Trying to come to terms with what I’ve just done, I stare out the window, speechless. My phone rings in my purse. It’s Victor. Carmen takes the phone and throws it out the window. She squeezes my hand. “I have everything under control. Trust me.” She pulls me closer to her and holds me as I bury my head in her shoulders. My tears flow freely.
It then dawns on me. I hold my head up and say, “What about Lucia and Bella? What about Savannah? What about my clothes? What will I do? What have I done?” Panic arises all over again.
“What would you like to do? Do you trust me?”
“I don’t know what I would like to do. I don’t know if I trust you. I haven’t seen you in seven years. You’ve changed.”
“Do you believe that? Or are you just saying that because you’re afraid? The only thing that’s changed about me is my physical appearance. I’m still the same Carmen that loved you with all my heart and soul back then. I’m still me. Trust me when I tell you I have everything under control. Have I ever steered you in the wrong direction?” I shake my head no. “Ok then. I never will. Your well-being means more to me than anything in the world. I’ve yet to move on from you or date anyone else. I’ve waited for you. So just relax and trust me?”
I lay my head in her lap and cry my eyes out. My Lucia, my Bella, what will they think. I don’t want them to feel like I left them. With drenched eyes, I look up at Carmen. She rubs my hair as I drift. Unable to keep my eyes open, I allow myself to fall into a deep sleep.
I wake up, I’m lying in a bed with my clothes off and cover pulled up to my shoulders. Where am I? The purple and white room is beautiful. There’s a balcony that overlooks an ocean. Long, purple, sheer curtains cover the windows and the balcony door. It reminds me of my mother’s condo in Chicago, but with a splash of purple here and there. I remove the covers and breathe in the ocean. I notice a picture on the wall. It’s an old picture of me sitting in between Carmen’s legs at a football game. The more I inspect the room, the more pictures I see. On another wall there’s a picture of me from two years ago, on the red carpet of the 2010 Grammy’s. As I swing my feet around, I hear someone coming.
“I see you’re finally awake.” Carmen enters and sits next to me.
“Where am I?”
She stands and extends her hand. “Come.”
I stand and put on the robe that’s lying on the bed. She takes my hand and leads me down a beautiful, all white, swivel staircase. When we get to the bottom, she leads me through another room that’s filled with all white furniture and gray sheer curtains. The aroma of food is familiar. We go to the kitchen and I immediately fall to my knees, surprised at what I see. Lucia is standing over the stove cooking while Bella and Savannah are both sitting at the table. Skylar is sitting on the patio, and… wait, is that Casey? Carmen helps me up and leads me to the table. Lucia comes to hug me and Bella throws her arms around the both of us.
“If her love you, her will be there… her here.” Lucia whispers in my ear, reminding me of her exact words from several years prior.
I look at Savannah, and she smiles and embraces me with a hug. “I hopped on the jet as soon as you left for lunch.”
I turn to Carmen, who is joined by Skylar and Casey. “Yo! What up, Mel!” That damn Skylar has not changed a bit. “You rememba Casey, don’t you?”
Casey comes to hug me. “Melody.” She can’t fully embrace me like everyone else, because there’s an enormous belly stopping her in her tracks. I look down; she rubs her belly and stands next to Skylar. “This was our third attempt. We lost the first two within the first trimester, but this time, we are fine. Three more months and Baby Sky Blue will be here.”
Speechless, I point to Skylar. “That’s right, Mel. Neva thought I’d be the one to settle down, huh? Well, believe it. Casey and I been together for five years and married for three. As soon as they started legalizing the shit, we jumped right on it. Ain’t that right, Babe.” She throws her arm around Casey, and all Casey does is smile like a kid in a candy store. I guess it wasn’t so impossible after all for Skylar to rid her whoreish ways.
“Come.” Carmen takes my hand and leads me to the balcony. Everyone else stays in the house except for Lucia. She brings me a plate of food that I know I won’t be able to eat. She knows it too, but brings it anyway.
“What’s going on?” Finally, the words come out. I’m in tears as usual, and she wipes them away with her thumb.
“Now do you trust me?”
“How?”
