“Hurry up, Ray. You’re so late!” shouted Tanya from the gray vinyl couch in the break room. “You’ll probably be late to your own funeral.”
After punching out, Rayshell barreled through the crowd of night shifters to grab her belongings from her locker.
“What happened? I’ve been waiting here for more than twenty minutes.”
Rayshell griped through the slam of her locker, “I had a customer who just wouldn’t shut up. It’s not my fault.” She rounded the corner and stood in front of Tanya. “She was a lunatic! First, she wanted to return something that wasn’t even from our store. Then she wanted to buy something with popped tags. I had to call a manager over, which took forever. I couldn’t exactly tell her to get the hell out of the store so I can leave because I’m late for playing pool, now can I?”
“Well,” Tanya teased with a giggle, then stood to greet her with a quick hug. “Come on. Everyone’s waiting for us outside. The group chat is blowin’ up my phone as we speak. Look at all this.”
Rayshell glanced at the series of memes, gifs, and strings of capitalized text. “Makes me even happier I don’t have a phone,” she admitted with a sly eye. “Hey. You didn’t work today, did you?”
“Nope.”
“Ah, I see.”
“See what?”
“Sounds to me like someone was too nervous to wait with Jesse.”
Tanya blushed and objected, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Come on, girl. I’m not the only one who’s seen the way you look at him. Just ask him out already.”
As they walked through the department store, Tanya finally confessed, “I’ve hung out with Jesse before, and I’ve tried, okay? But he kept dodging the subject. I don’t think he likes me the same way I like him, and I don’t want to push it. Not when it might mess up our friendship.” As their friend Justine approached, she hurriedly whispered, “Please don’t say anything. I know how you get when you feel like you should step in.”
Before Rayshell could answer, Justine wrapped her arms around them with an excited smile. “Hey, you two. How’s everything? I haven’t seen either of you since summer break.”
Rayshell and Tanya answered with hand gestures and mumbled their affirmations of moderate satisfaction.
“How’s everyone at good ol’ ‘SC’?”
“Fine, I guess. Though some people need a brick to the face,” muttered Rayshell as Tanya put her arm around her.
“Don’t listen to her. She’s just dealing with a rough spot with ‘you know who.’”
Justine winced. “Yeah, I heard about what happened over summer break. I’m sorry, Ray. I could only imagine having to finish high school with those jerks.”
“Yeah, don’t remind me.”
“How’s your new school, Justine?” Tanya chimed in, intentionally switching the subject.
“It’s pretty mellow. I can tolerate it. Kind of a bummer to have to finish at another school for my last year, but whatever.”
“I’ll trade you,” Rayshell offered.
Justine scratched through her dark hair nervously. “C’mon, the boys are waiting outside. They sent me to go and grab you two in case you were looking at the bras again.”
As the girls made their way through the automatic doors, their collective laughter blended into the loud music that blared through the windows of Jesse’s gray van. He clicked off his hazard lights once he saw them walking his way.
“Come on, ladies. Hurry your buns before that security prick comes back around to talk more shit,” griped Manny from the passenger side window.
“Did you guys tell him that you were waiting for your grandma again?” blurted Rayshell as they approached the van.
“Hey, you stole my spot. I wanted shotgun,” Justine whined.
“Well, you moved. Finders keepers,” Manny teased and pointed at her with a stiff finger.
The group resolved that Tanya was best suited for the front seat on account of her ridiculous shoes. Justine slipped into the back of the van and scooted to the end for the window while Manny leaned against the door.
“You must be crazy if you think I’m sitting in the middle,” he told Rayshell.
Annoyed, Jesse turned around and barked, “Just get inside so we can hit the road already.”
When they pulled out of the parking lot, Rayshell chimed, “So everyone remembers the rules, right?”
Justine whined, “Oh, no,” as the others silently expressed their unenthusiasm.
“Oh, yes,” Rayshell cheered as she pulled a jewel case out of her bag.
“Can’t we at least vote?”
Rayshell looked at Manny and said, “No. We’ve already agreed on this before. Everyone hates the middle seat.”
Her friends continued to groan.
“… so to make them feel better, they get to choose the music. Now,” said Rayshell and handed the CD to Jesse, “I wanna feel better.”
“What is it this time?” he said as he popped in the CD.
Rayshell grinned with closed eyes. “The Mantle.”
Annoyed, Manny ranted, “Agalloch? Again? Don’t you listen to anything else?”
“Or anything more upbeat?” added Justine, then put her chin against her fist.
Rayshell leaned her head back, anticipating the solemn guitar of the first track. “Just enjoy, will ya?”
