Chapter 9
Influencing Your Boss

I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their job.

—Samuel Goldwyn, Movie Producer

Moving your boss without getting fired—or receiving as a boss powerful messages helpful in achieving your goals—are the aims of this chapter. Could being more effective with your boss grant you more latitude, more support, or more challenging assignments? Or would you like to influence something about your boss's management style, such as more effective ways of dealing with higher-ups? The challenge is to gain influence with your boss in ways that build your relationship rather than threaten it. Too many managers and leaders are not very good bosses, and those who are good could be even better.

As the person with less formal power, be careful not to give away your power unnecessarily, so you can be fully effective. One temptation is heroic thinking about leadership, succumbing to the assumption that leaders have all the responsibility and control, so you only need to deliver what is formally assigned to you and “delegate upwards” everything else, without taking initiative to accomplish unit goals. A related temptation is expecting perfect problem solving from the boss and becoming judgmental when that's not the case.1

Your boss's effectiveness is part of your job. It starts with you. This is a fundamental mind shift in today's organizations! You are, in part, responsible for helping your boss be a more effective manager and a better boss to you. Whether you or your boss see it that way, you are partners in making your department or team work well:

We are suggesting that the basic nature of the manager-employee relationship should change from the old superior-subordinate form of interaction (with all its implications of all-knowing dominance and ignorant submission). Instead, we advocate more of a partnership relationship.2 While a difference in hierarchy remains, junior and senior partners still form a partnership.

How do junior partners act? They take a “partner” orientation. Irrespective of status difference, partners don't let their partners:

No self-respecting partners could stand silently by when other partners, no matter how senior, are about to make a costly blunder, overlook important opportunities, or miss information vital for success. A partner is obliged to be as responsible as possible, even at the risk of personal discomfort or embarrassment.

This obligation asks a lot of you, but wouldn't you want the people who report to you to have that basic mind-set? Accept responsibility for the relationship with your boss; both of you win if you are more productive. That is the leverage point for influence with your manager.

Accepting responsibility can get you the benefits many people want: greater scope to your job, better supervision and coaching, a closer or more open work relationship, or a boss who is more effective in the organization. (Not all managers may, at first, welcome such a partnership relationship, and we deal with that later.)

The Approach

To get the kind of influence with your boss that will pay off, you should do five main things (Figure 9.1):

  1. See the boss as a potential ally (a partner).
  2. Be clear on what you really want (your goals and priorities).
  3. Make sure you genuinely understand the boss's world.
  4. Understand the resources (currencies) you already have or can acquire.
  5. Pay attention to ways in which the boss wants to be related to.

Is your boss incredibly demanding? Do you find your boss highly judgmental, jumping on you for the slightest mistake? Would you prefer it if your boss began interactions with you by addressing how you can develop, rather than merely judging every action? Before writing him or her off as totally impossible, assume that your boss might be a potential ally, a partner very concerned about success and deeply worried about failure (not a huge leap for the ambitious person that he or she is). With this orientation, maybe you won't just cringe at the boss's comments but look for what to learn from them.

Figure depicting the summary of the Cohen-Bradford model of influence without authority. It includes six parts: assumption of potential allies; clarification of goals and priorities; diagnosis of the world of the other person; identification of relevant currencies, theirs, yours; dealing with relationships; and influence through give and take.

Figure 9.1 Summary of the Cohen-Bradford Model of Influence without Authority

Do you want to influence such a person? If you see that kind of person as a potential ally and partner, wouldn't you want to try to understand his world? Chapter 4 warns against jumping to a “personality analysis” of the other instead of looking at situational factors that often are more powerful. Say it is New York real estate, a rather cutthroat industry in a competitive city, with very large fortunes made—and lost. In that situation, doesn't a manager need to know that he is working with the best, with somebody who is skilled and savvy in deal making rather than running operating businesses? A boss with those pressures probably won't be very patient with subordinates. A real estate tycoon's likely currencies include street smarts, financial acumen, people whom he can rely on, toughness, ability to spot big opportunities, and thoroughness.

