Chapter Twenty-Eight

Aiden

Behind my eyelids, there’s only blackness. I take in air, and my lungs expand slowly. At first, my mind is empty, but then I realize I’m breathing and can feel my heart beating inside my chest. The relief is shattering, raining down over me. I soak in every drop, like a desert absent of water.

I’m still alive.

I blink as light fills my vision, an obscure, dim, yellow color. I move my head toward its source and blink again. The restraints strapping me to the chair are gone. I’m not even in a chair—I’m in a bed. My bed. My heart thunders, and I sit up.

Someone sits in the chair a few feet away. She shifts when I turn my head.

I choke on my words but finally manage to spew them out. “Melanie. What happened? I thought—I’m not… How?”

She roughly shoves a hand through her hair, and random pieces are left sticking up, as though she’s been doing this same action over and over. “Aiden.” Her breath hitches, and she shuts her eyes, slowly inhales, then reopens them.

“What happened?”

Her lips quiver. “Dr. Niels gave you a sedative. You’ve been out for a few hours.”

How the hell is that possible? I look at my hands and move my fingers. I scrape my fingernails against my flesh, and I can feel it.

I can feel.

I am alive.

Remembering the fuzzy words being said before everything went black, my heart skips a beat. “Did I hear that right? Am I really Dr. Niels’s son?” Or hell, I probably made that shit up in my drugged state. I’m no one’s son.

But her nod confirms it.

I gape, my brain scrambling to understand, to put all the pieces together. Breathless, a flush of adrenaline courses through me. I have a dad? I am more than just a machine. My lips spread wide, and a euphoric heat mixes with the adrenaline spreading through my veins.

“I’m still amazed that you remembered the name Velveteen. If you hadn’t, or if Elena hadn’t shared that detail with me, I would’ve never put the pieces together accurately.”

“Wait,” I say, my smile faltering. “That’s a memory from my previous life, when I was Seth and not Aiden?” She nods. “Does this mean I have access to other memories?”

“That would be a question for Dr. Niels.”

“Where is he? And Carter? Elena?”

Dr. Burns stares at her hands, twisting them in her lap. “After you…he—” Her reddened eyes well with tears—tears I can’t understand.

I push myself to the edge of the bed, fear clawing at my throat.

“It was an accident, but…” She shakes her head and finally meets my gaze. “Elena was shot.”

Any relief and joy I felt at comprehending the truth vanishes—sucked away, leaving me cold and empty. Someone has surely shoved a knife deep into my chest.

And is twisting it. Hard.

I stand. “No. No. That can’t be right. She can’t be hurt.” I bite the inside of my cheek with a furious shake of my head. “Where is she? Is she okay?”

“She’s in the medical wing. They didn’t want to risk waiting to go to the hospital. She was bleeding too much and—”

My comfortable bed forgotten, I stand, bare feet hitting the floor with a loud thump. “But she’s okay?”

“I haven’t been in there for a couple hours. When I was, they were trying to extract the bullet, stop the bleeding.”

“But she’s here? In the building?” She nods again. “Take me.”

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea, Aiden.”

“I don’t care if it’s a good idea or not.” My hands clench into fists. “Take me there or I’ll break my way into that wing and take out anyone who tries to stop me.”

Breaking into the medical wing is probably impossible—but who the hell cares? I need to see Elena, and I’ll do anything to make that happen. I have to make sure she’s okay, see her face, see her breathing.

Dr. Burns stands, too, and reluctantly nods.

It’s painful to walk instead of run. As we move through the empty, familiar hallways, Melanie tells me everything that happened after I lost consciousness. Every word burns a new hole in my heart.

We walk, and my fingers are numb, shaking. I clench them together as I wait for her to unlock the doors to get out of A wing. There are hallways that lead to more hallways and doors that lead to more doors. With every step, my heart pounds three times. My chest is on the verge of exploding, and if I was completely human, I’d likely be in cardiac arrest by now.

Finally, we reach the silver door labeled Medical Room A. Computer screens and scanners line a long table against the wall, and behind that is a giant window looking in on the actual medical room.

