More of Audrey’s
dinner party etiquette

Portion control

Serving sizes often cause headaches. One does not wish to appear ‘miserly’, nor overwhelm guests with huge portions. Where possible, I try to tailor amounts to individual diners. If someone is a big eater, I will naturally add an extra potato or two, or a few more slices of meat. If, on the other hand, a guest clearly needs to lose a few kilos, serving rice crackers in place of bread or perhaps chicken with its skin removed should hopefully send the message that you’re thinking about their weight. (Sometimes I’ll even avoid serving dessert to these people, knowing that such thoughtfulness will be gratefully appreciated.)

Self serve

For larger dinner party events it’s often best for people to serve themselves from platters presented on a sideboard. We like to keep things casual and insist that everyone ‘dig in’ as soon as they are seated. Naturally, we don’t mean it and have been dismayed over the years at the number of guests who blithely begin eating before Phillip and I are even at the table!

Table manners

When a course is finished it is customary to place the cutlery in the middle of your plate or bowl, an indication that you have had sufficient and are happy for the plate to be cleared. If you wish to rest your cutlery during a meal, lay it in a v-shape with the handles apart and resting over the sides of the plate. One piece of cutlery placed in the middle and one over the edge is considered an international signal of distress.

Place names

Place names are a wonderful aid in ensuring that guests are seated in the most appropriate positions. Some hosts insist on alternating ‘boy-girl-boy-girl’, while others prefer less structured arrangements. Those who are new to the area, or who are unknown to the other guests, are often best kept close to the host. Married couples, on the other hand, will generally appreciate being seated as far apart from each other as possible. Whether formally printed or handwritten, make sure you spell people’s names correctly. If I glance down and see my host has written ‘Audrie’ instead of ‘Audrey’, how can I be sure she hasn’t committed other such egregious errors in the kitchen? Has the meat been rested? Will there be eggshell in the soufflé? Has the gas been left on? At this point, I generally leave.

Plates

After the main course, plates should be cleared no more than two at a time. Stacking is both noisy and common.

Napkins

A word on napkins. I’m a cloth girl, always have been. Disposable serviettes are, to my way of thinking, abomination. You might as well put a roll of toilet tissue in the centre of the table and urge your guests to ‘help themselves’.