Examine what you bring to the party. Let's assume you have the basic financial knowledge. You control how hard you are willing to work, how thoroughly you analyze opportunities, and how tough and tough minded you are. Can you be as nervy as your boss would like, creating confidence in your bold thinking? Can you actively seek deals and talk to everyone in the industry to hone your skill in spotting opportunities?

Then consider how he interacts with others—clients and business associates (especially those of lower status). Is he usually gruff and blunt? And how does he respond to people who are forceful rather than deferential? (Not infrequently, people who appear domineering respect those who stand up to them.)

Then be clear about what you want. Is a warm and fuzzy boss really important to you? Or one who gives you challenging assignments?

Once you understand the currencies in your arsenal and how such a boss likes being related to, could you make the following approach (perhaps adapting your language and tone to his)?

Sir, I am as hungry as you to find great real estate deals and to protect your investments. I work long hours and am always ready to work longer if needed. You have years of hard-won experience in New York. When you see me do something wrong, you would get more for your investment in me if you didn't just hit me as hard as I deserve but also talked to me about how to do it better. I want to learn, and I can take it, no matter how tough you are with me. But I want to be sure that I learn the lessons that will help both of us.

Influence Strategy

We can't guarantee that talking this way would definitely work with your boss, but it has a chance because it follows three central principles:

  1. You are showing your boss how altering behavior is in his or her interest. Notice the difference between saying that you want your boss to help develop you because it will make you happy and wanting development because it creates return on the boss's investment, which he or she cares a lot about.
  2. You are showing your boss that his or her best interest is for you to be successful and satisfied because that produces the best work from you. You acknowledge your interests but connect them right back to what your boss (almost certainly) wants.
  3. You are delivering your preference in a style that your boss prefers. You have used a tough, no-nonsense tone, asserting that you can take anything that is dished out but will be more productive if your boss thinks about your learning.

We will assume that you have used the basic model to develop a well-thought-out plan that takes account of your boss's world, speaks to his or her currencies, and furthers the organization's objectives.

The first question is, how have you presented it? Does it consider the boss's style of working?

For example, does your manager like fully developed ideas (rather than input early on)? If so, you probably need to sort your ideas first, testing their feasibility with colleagues. Because experience tells you that your boss is likely to resist new ideas, don't bring any if you haven't worked them out or aren't reasonably certain of their benefits.

Perhaps the way you present the ideas creates the problem. Have past responses left you irritated and frustrated, so you come in with a chip on your shoulder, expecting a refusal that proves what a hypocrite your boss is? That isn't likely to create a positive reception.

The goal is to always be on your boss's side, not a critic or antagonist. You are always seeking to help the boss meet his or her goals unless you truly can't stomach the goals, in which case no technique is likely to work. (If you are that opposed, get out as soon as you can.)

(For an example of someone who stood up to a boss insisting on an unreasonable action while remaining on the boss's side, see the example of Fred and Dave in Chapter 16.)

Typical Issues with Bosses

This section takes a sample of actual statements about what people want from their bosses and uses the statements as the basis for questions and answers about influencing your boss. Several more can be found at www.influencewithoutauthority.com.

Problem 1: My Boss Resists My Ideas for How to Improve Things in Our Area

“I often have new ideas for doing things better around here. Yet, when I raise these ideas with my manager, he resists them and often lists all the reasons that an idea won't work or isn't worth the trouble. I find it very discouraging, especially since my boss always says that he wants us to take initiative.”

Possible Answers

Why would a boss be so resistant?