Over the years, Rayshell learned to take her friends’ criticism in stride. Aside from her brother, there wasn’t anyone she knew who appreciated her taste in music. There were occasions where she spent entire trips defending her musical preference over the predictable drivel that everyone else preferred. Eventually, Jesse and Tanya started to converse, but Rayshell didn’t care to listen in. She folded her arms and watched the darkness behind her eyes harden into a vast, verdant field of tall, shimmering grass. The swaying movement beckoned her to experience an upcoming vision.
During a long-awaited break from training, Navaryn retreated to the realm of Daeva and rendezvoused with Von. She traipsed beside him through a remote area of open plains and held her fingertips above the feathery growths that crowned the dancing grass. Their texture was a pleasure to her senses, evident by the gleaming smile on her face.
“It’s so beautiful,” said Navaryn. “I realize just how much I misjudged what the greater part of Daeva could look like.”
With his hands in his pockets, Von looked ahead with serious eyes. “There are always two sides to every coin. Beauty and despair, if you will. Leave it to the Halryn to paint all of Daeva like a war-torn, chaotic place.” He plucked a tuft from the next plume of grass that came his way. “Let me guess. You probably only know one side to Celestine, too.”
Navaryn’s eyes widened, for she hadn’t considered any other perspective than hers. “Could I be missing a bigger picture?”
Von thumbed the tuft apart and tossed the seed beside him. “Don’t be so content with the charming proclamations of Benson nor the other Halryn.”
The pair stopped at a grove of peachy, flowering trees for a rest. Von sat on one of the lumpy trunk growths, then beckoned Navaryn to his lap. Relishing in the warmth of her body, he ardently lost himself in the amber glow of her eyes as she watched the sun descend behind the distant mountains. After a shared embrace, a playful zephyr twirled between them. Von smiled as the distinct lavender fragrance in her hair danced to his nose and helped clear the wild strands from her contorted face.
Having bided his time long enough, Von compelled himself to confess his blissful desire. “Stay here with me,” he gently pleaded. “Forget about Benson and The Halryn. We can start a new life here.”
“Stay in Daeva? I just—I can’t, Von.” She looked into his earnest crimson eyes and could tell that wasn’t the response he was looking for.
“Why? What’s stopping you from leaving Celestine?”
Navaryn clenched her jaw as she pondered how she should answer him. Although the trust they shared was strong, the depth of her responsibility to Celestine kept her from divulging the truth.
Von took Navaryn by the chin to wrangle her distant eyes to his. “What is it?”
“I-I want to tell you, and maybe one day I will. But, right now, I can’t,” she said as a panging sensation roused between her shoulder blades. “Besides, you know our lives would be no different than back in Celestine.”
“You know we can’t do this forever,” he whispered, moving her wind-strewn locks to the side. “We have to come up with a plan soon.”
“Can we please just stop talking about this?” she urged. “Let’s give ourselves a few days of peace while we’re here. Please. That’s all I want.”
“I’m sorry, Nav. Though I don’t mean to pressure you, I will say this,” Von added. “You owe it to yourself and the people of Celestine to learn through your own eyes. And you owe it to yourself to make your own decisions.”
Sharply, Jesse pulled into the parking lot of the billiards and knocked Rayshell out of her vision. Her ears caught the song playing, giving her an idea of how much time had passed.
“Alright!” Manny called out. “Let’s get our pool on!”
“I have ten bucks, and it tells me that I’ll beat you,” Justine called out, leaning over Rayshell.
“Well, let’s go then,” he reiterated, then opened the van door.
As they entered the pool hall, Rayshell was relieved to find it half-empty.
“One table is fine,” Jesse told the worker and gave him his I.D. card.
“We’re going to that free spot in the back, number twenty-seven. That way, we can protect Justine, the ‘Scratch-Queen,’ from embarrassment,” Manny joked and passed Rayshell the tray of neatly displayed pool balls.
“The ‘Scratch-Queen,’ am I? Well then, bow before your master, mister ‘Jester of Geometry.’” Justine pantomimed dignified movements and continued to quip, “Oh, ye ‘Great Fool of Physics.’”
“My heart,” Manny whined while dramatically clutching the breast of his shirt. “You know I always try to make the most of my shots.”
After racking the balls, Justine and Tanya called dibs to play the first round against each other.
“Wanna break?” Tanya asked.
“Sure.”
“Betcha can’t even hit one ball,” Manny taunted.
Justine teased, “If you step a little closer, I’d be guaranteed to hit two.”
