CHARACTER LIST

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Flavia Albia

a happy bride

Tiberius Manlius Faustus

very straight, her lucky man

Julia and Favonia

her sisters, his wedding planners

On the bride’s side:

Far too many other relatives to mention

On the groom’s side:

tricky Uncle Tullius, scratchy Aunt Valeria, unhappy Fania Faustina, objectionable Antistius, three whiny boys

The Fabulous Stertinius

a rhapsodizing citharist

Genius

the celebrated chef (who doesn’t cook)

Larcius

a dependable works foreman

Sparsus and Serenus

two daft laborers

Trypho

a have-a-go watchman

Lares and Penates

bent

… AND AWAY

Julius Liberalis

a have-it-all bar owner

Old Thales

a popular landlord (deceased, thank goodness)

Rufia

a do-it-all barmaid (disappeared mysteriously)

Nipius and Natalis

two louche waiters (all too present)

Artemisia and Orchivia

two Dardanian virgins (honest)

Menendra

a woman of commerce (looks dishonest)

Nona

the wise woman (in business, don’t ask)

Costus

your best bet for religious sacrifice

Passus, Erastus and Victor

who will do the deed with:

Snowy

a sheep (tomorrow’s mutton broth)

Staberius

an obliging augur (ask whatever you want)

Silvinus

an undertaker whose trade is quiet

Prisca

everybody’s grandma

Gavius

one of hers, a marble-supplier

His parents

very proud of him

Aglaia, Euphrosyne, Thalia

the Three Graces, big girls

Appius

an honest second-in-command

Lepida and Lepidina

snackery proprietors

The Macedonians

providers of other services

Chia

a very young Macedonian

Rhodina

a wants-it-all mother

Morellus

of the Fourth Cohort, a rough-and-ready officer

Macer

of the Third Cohort, just as rough but even less ready

Juventus

[sensitive information redacted]

Pudgy

grandmother to the Three Graces

A chicken supper

probably

The Egyptians

sought-after provender-sellers

Rabirius

a failing gangster (not been seen for a while)

Roscius

his rising heir (lying low, but not for long now)

Gallo

doesn’t want to know where the bodies are buried