  • Does your boss really believe that you are on his or her side? Do you present ideas only in ways that help your area, or do you also speak to your boss's concerns?
  • What pressures affect your boss? Has he been recently burned with an idea (from somebody else) that went wrong? Or does she face similar negative challenges from her boss and need to cover all the bases?
  • You might have stated the expected benefits of your ideas, but have you assessed the costs? Have you gotten into a “sell mode” rather than presenting a balanced picture? (And perhaps all your boss's questions are an attempt to provide that balance.)
  • Are you overloading an overloaded boss? Too often subordinates make requests in this form: “Here is a great idea, and you just need to do B, G, X & Y.” Have you understood your boss's world and the forces that might be inducing resistance? Does your boss already feel overloaded and out of control, as many do currently? (That may well explain why your boss asks for initiative without responding well to it.) If your idea creates more work for your boss, even temporarily, she may be reacting to that, not the idea itself.

If your boss is overloaded, how can you help? Can you do things to ease the burdens, rather than add to them? Can you do more homework on your idea to show that it is already fully worked out and that you can take on more burdens so it's easier to implement? Can you do the analysis and the lobbying, or round up supporters so it's more attractive for your boss to agree?

But let's assume none of these points apply. Then the question is, “How have you treated the objections?” Did you see them just as excuses and resistance? What if you saw them as concerns (currencies)? How could you resolve them (e.g., pay the boss by addressing the concerns in exchange for your project)? That is how junior partners act.

The question of why your boss resists your ideas contains two angles: (1) What creates resistance to the ideas, and (2) why does the boss declare a desire for innovation but then undermine it?

The previous diagnosis mostly addresses resistance to your ideas, so we turn now to the second issue: the possibility of being undermined. Without real inquiry, you are guessing about what bothers your boss and what he or she might want from you. Go to the horse's mouth: Could you, in a non-accusatory, truly inquiring mode, ask why you are getting the responses that you are?

Such a direct approach might not work. In spite of your spirit of really wanting to know (and not as a veiled attack on his competence), your boss might think that your question is too presumptuous or can be answered only with uncomfortable levels of self-disclosure. So you might have to rely on your initial diagnosis.

If asking doesn't work, you could still directly raise the issue by framing it in terms of your development. This can sound phony unless you really are curious, so be cautious. “I really want to take you up on your request for all of us to initiate more, but I have tried several times and you do not seem to encourage my ideas. Can you help me see how to improve them so that they will be acceptable?” That is not antagonistic, and it gives your boss several choices: tell you how to strengthen your ideas (e.g., calculating payback ahead of time or identifying all the stakeholders who will have to buy in), reassure you to keep trying and to make the ideas bigger or smaller or whatever will help them gain acceptance, tell you more about why he has been discouraging (which helps you understand what currencies would alleviate the reasons), or possibly rethink how he has reacted and start to be more welcoming. “Help me learn” places the onus on you, not the boss, if done sincerely.

Utilizing Partnership to Gain Responsibility/Greater Scope for Your Job

Problem 2: How Can I Get What I Want from My Boss in Terms of Improved Job Scope, Challenge, or Autonomy?

I can do so much more if he will let me. And it would be a lot more interesting, too.

Answer

The first thing is to reframe the question. The present statement focuses on what you want. But how could you focus on the boss's (and the organization's) best interest? One implication of partnership is that it lets you bring more to the party than acting as a deferential subordinate does. With an altered job scope, you could share in the responsibility for the success of the unit and take on new tasks to help that happen. That should lighten the boss's burden because you are taking on more challenging and meaningful tasks. The best way for this to occur is if you become a partner in deciding how tasks will be allocated, because you know your own capacities and interests—and know which stretches would be reasonable and which would pull you apart. That is why your participation in the decision process is reasonable. Asking for a part in the decision is not a request to displace your boss but to ensure the process includes you, a person with important data that can produce a more informed decision.

However, your boss may not agree with your assessment of your capacities and readiness. Rather than seeing this as a defeat, see this as a way to gain crucial information (which may lay the groundwork for a win-win outcome).

First, you want to find out the source of his hesitancy. Is your boss holding on to the time you messed up on a previous assignment? Or are you asking for something so different from previous tasks that your boss is concerned whether you can come through? This is important information to have, both because it can be good learning and because it lets you formulate a solution.

