9
The Student-Teacher Relationship
Without Students, you wouldn’t be a teacher. Your relationship with the people who take your class is precious, and it’s critical to your ability to help them with yoga. I’d bet the reason you want to teach is precisely because one or more teachers had a direct positive effect on your life. Excellent! Now you have the chance to pay it forward. Just as your success depends on having a clear vision for your class, your weekly schedule, and your career, so does it depend on taking some time to pinpoint exactly the kind of relationship you want to have with your students. The exercises in this chapter will help.
make your students feel welcome: creating an inclusive classroom
As you develop your class, seek to promote an accepting, inclusive classroom where everyone feels safe and welcome. A good place to start is to avoid talking about burning calories or making up for indiscretions by sweating them out. At the same time, encourage your students to know that their bodies are capable and resilient. Instead of telling students to execute a pose in a particular way to avoid injury, you can say instead that it’s often done this way for comfort, or ease, or to fine-tune the amount of stress that goes into a joint. (Stress is not the enemy; excessive stress is.) Keep your language positive.
Be careful to notice if you are assigning value to achieving a certain outcome. For example, do you say, “The ultimate expression of the pose is …” If so, why? There are myriad reasons why someone wouldn’t be able to take a particular option in any given pose. Some of these are structural, related to the proportion of their bones or the operation of their unique joints—and these will never change. Some are functional, meaning the body hasn’t been asked to take a certain movement or hasn’t been conditioned to do a particular action. These can change in time, but just because they can, should they?
I recognize that certain styles of yoga subscribe to the idea that there is one “right” way to perform a pose, and that approach filters through the classroom. If you teach in one of these styles, you can explain to your students why things are done in a particular way.
When offering options to students, listen carefully to your language. Weight-lifting coaches might talk about progressions and regressions of an exercise, whereas in yoga we sometimes hear “beginner” or “advanced.” But these presume that the “deeper” expression of a pose is more advanced; that’s not necessarily true. Instead of “harder” or “easier,” I use the terms “spicier” and “sweeter,” thinking that casting choices in terms of an individual palate is kinder and allows each student to determine what suits their tastes from one moment to the next.
To keep your classroom inclusive, you should also consider a variety of bodies and learning styles. The length of someone’s arm bones relative to their torso can dictate whether they can “successfully” execute a movement without props. Think of staff pose: Some bodies with long torsos can sit in this L shape with arms reaching down and not have palms on the floor; others with long arms can press their palms into the floor and float their seats off the mat. This isn’t something that will change with practice; it is what it is. If it suits your class (and staff pose is a pretty good opportunity to do this), take a moment to compare bodies to find the outliers, then show ways to add props so that each student can feel what you are teaching, regardless of body proportion. Making a lesson of these structural differences will free students to meet their bodies where and as they are.
Some students learn by hearing. They will listen to your words and know what to do. Some learn by watching, and they will need to see a demonstration to understand what you are suggesting. Some learn by moving; for these students, practice and manual assists—with consent—will work best. Be sure your class accommodates all learning styles so that every student can understand and participate.
managing student behavior in class
The vast majority of your students will be wonderful in class. They come to yoga to turn inward, and once they understand the studio etiquette and value the practice, they are dream students. You teach people how to treat you. Once you have established clear boundaries and expectations, 95 percent of your interactions with students will be a joy.
But problems do arise. Below, we will think through how to deal with these common situations. When you find students creating trouble in class, don’t be shy in asking for help, even if you feel confident that you can handle the situation on your own. Any issue you’ve encountered has likely already been addressed at your gym or studio—and sadly, often the problem has already been mentioned to the offending student. Ask the manager or owner for advice and support on how to handle this. Ask your colleagues, too, but be discreet: There’s no need to name names or shame students. Your peers may have useful strategies and ideas for you. You aren’t alone.
Late Arrivals
Often the students who arrive in class late are the ones with special needs: They’re new, or stressed from traffic, or just generally not up to speed on how things operate in your classroom. And you’re at a disadvantage, because, once class begins, you’re unable to have a regular conversation with them.
When possible, get help from the desk clerk or management. They may hold late arrivals until the class has chanted om or begun to move. If you don’t have someone to serve as a gatekeeper, signage can be good: “Late arrivals, please enter quietly,” or “Late arrivals, please do not enter until the class has begun to move.” (Or work around the issue with “This door is locked once class is in session, to protect its integrity. See you next time!”) As you fill the room, it’s smart to leave space by the door for late arrivals. If needed, you can give them some hand signals to let them know what to do—wave and smile and point to a free spot for them to set up, or raise a finger to indicate they should stand by the door while you mouth “Wait one minute!”
