Introduction
It isn’t considered eavesdropping when someone is talking loud enough for all to hear. Considering the tone of voice and volume level, the middle-aged man’s conversation was probably overheard by almost everybody at the market. Standing beside a cart displaying fresh, locally grown vegetables, he waxed poetically down a long list of grievances. His obvious displeasure specifically focused on the faulty ways of the younger generation. “The beardless youth . . . does not foresee what is useful, squandering his money,” he openly scolded.1
Now before we let our minds imagine such strong condemnation cast in the direction of a fresh-faced twentysomething purchasing herb-infused organic honey from a farm-to-fork hydroponic horticulturalist, let’s stop and consider the actual date and place. This is not a trendy pop-up urban farmers’ market featuring live music, face painters, and tech-savvy vendors equipped with wireless credit card readers. Quite the opposite. This is Rome, first century BC. The poet and Roman senator Quintus Horatius Flaccus, popularly known today as just Horace, is upset with the lack of judgment and few capabilities of his day’s youth.
If you are thinking this first-century generational disapproval echoes what many are saying about today’s twenty-first-century youth, you are correct. The number of people who believe their children and grandchildren are falling far short of their potential has never been greater. Or has it?
Centuries Past
Throughout the ages, it seems nearly all elders have had something disapproving to say about the misguided ways of those following, not so closely, in their footsteps. Three hundred years before Roman aristocrats were selling their kids short, the Greek philosopher and scientist Aristotle voiced his concerns about the arrogances of the young.
They think they know everything, and are always quite sure about it.2
Step back another hundred years and we find that the great Socrates felt similarly. Cited by his student Plato, Socrates is said to have believed this:
The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.3
Moving east and forward over a thousand years to the 1300s, the Japanese monk Yoshida Kenkō penned his concerns in Tsurezuregusa (Essays in Idleness):
Modern fashions seem to keep on growing more and more debased. . . . The ordinary spoken language has also steadily coarsened. People used to say, “raise the carriage shafts” or “trim the lamp wick,” but people today say, “raise it” or “trim it.” When they should say, “Let the men of the palace staff stand forth!” they say, “Torches! Let’s have some light!”4
Jump ahead to Great Britain in 1624, when British preacher and author Thomas Barnes published The Wise-Man’s Forecast against the Evill Time:
Youth were never more sawcie, yea never more savagely saucie. . . . The ancient are scorned, the honourable are contemned, the magistrate is not dreaded.5
Old English aside, it doesn’t sound like Minister Barnes held much hope for the “sawcie” (insolent, impudent, presumptuous, defiant) young people of his time.
In 1771 a letter was printed in Town and Country stating,
Whither are the manly vigor and athletic appearance of our forefathers flown? Can these be their legitimate heirs? Surely, no; a race of effeminate, self-admiring, emaciated fribbles can never have descended in a direct line from the heroes of Potiers and Agincourt.6
The 1900s saw little deviation from the opinion that youthful insufficiency hadn’t changed much in over 2,000 years. It seems history was once again repeating itself.
1904
Never has youth been exposed to such dangers of both perversion and arrest as in our own land and day. Increasing urban life with its temptations, prematurities, sedentary occupations, and passive stimuli just when an active life is most needed, early emancipation and a lessening sense for both duty and discipline . . .7
1925
We defy anyone who goes about with his eyes open to deny that there is, as never before, an attitude on the part of young folk which is best described as grossly thoughtless, rude, and utterly selfish.8
1951
Many [young people] were so pampered nowadays that they had forgotten that there was such a thing as walking, and they made automatically for the buses. . . . Unless they did something, the future for walking was very poor indeed.9
1984
A few [thirty-five-year-old friends] just now are leaving their parents’ nest. Many friends are getting married or having a baby for the first time. They aren’t switching occupations, because they have finally landed a “meaningful” career—perhaps after a decade of hopscotching jobs in search of an identity. They’re doing the kinds of things our society used to expect from 25-year-olds.10
1993
What really distinguishes this generation from those before it is that it’s the first generation in American history to live so well and complain so bitterly about it.11
Then it happened! We ushered in a new millennium. After the artist formally known as Prince led a global sing-along to “1999,” we all held our breath to see if the Y2K apocalypse would come. Thankfully it turned out to be a real digital dud. Needing to scrutinize something new, many cultural doomsdayers turned their attention from the Millennium bug to question the ways and values of the twenty-first century’s freshest faces. With the same zeal as previous naysayers, they saw little hope for the new century’s Millennials and soon-to-be Gen Z.
2001 and Later . . .