Again, using the notion that his concerns are his currencies, could you work out the following possibilities?

Rarely do managers want to underuse the employee's abilities. So there is a discrepancy between your view of your performance capabilities and your boss's.

The key is to initiate a discussion in which you listen very closely to the concerns. This will be difficult because you will be tempted to rebut. But you must keep in mind that you are having the conversation to discover the concerns. Are they about something you did (or didn't do) in the past? About how you work with others? Or are the concerns not about you, but about the project's visibility and his own exposure if you fail?

You may not agree, but you have to start with the concerns—they are real to the boss, if not to you. This won't be easy to hear, but this approach has a double benefit: You learn the concerns and, therefore, the currencies you will have to deliver to address them. You also reassure the boss that you can take it when he or she tells you any negative stuff that he has been sitting on all along.

Now you are able to suggest some win-win exchanges. If your boss wonders whether you can do this expanded job, ask how you can improve your performance. If he is worried that you will go off on tangents, work out periodic checkpoints in exchange for the assignment. Can you agree on a small portion as a test? You are paying in the currencies that he is most concerned about in exchange for your acquiring the challenging work you want.

As an example of what can happen even in a situation that seems almost impossible, here is what a female lawyer in a male-dominated law firm in Jordan did when she kept getting turned down for partner, even though it was clear to her that she was more talented than the men who were making it. When she carefully diagnosed what her boss cared about and offered an exchange that included a way for him to afford the promotion, it worked. She eventually was made partner! Note that she implicitly follows the Influence without Authority model, determining the currencies of the law firm's owner and showing him both the short-term and long-term benefits of giving her what she wanted.

[I said to the owner,] “If you can't keep me, you can't ever keep anybody like me.…So, let's talk about a structure that can probably incentivize somebody like me.…You overpay a lot of people…you don't fire people that perform poorly…[You need to] free up some of the cash of the company so you can actually pay [high performers] proper bonuses, by letting go of the nonproductive lawyers.”…We spent about eight months going back and forth, back and forth. I created time lines and milestones…it involved firing people…it involved cutting down the allowances of the partners initially so we can create a better profit.3

Improving the Superior-Subordinate Work Relationship

Traditionally, any problems between superior and subordinate were considered the problem of the subordinate, who had to adapt. That's just the way it was. However, with the current knowledgeable workforce, when no single individual has a monopoly on talent and answers, good junior partnership requires more than constant agreement with the boss. Bosses cannot afford to send in the clones; they must create, value, and work with strong individuals who have the knowledge the boss does not have, and both must learn to blend views rather than always fight to win or compromise away strength.

Thus, powerful forces are pushing everyone in supervisory positions to seek partner-like responses from subordinates. Bosses need to be able to say, for example, “I am good at seeing the big picture but not at attending to crucial details; thank heavens that the junior partner is conscientious about little things that mean a lot,” rather than look at such a difference and proclaim, “I can't be bothered with that midget-mind who can't see the forest for the trees.”

Nevertheless, not all bosses are interested in work relationships with subordinates that include openness, full trust, and expression of all feelings or collaborative problem solving. What can you do if your boss is not ready for the kind of partnership you want?

Problem 3: My Boss Doesn't Want a Partnership

“I have tried to use your suggestion of being a junior partner to my boss, but he doesn't seem to want this. In fact, he seems quite annoyed and defensive, as if he thinks I am criticizing him. He even said once, ‘You were hired to do your job; I can do mine quite well, thank you.’ Should I just give up?”

Answer

Apparently your boss has a heroic idea about leadership, where not knowing how to do something is considered a terrible flaw. The idea that the subordinate should just stay in place and let the boss be the boss is a very old one, created when work was simple and subordinates weren't highly educated, so they needed to be told what to do. Possibly this boss really isn't movable and you will have to lump it or leave the position.