Students Who Would Be Best Served Elsewhere
The number one reason students sign up for a class is schedule: The class is at a time when they can make it. That sometimes means students are in a class that doesn’t match their energy level or experience. You’ll often have students in class who would do better in a different class—newbies who should check out gentle yoga or a basics series before coming to your dynamic flow class, show-offs (gotta call them what they are!) who are going off-book and distracting your students who came for a mellow class. It’s a kindness both to them and to your other students if you can find a gentle way to suggest they try out another class. You might spin this in a flattering way: “Your practice is beautiful! I think you’ll love X class with Y teacher on Z-day mornings. I worry that this class wasn’t the best use of your time, and I’m really grateful you came.” Some of these will self-select. Others will keep coming, at which point you’ll need to do a case-by-case assessment of whether to keep them or to express yourself more strongly.
Students Talking/Adjusting Each Other
Students who know each other—parents and children, best friends, romantic partners—can find it tough to focus on their own practice when they are side by side. This is especially true when one of the pair loves yoga and is trying to convince the other how great it is. You might find a student cuing another, or even offering adjustments. When you do, read the situation with empathy, then determine whether to intervene.
If you do think doing something is in order, it can be to lavish extra attention on the newer student (perhaps with a “I’ve got this; you can focus on your own practice” to the more experienced student). If the vibe in the class is casual enough, you can ask, “Do I need to separate you two?” If all else fails, use the polite yoga code for “Shush it!”: “Close your mouth and breathe through your nose.”
Students Distracting the Room
Student distractions come in several forms. Students generally distract other students in the room by aggravating the senses of smell, sound, and sight. If a student offends someone else’s sense of touch, they should be booted from the room, and let’s all hope no one is tasting anyone else in the room!
Smells. Strong smells usually fall into one of these three categories: perfume, smoke, and body odor. Perfume is the simplest to handle. You can make an announcement that since yoga involves deep breathing and people have scent sensitivities, it’s common practice to come to class fragrance-free. If someone comes in smelling like they just passed by the department store fragrance counters, you can encourage them to use a wet towel to sponge off what they can.
Smoke is more insidious; it lingers in clothing and in hair. This is a tough one, as developing a regular mindfulness and movement practice can help smokers on the path to quitting. If someone smells strongly of smoke, it’s worth reaching out to say, “I notice you might live with a smoker. Can you help me think of ways to reduce the smell for the benefit of the whole class? Would it be helpful to store a set of yoga clothes in your car or at the studio for you to change into?” Asking the student to help come up with a solution can keep them feeling included and involved instead of excluded and judged.
Toughest of all is the student with strong body odor. There are many permutations of this issue, from the student who comes in clean but develops a strong smell when the class heats up, to a student who seems to willfully disregard societal norms of hygiene. In the former case, there may not be much to be done; in the latter, you’ll need to have a discussion. Again, ask the student to help you find a solution.
Sounds. Deep breathing can be loud, and a gentle sigh sometimes morphs into an ecstatic moan. Some classes and studios actively promote this; others don’t! Know the culture where you’re teaching, so that you can understand what students expect a class to sound like. If you have a single student repeatedly moaning and groaning, it might be time to say, “Let’s get out all our sounds with a few rounds of lion’s breath,” or “This should feel good, it shouldn’t hurt.”
If a student begins snoring during savasana, quietly move over to them and gently squeeze their ankles. That’s usually enough to pull them out of sleep. Sometimes they will even stop upon your approach.
If you are teaching a live-streaming class, it generally makes sense to mute all students as you begin. Be sure that, as the host/organizer, you know how to use the software to mute, if someone—or their pet or child—starts to make distracting noises.
Sights. Students are in class for their own practice, and modifications are critical to each student’s receiving what they need from your class. But someone going completely rogue may distract the whole class and can even be dangerous. (Have you been in a class where a renegade handstander randomly started kicking up in the middle of the room? I have; it is not a relaxing experience for the students!) You’ll need to decide where to draw the line between letting such a student have their own experience and letting them derail the class.
This is likely a game-time decision. Some people just want attention! Others have valid reasons for their modifications. Lately, I’ve said, “You’re free to go off-book as long as you don’t interfere with your neighbors.”
