit once or twice every year. A few years ago I tried to get Mom to move out here, but she insists on living in Iowa because she’s a country girl.
The phone rings a few times and Mom picks up.
“Hello?”
“Hi Mom!” I know it’s dangerous to drive and talk on the phone at the same time, but I know I’ll be in this L.A. traffic for a while; and I’m speaking via Bluetooth just to be safe. Talking to Mom on the phone will help pass time.
“How are you dear?”
“Great Mom. How about you? How’s everything going?”
“Just fine,” she replies. I hear a cough through the phone.
“Are you sure? I hear a cough. Are you sick Mom?” I grill her.
“No honey. It’s just a little cough. Stop worrying.”
“I can’t help it Mom. Have you thought any more about my proposal...for you to come out here? I’m much more comfortable if you’re here with me Mom. That way I’ll know for sure you’re ok.”
Mom didn’t have to tell me, but I know she’s sick. Her cough seems to get worse every time I call her. I just haven’t been able to get her to admit it to me.
If she agrees to move out here, I’ll have peace of mind. I know she’s close and I can help her with anything she needs.
“Honey, I’m not moving out to the big city. I just can’t stand not having my horses and Daisy, you know that.” Mom is so stubborn!
“I know Mother,” I mumble.
“What’s new at work honey? How’s Mr. Jones?” Mom is quick to change the subject.
“He’s well Mom. He’s retiring next month. His son is taking over the company—officially—today,” I groan at that last sentence.
“You don’t sound happy about it,” she states.
“Of course not Mom. I love working for Mr. Jones. He’s been so good to me. He’s like the father I never had.”
Mom stays silent.
“Mom, I didn’t mean it like that,” I tell her through the phone.
“I know honey.” I can hear her voice creak a little.
Mom has been trying to put up a tough front all these years. I wish she could be here with me so I could take care of her for once.
“The point is, Mr. Jones talks about John all the time and today I finally met him. He’s nothing like I’ve imagined. He’s such a douche.”
“Well honey, you shouldn’t judge a book by...” Mom starts, but I cut her short.
“I know that saying Mom, but he’s judging me already. He hates me. I know it. I think if it weren’t for Mr. Jones, he would’ve already fired me on the spot. He thinks I’m incompetent. I don’t know why he hates me so much!”
Mom tries to console me. “Give it time dear. He’ll come around and discover that you’re a gem.”
“Thanks Mom. I know you’re saying that because you’re my mother. It’s your job to say things like that!”
“Seriously honey. You’ll be fine. You’ve done so well for yourself, just keep your head up. I’m proud of you,” Mom says.
Our conversation goes on for a bit. We talk about her horses and about Daisy, her dog. I ask about Old Man Hank, the neighbor across the street.
There was time when I thought Old Man Hank and Mom had a thing, but turns out, Hank was just very kind to Mom.
After my dad left, Mom never dated. She never gave me her reasoning and I never asked, but I knew she didn’t want to risk bringing another lowlife man into our lives.
Finally home. I tell Mom I love her and hang up the phone. I’ll try again to convince her to move out her. If there’s a way for me to bring her horses and Daisy then she might just agree with me.
I go about making dinner and eat it by myself in silence. This is a normal night for me. Sometimes I go out with Nancy, but I enjoy having the evening by myself. It’s my chance to unwind.
Everyone is always on the go go go that no ever stops to just listen to the silence now and again. You never know what you might hear if you listen carefully. Despite the fact that I live in the city, sometimes I hear crickets. Reminds me of Iowa.
As I get ready for bed, I find Ray’s toothbrush. Stupid jerk! Ray and I broke up a few months ago; we’d dated for almost two years.
I loved Ray, until I found him in our bed with another woman. In our bed!
“But, you don’t pay any attention to me anymore,” was his excuse.
I should just be like Mom. I don’t need a man in my life to make it complete. They just make life difficult....just like John will make mine.
Oh god, I’m already dreading work tomorrow. This time Mr. Jones will not be there, and that means John can say and do whatever he wants.
I toss Ray’s toothbrush in the trash and go to bed. Tomorrow’s the start of a new adventure I suppose.