Elena.

I see her lying on the bed, and I pay no attention to any of the equipment or screens surrounding her.

And I pay no attention to Carter, who stands next to the bed.

My breaths quicken as I bolt for the door. Someone yells at me to stop, something about how I’m not allowed in there. Fuck off.

The small space is almost completely silent. Light beeps mark a slow rhythm, but even those fade away, and I hear nothing, see nothing aside from Elena’s still body.

She rolls her head and blinks her wide eyes. I close the distance between us in one heartbeat.

“Aiden. You’re here.”

I get down on both knees, leaning over the small bed. “I’m so sorry. God, I’m so, so sorry.”

Her hand lifts toward me. She stares at my face, her lips lifting in the briefest way. “When I thought you…I almost didn’t believe it. But you’re really okay. You’re really alive.”

“Stop.” I wrap my fingers around her outstretched hand and her touch warms me, melting away the cold numbness. “I’m not important.”

She squeezes her eyes, and it causes tears to rush down her face and roll onto the pillow. “Of course you are.”

I shake my head, swallowing thickly. “You’re important. You could have died.”

Because of me. She could’ve died because of me. If not for me, she’d never been shot by a bullet. Twice. Two shots that could’ve killed her. If I hadn’t broken out of AIR in the first place, Elena wouldn’t have been around to be shot.

So many ifs. They don’t matter now. Like Dr. Niels said before, what’s done is done. The only thing I can control is the future. No one else needs to get hurt. No one else needs to suffer.

“But I didn’t die. I’ll be okay.” She blinks and sends me a halfhearted smile. “Getting shot in the stomach hurts soooo much worse than having a bullet graze your arm. In case you were wondering.”

Pain stabs at my chest. “That’s not funny,” I murmur.

Her smile fades. “I know. I just wanted you to smile.”

My lips quirk, but it’s hardly a smile. I just can’t find it in me to tip my lips upward. Everything went so horribly wrong. This was my worst fear—that Elena would get hurt because of me. I hate myself for allowing this to happen. Even if she is going to recover and be perfectly fine, it’s too close a call for me. If the bullet had hit her an inch to the right, or if the gun had been a foot closer—anything, it doesn’t matter. It was too damn close.

Elena shouldn’t have to suffer because of me. I never want her to hurt or cry—not because of something I did, and not when I can stop it.

“I’m sorry,” I say. “I’m so goddamn sorry about all of this.”

She winces. “Don’t—”

“You don’t deserve any of this. I’d do anything to change what’s happened.”

I lean my head down until my forehead meets Elena’s. My hand cups the side of her face, and I shut my eyes, breathing in deeply. I allow myself a few moments like this—just being close to her. Then I pull back, kiss her forehead, and try giving her the smile she wants from me. Her gaze flickers, and her eyebrows jump in confusion. What’s left of my soul slams against the floor and shatters into a zillion unrecognizable pieces.

“Remember all the things I said to you,” I whisper. I hope she’ll remember when I told her how happy she made me, having the chance to know her. She gave me a chance at a life—a real life. She made me feel human and worthy of her compassion and affection. “Know that I’m sorry.”

Her voice is rough and pained when she answers. “What’re you saying?”

I tear my gaze away from her and look to the right. Carter still stands there, silent as a mouse. Hell, I forgot he was even in here, and I’m surprised he didn’t immediately protest. His arms are wrapped across his chest. He’s breathing fast, and when my eyes find his face, it’s straight and controlled. There’s redness in his eyes and paleness in his cheeks—he’d been crying.

I was convinced he wasn’t capable of that.

He stands silently watching us, and a part of me wants to thank him for that. For not pulling me out of the room without a final goodbye.

“Aiden?” Elena says.

If I open my mouth to say anything else, I’ll fall apart.

I rise and take a step closer to Carter. He watches me carefully, and I’d bet anything he wants me dead more now than he did only hours ago. His desire is personal now.

I nod toward the door and move, certain he’ll follow me.