Combos. Students entering late or leaving class early combine distracting sounds and sights. Recognizing that the culture in some regions and styles is that savasana is optional and left to the student’s discretion, I suggest you emphasize the importance of savasana if you expect students to stay for the entire period. When you know a student has to leave early, suggest they depart before savasana begins. Be sure to manage student expectations around savasana by mentioning how long it will last, why we do it, what to do if it’s not relaxing, and when the class will be moving out. These set up a condition where students can best enjoy their relaxation, and once they enjoy it, they will be less likely to leave.
All this advice boils down to: “Build a strong container.” Let your students know with your words and your actions what is acceptable. Once you’ve set this expectation, manage it consistently and kindly. The great majority of your students will learn quickly and become models for the rest of the class.
Practice Your Approach
Draft three approaches, with the language you’d want to use, to these issues. What would you say, when and how?
▸ A student carries a very strong odor
▸ A student leaves loudly during savasana
▸ A student goes way off-book during class, and students appear to be distracted
Electronic Devices
With the ubiquity of smartphones and smart watches, students are accustomed to having screens at hand every moment. A yoga class offers a chance to turn away from the constant barrage of incoming messages and toward inner experience. Having screens in class interferes with this opportunity, so whenever possible, encourage your students leave their phones in their cars or bags, and that they put their smart watches on Do Not Disturb as well as Theater Mode so that they are not distracted by incoming messages, and their neighbors are not distracted by their screen lighting up. Even cell phones set to vibrate can make an ungodly racket, especially if they are resting directly on a wooden table or bench.
There are valid reasons for a student to have a phone in class: They may be a medical professional or emergency services worker on call, or attending their first yoga class while leaving a new baby with a caregiver. If possible, encourage these students to leave their devices with the staff covering the front desk; they will be able to relax better and the desk staff can get them if needed. If it’s necessary, set these students up toward the back of the room with the phone shielded from students’ view. Any other use of a phone in class can be discouraged with a simple reminder like, “This is your time to connect your body, mind, and breath—and your phone is not invited to this party.” If you are using a wireless microphone to record video in class, the signal from cell phones can interfere. Ask students to turn their phones off or to put them in airplane mode.
Of course, the same rule that applies to your students goes for you! It is highly unprofessional for a teacher to be touching a phone during class for any reason other than a quick volume or soundtrack change in class. Do not answer texts while your students are in savasana. Do not, under any circumstances, take unannounced photos of your students without their explicit consent, especially during savasana. If you use a smart watch, which can be a great device for timing longer holds of poses and for controlling your music, mention to your students what you are doing (“I’m setting a timer as we take a yin yoga–style hold of this pose”). Be sure your own device is in Do Not Disturb and your watch is in Theater Mode.
Unless a student is answering phone calls in the room, stick to blanket announcements directed to the whole room and save any individual conversations for after class. You never know exactly what’s happening. I once saw a student fiddling with what I presumed was her pager throughout a workshop I taught. The session was almost over when I realized it was a blood sugar monitor!
Script It
Draft a few different ways to express quickly to students that phones are not welcome in class.
Family Members in Class
At the start of your teaching career, your students may be primarily people you know and have invited to class. You may even have created a class for your friends and family to gain experience. Great! However: Make it clear how long this situation will be in effect. If you are teaching your friends for free, how long will you do it? Four weeks? Two months? Have an answer other than “indefinitely.”
The toughest student for me to have in class is my husband, Wes. He’s used to having my attention in a very specific way, and my attention goes right to him even in a room full of students. The lines of communication between us were laid down in 1995, and they are very different from how I communicate with my other students. You might find something similar happening in your class.
Conversely, our daughter Lillian is my best source of constructive feedback about my teaching. She can pinpoint my filler phrases and overused words, and, as a teenager, can spot anything phony in my affect in front of the class. As a studio owner, I find it difficult to get an honest critique even from other teachers (I hired them, so I get it), and Lillian’s advice is invaluable.
When you have family members in class, let your students know who they are. Not only do students like a peek into your personal life—and it’s just a peek—such introductions also explain any intimacy evident between you and your family, so they help manage student expectations of the appropriate teacher-student rapport.
injuries and scope of practice
While it seems counterintuitive, I suggest you do not ask students about their injuries. Legally, once you are aware of these injuries, you are responsible for them. And realistically, what are you going to do with a room full of various complaints? Instead, encourage each student to take responsibility for their personal health. Cut out the extra time and jump right to that step. Remind students early and often that everything is optional, nothing should hurt, and that it’s always OK to move out of something that doesn’t feel right in favor of rest. Mention common modifications, like having hands to your heart or your hips if lifting your arms overhead doesn’t feel good for your shoulders.