Nevertheless, keep in mind that in some ways you can act like a junior partner without your boss's permission. Perhaps you cannot directly influence your boss's style or discuss the nature of your relationship, but “partnership” can be more than that. It is seeing the larger picture and taking the initiative to do more than the minimum job requirements. Doing so can create the influence you want while building credit.

Look for ways to contribute within the role as your boss conceives it. Can you do something that the boss doesn't like to do or avoids (e.g., memo writing, speeches, organizing meetings, drafting follow-up notes, checking on milestones of projects)? Can you anticipate needs and have information or reports ready in advance? Can you acquire information the boss would like to know? No matter how your job description is written, as a loyal subordinate you can do possible activities that are not explicitly spelled out to gain appreciation and, possibly, eventual latitude to be more of a partner. Start with asking for one or two and, if successful, ask for more. Demonstrate by being helpful that you are capable of adding value to the boss and unit. That begins the process. It might even be possible to do one or more without asking, if you see an unfilled need and can jump in without stepping on anyone's toes.

How your boss defines leadership. Many leaders act heroically because they don't have any other model. They also believe that this style is the only way to gain their subordinates' respect. If your boss is ever in the mood to discuss leadership (admittedly unlikely), you can mention that this isn't true for you. Some bosses may be more open to the published word. A book on modern leadership (that we are inordinately fond of) discusses alternatives to heroic leadership, Power Up: Transforming Organizations through Shared Leadership.4 You might well benefit from reading it, especially Chapter 2. If the boss is a reader, you might share a copy of the chapter, but definitely without suggesting anything more than that it is a different and intriguing point of view.

In any event, pay attention to the style most comfortable to your boss. Often, bosses with such structured ideas about respective roles have acquired them from the military. In that case, raise any leadership questions in a more formal and respectful style, emphasizing that you recognize that the boss always has the right to decide what to listen to, which you do not challenge. Instead, you wish only to add to the boss's resources and respect the role of leader deeply. You might gently point out that today's military seeks more input from those below; for example, the Army has instituted After-Action Reviews, where all who participated analyze each engagement in the field and where all participants' opinions are welcomed.55 But keep emphasizing that none of this is intended to undermine the top person's seniority and ultimate control.

A Tool for Using a Business Approach: Cost-Benefit Analysis Language

Certain bosses are too uncomfortable to ever directly discuss their relationship with their subordinates, but some ways to ease into a discussion have a better chance of working. The operating principle is using language that is more businesslike than relationship-like, expressing your views less personally.

One major business concept is cost-benefit analysis. Usually used to assess investments or other big decisions, it can be applied to your relationship with your boss. Your analysis could go something like this:

Boss, can we examine how we communicate and decide if it affects our performance? Our current style has many benefits. You inform me on a need-to-know basis; that saves time and lets you preserve important confidences. You ask my opinion when you think I have a contribution to make; that's efficient and lets you control communication from the people working for you. And you can ignore what I say when you don't agree, which saves hassles. It also lets me spend more time on my job.

But we should look at the costs as well. Things are moving so fast you aren't always aware of what I need to know, so I sometimes go in the wrong direction without the right data. Other times, I know things that could help you because my training and assignments give me different kinds of data, but unless you talk with me, you sail into mined waters with one eye blindfolded. As a result, it's difficult for me to fully support some of our departmental decisions. I could have helped you navigate around unnecessary blowups, but I never got the chance.

Are the benefits worth the costs? Would we be more cost effective if you and I found a better way to pass information back and forth?

Notice that this approach omits relationship-oriented words and phrases such as “share feelings,” “trust,” and “openness.” Instead, it uses businesslike and hard-headed language about information exchange, which is (at least partially) what trust and openness are about. This way isn't guaranteed to work, but at least it doesn't wave a red flag in front of a bull-headed boss or one uncomfortable with discussing relationship issues.

