I didn’t get a lot of downtime, but when I did, I was addicted to reading those AITA stories. You know the ones. Am I the asshole?
They were blog posts where folks asked if they were the asshole in a situation. The poster would often go on to explain what happened in a long-winded, sometimes utterly ridiculous story, and a billion people would then comment and criticize and offer their POVs because the internet was a cesspool of self-righteous people hiding behind avatars, saying shit they didn’t have the balls to say in real life.
Whatever.
Everyone was entitled to whatever the fuck they wanted these days. I didn’t judge. I didn’t care. And it was just my guilty pleasure that I liked to read those fucking posts. They were entertaining as hell. And more often than not, they gave me a good, long laugh, one of those fully belly kinds, whenever life was throwing a curveball at me. Like today’s fuck-fest.
Nova fucking Harbor. Of all the fucking people in the world, I get told I was partnering with Nova Harbor on what was the biggest assignment of my career. Taking down the Global Human Alliance meant everything to me. Those fuckers were responsible for more misery than I cared to think about, but couldn’t get out of my brain if I tried. Not even with a scorching hot poker.
But the Face? Really? What had I ever done to anyone to deserve that kind of torture?
It was my fault. I’d fucked up with her from the first minute I’d met the unbelievably gorgeous woman. But it wasn’t like I was one of those guys in the AITA posts. You knew those dudes were the fucking asshole the second you started reading their whiny ass posts. They just could never admit it.
Now, normally, I knew I was the fucking asshole because I was. I meant that to my core. That's what I did. I was an agent for a secret government department that dealt with supernatural activity. Nobody paid me to be nice. They paid me to be efficient. They paid me for results.
So yeah, most of the time, I was the fucking asshole. But not this time. This time, the fucking asshole wasn’t me. It was the motherfucking Fates. They were the assholes! Why? Did you ask why? Well, the answer was fucking easy. Because out of all the women in the multiverse, those tricky motherfuckers paired me up with the Face.
Nova fucking Harbor was my fated mate. I only scented her once, but that was all it took for my Lion to make up his mind. The animal wanted her, but I couldn’t have her. For so many fucked up reasons, all of which would normally make me the asshole. But I wasn’t. I swear, it was not me this time.
It was them. Why the fuck would the Fates do this to us? Nova did not deserve this. I was not in control of who I wound up with. Didn’t they know that? They fucking had to. The Fates knew how we worked. Lion Shifter Prides operated in very tight circles. Big Cat Shifters were a lot less common than most other subspecies. Therefore, our breeding schedules were highly scientific.
Cooperation amongst Prides allowed for my kind to continue on this planet by making sure we had the best chances for successful breeding by genetic pairing. It was almost my turn to be matched with a female for the sole purpose of making cubs. I always wanted to be a father, but ever since I saw Nova, that plan had changed. I wanted to father young with her, not some faceless Lioness.
So the question was why? Why had the Fates paired me with the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, who was not only not a Lioness, but was also a fucking genius on top of being physically superb? The answer, I had no fucking idea. And that made them the assholes. The Fates. Not me.
Nova was so much better than anything I could have ever dreamed of. So much better than I deserved. And when I met her, I acted like a total ass. Basically accused her of exchanging favors for her new job. Yeah, that was something I really regretted. And every time I saw her since that day, I knew she remembered my cruelty and I knew she hated me for it. As if I needed a reason to feel even more like shit about myself.
How could I do that to her? I couldn’t forgive myself. I couldn’t make her forgive me. And maybe it was better that way. I still had an obligation to my Pride, to my people, to my fucking mother, who ran the whole damn breeding program.
Every single day was a test. Every minute, I struggled to resist the pull I felt to her. Nova Harbor. She was perfection personified. I tried to put in for a transfer once, thinking it would be easier, but I couldn’t do it. Even if I knew I could never have her, the idea of never seeing her again just didn’t sit well with me. So, for three years, I’d been her shadow. Her stalker. Secretly watching her when she didn’t know it.
She’d started using some sort of scent blocker almost immediately after our first encounter, and I regretted it so fucking much. The memory of her peppermint and rosemary fragrance was so damn precious to me. I wanted it again. Wanted to breathe her fragrance from the source, but I knew I didn’t deserve it. I knew I couldn't give into that desire.
The number of agents and DPCA workers I’d subtly and not so subtly warned off asking her out was getting higher and higher, but somehow Nova did not seem aware. She ran her own lab nowadays, and I was thrilled with her progress, but sad that she allowed my stupidity to stop her from forming any lasting friendships at work.
Gabe Goodman still worked with her, second only to Nova who ran her own lab. He was a decent guy, always good at providing me with information on her. He had a bro crush on me, had even given me a nickname with his former partner Drew. They called me Ashman, and I did my best to ignore it. I didn’t lead him on or use him. I let Gabe know exactly what our relationship was and would be. Work associates. Period.
Drew no longer worked with Nova, so he fell off my radar. There was a new intern, Steve Chamberlin, a Rabbit Shifter from upstate New York. He just finished grad school at Princeton and Nova scooped him up and brought him into the DPCA after reading his thesis on biological development and inheritance applied to gene theory. I read it myself, but doubted I understood more than half.
With no other recourse, I’d admired Nova from afar. For the past three years, like a fucking psycho, I watched, I listened, I collected every hint I could about her likes and dislikes. And I admired from afar, fuck, yes, I did. I admired Nova Harbor. I was even proud of her to some extent. Oh, I heard the naysayers. The ones who, like me at first, thought she got her job based on the fact that she was stunning.
I was embarrassed by my bad behavior and could only hope someday she would listen to my apologies and accept them. She was better than that, and she deserved better. Folks in the office called her the Face, but she was so much more than her appearance. And anytime I came within hearing range of anyone talking shit, well, I let them know that simply was not allowed. Ever since the first time I’d insulted her so badly, I tried to make it up to her by shutting down all the gossip and jibes.