Students may announce an injury to you uninvited; don’t freak out if they do. Ask the student if they have been cleared by their medical providers to do the physical movements of class. It would be within your rights to refuse to have a student in class without a note from their health-care team.
Know your scope of practice. If you are a physical therapist, you should be paid a physical therapist’s rates in your clinic to answer students’ questions—that’s outside the purview of yoga. Don’t hesitate to say, “That’s outside my knowledge base,” or, if you do have a practice that covers the issue, “That’s beyond the bounds of this class, but it is something I can address in an appointment at my office. Here’s how to book one.”
Develop a network of providers you can refer students to. This could include a sports medicine clinic, an orthopedist, a chiropractor, a massage therapist, and so on. If you’re not sure which providers would be a good choice, ask at your local running store. They likely have a network of clinicians who are used to working with people with movement-related injuries.
in case of emergency
The more you teach, the greater the probability of something going wrong in your class, from heart attacks to fart attacks. Thinking through how you might handle such emergencies will make them easier to handle in the moment. Be sure you have covered these bases.
Logistics
Know where you are. What is the physical location of your classroom? How will you direct emergency services to find you if you need an ambulance or firefighters?
Know where the closest AED is. An AED—automated external defibrillator—can help reset heart rhythms and is an important resource in the case of a cardiac event. If your class is in a gym or in a studio in a shopping center, there may be an AED nearby. Scope it out, and consider how you could direct a student to find it in case of an emergency. (“Jeff, run to Kroger’s across the parking lot for the AED!”)
Know the number for emergency services. If you are teaching internationally, be aware of how to to reach emergency services wherever you are. Students will help you with this.
Know CPR and first aid. If you haven’t taken a CPR class in the last two years, look for one offered by the Red Cross, the American Heart Association, or a similar organization. Even refreshing your memory in an online course is better than not knowing anything. Some gyms and studios will require you maintain CPR certification, and some of these pay to provide it for you. And fear not: If you need to call emergency services and CPR is warranted, they will talk you through what to do. It’s also a good idea to learn how to use an EpiPen on someone suffering a severe allergic reaction—they may carry the pen but be unable to instruct you.
People Management
Keep eyes on your class. If someone looks dizzy or wobbly, discreetly put them in a resting pose like child’s pose or legs up the wall, or bring them to sit on a cushion. Check in with students if they leave the room. Be subtle: Don’t yell, “Hey, where ya going?” A simple thumbs-up sign or OK sign with raised eyebrows and a slight frown can convey your concern. If someone has been gone for a while, send a regular student (if it’s feasible) to check on them. They may be having a GI emergency, or a heart attack—in women, the symptoms can register the same.
Delegate. If someone loses consciousness, delegate. Point to one student and have them call emergency services, then send another out to meet the ambulance. Ask if anyone in the class has medical training. If so, let them take charge; your role becomes keeping your students calm. If the emergency warrants, send students home. Sometimes loss of consciousness or seizures are accompanied by a loss of bowel control, or vomiting. If that happens, obviously class will not continue, and it’s better to clear the room of all nonessential people.
Emergency contact. Many enrollment software programs require that students enter an emergency contact. If you have desk staff, ask them to contact this individual; if not, do this yourself as soon as is feasible. You might also find an emergency contact in the sick student’s phone. On most smartphones, you can activate the screen, then choose “Emergency.” Emergency contacts may be entered under that name—“emergency contact”—or as ICE (“in case of emergency”).
Document. Once the situation is resolved and you have taken a few deep breaths, send an email to your manager explaining what happened and the steps you took. This should happen in any emergency involving bodily fluids or loss of consciousness—even if it’s just a student cutting herself on a nail that’s popped up from the floor. If your class is at a gym or a similarly large organization, they may have an incident report form for you to complete. Even if you’re teaching a class that you’re hosting on your own, or a private lesson, document what happened and save it. This may be important down the road. If you needed to dismiss the class and only if you have the sick student’s express permission, you can follow up with students to say how everything was resolved.