They have trouble making decisions. They would rather hike in the Himalayas than climb a corporate ladder. They have few heroes, no anthems, no style to call their own. They crave entertainment, but their attention span is as short as one zap of a TV dial.12
They are the most threatening and exciting generation since the baby boomers brought about social revolution, not because they’re trying to take over the Establishment but because they’re growing up without one.13
Whether it’s jobs, property, or just the sheer towering unfairness of the world, millennial complainants are everywhere, ready to give you a rundown of everything their generation has been stiffed on. In the way that we once had The Greatest Generation, we now have The Whiniest Generation. But really, the only place they’ve been short-changed compared to us Xers or even the Boomers is property.14
They’re out-of-touch hipsters who spend too much on coffee and too little on facial hair care. Many are spoiled, entitled, or both.15
Millennials are lazy and think basic tasks are beneath them.16
And just like that, here we are. A few turns of the calendar year and we appear to be confronted by the same dilemma generations before us struggled to address. How are our kids going to make it in the new world?
Many fact-citing experts and opinionated skeptics alike have concluded that much of the next generation is lost. With their addiction to technology, unrealistic expectations, and acts of entitlement, they’re falling asleep on the job—literally. That, or they are arriving on the job whenever is most convenient, texting while “working,” and really only wanting part-time work for full-time pay. Faced with the burdens of runaway school debt, outrageous home prices, and disproportionate income-to-living standards and expectations, they possess little hope of rising above the quality of life their parents enjoyed. At least that’s what they’re being told by those who believe they’re squandering their futures and burdening the rest of us responsible types.
Well, I am not one of those pessimistic people and this is not one of those doom-and-gloom books.
Limitless Potential
I believe in the great worth and limitless potential of our youth. This book is about coming alongside and guiding our tweens, teens, and twentysomethings in discovering and becoming all they were created to be. Those of us who believe in the greatness of the emerging generations are in good company. Just as history holds critics, so does it provide us with advocates who invested themselves deeply in the development of the next gen. Here are a few of my favorite examples:
First Century AD, East Asia
Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young.17
Paul of Tarsus encouraged his young delegate Timothy by entrusting him with instructions to live in such a way that others would follow the mature example of his speech, life, love, faith, and purity. That’s a lot of responsibility, and Paul believed young Timothy could handle it.
1825
How beautiful is youth! how bright it gleams
With its illusions, aspirations, dreams!
Book of Beginnings, Story without End,
Each maid a heroine, and each man a friend!
Aladdin’s Lamp, and Fortunatus’ Purse,
That holds the treasures of the universe!
All possibilities are in its hands,
No danger daunts it, and no foe withstands;
In its sublime audacity of faith,
“Be thou removed!” it to the mountain saith,
And with ambitious feet, secure and proud,
Ascends the ladder leaning on the cloud!18
This excerpt from the poem “Morituri Salutamus” was written and delivered by the American poet and educator Henry Wadsworth Longfellow for the fiftieth anniversary of his graduating class at Bowdoin College.
Our children are the rock on which our future will be built, our greatest asset as a nation. They will be the leaders of our country, the creators of our national wealth who care for and protect our people.19
South Africa’s President Nelson Mandela shared these words with the school he attended more than seventy years prior. As he delivered a dedication speech to celebrate the renewed and enhanced school building, President Mandela’s words were not intended to praise the brick and mortar but to laud the educating of the next generation of great leaders. The once-imprisoned anti-apartheid revolutionary who became a peace activist, philanthropist, and political leader focused his remarks on the significance of raising up “our greatest asset as a nation.”
2006
Age is foolish and forgetful when it underestimates youth.20
Author J. K. Rowling gave this line to the headmaster of Hogwarts, Albus Dumbledore. Though the tasks young Harry Potter faced appeared impossible, Dumbledore believed Harry would succeed because no one would have expected a youth to arrive at such a place. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince may be a fantasy novel, but J. K. Rowling’s belief in young people has inspired millions of readers of all ages.
Who did Apple praise in their 1997 ad campaign? The crazy ones! If the ad were longer, perhaps Paul, Henry, Nelson, and Joanne (that’s what the J in J. K. stands for) would also have been featured. They, too, were once considered misfits, rebels, troublemakers, and round pegs in square holes. You know, the crazy ones.
Paul of Tarsus—a religious rebel
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow—a foe of Edgar Allan Poe
Nelson Mandela—a political prisoner
J. K. Rowling—a single mother on welfare
Cast throughout history, they each believed that by investing in the youth of their day, they could send hope to the future. For their commitment to guiding young people forward in new ways, we recast them as geniuses. Geniuses just crazy enough to change the world.