Disagreeing without Being Insubordinate

Problem 4: My Boss Is Often (or at Least Sometimes) Wrong, but Seldom in Doubt. I Want to Prevent Big Mistakes but Too Easily Get Perceived as Insubordinate

It's not so easy, you say? You're right. Some managers are highly resistant to any kind of disagreement from subordinates. Even though this position is very costly to them, since it cuts off news they need to hear, some diehards still imagine themselves to be ruling by divine right—and to be speaking ex cathedra when they take a stand. At least some of these managers are impermeable, but by using the kind of approach we advocate, you may be more likely to influence such a tyrant than you ever assumed.

Malcolm has plenty of company in the world. Many people assume the worst if they think a boss can't be influenced, so they never learn that they could do more than imagined. Labelling the boss a negative, impossible person, they decrease interaction just when staying in touch is most important. After all, staying in touch not only makes it easier to gather information about the currencies your boss values but also allows you to demonstrate that you are on the boss's side as a true partner who will do everything possible to prevent the boss from making a mistake that would go against his or her own objectives.

It is by no means easy to get that kind of message across, but when you do, you can make a friend for life. Strong bosses who prevent all disagreement are their own worst enemies; they try to dominate everyone, but when they succeed, they suffer by cutting themselves off from the kind of information they need. Saving bosses from their own strength is a risky but potentially very rewarding business; the rewards increase when everyone else who deals with that boss is too afraid to test the possibilities.

Nevertheless, once again we have to urge you to also consider whether the problem rests with you and your approach to the disagreement. Could it be that you constantly come across as impatient and frustrated, seem to imply that you are smart, and act disappointed with a boss who doesn't meet your idealized expectations? Are your good ideas adding to the workload of your already overworked manager?

Is there any chance your boss sees you as oppositional, a blocker to progress rather than someone on his or her side? One way to be direct in your disagreement and be on the boss's side is to differentiate what you disagree about.

Any boss finds it easier to tolerate disagreement about means to accomplish agreed-upon objectives than about the basic goals or objectives. All too often when disagreement is raised, it gets heard as opposition to the entire plan rather than as a question about the steps to reach that plan. If you do agree on goals and objectives, then make that explicit, disagreeing only on how to accomplish them; that allows you to be a partner and be direct.

For example, instead of just fighting misguided cost reductions and seeming negative, try something like, “I am totally behind our cost-saving goals, but cutting out the coffee station doesn't save enough to make up for the ideas generated when people bump into each other, discuss their projects, and share customer experiences. Besides, it comes across as petty rather than a smart move to cut waste; there would be a lot more enthusiasm for cutting back on color copies, for example, or fancy catered lunches. And perhaps we could rationalize our mailing and shipping processes, where there is a lot of waste.”

Problem 5: How Can I Help Develop My Boss?

“My boss really wants to be a good leader, but he doesn't do some things well, such as lead meetings. He seldom remembers to set agendas in advance and stifles dissent when he means to encourage it, so he's is less effective than he could be. I want him to succeed, but how do I go about it?”

Answer

One of the most desirable areas for influencing managers is improving their ability to do their own jobs, so that ultimately you can better perform yours. Many people have good relationships with their bosses, are satisfied with the levels of challenge and autonomy they are granted, and receive the supervision they want, but they find they could improve performance if they could influence how their bosses function in their roles. Nothing is more frustrating than watching your boss do something poorly when you could help but don't know how to assist without making the boss resentful.

True Grit: Being a Worthy Partner

Often, it seems that only great courage would allow you to tell your boss that there is something he or she could do more effectively or offer to be helpful. And courage is required because there is always risk involved. Nevertheless, if your motive is genuine help and not punishment, you really care about the effectiveness of your boss, and you do it in the spirit of partnership, many bosses will be more grateful than resentful. Part of the reason it is lonely at the top is that so few subordinates see that bosses need to learn and grow, too. Good bosses appreciate the person who is genuinely willing to help. The exchange of information about performance or advice on how to improve it, in return for appreciation from the boss (and, with luck, better ability to do your job), is a beneficial exchange that happens too seldom.