When the Emergency Is Yours
Sometimes the emergency is your own: You are suddenly stricken midclass with acute nausea, bowel pain, a coughing fit, or a migraine. In such cases, simply do your best. If you become ill during class, use your best judgment about what to do. (I have a colleague who once put students into a pose, ran from the room with morning sickness, then returned to continue on the second side.) If there is an experienced teacher or student in the room, deputize them to hold the space while you care for yourself. If there is a front desk, alert them to what’s up. It is OK for you to cancel class or end early if you are suddenly unwell, especially if you realize you are coming down with something that might be contagious. No matter how much your students appreciate how they feel after taking your class, none of them are in such dire need of yoga that they couldn’t join the next class or next week’s class.
Planning Is Indispensable
Imagine a scenario in which you suddenly feel sick during class. How will you handle this? Write it out as one or more if/then statements. You may never need to use these plans, but if you do, having run them through in your imagination will be useful.
managing your reaction to students: drop the story
You’ll never know what your students are thinking. Often it’s the student with the most inscrutable expression who is having the deepest experience. Don’t fear the resting bitch face! A slightly furrowed brow is often the sign of someone paying attention or concentrating. If you look out and see a room full of smiles and hear laughter at every quip you offer, your students are focusing on you, not the inner experience. At that point, you’re entertaining them, not facilitating their experience in self-discovery.
While this is true of all age groups, it’s especially the case with tweens and teens. Don’t get caught up in trying to elicit smiles; don’t tell yourself stories about what the students are thinking. Just teach the yoga as authentically as you can. And be true to yourself: No one can smell a phony like a teenager. Use your own words, your own voice. Don’t simply parrot your favorite teacher or put on airs.
I’ve mentioned to rooms of experienced teachers that I find the students who leave quickest after class often had the deepest experience. They always agree. More than once, I’ve gotten a note from the students with the most unreadable faces saying, “That was just what I needed today.” Here are a few stories that underscore how we can never know what people are thinking from their expressions.
First, I was leading a teachers’ intensive in a room with poor acoustics and I encouraged students to draw close to me so I wouldn’t have to yell to be heard. While many moved their mats, one remained outside the semicircle. I asked her by name to come near us, and she scooted forward on her mat only a foot or so. Figuring it was a lost cause, I continued and hoped she could hear me. At the end of the five-day workshop, she told me, “I know you wanted me to come closer that first day. But I’d just been in the hospital with my son, who had the flu, and the doctor said I might be contagious for 24 hours. I really wanted to be in the workshop, but I didn’t want to infect anyone—that’s why I did what I did.”
My colleague Alexandra was once teaching when a student packed up and left in the middle of class, gesturing that she was sorry. Alexandra had once taught a class where a woman had a stroke (happily, the student’s husband was with her, whisked her off to the hospital, and she recovered), so she worried that that this student may have been sick. After class, Alexandra sat down to send her a message. While she did, an email came in from the student. She’d had a creeping feeling that she left the kettle on the stove with the burner on, she said, and when she got home, she found it dry and glowing red.
To add one more story, this one from outside yoga: I was heading to my regular step aerobics class (this was 1996, the heyday of step) when my father called to tell me my grandmother had died. After hanging up, I continued what I was doing on autopilot and went to the gym. Only 15 minutes into the routine did it strike me: I did not want to be at step aerobics! I packed up my equipment and left, explaining it to the teacher at the next class. My leaving had absolutely zero to do with her.
Finally, even though you’re striving to be a kind, accepting person, do you like every single being you come into contact with? Of course not. Sometimes the vibe just isn’t right. The same thing will go for your students. Don’t hold them to a standard you wouldn’t hold yourself to.
managing student behavior outside of class: setting boundaries
What happens in class will inform your relationship with your students outside of class. When you have clear boundaries in the classroom, students are likely to respect your personal space and your time outside the classroom. But the very thing that makes students feel great in class—seeing you, their teacher, as a sympathetic caretaker—can lead students to assign you as the cause. While this is a natural projection, remind students that you are not the source of their positive feelings—their own yoga practice is. Issue this reminder whenever you find that students are deifying you. This might come in the form of compliments after class, or in a request for more guidance or attention (an invitation to coffee, for example). The higher the pedestal your students put you on, the more painful it will be for them when they realize you’re a typical messy human. Don’t lay your dark secrets bare to them, but do remind them that you are just a person with flaws and that their positive reaction to yoga is due not to you but to their own good work on the mat.