Standing between today’s young people and a better tomorrow are millions of parents, educators, mentors, and community leaders. How we approach the responsibility and privilege of guiding the next generation will determine how they will remember us. Will we be known as the crazy ones who empowered change or the foolish ones who got in their way?
When we point our kids in the right direction, they won’t get lost as they grow older. This doesn’t mean they won’t step off course from time to time. In fact, most of life is a series of course corrections. What we adults must do effectively is accept the significant and fragile task of directing our children well. I say significant because their futures depend on it. I say fragile because it is easy to scare, and even impale, a young spirit.
So where shall we focus our attention? With countless lessons to teach and capabilities to develop in the next generation, the task of guiding them well can seem overwhelming at times. The constant flow of opportunities, problems, and decisions they face each day seems never ending. How do we address them all? We can’t. Instead, I’m going to share with you some invaluable resources that will help you prepare them to see the demands of life as challenges worth accepting. Here’s the thing about challenges. Our brains love a good challenge. You know what our brains hate? Threats.
There is a big difference between a challenge and a threat. One leads to good performance and the other to poor performance. I bet you don’t even have to guess which goes where.
Challenges
We humans are kind of odd when it comes to challenges. We love them. We thrive on them. We push our physical and mental limits with them. We take on challenges, conquer them, and then make up new ones to prove we can outperform the previous ones. No other species on earth regularly creates new and more challenging ways to push their limits. Only people. There’s nothing too difficult, too distant, too high, too deep, too far, too close, too new, too old, too much, or too little for us humans to handle. Whether it’s the dangers of extreme sports or space exploration, the fragility of saving a life or igniting a love life, the thrill of writing a good book or righting environmental wrongs, we’ve proven ourselves willing to take on and conquer any challenge. On one condition: we’re prepared.
Threats
We hate them. I mean we really, really hate to be threatened. So much so that our bodies and minds do some fascinating things when faced with a perceived threat. Ever heard of the fight-or-flight response? Of course you have, because you’ve personally experienced it. From a big dog to a tiny spider, a friendly prank to a family argument, situations we interpret as threatening flip an internal switch, triggering us to either ball up our fists or turn our feet and run! The fight-or-flight response is the brain telling the body, “This is the best way for us to survive a threat. Basically, we’re not prepared enough to ensure a win, but if we don’t do something, we’re done.”
See the difference between a challenge and a threat? A challenge is a competition. A threat is a conflict. A challenge is invigorating. A threat is frightening. We will accept a challenge with the expectation of succeeding. A threat comes with the fear of failure. We thrive in a challenge. We survive a threat.
What we will examine in the chapters to come are ways to prepare the emerging generation to see the demands of life as challenges rather than threats. To do this best, I’ve prepared some models—structural designs that represent patterns. Part of my job is to look for patterns that help explain what has been, is currently, and may occur in times to come. As an author, I do my best to present these patterns in ways you can easily understand and expand on throughout your life. Just be careful. By no means are the models in this book the only ones you’ll need to succeed. Life is way too complicated to be guided by any single set of written models. Yet in this book, I will share the patterns I believe can ready our youngest generation to take on the kind of challenges that only this next great generation will be prepared to handle.
“Okay,” you say. “What are we working with here?” Well, I believe that by effectively rethinking ways to prepare young people to face the demands of life’s “new normal,” they will accept and thrive in four challenges that lead them to do and be even better than us. Here are each of the four challenges, along with a short explanation.
Challenge 1 : BUILD BRIDGES
Construct ways to cross the growing gap between the generations.
Challenge 2 : PRACTICE STEWARDSHIP BEFORE LEADERSHIP
Demonstrate responsibility and more will be entrusted to your care.
Challenge 3 : TRANSFORM RAW TALENTS INTO VALUED STRENGTHS
Work to make the most of yourself.
Challenge 4 : LIVE WITH PURPOSE
Fulfill your vision, mission, and goals in life.
Each of these four challenges transcends the duration of a generation. Yet how different generations prepare for each challenge has changed significantly in recent years. As a sociologist, I’m fascinated with the shift in this trend, and I believe you will be too. As a parent of two members of the next generation, I’m devoted to sharing with my kids every advantage I can without turning them to the entitled dark side. By shining a light on these challenges, I aim to lift all our youth up so they can successfully and effectively pick up where my generation left off. In essence, may our ceiling be their floor. When we successfully guide them to do—and be—even better than us, they will become the Next Great Generation.