Manny motioned to protect his package as the rest of their group applauded her quip. With her tongue sticking out to the side, Justine gathered her concentration and hit the cue ball as hard as she could. Manny guffawed at the result, though she remained unfazed by his attempt to distract her. After a few rotations, Rayshell stood up for a stretch to alleviate the tightness in her back.
“I’ll be back. I have to go to the bathroom,” she muttered, then walked away.
“Hey, Tanya,” Jesse called after she mistakenly shot the cue ball into the corner pocket. “Is it just me, or is Ray not acting like herself tonight?”
“Truthfully, she’s been a little ‘off’ all week,” she confirmed.
Justine walked over to the table and took her time deciding where her move should be. Though she anticipated more snarky comments, Manny took a break from his typical hysterics to help coach her. Tanya sat beside Jesse and said, “They’re adorable.”
Jesse’s expression contorted a bit. “I can’t comfortably use that word with Manny’s name in a sentence.”
Tanya’s laugh roused curiosity from both Justine and Manny, who turned their squinty eyes her way. “Can we help you?” grumbled Manny with folded arms.
“No. You Sweethearts can go about your business,” Jesse said as he shooed their eyes away.
“Sweethearts? Now listen here, Cupcake. I’m open to giving you some lessons if you’re interested.”
Jesse puckered his lips and kissed the air. “Please teach me your ways, Senpai.”
Suddenly, Justine grabbed Manny’s arm.
“Lookin’ to make this a three-way session?” he called out playfully.
“No, Manny,” said Justine, but his jokes kept coming. “Would you stop for just a minute?”
Genuinely puzzled, he then responded, “What did I do?”
“Come here,” she hissed, then hushed over the rest of his proceeding questions as she walked him over to the others.
“What’s the problem?” Jesse asked, just as confused as the rest.
“Guys. Nine o’clock.”
“What? It’s not that late,” said Jesse as he checked the time.
“For the love of—just look over by the entrance,” directed Justine.
Slowly, the party turned their heads to Shawn and Stephanie, who were standing at the register with a group of their friends.
“Oh, boy. One of you girls should go and warn Rayshell, or we’ll get banned from ever coming here again,” said Manny with unprecedented seriousness.
Tanya took the lead and said, “I’ll get her,” then quickly walked away.
The hall’s ambiance snuck into the bathroom as a fellow patron opened the door to leave. Rayshell took a few extra moments at the sink to splash water on her face. Once she reached for a paper towel, Tanya walked inside.
“Hey, Ray. Okay, cool, you’re still in here,” she said while she worked to calm her breathing.
“What’s wrong with you? You look like you just saw a ghost.” Rayshell dried her face, then rustled out some eyeliner from her bag.
“Oh, just wondering what was keeping you.” Tanya forced a smile and pressed where the purple streaks were in her buoyant hair. “I thought maybe you fell in.”
“I’m fine,” she replied suspiciously. “Didn’t think I was taking that long.”
Tanya paused, drawing a blank on a suitable reply.
After finishing with the liner, she walked over to Tanya and asked, “Alright, what’s wrong?”
“Okay, promise not to get mad.”
“Why?” When her friend’s response didn’t come as fast as she wanted, Rayshell started toward the door. “You guys aren’t sticking me with the bill or anything, are you? I only got forty dollars until next week.”
“No. It’s nothing like that.”
Rayshell paused as a sickly heat wrapped over her face. “It’s not what I think it is, is it?”
“Well ….”
“Is Shawn out there?”
Wincing, Tanya whispered, “And ….”
“That dumb bitch is with him, too, isn’t she?”
“I’m sorry, Ray. But promise me you’ll keep your cool.”
Gritting her teeth, Rayshell eventually conceded. “Can we just get out of here?”
As they returned to their table, Rayshell kept her eyes on the ground until Stephanie’s high-pitched laugh caught her ear. Luckily, she nor the rest of her group looked her way, and they continued to their usual spot in the corner by the entrance.
Justine’s eyes swelled with apathy, and she hugged Rayshell tightly upon her return. “I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be. This was bound to happen sooner or later.”
“Let’s just carry on with our night,” Manny called out as he racked up the balls for a new game.
“Hey Ray, what’s that song you always play here?”
“What? You mean, ‘Until it Sleeps’?”
“Yeah. Want me to put it on for you?”
“Sure. It beats the hell out of what everyone else usually plays.”
“Alright!”
Rayshell cringed. If Justine’s response were a text message, it would have a dozen emojis following the single word.
“See, girls. This is how you break,” Manny called.
“Hey, nice shot,” said Jesse as he inspected his friend’s move. “Thanks for making one for me.”
After a couple of quick rotations, Manny asked, “Hey Ray, want my shot?”