The gold standard on the ethics around teacher-student relationships is laid out in black-and-white terms in Donna Farhi’s book Teaching Yoga: Exploring the Teacher-Student Relationship. This book is well worth your time. In your day-to-day life, you’ll find there are far more gray areas. The modern studio generally doesn’t elevate teachers to guru status (with some notable exceptions), so the power dynamic is often not as strong as you’ll see it described in Farhi’s book or other accounts of appropriate ethics. If you choose to register with the Yoga Alliance, you’ll sign their general Code of Conduct. It binds you to maintaining standards of professionalism—ensuring student safety, creating an inclusive classroom, appropriately setting and fulfilling expectations.
Below are common situations you may encounter and suggestions on how to handle them professionally. In each of these, you should be polite and kind without inviting further complication. Putting a little space between you and the student—saying, “Sorry, I need to leave for my next class,” for example—will give you some time to contemplate an efficient and appropriate answer, and to consult with your manager and your mentor before proceeding.
How to Communicate
In general, your communication with students will take place either in person within the studio or in the context of one-to-many marketing, which we discussed above. If students reach out to you by direct message on your social media or by asking for your phone number, please know that you do not need to answer any message or to share your contact information. You can direct any inquiry to your studio owner, or you may simply ignore it.
If you are teaching online, students may comment on your videos, depending on the platform. If you have the energy, you can respond to each comment with a quick “thank you.” Recognize that you’ll be setting a precedent! While responding to comments can be a great way to build an audience, it can also become a drain on your time.
You may need to text your students to confirm a private appointment. Be sure to keep these communications professional—treat texts as though they were emails. Use proper punctuation and be brief and clear.
What to Communicate
If a student asks you for advice on choosing a class, retreat, or teacher training, be honest but professional. Don’t engage in gossip about other students or teachers. A good rule of thumb: Don’t say anything you wouldn’t broadcast to your entire newsletter list or want your grandmother to hear.
Personal Friendships
Some of your students may come in as preexisting friends of yours. Others might be the kind of person you would like to have as a friend. Being friendly with your students is different from being their friend. Don’t issue an invitation to one student that you would not give the entire class. If a group of students invites you out socially after class, either politely decline or be sure the invitation has been clearly issued to the entire class.
Romantic Relationships
Never capitalize on your status as teacher to leverage relationships with your students. This is a clear, unethical abuse of power. If a potential for a romantic relationship emerges, talk to your supervisor and your mentors. So much depends on the power dynamic at play. For example, a teacher trainer clearly should never date a trainee during or immediately after the course of the program. But what about going on a date with someone who once accompanied a friend to your class—maybe exactly because that friend thought you two would get along? What about inviting a new romantic interest to your class? When can your partner begin attending your class? Once you live together? Once you are married? These are situations with less clear-cut parameters. The grayer the situation, the more important it is that you talk to your mentorship team about what to do. Take your time. Any relationship worth waiting for can stand a slow unfolding. If you’re feeling rushed or under pressure, that’s a good sign that you should not pursue a relationship. Remember the yama of brahmacharya. It’s sometimes translated as “sexual chastity.” I prefer the interpretation of brahmacharya as temperance: deliberate self-control.
Gifts
Receiving gifts from students should be considered on an ad-hoc basis and with awareness of your workplace’s stated policy. (If one isn’t stated, ask.) It would be rude to turn down, say, a dozen eggs from your student’s chicken coop or a book that your student thinks you will enjoy, but it might make sense to turn down invitations to drinks or gifts of clothing or jewelry. Whenever possible, keep the gift at the studio rather than taking it home. It removes some of the potential pitfalls of a personal gift-giving relationship while sharing the sentiment with the entire studio community. We sometimes have students bring us flowers, which stay at the studio for everyone to enjoy, or little statues from their trips that can go on a windowsill or altar.
Draft Your Response
Since you may be tongue-tied when a student approaches you with a gift or a request for a date, it’s useful in advance to think through some polite ways to turn the student down. Draft a response to these prompts. Think of how you can deflect and redirect the attention.
“Can I take you out for coffee? I have some questions about yoga.”
“Can I take you out for coffee? I’d like to get to know you better.”
“Will you tell me about XYZ studio? I’m considering doing their teacher training and wondered if it’s the right fit for me.”
“Will you tell me about XYZ studio? I heard some freaky cult stuff goes down over there.”
“Your class has made me feel so good, I’d like to repay you with this gift certificate for a massage.”
“Your class has made me feel so good, I’d like to repay you by giving you a massage myself.”
It’s good to have thought through these potential pitfalls so that you’ll be less surprised if you encounter them. But virtually all of your work with students will be positive and satisfying. These positive relationships are a form of yoga—connection. In part 4, we’ll look at ways you can connect beyond the regular class.