Nova Harbor got her job based on merit. Not only that. My little Vixen was headhunted for this position. The higher ups sought her out because of her extensive knowledge and the impact her studies were making in the field of genetic research. The DPCA did well to hire her.
She ran a tight ship. She kept her lab personnel small, but efficient. They did more work in one year than the others put together. Nova was just that good. Her assistants enjoyed her leadership, and I couldn’t imagine looking at her all day was a hardship either. But that kind of thinking was exactly what she didn’t need.
Still, guilt assailed me every time she turned down an invitation for an after work drink or dinner. Guilt and satisfaction. My Lion was pretty proprietary over the brilliant Snow Fox. Anyone who wanted to date her would do well to keep that shit to himself. What could I say? I stayed away from her because it was better for both of us, but I wasn’t a fucking saint. Gabe was good for telling me when one agent or another came sniffing around her lab, and then I did my thing in quiet afterwards. I’d corner them and let them know how much the DPCA frowned upon intra-office fraternization.
It was bullshit. But it worked. No one was getting near Nova while I was around. It was fucked up of me, but I wasn’t looking too deep into that slightly obsessive aspect of my personality.
Fine. I was smitten. There, I admitted it. I was Lion enough to acknowledge my unhealthy fixation on the woman who pretty much hated my fucking guts. But, really, who could blame me?
Wickedly smart. Incomparably beautiful. Sexy little Snow Fox.
I pressed down on my growing cock as I took the street that would lead me to her door. Thoughts of Nova filled my brain, but they always did, so I wasn’t distracted. When Mother handed me this assignment and said I’d need to get a woman to work undercover with me, her name came out of my mouth before I could stop myself.
“Nova Harbor? She’s a scientist,” Mother stated the obvious.
“Yep. That means she’ll know how to counter this fucking drug GHA has been shooting up victims with,” I’d said, as if that was why I’d picked her.
It was true, of course. She had been working with the samples from the victims we’d recovered. I didn’t know how GHA planned to get away with what they were trying. I mean, how did you wipe out an entire species one injection at a time? But whatever. That wasn’t my purview. I just needed to shut them down.
Did I like the idea of putting Nova near GHA? No. Not one fucking bit. But she was a Shifter, and I wouldn’t underestimate her. Besides, I would never let a single hair on her head be hurt. My Lion would go fucking ballistic. I might not be able to claim her, but I could work with her, keep her safe, and maybe sate some of my need to be near her.
This was my one shot to satisfy my beast’s need and my human side’s curiosity about Nova Harbor. I knew in the end I would have to walk away from her, knowing somebody else would have her someday. Dealing with that was going to suck. But I would take what I could get. Not because I was the asshole, but because the Fates were the assholes. I should be fucking canonized for managing to stay away from her, knowing I had nothing to give her.
When we first met, I’d played a part. I was rude and cruel. But I didn’t want to be rude or cruel anymore. I wanted to get to know her. I wanted to see what I would spend the rest of my life missing. Why? Maybe I was a sadist.
I sure as fuck must be, I thought as I rolled into her driveway. I pulled up to the door and forced myself to stay in the car. This wasn’t a fucking date. We were on assignment. I couldn’t allow myself to forget that. I honked the horn, and seconds later she came outside.
Fucking. Hell.
I knew she was beautiful. Hell. Everyone did. But this was my first time seeing her dressed up, like really dressed up, for a night on the town. My cock thumped against my jeans and my Lion froze inside me. Nova Harbor was a goddess. She was draped in silver and black, the fabric shimmered as it swirled around her long, luscious limbs.
She was at least half a foot shorter than me, which put her about five nine, tall for a woman. Her legs were long, shapely, her thighs just right. She had a perfect hourglass shape. More Monroe than Mansfield, but with that same 50s era classic beauty. It was her midnight hair, crystalline blue eyes, red lips, and creamy pale skin that made her so jaw dropping.
That was why they called her the Face. She usually wore an average amount of makeup, and her clothes were always fashionable and neat, far as I could tell. Tonight she’d gone all out. Her lips were painted red, and she had smoky liner and glittery shadow framing her eyes. That damn halter top was going to give me fits, as I wondered if she wore anything underneath.
Geezus. She looked hot as fuck. I adjusted my dick quickly and feigned annoyance as she opened the door to my car, sliding into the passenger seat as if she’d done it a hundred times.
“Ready, Hotshot?” I asked, keeping my gaze carefully averted.
“I guess. Mother didn’t explain much, just said we were going to set a trap,” she said.
“That’s right. We’re going to Quenched,” I said, naming a new bar that was trending amongst supes and, apparently, the GHA.
“Quenched? Where is that?”
“About a half hour north. Whispers are it’s a favorite place for GHA scouts.”
“Scouts?”
“The guys who sniff out Shifters and target them to be kidnapped.”
“Okay,” she said, and nodded, her small hands fidgeted with the bag sitting in her lap.
“Hey, I won’t let anything happen to you,” I felt inclined to add.
“Good,” she said. “I didn’t expect you would, Agent Donnelly.”
“Asher,” I corrected.
“What?”
“Call me Asher. No one will believe we’re a couple of civilians out for a night on the town if you call me Agent Donnelly.”
“Right,” she murmured and nodded her head. “Okay then, I will call you Asher.”
Fuck. Me. Hearing my name on her lips was even better than I imagined. I wanted to hear it under different circumstances and damn the repercussions. Good thing she hated me, otherwise I’d never be able to stick to my guns. I couldn’t have Nova for keeps. But maybe, maybe I could have her for now. Just the possibility had my Lion standing at attention.
Rrrrr.