There are two ways to be on the boss's side when offering new possible behavior: Make clear your agreement on goals but concerns about the means being used, by saying something like, “I buy into your goals; let me help on the ways you are going about it.” In this case, for example, “I agree that we need more diversity of opinions; here is what I believe you need to do in order to encourage that and not inadvertently block them.”

This approach can work on task issues or leadership style, whichever needs attention.

As your boss's partner, you have an obligation to be forthcoming with information that he or she needs. On many issues, you automatically have useful information: for example, you know what impact the boss is having on you and, often, on your peers. You may also know how the boss is seen further down in the organization, in other units, and possibly by some of his or her colleagues and superiors. In addition, you may have some skills that your boss lacks, like the organization member mentioned earlier who was good at writing memos while his boss was not. So you can always ask, “Are there things I can do to help [prepare for the meeting/facilitate a discussion/get notes out quickly/and so on]?”

Barriers to Implementation

What gets in the way of implementing these sensible, supportive steps to helping bosses become more effective?

Too often the tone of subordinates is subtly (or not so subtly) critical rather than supportive. For a variety of previous experiences with those in positions of authority, subordinates can have trouble remembering that their bosses are not—and can't be—perfect at everything. Instead of seeing flaws in task-related issues (such as strategy or decision making) or leadership style (such as running meetings or giving feedback) as all-too human and worthy of help, they become critical and judgmental. Somehow they forget that they would want others to see their similar flaws as worthy of support and development.

Thus their own attitudes toward authority keep people from doing what Catherine did. Overly dependent subordinates believe that the manager knows everything without any help from below, so they are reluctant to risk offending the manager by offering help. They may also become disappointed when the manager turns out to have feet of clay, as is inevitably the case.

Feelings of counter-dependence also do not lead to offers of help, except in sarcastic or punitive ways that any boss finds difficult to accept. And the independent subordinates figure that the problem is the boss's and needs no attention from them. Only a subordinate who accepts the idea of genuine interdependence, of full partnership, will willingly look for supportive ways to make the manager more effective. Think of yourself that way and you are most likely to have a stance that will be perceived as worthy of listening to and working collaboratively with.

Table 9.1 lists ways you might be limiting yourself from influencing your boss.

Table 9.1 Ways You Can Limit Yourself in Influencing Your Boss

Treating your boss like a jerk, instead of a partner needing help.
Withholding critical information out of fear of the reaction, or because it isn't your job. Being so focused on what you want that you forget the boss's needs.
Being so afraid of displeasing the boss that you don't say what you know that he or she needs to know.
Trying to show up the boss instead of helping him or her look good.
Being too compliant, even at the expense of the work performance.

For further knotty challenges and answers in influencing bosses, see www.influencewithoutauthority.com. The resources include Earning Your Boss's Confidence Even When in Trouble and How Do I Change the Quality of Supervision My Boss Provides and Get the Development and Coaching I Want? (This problem has three variations: (1) “I could be much more effective if I received some coaching, but my boss seems to have a sink-or-swim philosophy. I am concerned that asking for advice would be seen as a sign of weakness.” (2) “I'm not afraid of my boss; in fact, I like her. But I can hardly get her attention, let alone her help. She is so busy and so preoccupied that I am left to drift. And when she does pay attention, I only get a quick criticism. I could use a lot more coaching and direction.” (3) “My boss is all too willing to give me advice. In fact, that's the problem; he moves from ‘helping me’ to ‘helping the hell out of me.’ I would welcome some general guidance but he dives into the details and won't let go.”)

Visit at your convenience. More ideas for forming an effective partnership await.

In addition, the flip side of influencing your boss is influencing subordinates. Since many of the ideas are the reciprocal of what this chapter covers, for space reasons our advice is included on our website at www.influencewithoutauthority.com.

Notes