“This is love. This is my way of showing you just how much I loved you then and I love you now. I didn’t want to take you away from the people you love most, like your mother took you away from me. I knew all about your grades, and I wanted to do whatever to make it all better for you. Your mother contacted me and ordered that I never speak to you again. Malik… eventually I found out about him too.” She wipes my tears again.
“After I saw your picture, I hired a Private Investigator to locate you. Remember that phone call to your house asking for Melody Moore? That was a PI. He knew Malik and gave me his contact number. Only thing is, I didn’t know it was that Malik until we started talking. He told me all about you, your mother, your father, your husband, where I could find you, Lucia, everything, and everybody. After I got all the information, I immediately wanted to come take you away, but decided that wouldn’t have been an excellent move, so I came up with a plan. The first thing Malik suggested is that I reached out to Lucia, so I did. Barely able to understand her English, it was Bella that did all the talking, and she informed me that Lucia had been looking for me too. She said she knew your heart was with me and she needed to figure out a way to show you what true love really is. Lucia expressed how she loved you unconditionally—regardless of your sexual preference—and how she wanted you to be happy. She told me she didn’t think you were happy with Victor and that you were just tolerating him. She and I then began plotting on how to take you away from unhappiness.” She pauses. “Are you following me?” I nod yes. “Are you upset with us?” I shake my head no. “Good, because I don’t want you disturbed. I want you to understand.” She then leads me down the steps of the balcony, onto the white sandy beach. We walk close to the water and she sits and pulls me down with her.
“Breathe.” I take a deep breath in and close my eyes, wishing not to wake up from what I think is a dream. When I open them, I’m still sitting on the beach with my first love. “Are you ready for me to finish?”
“Please.”
“I was still in Chicago and Lucia insisted that I move to Miami, so I did. I was connected with Victor through one of my friends that’s in the music industry. That same friend recommended Mark to Victor. As time went on, Lucia and I put our money together to purchase and remodel this home just for you. We knew we couldn’t make any moves until we had a haven to bring you to. We filled the closet with all of your things from your penthouse. You don’t have to worry about him going there to look for you because we have cleaned all of your belongings out and it’s empty. It’s up to you if you want to sell it or not. Do you know where you are?”
“No. Where?”
“Cuba.” I buck my eyes. “Skylar and Casey moved here to make sure the remodeling and decorating was being done how Lucia and I wanted. There’s a lot about me you never got to know, but singing was a hobby of mine in college. I never did it around you because I was too shy and it’s not something I want to do long term. It’s just something I did to get what I want and need in my life, which is you. You know Brown is not my last name, so all the information I gave Victor was not accurate. The rest is history.” She lowers her head.
“There were days when I would watch you come and go and become more eager to hold you. There were days I would cry myself to sleep because I couldn’t breathe the same air as you. Now that I have you, I never want to let you go. Will you stay with me? Will you allow me to introduce you to love? True love, unconditional love. If you say no, I’ll walk away, only because I love you.” Carmen takes my left hand, removes my ring, and throws it in the ocean. “This is not love. Love should not and cannot be bought.” I do or say nothing to stop her. She looks right through me with those beautiful hazel brown eyes of hers. She doesn’t blink and neither do I. Tears spill from her eyes and then mine. Neither of us move. We sit facing each other and allow the waves to wash up our tears. She then looks into the water and takes a deep breath. I fixate my eyes on this beautiful woman who has shown me more love in one day than anyone has ever shown me in my twenty-eight years of living. Well, except for Lucia. I wipe her tears and then my own.
“Do you have anything to say?” Moments pass as she places her hand on mine.
“I want to lie down.” I stand and reach for her. She looks surprised and takes my hand as she stands with me. She leads me to the house and into the bedroom. She removes my robe and I crawl back into bed.
“I’ll come back to check on you in a little.”
“Lay with me.”
Carmen stands at the foot of the king-sized bed for several minutes. She then removes her pants and shirt—revealing her laced underwear clinging to her perfect body—and rests her caramel silk body behind me. Her hands are soft as she runs her fingers down my arm and intertwines her fingers in mine. I turn to hold her, and she mirrors my actions. We lie holding each other as all my worriers sail away.