Recognizing his attempt to distract her, she accepted with a smile. Her song began to play as she walked to the table, and she realized that she had overlooked the fact that Shawn knew it was one of her favorites. Biting the inside of her cheek, she nervously peered his way.
“Well, this is just dandy,” she muttered after locking eyes with Shawn.
Opting to distract herself from the imminent confrontation, Rayshell shifted focus back to their game. She stopped, prepared to land a shot with a high margin of failure, and gave it a go. Unexpectedly, her move deftly landed two balls into the side pockets.
“Dude, nice shot!” cheered Tanya.
Rayshell paced around the table, stalking her next move as her anxious thoughts wriggled free. Once she made her decision, she bent over and locked eyes with Shawn. Luckily, it seemed that Stephanie and the others hadn’t noticed her yet. Imbued with an uncharacteristic confidence, Rayshell landed another quick shot.
“Alright, Ace. I think you should give the stick back to Manny now,” Jesse called playfully, but it fell on deaf ears. “What’s the deal?”
“Shawn knows she’s here,” uttered Tanya.
“Well, shit. We might as well call it a night now before I have to kick his ass.”
“Don’t worry,” said Rayshell, then purposefully scratched. “Just as long as his little groupie doesn’t start anything, I’ll be fine.”
Rayshell handed the stick back to Manny, then took her seat. Her eyes wandered back to Shawn, who conversed with his friends as though he hadn’t noticed her. Moments later, Stephanie grabbed her purse and headed for the bathroom.
“I need to go outside.”
“I’ll go with you,” said Justine as Rayshell grabbed her bag.
“I appreciate it, but I just want to be alone right now,” Rayshell answered, then quickly headed for the front.
“It’s okay. Just let her go,” said Tanya as she took Justine by the shoulder.
Jesse grumbled as he watched Shawn’s eyes follow Rayshell. “If he goes after her, I’m going out there, too.”
“Guys, just let her be,” Tanya affirmed as she walked to the end of the pool table. “She can handle this herself.”
The cool evening air was quick to calm Rayshell’s swelling cheeks. With her eyes locked on the gum-spotted walkway, she kept a firm pace as she rounded the corner of the building and promptly lit a cigarette. Sucking back breath after breath of the noxious smoke, she continued through a small, dark, and nearly vacant parking section, heading for the short wall bordering the far end of the plaza. By the time she found a place in the recesses to relax, she had finished half of her cigarette. She was dizzy, anxious, and nowhere close to feeling the relief her vice typically afforded her.
With tense eyes, Rayshell examined her smoking cherry as she leaned against the trunk of a young bottle brush tree. It was becoming ever more burdensome to continue as usual when her heart and mind were so deeply connected to all that had transpired. From the visions of Navaryn’s memories to the host of other strange instances she shared with Trish, her personal life was pale in comparison. She winced as she repositioned herself against the tree. Her hazy memory fought to recall the large block of missing time from Friday night and the reason for the strange aching between her shoulder blades.
“I was wondering where you ran off to.”
Rayshell’s nerves caught fire the moment Shawn’s voice funneled into her ears, but she managed to avoid flinching. Maintaining composure, she looked at the peaceful residential neighborhood draped in orange light ahead of her.
“So you’re just going to wait out here until your friends finish, or what?”
Rayshell flicked her cigarette into the middle of the street. “Why can’t you just leave me alone already?” she asked while fishing out the citrus hand lotion from her bag.
Shawn sat beside her. “Because. I can’t stop thinking about you. When I’m with Stephanie, I think of you. When I wake up, in class, and everywhere in between.”
Shawn’s confession, however insincere it was, made Rayshell freeze. She folded her bag into her lap and slowly turned to face him. The tingling anxiety in her chest sparked to fire despite her efforts to repress it. Though her circumstance with Shawn seemed paltry and superficial, she felt the need to address the dilemma. Yet, the passing moments steered her thoughts away from Shawn’s profession and back to the severity of her bizarre circumstance.
What Von felt for Navaryn was more profound than anything Rayshell had dreamed of, let alone experienced. Worlds away, the proclamation he made to stop at nothing until he succeeded in bringing Navaryn back made Rayshell long to be yearned for in the same way.
Annoyed by the contriving words that slithered into her ears, Rayshell took Shawn by the collar of his shirt. Moments away from demanding silence, her scowl unexpectedly softened. She connected back to the vision she had on the way to the billiard hall, and soon Navaryn’s emotions swarmed within her. As her lips slowly parted, Shawn was ready to capitalize on what he thought was a successful wooing.
Quietly, Tanya walked toward the corner of the building, concerned and a bit nervous about what she may find. Being the most objective of her group, they tasked her to survey the situation. She stopped at the edge of the side parking lot and scanned the area for any sign of Rayshell. Right when she was about to turn away and continue her search on the other end of the building, two dark figures in the distance caught her attention.
“Oh, my, god,” Tanya whispered to herself and quietly stepped back into the shadow of the building.
She adjusted her glasses and looked at the entwined silhouettes again, confirming that the two figures were Shawn and Rayshell. As Tanya walked back inside, she tried to suppress her shocked countenance, aiming to keep what she saw a secret.
Rayshell abruptly disconnected from the vision and Shawn’s opportunistic embrace. After a few silent and nervous moments, she pulled the strap of her bag over her shoulder and stood. Shawn followed in tow and reached into his pocket for his car keys.
“Ready?” he said as he licked his lips.
Rayshell looked at him with a crooked grimace. “Ready for what?”
“To go back to my place.”
“Don’t get the wrong idea,” she plainly stated as she started through the parking lot. “I’m not going home with you.”
Shawn put his fists to his hips, stunned by her declination. “Then what the fuck was that back there?”
Any remnants of passion and longing had immediately dissolved from Rayshell following his infuriated inquisition. Clomping towards the billiard hall, she blurted, “Truthfully, I don’t know, okay?”
“What kinda shitty explanation is that?!” he yelled as he worked to match her furious pace.
“Look. It was an accident.”
“An accident? Are you fucking with me?”
“Did you honestly think that one kiss would fix everything?”
Shawn threw open his arms. “Then what about all that romantic bullshit you said?”
Rayshell’s heart skipped an irregular beat. She hadn’t considered what might have transpired during the vision. Shawn’s familiar redolence wafted to her nose and sobered the rest of her mind. She felt qualm, confused, and uncomfortable to be standing where she was.
Shawn pressed his lips together and looked at the pavement. “Well, I guess you got me. The thought of sneaking you into my room tonight sounded nice, but I’m sure there’ll be another opportunity.”
Rayshell’s eyes glazed over with the same disdain she was accustomed to feeling. “Oh, is that right?”
“You seem to like playing this game as much as I do.”
Rayshell stared at his bitter face, cast in harsh shadows by the unflattering orange backlight. During the silent string of moments, she realized the time had come to release all the anger, sadness, and frustration that coiled her heart.
“I’ve never played games with you. I loved you, and you betrayed that,” Rayshell declared, then walked back toward the bottle brush tree. “Now, enjoy your pathetic existence.”
Shawn called after Rayshell while she continued ahead through the quiet neighborhood and watched her dark figure slowly disappear into shadow.
Nearly two hours later, Rayshell arrived at the main street that crossed paths with her apartment just a few blocks ahead. She was fatigued and had a headache from smoking herself sick along the way. Her dry and tingling mouth was bitter and smelled just like the descriptor Trish used to be fond of using; an ashtray’s asshole. As she recalled the instances of her grumpy retorts to her friend, she cracked a smile.
In the distance, a clacking sound broke the air and steadily grew louder and raspier as it approached. She looked down the empty street to catch the silhouette of a skateboarder barreling down the opposite sidewalk. Once across from each other, the boarder dropped his tail and came to a grinding halt.
“Ray?!” he yelled.
Rayshell stopped under the streetlight as the boarder jumped the curb and pushed her way. After an intimidating powerslide, the boarder took off his cap and looked Rayshell dead in the eyes.
“God damn it, Ray!” Jakobe boomed, kicking up his board. “What the hell happened to you? Your friends have been blowing me up, worried sick because you just disappeared from the billiards.”
Rayshell resumed walking, and Jakobe followed after her in stride.
“Dude, you reek,” he said and pinched his nose. “Did you smoke a whole pack of cigarettes or somethin’?”
“Close.”
“What the hell happened? Did Shawn do anything to you?”
“No,” she answered simply.
“I hope you’re telling the truth.”
“He didn’t do anything, okay? We just talked. Mostly.”
Jakobe panned his disturbed eyes at his sister. “Mostly? Aw, for fuck’s sake. You’re not dating that loser again, are you?”
Rayshell guffawed and then shouted, “Hell no!”
“Good. You had me scared for a moment.” He dug out his phone from his pocket. “Here, want to call your friends back?”
“Nah. I don’t feel like talking right now. I’ll fill Tanya in at school tomorrow.”
While Rayshell continued ahead, Jakobe dropped his skateboard and stood under an overhead streetlight. Though he wanted to pelt her with a string of curses, he took a moment to text the news of Rayshell’s return to her worried friends instead.